Hi, all. It's been a looooong while since we updated this, but we're doing our best to get our crap together...Sorry about the delay. We really do thank everyone who has reviewed the previous chapters. We appreciate your feedback, and hope that you'll continue to do so with this chapter.

Yours,

butterflyswest and Erin Allen

10

Ray couldn't breathe as he thought of what he was about to tell her. He turned words over in his mind, discarding everything that he could possibly say. What could he tell her? That he'd thought of nothing but her since the day she'd moved out? That he loved her so much that it hurt? That the only way to deal with the pain was to let it out, and the only way he could do that was to write music? It all sounded like pleas from a desperate man. He glanced at her and could see in her eyes that his hesitation hurt her. He blew out a breath, giving up. It was all or nothing. He opened his mouth to speak, but froze at a knock at the door.

Kerri Weaver entered without waiting for an invitation. Hell, she really didn't need one. As chief of staff, she practically owned the place. Her eyes scanned the room, taking in the instruments with a practiced frown. When her eyes came to rest on him, he thought that they softened a little, but it could have been his imagination.

"I see that the Monkees showed up," she said coolly. "Tell me, Barnett, do you intend on alienating the entire floor today or will you save that for another day?"

"Why put off till tomorrow what I could do today?" he asked smartly, cursing inwardly when her eyes flashed in annoyance.

Her eyes flicked to pin Neela where she sat.

"And did I hear right that you encouraged this?"

Neela bit her lip and glanced at Ray for a split second before nodding.

"I asked them to tone it down," she said, trying to make the frown line between Weaver's eyes go away. If anything, her scowl deepened. She held the expression for a long moment before she sighed wearily. Ray swallowed hard at the exhaustion in her face as she closed her eyes and shook her head. It hadn't been his intention to make her job harder that it obviously was. He again had neglected to think of anyone but himself. Kerri was still dealing with the aftermath of the shootout, and he was only making things worse.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. It wasn't something he said to her often, if ever. "I didn't mean…"

"Forget about it, Ray. It's just been a long day for me," she said, forcing a smile. "And if I have to listen to one more complaint from the surgical department about either you or Neela, I will scream."

Ray glanced at Neela in surprise.

"Why would surgery be complaining about you?" he asked.

She cringed, looking away.

"Because Dr. Albright and I had words."

Ray laughed.

"I would have loved to have been in the room for that one."

"You were," Neela told him. "You just weren't in any condition to hear it."

Ray frowned and opened his mouth to ask what they were arguing about when Kerri interrupted.

"Actually, Dr. Albright is the only person I haven't heard from," she said blithely. "Though I already caught wind of what you were arguing about. The truth is, Neela that the nurses on this floor are about to start a revolt if you don't leave. And Dr. Rinehart is having fits over your 'abominable conduct', those were his exact words I believe."

Neela met Kerri's gaze without flinching. She didn't have the smallest crumb of remorse in her for Rinehart's complaints. The pompous ass would have stuck Ray in a home by now if it hadn't been for her. She glanced at Ray and back again.

"I'm not leaving until…"

Kerri sighed heavily.

"I already know," she said tiredly. "That's really what I wanted to talk to the both of you about. Dr. Rinehart says that Ray can go home, but only if he has someone stay with him to monitor him for a while. I know that things are complicated for you, Neela, but I also know that you were roommates…"

Neela felt her heart quicken.

"You want me to go with him," she said, somehow managing to keep the excitement from her voice. She didn't dare look at Ray. She didn't want to see disgust in his expression or reluctance in his eyes. That would be more than she could take.

Weaver glanced at Ray.

"Would that be a problem, Barnett?"

Ray forced himself to breathe, his heart warring between elation and gratitude. He had been trying to come up with some excuse to get Neela back into the apartment without seeming desperate, and Weaver had just provided him with the perfect solution. He cleared his throat to cover his discomfort under her all too knowing gaze. That was a look that saw more than just the surface of things. It was as if Kerri Weaver could see right into the heart of you if she truly wanted to.

"I don't have a problem with it if Neela doesn't," he added the last reluctantly. He almost didn't care if she had a problem with it. He was feeling particularly primitive at the moment and would have carried her off then if he'd been able.

Neela shot him a sidelong look and felt her heart beat unevenly at the look in his eyes. She really couldn't put a name to that look, but it made her feel like a lamb waiting for the wolf to come. She forced her eyes back to Weaver and managed a smile.

"I'd be glad to. I'm sure that Abby would be happy to see me out of this place for a while."

Kerri looked back and forth between the two of them for a moment, her eyes missing nothing. Suddenly a genuine smile lit her face, erasing the haggard lines of exhaustion there.

"Good. I'll see to the paperwork personally." She looked at Ray, her smile almost warm. "It's good to see you up and about, Barnett. I imagine soon you'll be back in the ER, driving me insane again."

