AN: Sorry about the delay. Had some severe uploading problems. The problem's still there, but at least I figured out a way around it. Now, on with the story before I talk more…

I won't let it show,

I'm all about denial.

But can't denial let me believe

That we could talk about it?

But we can't talk about it.

When Sakura had first cracked the method behind enhancing her strength with chakra, she'd also cracked four knuckles and rent a bicep. But the pain of going around hitting rocks with her bare fists was nothing to how it felt the following day. Back then, every time she had used her chakra to blow things up, be they rocks, trees or uncooperative washing machines, the backlash on her muscles was agony. There were days following training where she could barely even lift her arms for how much it hurt.

Tsunade had warned her that this was because her technique had yet to be perfected. It was all well and good channeling the chakra forward into a target, but it was not yet complete until she learnt to use the chakra to buffer the strain on her own body.

"It's multitasking," Tsunade had told her flippantly. "You have to defend yourself against your own attack at the same time or else you're going to wear yourself out fast. And trust me, it's aging."

Of course, Sakura was quite confident that she'd honed her skills well enough to avoid the painful repercussions nowadays. But overdoing it was still a problem. If she expended all her chakra or she pushed harder than her own body could cope with, she often wound up crippling herself - as she discovered the following morning when she woke up on a blanket of moss with her body wracked in pain.

"Ow… ow… ow, ow, ow!"

Kakashi looked at her over the top of his book. "Are you ok?" He was sitting a few meters away near the curtain of willow branches, twirling a flexible twig between his fingers as he read. He'd let her oversleep again.

"I'm fine," she muttered unconvincingly as she crawled slowly onto her knees. "You didn't wake me up for my watch."

He shrugged. "I could handle it," he said simply. "And you did fall asleep last time you were on watch."

Sakura's jaw tightened in both pain and irritation. "One mistake… you make one mistake…" She sat up slowly and groaned as her shoulders protested. Her arms shook ever so slightly as she pushed herself to her feet. She caught Kakashi frowning at her, but when she met his gaze he slid his attention back to his book.

It was then that Sakura recalled what had happened the previous night. Although, in terms of notable bases, nothing much had happened at all really. It wasn't like they'd kissed or groped or done any of the usual things that two people locked in such an intimate position might do. She'd just licked his finger and he'd played with her zipper a bit.

But it had been so much more than that… because she'd seen something in the eyes of her sensei that went way beyond platonic affection. It both scared and excited her. No one had ever looked at her quite like he had at that moment… as if the only thing that mattered to him was her body.

Why had he looked at her like that? Why had she even started it by taking his finger into her mouth? Right now the idea mortified her, but last night she'd been too drunk on their proximity to care. Perhaps he had felt the same? It was hard to say what had possessed them to act that way… but Sakura was pretty sure she was the one who'd started it (though there was probably something funny in that mushroom too). She could only hope that Kakashi didn't hold it against her.

Sakura looked at his turned back and the twig spinning rapidly between his fingers, so fast that it was forming a blurred circle. Suddenly it stopped spinning as he moved his hand to turn the page. Then it started again, twirling slower than before, but building up speed until he had to turn the page again.

He was ignoring her. Normally by now he would have shut his book and announced that they were to continue homeward.

Seeing as how they weren't going anywhere, Sakura sat down heavily, jarring her aching body. "Are you mad at me?" she asked quietly.

The twig stopped spinning. He flicked the tip twice with his thumb before turning to her with a light smile crinkling the corner of his eyes. "For what?" he asked, but it seemed to be rhetorical, as he quickly went back to his back and started twiddling with the twig again.

So he had no intention of discussing it? Well, that wasn't so shocking. Trying to get Kakashi to discuss such personal matters was like trying to bleed a stone.

And maybe he was right? Maybe it was best just not to talk about it. Nothing good could come of this kind of thing, so why even acknowledge it?

It was best just to… forget it.

