Cooking Ninjutsu Chpt
Cooking Ninjutsu Chpt. 11! Wow I've been working on this, very gradually but sure I did it!
Disclaimer: I own Teras, Katsya, and Nisatsu. Naruto, however, I don't own. That must be so weird seeing this disclaimer to you readers, but whatever!
My little key for writing: Talking, Thinking, acting, My little notes added in. Reason why I do this is because my computer doesn't really like to do the little parentheses and submit them on the web. And I like my computer, so I'm not trashing it. Whatever.
Author/Satan: Bounces up and down on the kitchen counter. We're at our something-eth episode!
Katsya: Yay!
Sakura: Stops munching on Director's head. Yey!
Sasuke: With Katsya pointing a gun at his head sarcastically. Yey…
Teras: BOO YOU SUCK!!
Katsya: Whirls her head around with a severe glare at Teras and blasts him in the head with a bazooka.
Author/Satan: Whatever. But, anyways, we'll be doing an extra-long episode. (If I can handle writing it.) And instead of one of my creations or Kishimoto-kun's creations, I'll be bringing in one of my friends; Duckydoodles! You've seen him in my various stories/shows so far, but I'd like to bring him in and have him make, chocolate cake!
Duckydoodles: Que!
Teras: Stares at Ducky. What. The. Hell?!
Duckydoodles: So, my friend Teras will be making some chocolate cake with me. Hopefully we can avoid Bill Cosby and his wife while we're making this. So to start off, clean your hands.
Author/Satan: Turns his own hands into ashes. I don't even know how I can write this story now!
Katsya: Not shocked in the slightest. Plotholes, probably.
Teras: Gapes at Author/Satan. What the fuck!?
Duckydoodles: Que?!
Sakura: While munching on Director's head. Pardon your French!
Author/Satan: Look at me! I'm Guu from Junguru Wa Itsumo Hare Nochi Guu! (A.N. It's one of my favorite animes. It's about this guy who lives in a jungle with his single mom when a girl comes along. She seems nice and sweet the first day, but then the boy –Hare- sees who she truly is; a cunning, sadistic, magical monster-type-thing! It's insanely funny.)
Regrows his hands.
Sakura: I promptly lost my lunch…
Duckydoodles: You never did that in WoW!
Author/Satan: I had no need to. So next, we get the materials! In a burst of flame, summons some eggs, milk, sugar, chocolate, and flour. We mix the eggs and milk together to make some weird patsy-thing. Then we dunk the chocolate in the flour! Does that.
Duckydoodles: No offense, but I really think that we'll just have a normal episode.
Author/Satan: Face melts from a smile to a frown. SHIT!! Then the Nisatsu part I'll make interesting!!
Nisatsu: Over in somewhere over San Francisco. Oh, fuck no…
Fangirls: In the planes under Nisatsu. NISATSU-KUUUUUUUUN!!
Nisatsu: This is torture enough!
Author/Satan: Suck it up!
Nisatsu: Whimpers.
Teras: Cackles.
Duckydoodles: And now we dump in a goose!
Author/Satan: Why the hell do we need a goose?
Duckydoodles: Because gooses are the enemies of ducks, of course!
Author/Satan: For one thing, that's geese. Not gooses.
Duckydoodles: Whatever.
Author/Satan: Let's just dump this in the oven. Does so. And wait for a few hours.
1.25 hours later…
Author/Satan: Looking like the blond kid in the Banana Phone movie just before the music stops in his head, just with glasses and blue/blonde hair. I'm sick of waiting!! Hurls the oven door across the studio with telepathy, knocking Sakura's food/ the Director's head off.
Sakura: Starts sobbing.
Duckydoodles: Que?!
Author/Satan: Snarls and heaves the nearly-done cake on the eating table. Eat the fucking thing NOW!!
Katsya: Whimpering. The goose's legs are poking out at me!! That's NC-17!!
Author/Satan: Climbs onto the table and glares at Katsya in the eyes. I don't care. Eat it now before I bring in Bill Cosby and his family.
Katsya: Like a little girl crosses her arms. No!
Author/Satan: Smirks. Bad move!
Duckydoodles: Oh, hell, no!!
Bill Cosby and his wife walk in.
Bill Cosby: Well, we have a chocolate cake here! With the chocolate, and the cake, and the creepy goose legs sticking out of the chocolate cake, and the chocolate…
Wife Cosby: (A.N. Like hell I know her name…) Glares at the cake. You're letting them eat chocolate CAAAKE?!
Author/Satan: Run, ducky! RUN! Tears off with Duckydoodles in tow. Also seals the studio behind them.
Wife Cosby: WHY ARE YOU EATING CHOCOLATE CAAAAAAAAAAAKE?! Face, SPLITS! Her skull is revealed as her eyes and mouth start spewing fire. CHOCOLATE CAAAAAKE GOES TO HELL!!
Katsya: Shrinking back in her chair, does not like seeing fury by the way. We are in Hell…
Wife Cosby Monster-type-thing: Head starts spinning around spewing fire all over the place and she mangles the chocolate/goose cake. CHOCOLATE CAAAKE DIES!!
Camera breaks.
Two weeks later…
Newspaper: We have the new Hell's Kitchen! Author/Satan brings in Bill Cosby's wife, who promptly burns the place to the ground! We are sorry to say, the show is now closed for good.
Everyone who was ever a guest in Cooking Ninjutsu: YES!!
Nisatsu: Let's kill these fangirls first!
Fangirls: Nisatsu-kun?! Pouting puppy faces.
Nisatsu: Not looking launches a massive fireball at them, incinerating them all. Well, let's get on with our daily lives now!
End of Story!
Author Notes: I just entirely ran out of ideas on this one, but now to work on Final Mission! If I get enough reviews, I'll probably whip out some weird spin-off to this which will turn into the second Cooking Ninjutsu. But until then, it's into more of my characters!