Ray searched her expression before he broke into a grin.

"I'll be coming back," he said, wondering if this new Kerri Weaver would still be around when he came back. He doubted it. If nothing else, the woman loved to give him crap.

"Good." She turned and headed for the door. "I'll just see to the paperwork."

Neela rose from her place and followed her into the hall.

"Dr. Weaver, could I have a word with you?"

Weaver paused, giving her a questioning look, waiting for Neela to speak. Neela took a deep breath, a thousand thoughts running through her head. She had been building up to surgery her entire life. It was all she'd wanted when she'd started medical school. And now, she was on the brink of achieving her goal, she was about to throw it away. But things had changed. She had changed, and it was all because of the man in the room behind her.

"I want to come back to the ER," she said, blurting it out before the fear could overcome her.

Weaver searched her face for a long thoughtful moment.

"Are you sure that's what you want to do?"

Neela closed her eyes and lowered her head, her heart pounding. Was she sure? She thought of all that had happened since Michael's death, all the confrontations with the surgical staff, including Albright. And she thought of Ray, and what she had almost lost. She opened her eyes and met Kerri's gaze directly.

"I'm sure."

Kerri offered a small smile and nodded.

"I was wondering when you would come to me with this. I wasn't exactly truthful when I said that I hadn't heard from Albright. She was quite incensed with your…lack of direction."

Neela bit the inside of her cheek to keep her temper in check. Lack of direction, may arse, she thought.

"I'll see to it," Weaver continued. "And Ray should be able to leave by the end of the day. Sooner if the staff on this floor have anything to say about it."

Neela nodded.

"Thank you, Dr. Weaver."

Kerri smiled, one of the first true smiles that Neela had ever seen from her.

"You're welcome. Just keep the Lollapolooza concert to a dull roar until you can get out of here. The nurses are likely to kill all of you if you don't."

Neela smiled as Kerri turned and walked away, heading to the nurses' station, barking orders. Shaking her head, she turned back toward Ray's room.

And the unanswered questions that burned in her mind.

She paused, her hand resting on the knob. It hadn't gone unnoticed that he hadn't come up with a ready answer to her question about the music. It hurt that he couldn't trust her enough to answer her directly, but then that was to be expected. She sighed as she pushed open the door. She wouldn't ask again.

"Hey! I'm dressing here!"

Neela froze at the shouted 'Hey!' but pushed on when she saw that he was mostly dressed anyway. Warmth spread from the top of her head to the tips of her toes at the sight of his bare chest and stomach. She'd seen him without his shirt a thousand times, but she had never felt this singeing in her blood before. She bit her lip as her gaze traced the healing scar on his chest, tears filling her eyes with the memory of how he had acquired it. The sudden urge to wrap her arms around him and lay her head against that scar was overwhelming, and she clenched her fists at her sides to keep from doing just that.

"Seen enough?"

She shook herself from her thoughts to focus on Ray. He was staring at her with an inscrutable expression on his face.

"What?"

His lips twisted into an odd smile.

"You were staring. You should know by know what scars look like. You're in surgery."

She narrowed her eyes.

"I wasn't staring at…"

His smile widened, turning smug.

"So it was me you were checking out."

"Don't be ridiculous," she snapped, a blush creeping across her body.

He laughed, easing himself onto the bed again with a heavy sigh.

"Christ! Who would have thought that getting dressed would feel like running a marathon?" He blew out a breath and looked at Neela with a question in his eyes, his brow furrowing.

"What's wrong?" she asked, crossing the room in alarm. Oh, God, she thought frantically. Don't let this be a relapse.

"Nothing. I'm fine…"

"Are you sure? Maybe we shouldn't…"

"Neela, I'm fine," he said in annoyance, rolling his eyes. "I was just wondering…" He paused as if searching for the right words.

"Yes?"

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

She frowned, momentarily confused.

"Do what?"

"You know…take care of me. You don't have to, you know."

"Why would you ask that, Ray?"

He shrugged avoiding her eyes.

"You've had a bad time too, Neela." He cringed and shot her a look of contrition. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

She shook her head. The pain of Michael's death had long faded. She still ached, that was true, but it was pale in comparison to what losing Ray would do to her.

"Who else is going to take care of you, Ray?" she asked pointedly. His expression turned to stone as he looked away. She took a breath. "Why am I listed as your next of kin?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I do."

He gave her a dark look.

"Well, can it be later then? I just want to get ready to go."

She searched his eyes for a long moment before nodding.

"I'll let it go for now," she conceded. "But you have some explaining to do when we get home."

A tingle went up her spine at the word home. Home with Ray. Alone. Memories assailed her, seeming to come from all directions. Watching Celebrity Poker and drinking a beer with Ray on the couch. Cleaning up after him. Chasing rockers from the apartment. Listening to him and the latest bimbo through the walls.