Suddenly Kakashi slapped his book shut and tossed the twig away. "Alright. Let's continue homeward, shall we?" he said as he stood.

Yes, the sooner they reached Konoha the better. There they'd be able to put some space between them and get back to normal. Sakura nodded her agreement and began to stand again, only to have the muscles in her back protest loudly. She gasped in pain and clenched her jaw. Kakashi looked at her again.

"You're hurt," he said flatly.

"No, I'm fine." She tried to straighten normally, but her shoulders screamed in agony and she wound up grimacing all over again. "Ok… just a little hurt."

He folded his arms and turned completely towards her. "It's alright if you want to take a moment to heal," he offered.

Sakura appreciated the thought, but… "It's not that simple," she told him. "I overdid myself yesterday. I think I tore a few muscles, but they're already healed. Now they're just knotting and cramping on me." She squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed a shoulder fruitlessly. Oh, how she wished a herd of hippos would come out tearing out of the forest to trample on her back. She needed something extreme to loosen up these muscles.

A large warm hand settled on her bare shoulder and Sakura's eyes snapped open with a jolt. Kakashi was standing before her, looking his normally blasé self. "Sit down," he said easily. "I'll massage them for you."

Sakura's mouth worked for a moment. "No, it's alright. I just-"

"It's not a problem."

"I know, but-"

"Sakura, you're obviously in pain…" He raised an eyebrow at her, as if suspicious of her strong denial. Sakura caved and slumped onto her backside. She swiveled carefully so he could kneel behind her, both hands on her shoulders now.

She couldn't deny the warm shiver that ran down her spine when his fingers began to knead the muscles of her shoulders gently, though she reckoned that was simply a normal response to a massage. She sighed as some of the tension faded away, replaced by a simmering hum of pleasure. Every time he found a new knot she hissed, then groaned as he rubbed it into relaxation.

"How did you do this," he asked gently, pressing a thumb in small circles down the back of her neck.

"Well, Matsura may be old, fat and slow, but he's quite strong. Almost as strong as me. I had to work quite hard to keep him from strangling me…"

She heard Kakashi sigh behind her. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," she shrugged. "Ooh… a bit lower… bit lower… ah, that's it. Right there. Mmm."

She squirmed a little, under his hands. "Keep still," he told her, somewhat gruffly.

"Alright, but just a bit further left – ah!"

She broke off with a sudden, broken cry and an arched back as he found a tender spot near her spine. She felt him hesitate slightly, easing off the pressure. "No – keep going, that feels really good."

But he pulled back completely and stood, brushing imaginary lint off his sleeves. "No, I think that's done the job for now," he said in a tone that hinted there would be no arguing. "Can you move now?"

Sakura pulled a frown at his sudden withdrawal and gave her shoulders an experimental roll. "Um… it's still a bit stiff, and my arms are really sore-"

"Don't worry about it. You'll loosen up as we travel." He turned away.

"I guess," she sighed, getting to her feet. She felt slightly cheated. She'd given him an ace massage the other day, and here he was repaying her favor by cutting it short.

"Come on," he said. "Get ready and we'll set off. There's only another six hours or so between us and Konoha."

"Right."

Conversation was incredibly stilted as they traveled. Kakashi wasn't normally a chatterbox while on the move, but he at least normally allowed her to keep pace with him. This time he pulled ahead. He was either discreetly trying to leave her behind or had forgotten she was with him. But the occasional glance back in her direction let her know he was still mindful of her. Perhaps she was just slowed down thanks to her stiff muscles.

They passed another village, and Kakashi let her take a quick detour to grab a decanter of clean water and a couple of apples. He refused whatever she tried to share with him, and soon they were on the move again. Sakura wondered if he was deliberately trying to make a point by refusing the food – that he might be subtly hinting she was being a nuisance by wanting a break and sustenance.

But then, he normally refused most of what was offered to him.

