Fourteen. Fourteen steps took him from the front door to the kitchen counter top. Fourteen steps, not enough to really build up speed, but, for now it was the best he could do. Without pause, Dean continued to pace. He was determined to shake off the combination of anger and fear that had gripped him since he'd realized Sam wasn't coming out of the double glass doors of the middle school. He hadn't exaggerated just how scared he'd been. Dean's pace quickened. He had no doubt the fear was here to stay. It would be a long time before he could stand somewhere and wait for his brother without a sense of apprehension.
However, the anger, the urge to pound on something or at the very least shoot it full of holes, that was something he did have to get under control. Problem was, he couldn't leave. For the moment, pacing was about the best he could do.
Dean's glance flicked to his bedroom. He'd heard Sam crying earlier but the kid had quieted down in the last twenty minutes. He had almost certainly cried himself to sleep. That's probably why things had gotten so quiet. Dean stared hard at the door once more. Finally, he broke formation and on silent feet walked to the bedroom. Confident that he was overreacting he pressed one ear to the door and held his breath, and heard nothing.
"Shit," he mumbled as he turned his head, leaning his forehead against the wood. He figured he had two options, he could just assume Sam was in fact asleep on his bed, after having cried himself out. Or, the kid'd gone out the window, off to chase whatever 'lead' he thought he'd found. Sam could be the poster child for the saying 'curiosity killed the cat'. He never could let things be, he was always pushing for answers. Dean often wondered if Sam's drive to figure out the why wouldn't one day end up getting him killed. As he stood listening, he began to think that maybe today was that day. Cause, Dean was pretty sure if he opened the door and Sam wasn't passed out in bed, sound asleep, he'd be the one to kill him.
Scared of what he would find, Dean eased the door open. A soft sigh of relief escaped him as a beam of light from the open doorway fell across Sam's face. His baby brother had fallen across the bed, and from what Dean could see had indeed cried himself to sleep. Dean felt a tug on his heart as he stared at Sam. At that moment, all of his anger left in a rush, leaving him almost weak with relief that Sam was okay. Relief that his brother had simply done something dumb, rather than the idea that someone or even something had hurt him.
He eased inside the room and made his way to the bed. Sam lay on his side, on Dean's bed, facing the door, his arms wrapped tight around Dean's pillow. The position was all too familiar to Dean. Although, his little brother hadn't done it in years, Dean hadn't forgotten. Whenever the Winchester's lives had become too much for Sam to handle, he would find his way into Dean's bed, curl up on his side, and hug Dean in the same way. Dean drew a breath and moved around the bed. Grabbing the blanket off Sam's bed, he covered his brother and took a step back. He dropped down onto Sam's bed and watched the rise and fall of his brother's back. He was somehow soothed by the familiar sound of Sam's breathing. Maybe, because it was the first sound he heard when he awoke every morning and the last sound he heard each night.
A surge of weariness filled Dean, unable to fight it, he dropped his head in his hands. All weekend thoughts of Beth had overwhelmed him, making him wish his father had never brought them here. He hated himself for being weak, he knew better. Hell, if the family had a motto it'd be, 'Never get attached', not to people or places. John's only concession was for inanimate objects, those weapons that could always be counted on, and each other. Dean had been raised to believe that the only people he could trust were his father and his brother. Until Fall River, he'd never had a problem maintaining a safe distance from those around him, until Beth. She'd been the only one to get under his skin, there was just something about her. She was vulnerable in a way that he could relate to. Tragedy had struck her hard and fast, stealing away the life she'd known
Dean sighed and rubbed a hand through his hair, debating whether he should just cave to the exhaustion that gripped him. His fight with Beth hadn't been the only thing causing him to miss sleep. After school on Friday he'd gone to Wendell's to pick up John's pay only to find the shop locked up for the weekend. Then today he'd intended to go back but Sam had put an end to that plan. He was going to have to go directly there after school tomorrow as he was nearing the end of the cash John had given them. If he didn't get there soon he'd end up having to hit his emergency stash, he wanted to avoid that if possible. Even in the dimly lit room, the outline of the coffee can gave Dean a feeling of security. Regardless of John's pay, at least Dean knew his brother wouldn't have to go hungry.