The night she'd left.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. She shook her head to dislodge the images and focused on the nurse who entered, pushing a wheelchair ahead of her.

"Dr. Barnett is being discharged," she said with no small amount of satisfaction. Neela raised an eyebrow as the woman glanced at her, obviously elated to be rid of her as well. So be it. Neela was happy to leave.

"I really hate this," Ray grumbled as he settled himself into the wheelchair. "Hospital policy sucks."

Neela laughed.

"You couldn't even get dressed without getting tired and you want to walk out of here. You're mad."

He smiled up at her.

"It's what you love about me."

Yes, it is.

"You're full of yourself today aren't you?" she said aloud.

"Always. Let's get out of here, Neela, before they poison my dinner."

The nurse looked less than pleased to be nudged out of the way, as Neela took the handles of the wheelchair. Her lips thinned before she handed a sheaf of papers to Ray.

"These are your discharge instructions," she said tightly. "And a prescription for pain medication. If you have any problems…"

"Then I'll take care of them," Neela finished. "May we go now?"

The woman nodded and stepped aside.

"What about this stuff?"

Neela glanced around the room, taking in the instruments. She picked up Ray's guitar and placed it across his lap.

"They should be back shortly," she said. "They'll pick them up then."

"What do we do with them until then?"

"Don't touch them," Ray said sternly. "Do you really want four very pissed off musicians in here?"

Neela fought the urge to laugh as her face went red and she stomped from the room.

"Think she's pissed?" Ray asked.

"I'm certain of it," she answered as she pushed him from the room toward the elevator. Every staff member at the nurse's station paused to watch them as they passed. Luckily, it didn't take long for the lift to reach them, and Neela hurried in just to escape their scrutiny. There was silence as they watched the numbers wind down on the display overhead.

"Neela?"

"Yes, Ray."

"Can we get a pizza on the way home?"

"Didn't you eat enough?" she asked in astonishment.

"I'm making up for lost time," he said, turning to give her his best pout.

"Fine. Sure," she said with a sigh.

He grinned and turned back around.

"Neela?"

"What?"

"Can we pick up a movie too?"

"Yes, Ray."

He paused.

"Neela?"

"What now?"

"Would you wear one of those little nurse's outfits around the house…"

He didn't even finish before she'd smacked him across the back of the head.

"Ow! There are laws against doctors abusing patients you know."

She grinned, as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Care to see me break them on a larger scale?"

"Not right now. Later maybe?"

She rolled her eyes, and turned back to watching the numbers over the door. Two passengers got on with them only to get off one floor down.

"Neela?"

"What is it, Ray?"

He hesitated and she glanced down, catching his reflection in the polished surface of the lift doors. He met her gaze.

"Thank you," he whispered so softly that she almost couldn't hear him. Had she not seen his lips shape the words, she very well might have. She smiled, blinking back tears.

"You're welcome," she whispered back just before the doors slid smoothly back to reveal a busy ER.

Neela pushed the chair through the hall, smiling at the greetings shouted at Ray.

"I think they missed me," he said surprised.

"Where are you going?" Abby called out, doing her best to catch up with them.

"Home," Ray said with a grin. "Neela's going to get me a pizza and a movie on the way." He was nearly bouncing with the exuberance of a four year old.

Abby raised an eyebrow and glanced at Neela who shrugged helplessly.

"Why didn't you ask for a puppy too? Or maybe a bright red lollypop?"

"Don't encourage him," Neela said. "You'll only make it worse."

"Ray! My man! Good to see you up and out."

Abby and Neela exchanged a long-suffering look and turned to find Morris approaching them.

"Uh…thanks."

"I was the one who saved your…"

"Shut up, Morris," Neela hissed.

"And Neela. Word has it you're moving back in with Ray." He grinned and glanced at Ray. "You lucky dog."

"Will you shut up?" Abby snapped.

Morris glanced between them. "Tag team action. I get it…"

"Shut up!" Neela and Abby cried in unison, earning several curious looks from those waiting in reception.

"All right!" Morris said backing away, his hands up to ward off the glares of the two women. "I have patients to save anyway. Sheesh!"

Abby looked at the ceiling for a moment as if searching for patience.

"If I wasn't pregnant," she said finally. "I'd kick his twitchy little ass."

Neela nodded and pushed Ray toward the door.

"I'll call you later," she called over her shoulder. She had better things to do than kick the crap out of Morris. She glanced down at the top of Ray's head.

"Are you ready to go?" she asked.

"More than ready." He paused before twisting his head around to look at her. "Was he really the one who worked on me?" he asked.

"He was one of the doctors," she answered absently, glancing around for a cab.

"Then it is a wonder that I'm not dead."

She couldn't help but laugh as she flagged down the first taxi she saw.