However, this time there was a certain cold and distant manner to the way he regarded her. As if he really was mad at her, despite what he'd said. Since last night, things really had turned quite unpleasant. Kakashi wasn't happy about what had taken place, though Sakura wasn't sure who or what he was angry at.

She endured another hour of festering silence before she finally slowed to a full stop beneath the shelter of a large elm. Up ahead Kakashi quickly realized she wasn't following anymore and came to his own halt, looking back at her questioningly. "What's wrong?" he called. "Are you tired?"

Sakura was slightly insulted that he thought she would be so easily tired after only a few hours on the move. "I'm not tired," she began, stalking towards him. "Unless it's of you."

Confusion clouded the visible half of his face. "Uh…"

"Look, I'm sorry, ok?" she said when she'd stopped a few meters from him. Her face was heating up again, and frankly she was sick of being so susceptible to blushes. "I shouldn't have done it – I wasn't even thinking. I'll admit it's my fault, but you're being completely-"

"It wasn't your fault," Kakashi interrupted. The confusion was gone and he was looking slightly off to the side, rubbing the back of his neck.

"But I started it," she pointed out.

Now he looked skyward. "Yes, but it was me who… ah, never mind."

"Never mind what?" she pressed, scowling at him.

"I'll tell you when you're older." He began turning away again, hands stuffed in pockets.

Sakura cut in front of him in the blink of an eye, halting his next step. "I am older!" she snapped. "You can't pull that one with me. I've been a legal adult since I was fifteen! I've killed people and saved people and I'm paying for my own roof over my own head! How am I not old enough to talk to?"

"Sakura, I-"

"I'm sick of you always treating me like a child!" she ground out, giving him a good shove in the chest. He swayed back on his heels, hands still in pockets. "Always bossing me around and telling me what to do and taking over my mission and always feeling like you need to help me!"

"If I treat you like a child, it's only because you act like one," he said lightly, but clearly intending to patronize her.

"I do not act like a child!" she blustered.

"You argue like a child."

"We've having an adult difference of opinion!" she raged. "Why are you putting me down like that? Of all the people in the world it's you who I need…" She broke off suddenly, wondering if her mouth was running away with her and she'd said too much. But it was too late now. She just had to keep going. "Of all people, it's you who I need to see what I've accomplished on my own. I've tried so hard to prove how capable and independent I am, and then you come along and you don't see any of that do you? Do you just see a little girl who's only good for crushing on her teammates?"

Kakashi made a sound that was halfway between a snort and a laugh. "I don't see you as a little girl anymore, Sakura."

"Clearly," she said hotly. "Or I would have been rather worried at the way you were staring at my breasts last night."

This was obviously the wrong thing to say, as Kakashi suddenly took a step back and averted his gaze back to the trees with a frown. "It was a mistake," was all he said before brushing past her to continue along their route.

Extracting her foot from her mouth, Sakura quickly hurried after him. "Alright, I'm sorry. But if you really don't see me as a child, then stop trying to brush me off like this."

Gradually, he drew to a halt, one hand pinching between his eyes. "What exactly is it you want me to say, Sakura?" he asked, half turning to her. "You're confusing the hell out of me."

She confused him? That was a bit rich…

"Well, a little discussion would be nice," she said, feeling a bit self-conscious. "I'm a bit confused too, you know."

"Right. So we've established that we're both a little confused," he said dryly. "What wonderful progress this discussion is having."

Sakura's mouth set in a grim line. "You're not being very helpful."

"I thought you didn't want me being helpful," he pointed out, eyebrows tilted in query. "As I recall, you seem to take that as me treating you like a child."

"You know what I mean, Kakashi-sensei," she bit out.

He shrugged. "Perhaps… but if you want to stop being treated like a student, maybe you should stop treating me like I'm your teacher. You may be of age for the last two years, but I haven't been your teacher in five. You want equality and respect? You have it. Just give me the same."

Sakura stared at him. "What… you don't want me to call you 'sensei' anymore?" she asked uncertainly.

