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Part 2 Chapter Five: Be with me

POV: Yusuke

What frustrated Hiei the most was the fact that I wouldn't explain how I felt about him beyond telling him that I loved him. I didn't understand what he wanted to know really. Or why, as the case may be. What did it matter to him how I felt beyond love? Wasn't the fact that I loved him more than enough? Why was he complicating it?

Then it hit me. It was my fault that Hiei was all messed up in the head over me. I complicated the situation by telling him I loved him in the first place. What an idiot I was! But how do you explain something you don't understand fully yourself? Would it make better sense if I told him that I was in love with him? Would he even know what that meant?

Or wait a minute. Did he want to know if I was attracted to him physically? Well, the answer is yes. A very speedy yes. Gods, the guy blew my mind with his sex-godliness. I wonder what he'd do if I called him a sex-god to his face. Probably kill me…

It made me wonder if he even felt the same.

He's never stayed away this long. It's practically night.

Then he came through my bedroom door and sat next to me on the bed so matter-of-factly that it took me a moment to register the fact that he doesn't live with me. "Welcome h- back," I said, stutteringly.

"I wanted to apologize for insulting your cooking earlier."

"What are you talking about?"

"I wouldn't eat your breakfast. I also wanted to apologize for being such an ass to you ever since we… came back from Yukina's."

"What's a fight between friends? Doesn't mean much."

Hiei looked really hurt for some reason. "Is that all I am to you? Just a friend?"

"Well, you mean more than that but I can only go as far as you'll let me."

"Is your love for me… platonic?"

"As in friendly as opposed to friendlier?" Hiei nodded. "It's only that way because you haven't given me any reason to… you know… go for it with you. I don't know how you feel about me at all. I'm the only one being open about his feelings here. If you want it to be something more, I'm sure as hell not going to object."

"Then you meant that you wanted to be with me forever as lovers…"

"If that freaks you out, we can pretend this never happened." Boy was I red in the face.

He looked up at me with a piercing gaze and not for the first time, I wanted to kiss him so bad it hurt. "I spoke to Kuwabara today. And Kurama," Hiei added. "He's not awake yet but Kuwabara told me to talk to him anyway."

"Okay…"

"The strange thing is, Kuwabara tried to help me figure out how you felt about me."

"Well… I mean, I never told him so how would he know?"

"Apparently, he did know. He kept trying to tell me that you were attracted to me but I wouldn't listen. I thought he was being… I thought he didn't know what he was talking about."

"Yeah… so… um… Hiei, I'm really freaking out here. I don't know if your mad at me for liking you this way or if you're not sure what to do or if you even care that I'm attracted to you but I wish you would talk to me about it."

"I certainly care. After all, if I'm going to be with you for the rest of my days, such a thing as this can not be ignored."

"Hiei… Please… If you're teasing me or something, I'm not liking it."

"Take it slow with me, alright? I want to be with you as lovers too. I'm just not ready for… sex."

"Okay, but is it alright if I, like hug you and stuff?"

Hiei didn't answer me right away but after a moment, his answer became clear. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek.

"Thank you, Hiei."

He pulled away and kicked off his boots. Then he crawled under the covers.

"Okay… You can have the bed, I'll sleep on the couch this time," I said.

"What? You don't want a 'cuddle nap?'" He grinned evilly at me.

"Ehh… um, just give me a minute and I'll change." I walked away and picked out some pajamas then started heading for the bathroom.

"You can change in here. I'm not one to mind about seeing someone naked."

"Er, okay." I changed as fast as possible. What's with him? He doesn't want to have sex –not that I want to right now!- but he doesn't mind seeing me naked?

I slipped under the covers and waited for Hiei to make a move. He scooted closer to me and lay his head on my chest. I wrapped an arm around him and stroked his hair with my other hand.

He fell asleep almost instantly.

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