Dean squinted a bit as he looked at the can illuminated by the light from the open bedroom door. Dropping off the side of the bed, he went to his knees and fished it out from under the bed. The anger he'd so carefully reigned in flared hot and bright as he noticed the plastic lid wasn't completely on. His hands fumbled as he pried it off completely and reached inside. It took only a moment to count the few dollars that were left. Dean's gaze shot up to Sam, who lay only inches away. He was suddenly afraid, afraid that if he didn't get away from Sam he was going to do or say something irrevocable. Dean shot to his feet, the can tucked tightly under his elbow. It took everything he had to shut the bedroom door quietly as he fled the room.
888
"Beth, I'm home."
Beth's head snapped up as a burst of adrenaline spiked through her body at her aunt's voice. She struggled up and out of the rocking chair she'd been sleeping in with a lurch. Her muscles, stiff and sore from the hard wooden chair, screamed in protest as she gained her feet. She couldn't help but berate herself for falling asleep. It's just that she was so tired, mind numbingly tired. She had managed to keep herself awake all weekend long, taking naps whenever she could be sure her aunt was out of the house. She'd come to realize if she slept in the old wooden rocker in her room, she never slept deeply enough to dream. So far, it had worked, she hadn't dreamed in the last three days. However, she was quickly realizing that she could only stay awake for so long, after that, uncomfortable or not she was going to sleep and not wake up. She couldn't have that, she was too scared of what might happen.
Today at school, while she'd worked to avoid Dean, she'd come up with a plan. A temporary plan at best, but, at this point she couldn't afford to be choosy. Calling out, "Okay," she stretched, her nap had helped to clear away the cobwebs. At least she felt slightly more clearheaded and in control. Whatever was going on, she intended to keep Caro safe.
She gave herself the once over in the mirror, grimacing at the sight that greeted her. Her normally pale skin was nearly transparent with fatigue and the dark circles that lay under her eyes gave voice to just how much sleep she'd lost. She'd never make it past Caro's radar looking like this. She'd been avoiding her aunt as much as possible the last couple days, but that wouldn't work tonight. Beth took a moment to apply a little make-up, paying special attention to the circles under her eyes. Finally finished, she took a step back and studied her reflection. Satisfied that she looked a good deal better, she left her room intent on finding her aunt.
As she headed for the kitchen, she quickly decided on a plan of action. The way she figured it was, she couldn't hurt Caro if she wasn't here. She just needed to get out from under her aunt's watchful eyes without raising any suspicions. Beth rolled her eyes as she headed for the kitchen at the idea of hiding anything from Caro. Her aunt was nothing if not perceptive. Just before she entered the kitchen, Beth drew a deep breath and put on a weak smile. She knew it probably fell short of being a true smile but she hoped it would do.
"Hey, how was work?" Beth asked, as she glided toward the fridge she sneaked a peak toward her aunt just before she opened the door and bent to peer inside.
Caro paused in the act of sorting mail and glanced toward Beth a frown on her face. "Fine, I kept expecting you and the boys to show up. What's up?"
Beth stood before the fridge drawing a blank at what she should say. Careful to give no real thought to Dean and the pain she'd caused him, after all, she was trying to avoid crying, she straightened with a soft drink in hand and moved toward the cabinet where they kept the glasses. "The guys had some stuff to do after school." Beth hoped her aunt wouldn't notice the tremor in her voice as she spoke.
"I haven't seen them in a couple days. Is everything okay?"
Beth kept her back to her aunt, making a show of pouring the soda. "Sure." She almost offered more but she really had no idea what she could say. She'd spent the last couple of months spending nearly every free minute with the Winchesters, she wasn't surprised that her aunt had noticed their sudden absence.
Beth turned to face Caroline and sipped her soda. She had no trouble interpreting Caro's look, her aunt was about to start questioning and Beth really wasn't sure just how much she could take before she broke down. Choosing to take the offensive, she cut off whatever her aunt had been about to say. "Hey I was going to go out with..." Beth paused as she searched for a name, "Shelly, tonight. She asked if we could do a girl's night at her place. I know it's a school night, but I'm all caught up on my homework."