Once again, he shrugged. "It's up to you. Call me whatever you want. But please, nothing cruel."

"Like… Dandruff-head?"

He passed a hand over his eyes. "Cruel and completely untrue," he said. "Perhaps just 'Kakashi'?"

Sakura wrinkled her nose. "But that sounds weird."

"Or Hatake."

"That's even weirder."

"… is there something wrong with my name?"

"No, it's just… can't I call you Kakashi-sensei? It's what Naruto calls you still."

"But Sasuke just calls me by my first name," he pointed out, as if expecting her to copy the Uchiha for the sake of it.

"Yes, but that's just Sasuke trying to disrespect you."

"Really?" This probably wasn't news to him, but he still acted mildly surprised. "Well, either way, why don't you try it for a day? If it really bothers you, go back to 'sensei' or whatever. I won't mind."

Well, that sounded reasonable. "Alright… Kakashi," she said, with the distinct impression that she was leaving an incomplete sentence.

"Ok, Sakura," he said, rolling off her first name with much greater ease. But then, he'd been calling her that for years. "What did you want to 'discuss'?"

He was listening, arms folded and single-eyed gaze fixed firmly on her face. This was roughly all she'd managed to plan to far, and where everything roughly fell apart. "Um… well… not discuss, or anything really… um… just…" she floundered. "Well, I just need to know I'm not going crazy. I mean, these things that have happened… I don't really understand or-"

She broke off as Kakashi suddenly reached out towards her. He flicked a few strands of her hair above her ear before retracting his hand. "Beetle in your hair," he said, showing her the offending bug before dropping it to the ground.

"Right," she said, trying to collect herself again. "Where was I?"

"I have no idea," Kakashi replied blandly.

Sakura sighed and let her shoulders sag. "Fine… whatever. I just don't want you feeling guilty or responsible for what happened," she said quietly. "It was my fault too. I think… I think I've been getting the wrong signals."

Kakashi lowered his head a fraction. "The wrong signals…?" he asked, just as quietly.

Sakura looked at him uncertainly. "I can never be sure what you're thinking. Or how you feel. It's probably because of that stupid mask you always wear." And with that, she reached out and snatched the green nylon shirt she'd given him to tie around his face. His hand came up in surprise, almost as if to hide his newly bared features. "How am I supposed to know how you feel when you're constantly hiding it all behind this? I mean, how do you feel now?"

"To be honest, a little violated," he said and stepped forward to reclaim the mask. She held it aloft behind her back and refused to back away. His front bumped hers as he attempted to reach round her without success.

"That time you… with my thumb… in the bar," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Did that mean something?"

Kakashi said nothing. He only stared down at her face, completely lacking any kind of humor now. His mouth was just a thin line, offering even less expression than his one hooded eye and closed sharingan.

"And last night…?" she forced herself to go on, though she could almost feel herself shrinking beneath the intensity of his gaze. "What actually happened?"

Every time she breathed, her oversized vest brushed against his shirt. He was so close she could feel his cool breath on her forehead and see the flecks of black in his dark gray iris. She was also close enough to see the stubble lining his jaw and the almost imperceptible purple smudges beneath each eye, testament to the fact he'd stayed up all night reading.

"What's happening now?" she whispered, almost fearfully.

His eyebrows pinched together slightly, creating two deep furrows between them. He seemed to be swaying slightly, or maybe that was her. The sharingan had crept open, but it was fixed on her mouth like the other eye, watching her chew her lower lip. She looked at his lips too and noticed they were pale and dry, and slightly parted. Immediately she remembered what had happened in the gallery, and how it had felt to have those very lips pressed against her own. Was it even right she should be thinking about that? Was it ok to actually want it again?

Kakashi suddenly released his breath in a whoosh and swung back, as if awakening from a particularly gripping genjutsu. "Nothing," he muttered. "Nothing at all."

It took Sakura a moment to realize he was actually answering her question, and then he was turning away. Walking away.

