Getting close to the end now! Two or three more, which I'm still working on.

Chapter Ten: Rise and Fall

Minelli had been pissed. If Jane remembered correctly, his exact words had been: 'What the hell? I thought I told her to be back here today! Instead, she gets herself shot!'

And underneath that, a note of concern. Minelli had gruffly ordered Jane to tell Lisbon not to be back until she had the doctor's okay. Cho would take care of things until her return. 'I don't need her fainting on the job. Liability.'

Cho had taken care of the office. Jane had taken care of Lisbon.

Lisbon knew that the team had been worried. That first morning, the team had shown up and camped out in her room for a few hours. Van Pelt and Rigsby filled her in on what had happened to Merkowitz, with Jane interjecting comments here and there. Merkowitz was still in the hospital under police supervision, but would heal. Then he would be booked and tried. No one doubted that he would end up back in prison. Lisbon wondered if his sister would be able to help him with his bitterness. She hoped so. She didn't want to go through this again in another seven years.

Cho had been silent—even more so than usual. When conversation lulled, Rigsby stood. "Well, we better get back to the office. See you later, boss."

Van Pelt nodded and stood as well. Jane hopped to his feet, playfully energetic once again. Van Pelt couldn't believe how different he was from the Jane she had seen yesterday standing forlornly in the bank. "I'll walk you two out."

Jane escorted them through the door, leaving Cho with Lisbon. She looked over to her senior agent, meeting his solemn gaze. Cho's expression was deadpan as usual, but she had been working with him longer than anyone and knew that this whole fiasco had shaken him. She always strove to keep up a strong facade in front of her team and yesterday that facade had been spectacularly shattered.

"Glad you're alright, boss."

She smiled, ignoring the way it tugged at her split lip. "Thanks, Cho. From what I hear, you did a great job as 'boss' yourself."

"Yeah, well, I'm not looking for an application or another chance to test that," Cho answered. Lisbon nodded. She didn't need to be Jane to read between the lines. "Brave thing you did."

She looked up in surprise. It wasn't very often that Cho handed out compliments. And she wasn't so sure she deserved this one. She snorted derisively, sarcastically. "Yeah, letting him beat the shit out of me. Really showed off my skills."

He held her gaze. "Fighting back is easy. It's what we're trained to do. Sitting there and taking it for the good of others is not so easy."

Her throat felt tight as she saw the images of those whimpering children clinging to their mother. She herself had been helpless. Her mind's eye saw Merkowitz running for Jane. No matter what Cho said, she still felt as though she could have said something, done something more. Cho walked toward the door.

"I'm not sure I could have done the same and that's why you're the boss."

He was out the door before she could respond. Not that she would have. She stared at the wall ahead, trying not to think. She hadn't noticed the figure in the doorway. He watched her, content to simply fill his vision with her. To just see her breath.

And, after that, he had done the same every night, coming in after she had fallen asleep and leaving before she awoke only to return once more in the morning. The soft in and out of her breathing was more soothing to him than even the faded brown leather couch at the office. Sitting by her bedside, he felt relaxed enough to drift off. Yet he couldn't. Sleep just didn't measure up to being able to see the rise and fall of her chest—proof that she wasn't going anywhere.

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Jane knew Lisbon was frustrated with being stuck in the hospital until they decided to discharge her. Unsurprisingly, she was a much better patient than he. Calm and obedient when it came to the doctors and nurses.

Not so much when it came to him. She complained that he hovered. Two days into it, she had all but ordered him back to his couch at CBI headquarters.

"Go irritate them."

He took great pleasure in telling her that she was on medical leave and since Cho was the acting boss, Jane did not need to heed her orders. She scowled. Well, until she realized that a scowl stretched muscles in her face that were very sore from her beating. Her small groan of pain turned Jane's triumphant grin into a glare, something he only realized once she spoke. Her voice was soft as she reached out with her free hand, grasping his hand gently for a split second before withdrawing. She was never very comfortable with initiating contact between them.

"Hey. It doesn't really hurt that much. Power down on the fierceness, okay?"

He smiled sheepishly and pulled out a coin to show her yet another 'magic' trick. Much to her chagrin. She rolled her eyes and leaned back against her pillows, wondering if it would be an obvious escape to pretend to fall alseep in the next few minutes.

"If you fake sleep right now, Lisbon, I won't eat the peas from your tray anymore," Jane threatened. Lisbon shuddered. She had a nurse who was particularly pressing, insisting that she had to eat everything in order to get back on her feet. Even disgusting canned peas.

"Fine." She reluctantly watched—and, under pressure, participated in—his latest trick. That night as he sat next to her, Jane couldn't divert his thoughts from her expression of pain. He missed her scowl. It was cute—probably one of the reasons he liked to rile her up. She had a wonderful angry face. Actually, she had a wonderful face in general. He gazed at her, noticing that her left brow was remarkably unmarred—a contrast to the rest of her visage. He couldn't resist reaching out and running a gentle finger across it. The feel of her beneath his touch felt good. Felt right. Yes. He was going to touch Lisbon whenever he felt the urge. If the last few days had shown him anything, it was that life was short. Too short to not give in to urges like this.

If he had to make her uncomfortable every once in a while so that he could feel alive, feel her alive, then so be it.

But he noticed something curious over the next week. Just once, Jane had slipped and called her 'Teresa.' Only once, but he had seen her body jerk a bit. She had recovered very quickly, but to Jane it had been like a flare sent flying into the sky. Lisbon presented herself to everyone as a competent, cool agent who had done what needed to be done. End of story.

Except it wasn't. And Jane needed to figure out how to reopen the book so they could really put it to bed. Lisbon was intensely closed off about her personal life. A lot of her life was still a mystery to him. Not by choice (at least, not his), but simply because she was not the type to open herself. Especially to him. Despite their talk on trust, Jane knew that in the heat of the moment, Lisbon trusted him professionally. Trusted him to have her back. But personally...

It wouldn't be easy to get her to talk, but Jane just couldn't seem to let it go. Sure, Lisbon could probably bury it and get on with her life. But Jane couldn't stand the thought of her carrying something of Merkowitz with her.

He wondered if maybe he needed the closure more than she did.

He was certainly a living testimony that closure was hard to come by.