PART 9: WHERE FEARS ARE DISCUSSED
They talked a lot more now, but never about THAT. It was always the elephant in the room, though the elephant was getting smaller by the day. Still, it seemed to Grissom that they SHOULD talk about it. It was the silence, after all, that had once made things go so terribly wrong.
His intentions were good. His approach needed a little work.
"Sara, we need to talk."
She looked up at him sharply, over the dead body between them. "We do?"
"Yes." The autopsy bay was empty, except for they and the dead. It seemed like as good of opportunity as any. But he was taken aback by the look in her eyes.
Don't hurt me, Grissom.
It was as plain to him as if she had said the words aloud. "Sara, you don't have to be afraid of me." It just slipped out.
"Sometimes that's all I have, Griss." He could tell by her reaction to her own statement that it had been equally impulsive.
"Sara..."
Doc Robbins arrived suddenly, startling them both. "Hey, you two. Sorry I'm late. What have we got?"
Later, he found her in her hiding place, a blanket wrapped around her. "It's a little cold to be communing with the concrete," he said conversationally.
She didn't turn around. "You're probably right. It seems I need to find a new hiding place anyway."
"Or maybe you should just stop hiding from me." He was shocked once again by his own boldness, and held his breath as he waited for her response.
She held open one side of the blanket in invitation.
Joining her on the step, he tugged the blanket around his shoulders. He was pressed flush to her side; there was no choice if the small covering was to be at all effective. "Why are you so afraid?" He wasted no time. This was who they were.
"It's complicated."
"You're complicated."
"We're at work."
"We have time."
"I'm not ready to risk letting you hurt me again."
And that was that.
"Oh." What else was there to say? He could promise not to hurt her, but there were no guarantees. Neither of them were very good at all this, by their own admissions. Mistakes would be made. No doubt there would be hurt. But how could he communicate all of this to her and still have there be hope between them?
It turned out it wasn't necessary. It seemed that she already understood.
"But Grissom... when I'm ready, you'll know." With that, she stood and went back inside, leaving him to share his bemused expression with the chain-link fence and the brick wall.
This felt like progress.
END OF PART 9