Sakura's hand snagged his sleeve.

Neither of them moved.

"Please don't brush me off, Kakashi-sensei," she said quietly, staring so hard at the ground between them that she barely noticed her hair obscuring her vision.

"I thought I told you not to call me that," he pointed out patiently.

He wasn't facing her, so Sakura applied a little extra tug of strength to bring him back around. He staggered at the unexpected pull and glanced down at her in surprise. "I still feel like I could learn things from you."

He gave a soft laugh, more out of irony than humor. "Déjà vu," he murmured. Carefully, he extracted his sleeve from her grip and placed his hand atop her head. "You really were my best pupil. But it's not like that anymore, Sakura…"

The warmth of his hand stroked over her hair, smoothing it and tucking it behind her ear. Sakura clasped his wrist lightly and leaned into the tender gesture, not caring that his smile had disappeared again. He extricated his hand. "Sakura…" he began wearily.

Reach out, withdraw. Reach out, withdraw. It seemed to be a reoccurring pattern with this man. Sakura frowned deeply and clenched her fists against her thighs. "Then what is it like, Kakashi-sensei?" she demanded. "If I'm not your student and you're not my teacher, then what are we?"

It was the only relationship she'd ever known with this man. Already she could see that it had gradually died since the day of her jonin inauguration, but what had replaced it? What was their link now? Sakura was terrified he'd say something dreadful like 'casual acquaintances' or 'colleagues', because they were more than that. A lot more. She'd probably cry if he didn't acknowledge a stronger bond between them, and that would just be plain embarrassing. Blushing was bad enough as it was.

"Me and you…" Kakashi began hesitantly. "We're-"

"I'm not interrupting anything am I?" a bored voice rang out.

Kakashi remained perfectly calm, but Sakura turned sharply and immediately sank into a defensive stance the moment she spotted the rather unwelcome sight of Matsura Jin standing at the edge of the clearing. He clearly hadn't changed or washed since they'd last seen him, as his sleeves were still a little singed and there was a considerable amount of old blood staining his front.

"Hey, Jin-san," Kakashi called pleasantly over Sakura's silently bristling stance. "How's your dad?"

"Alright, thank you for asking, Kakashi-san." Jin wandered forward a few steps. "Of course, he would be doing better if he had something to piss out of."

Three eyes turned accusingly on Sakura.

"Uh… how much did you cut off again, Sakura-chan?" Kakashi asked pleasantly.

Sakura huffed. "Well, I'm sorry if my aim was a little off, I was being strangled at the time!"

The distinctive sound of a face hitting a palm echoed behind her, but Jin just shrugged apathetically. "Understandable, I suppose," he sighed. "But I'm not here for revenge, if that's what you're thinking. You can lower your fists."

"Can," Sakura agreed, "Won't."

"I'm just here for the vase," Jin said shortly, looking between them. "Which one of you has it?"

Sakura pointed at Kakashi. Kakashi pointed at Sakura.

Jin's cheek twitched. "Which one of you really has it?"

"She has it," Kakashi said lightly, though Sakura knew for a fact that the vase in question was hiding in his pocket, disguised as a bookmark for Icha Icha Chaos. "But she won't give it up willingly. You'll have to beat her into submission first."

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura hissed.

He just shrugged at her.

"I'd rather you just hand it over," Jin told her. "I don't wish to fight. It's very… troublesome."

He would get on wonderfully with Shikamaru.

"That, and you don't like hitting women," Kakashi injected conversationally. "I saw the way you pulled your attack when Sakura jumped in the way. You didn't seem to care about hitting your own henchmen though. Contrary to what your father believes, you don't want to hurt a girl."

Sakura's eyes narrowed incredulously as Jin tipped his head indifferently. "It's not something to be proud of, picking on the weaker sex."

"Weaker…?" Sakura's mouth dropped open in disbelief. Jin may not have shared his father's penchant for bullying women, but he clearly shared the view that they were too weak to be proper opponents. That was just as chauvinistic in Sakura's book. But once again, it was Kakashi's hand on her shoulder that warned her not to take it too personally.