Caroline's eyebrows nearly lifted off her forehead in surprise. Beth could see that her words had driven all thoughts of Dean Winchester out of her aunt's mind. "Who's Shelly?" Caroline questioned, her voice laden with surprise.
Beth quickly went on the defensive. It wasn't often she played the teenager hand but when she did it always worked. Blowing out an exaggerated breath, she said, "I told you about Shelly, she's in my fourth period study hall." Beth ignored the wave of guilt that flooded her and rolled her eyes at Caroline's confused look. "I told you about her. Anyway, I told her I could go. I can, right?"
Caroline seemed unsure of what to say. Beth knew her aunt well enough to recognize the confusion, and really, she was justified, as Shelly didn't actually exist. Beth was fairly confident that Caro would say yes simply because it'd been so long since Beth had done anything so ordinary as a 'girl's night'. The last couple of months spent hanging out with two teenage boys in a bookstore didn't exactly scream normal.
"Sure, Honey. Of course you can go, just leave me a number, and stick to the rules," Caroline said as she studied her niece. Finally, she seemed to come to a decision. "I just have to ask. You're not meeting Dean tonight, are you?"
Beth couldn't stop the gasp of pain that escaped her, she quickly put her hand to mouth and coughed a couple times, trying to cover her lapse. "No, I'm not meeting, Dean."
Caroline seemed to weigh her words for a moment before nodding. "Fine, have fun then."
Beth breathed a sigh of relief as her aunt left the kitchen and headed down the hall. Quietly as she could, she grabbed out a white plastic grocery bag and threw a couple sodas in it, along with a breakfast bar and an apple. Provisions packed, she headed for her room, pausing only to put on a sweatshirt and throw a blanket into an old backpack. Shoving the shopping bag into the backpack, she quickly scribbled down a phone number on a scrap piece of paper. She felt her heart constrict in pain as she looked at what she'd written. The number belonged to Dean, it was one she knew well. Carefully she erased a couple numbers and replaced them. It was one thing for Caroline to call a number and find out it was no good, but if her aunt was to call the Winchesters and Dean answered, Caroline's good humor would go out the door.
Within minutes, Beth had left the number on the kitchen table and was headed out the door. She wasn't sure just what she could accomplish by leaving tonight but at the very least she was keeping Caroline safe.
888
Beth leaned back against the concrete tunnel wall. Unsure of where to go, she'd headed for the one place she truly figured she'd be safe. The large concrete tube she now rested in was the same tube she'd first kissed Dean in. At first, she'd been sure the memories would be overwhelming, but, instead, she found herself comforted by the memories. It was as if he was still there wrapping her in his warm embrace. Although, she was sure she'd done the right thing in sending him away, it was a struggle maintain a safe distance. At school today, every time she'd seen him in the halls she'd wanted nothing more than to go to him. To have him pull her against him and solve all her problems, but he couldn't. Not this time. This wasn't some school bully he could run off for her, no, this problem was beyond Dean's ability to solve.
Beth scrunched down lower, and wrapped her blanket more securely around her. She didn't know where to go from here. She wasn't even sure what was wrong. The last couple of days she'd been careful to keep her mind off the problem. Instead, she'd chosen to concentrate on staying awake rather than worry about the why. However, here in the dark with no one to worry about, she began to question just what was going on. Though, the evidence pointed to her she still couldn't believe that she'd killed her parents in cold-blood. Tears began to slide down her cheeks as she struggled to find another explanation. There had to be some explanation for not only the on-going nightmares and her parent's death, but also the reason why it was all happening again?
Beth closed her eyes, content that here in the playground of her old elementary school it was safe to relax to let down her guard. As Beth drifted off, her body unconsciously trying to find a comfortable place in the concrete tunnel, thoughts of a pair of startling hazel eyes with long sweeping lashes were the images she chose to concentrate on as sleep at last claimed her.