"Why are you so desperate to get it back, Jin-san?" he asked. "It's just a bit of pottery."

"We have a buyer who intends to take it off our hands next month for a considerable price," Jin told him, even though his eyes were on Sakura. "Why are you so desperate to steal it?"

"The owner of the pot wants it back, also for a considerable price," Kakashi answered. "If we just give it back to you now, me and poor Sakura-chan will go home empty-handed and have to survive another week on whatever we can scrape off the sides of our fridge."

"My heart bleeds," Jin deadpanned.

"But if you let us take it back, we'll get paid and leave you alone," Kakashi began. "The pot will got back with the original owner and you're free to steal it back whenever you want, so you can get paid too. Win, win. No one loses."

Apart from the guy who actually owned the pot, of course. Though Sakura didn't mention this.

Jin looked reluctant. "I'd rather have it now, Kakashi-san. It would be less trouble to fight you both now than wait around and infiltrate that man's guarded house again."

"Mm," Kakashi hummed. "That's what you think. To be fair, Jin-san, I wasn't really putting my all into our little scuffle back there. I was trying to get past you rather than fight you, and I admit my mind was a little preoccupied."

Sakura shuffled her feet guiltily.

"And don't take this girl too lightly either," he went on, touching her shoulder again. "She's one of the most talented in her generation, and I think your father can vouch for how brutal her techniques can be."

Oh great, here came another blush…

"You may be a match for me," Kakashi said firmly. "But not for both of us."

"And I daresay you've already copied some of my own jutsu and figured out my weaknesses," Jin said bleakly.

"Of course!" Kakashi said brightly. "You won't catch me twice with that exploding clone thing. And I've noticed you have a slight weakness in the patella tendon of your left leg. Give me ten seconds and I could make that a whole lot worse for you."

"Don't be ridiculous," Jin droned. "No one could-"

"Alright, fifteen seconds. Care to time me?" Kakashi took out the parrying kunai from his hip and began flipping it over repeatedly in his palm. "Sakura-chan here can heal you up if things get nasty."

"Speak for yourself," Sakura retorted sharply. She still couldn't quite forgive this man for being that guy's son.

"I'm simply here for the vase," Jin reiterated, squaring his shoulders. "I don't want to have to fight you both, but I will if-"

Kakashi tapped her once on the shoulder. "Do it, Sakura."

It was going to hurt her already abused muscles like hell, but she didn't disobey orders. With a sharp cry and a sudden release of chakra, she ploughed her fist into the ground. The earth was damp, but it still split deliciously away from her hand and swallowed Jin's foot before he even had a chance to register the strange attack. He'd obviously never seen anything quite like it.

Kakashi used the momentary confusion to slip around the man's back, nothing but a blue of movement. Jin wasn't quite disorientated enough to miss it, and he started to raise his arm to block the incoming blow… and left himself wide open to Sakura's quick punch to his kidney. It wasn't damaging enough to fell him, but distracted him enough from the hard kick Kakashi delivered to his left leg. He was down in seconds.

He wasn't anywhere near as physically strong as his father, and Sakura had an easy time of holding his arms down as Kakashi sat on his ankles, twirling his kunai again the very weak spot he'd kicked above Jin's left knee. "So," Kakashi looked benignly at Sakura. "How long was that?"

"About six seconds," she grinned back.

"Cool."

"Very embarrassing…" Jin muttered with a sigh.

Slowly, Kakashi stood up, gesturing for Sakura to do the same. She did so a little reluctantly.

"We've no reason to fight you and you're obviously tired," Kakashi explained. "Unless you insist, of course. We just want to go home and get our money. If you want to steal the vase back after that, feel free; we won't care."

Jin got to his feet carefully, favoring his right leg. "And I don't really care one way or another what happens to that thing," he said bluntly. "It's what my father wants, and what my father wants he usually gets." He looked significantly at Sakura when he said this, but she didn't get his drift. "He won't let this matter rest, I warn you now."

"Thanks for that," Kakashi frowned slightly.

Jin grunted and shook the mud off his previously swallowed foot. "Well, have a safe journey, Kakashi-san. Miss."

As he passed Kakashi, he sent him a sideways glance. "You know, you're quite good looking. You should wear your mask less often."

Kakashi looked at him as if he'd just dribbled all over his shirt.

Sakura waited until she was fairly sure he was gone from earshot before speaking up. "I don't think he likes me," she said glumly.

"Castrating someone's father tends to give you a bad rep, I find." Kakashi put away the parrying kunai and rolled his shoulders until they clicked.

Sakura watched him worriedly. "He's right, you know."

"What?" He glanced at her. "About me being good-looking? Well, I could have told you-"

"No – I meant about Matsura. He's going to come after me, isn't he? To take revenge." Distractedly she began rubbing at her aching muscles.

"All the more reason to hurry home," said Kakashi, frowning at the way she rubbed her arms. He moved closer, reaching out as if to take her by the shoulder before seeming to stop himself. "Are you ok?" he asked with forced lightness. "Perhaps I shouldn't have asked you to…?"

"No," Sakura suddenly laughed, dropping her hands in an attempt to throw off his concern. "It was fine. In fact, they feel a little better for the work out," she lied.

He nodded, probably seeing right through her. "I see," he said skeptically, but he still smiled. "We make a good team. Your kidney-punch was timed really well."

"Oh, thanks," she gushed, flattered. "And your kick was aimed perfectly."

There was that daft grin back on his face. The sight of it alone made her want to kiss it away… but that was one of those weird, forbidden thoughts that she had to banish into the back of her mind. She instantly began looking around for his mask before she was assaulted by any more of those kinds of ideas. When she passed it to him, he gave her a grateful smile that disappeared beneath the shirt he tied behind his head.

Summoning her courage, Sakura cleared her throat. "You never finished what you were going to say."

"Huh?" He blinked at her, one eye hooded and almost sleepy-looking.

"About what we… um… never mind."

The moment had passed, her courage was spent and she was just glad he seemed to have forgotten about what had happened last night. No more guilty silences.

"Let's just go home, ok?" Kakashi suggested kindly. But she could clearly his true meaning of, "Let's just not talk about it."

She nodded, torn between relief and the need to find the answer to a question she wasn't even sure how to ask.

Why did some things have to be so needlessly complicated?

It was still quiet for the remainder of the journey, although it didn't have the same stifling quality as the one before. Sakura kept anxiously glancing over her shoulder, half expecting either Jin or Matsura to be charging towards her with an outstretched sword.

Something else strange was going on too. The closer they got to Konoha and every time Sakura spotted a familiar landmark that signified each closing mile, the heavier her feet became. She was quite conscious of the way she was slowing down, and how Kakashi kept throwing her questioning looks, even though he carefully kept pace with her. Maybe he thought that her aches and pains were making her stiff again? Maybe he knew that the moment they arrived home, it was unlikely that they'd see each other for a while.

There would be the debriefing tomorrow, but once that was done, what reason did they have to hang out together? Really, the only way she'd get to spend a decent amount of time with him again would be if they happened to be assigned another joint mission. But that was unlikely. The only reason they were even together on this one was because half the resident ninjas were already occupied with other missions. The chances of this kind of opportunity cropping up again had to be a hundred to one…

And the moment the high red walls and tall gates of Konoha strayed into view from around the edge of the tree line, something snapped within her chest and she stopped dead. "Wait, Kakashi-sensei."

He stopped and looked at her over the top of his book. "Something the matter?"

"No," she said quietly, shaking her head. "It's just… um… I wanted to say thank you."

"For?" he prompted.

"For just being there for me on this one," she said, speaking more to the ground than to him. "I'm glad it was you… I don't think I would have been as comfortable with anyone else."

Kakashi seemed speechless for a moment. Then he folded his book shut and gave her a smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. "No problem."

"And um…" God, she could give Hinata a run for her money right then. "Um… I didn't mean what I said earlier about you always treating me like a kid. You don't, and you haven't since I turned fifteen and-"

"Smashed up the ground I was hiding in with your bare fists?" he finished for her. "Yeah, I know."

"And I wasn't really complaining about you taking over and stuff," she went on with difficulty. "I quite like it actually," she said, laughing slightly. "It means I don't have to do the thinking and generally that makes me feel safer."

He nodded slowly, but he didn't share her humor. It was as if he was listening to her tell a story about the gory death of a beloved pet for all the serious and grim fascination he showed. She had a feeling he was listening to a deeper confession she wasn't even aware she was confessing.

Well… there was one thing she felt she needed to get off her chest.

"And, um, about that kiss…"

Although Kakashi didn't move, she could have sworn he'd just thrown himself backward a few feet. There was a sharp intake of breath and suddenly he wasn't actually breathing anymore. He held the air hostage as he waited for her to go on. Sakura toyed with the idea of keeping her mouth shut, just to see how long it took for his face to turn blue.

"Don't feel guilty, ok?" she said with a wry smile and a shrug. "You looked kinda upset when I mentioned it was my first, but I really don't care. I mean, I'd just escaped with my virginity with the skin of my teeth – I wasn't too fussed about losing my kissing virginity at that point. Seemed kind of unimportant by contrast. So… yeah. I hope that's clear, right?"

He released his breath slowly, almost imperceptibly, nodding as he did so. "Mm," he hummed, looking at the gates of Konoha as if he wanted to be over there with the Anbu guards than here with her.

Sakura forced another laugh. "It wasn't that bad anyway," she joked. "I think there can be worse kisses to start off with. I mean, Ino said that her first kiss was kind of like kissing a dog, and since, um… well, I don't know how a dog kisses, but I'm quite sure you weren't kissing like one. When… actually, it might have been a bad kiss, I don't know. Was it a bad kiss?"

She was babbling, she knew it, and probably irritating Kakashi the way she used to irritate Sasuke (and still irritated occasionally). But he just looked at her coolly with a raised eyebrow. "Well, it wasn't really a proper kiss. I don't think it even counts," he told her flatly.

Sakura tried to contain her disappointment and confusion. "Oh…?" She frowned at his chest. "Then what is a proper kiss?"

Kakashi opened his mouth, about to respond when he changed his mind. He fell quiet and thoughtful for a moment before finally answering. "You'll find out one day."

Still disappointed that her first kiss would go unacknowledged, she gave him a humorless smile. "Guess there are some things you can't teach me, huh, sensei?"

He didn't seem quite as amused. With a mild shrug and a upward tilt of his eyebrows, he reached out and slowly ran two fingers down the side of her face. Sakura's breath caught in her throat and she stiffened. The two fingers went of tracing the contours of her cheek and jaw before skipping her throat and stopping just at the top of her vest. Sakura looked down, half expecting him to be tugging the zipper down.

She got her nose flicked for her curiosity.

Kakashi ignored her squeak of indignity and shoved both hands back in his pockets. "Nope," he finally replied, sounding bored. "At least not while you still call me that."

Sakura, still rubbing her abused nose, looked up at him. "What?"

He was already walking away. "I'll see you tomorrow at the debriefing. Don't forget to write up your report."

As she stood there watching him slink off in the direction of the gates, Sakura realized something quite important.

There were times when she thought she could see beneath the thick and confusing veil of obscurity that Kakashi drew over himself as easily as the mask on his face. It probably wasn't something he was even aware of having, which made it even harder to breach. But every now and then, she caught a glimpse of what the man was thinking. Moments when she finally understood him.

These moments were few and far between, and this was not one of them.
TBC