A/N: First of all, thanks to the readers who are sticking with this story through writer's block and all the delays this story went through the last few weeks. It feels good to back on track.

I also noticed that there are several alerts for this story. I am truly honored. I would be very interesting in hearing why you like the story. It really does help me a lot.

The punctuation and proofing wands for this chapter are shared by both Picklewinkle and Struckatthesky. Ladies I am in your debt once again.

*holds up right hand* And I swear that from this day forward I will stop using the words 'Would you mind….' and just sent the darn things to you when they are ready.

Today's Chapter is brought to you by Daughtry-All These Lives

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it. I just get to play.

Chapter 10

Bella POV

I never made it.

I still didn't understand what happened, but after I came to, I went through the rest of the day in a perpetual haze. I had been really looking forward to spending the afternoon with Alice.

I had gone to the library to do some research for an English paper and after finding what I needed, I went to the table in the corner of the room. I preferred corners; in some ways I considered them a sort of sanctuary for me.

As I started to read I began to feel drowsy and rubbed my eyes. I'll just rest for a few minutes.

**********(break)**************

I woke up in a cold sweat with a scream ready to erupt from my lips. The room was spinning and I felt myself start to tilt. I grabbed the edge of the table with both hands to remain upright.

My heart was pounding and my breath was coming in frantic gasps. I fought to keep myself together. I didn't need another trip to the hospital; who knows when they'd let me out if they thought I was crazy.

It was only a dream. It was only a dream. It was only a dream. I desperately tried to force the waves of terror down. Slowly my breathing returned to normal.

I needed to remember what the nightmare was about. I need to face this. I closed my eyes and focused, having to concentrate pretty deeply. The meadow. Touching him. Kissing him. Edward. I couldn't hold back the delicious shiver I felt.

The images were blurred but still recognizable. They began to whirl across my memory faster and faster and then the darkness entered. I felt emptied as the images faded into an unreadable curtain of mist.

Edward owned my body. He craved my blood. I wanted him to take it. I wanted him to take me. I could almost feel the desire. I loved him and would give him whatever he desired.

Love? How could I love someone who was going to kill me?

I started shaking. It had seemed so real. I was having a war within myself-emotional influences vs. concrete images. My neck was really starting to hurt.

Duh!-That's what you get when you sleep slumped over a desk.

I happened to look up at the clock and realized that if I didn't hurry I would be late for Biology. I wasn't sure how I would handle sitting next to Edward with the nightmare fresh in my mind.

It was only a dream, Bella. It wasn't real.

I shoved the books into my backpack and left the library, avoiding the looks from the library aide. I am sure she thought I had just snuck in for a quick nap.

I walked into class and looked toward my table. When I saw Edward, my heart began to beat faster. I felt a pang fear and, try as I might, it would not be shelved. I was sure he wanted to kill me.

Am I going crazy? Is there something wrong with me? Did my seizure do some damage that they didn't find?

I sat down beside him and slouched into myself. I tried to force myself to look at him. Images from my nightmare began to swirl around my consciousness. Edward asked me a question and I mumbled an answer.

I was afraid. Against my will, tears began to well up and slowly spill over, running down my cheeks. I spent the rest of the class stuck in mental neutral. I was aware of people starting to move around me and realized that class was over.

I could feel Edward was watching me. I felt the intensity of it as sure as if I was looking at him straight in the face. I bent over to grab my backpack and heard him gasp. I turned my head to look at him. He had a look of horror on his face. I got up and rushed out the door.

I so don't need any more drama today. I just want to go home. Alice will understand. She always understands.

I entered the parking lot remembering that I had no ride. Jacob had offered me a ride home earlier so I pulled out my cell to dial his number. It rang twice before he answered.

"Bella? Are you ok?" he asked, almost sounding frightened. I didn't find it odd that he had such concern in his voice. Looking back, I didn't see a lot of things that would have saved me so much heartache.

"Is that offer for a ride still open?" I asked.

"It sure is. When do you want me to show up?"

"Now."

**********(break)************

I had been pacing back and forth on the sidewalk while waiting for Jacob to show up. I jumped when I felt a hand gently touch my shoulder and I whirled around, ready to face the monster. It was Jacob. I punched him in the chest and yelled at him. "Don't do that, Jacob!" He clearly saw that I was more than startled, and apologized.

Get a grip on it Bella! It's just Jacob - remember Jacob? You called him? Hello? Time to breathe. Just breathe.

He offered to carry my backpack for me but I just hugged it to my chest. For the moment, it was my shield. My hoody had also been a shield of sorts; I had gratefully been able to retreat into it for most of the day. We walked in silence to his car and he opened the door for me. I sat down into the seat, relaxed by the woodsy smell that I had already associated with him.

As I brought the seatbelt around my chest, I felt a jolt of pain as it accidentally rubbed across my neck. I hissed and winced. Jacob snapped his head toward me almost like he was searching for something. I assured him that I'd just fallen asleep in the library and had a severe crick in my neck.

We chatted a little more along the drive home, rekindling an acquaintance born of the deep friendship our fathers had. It was like we'd known each other for years…and I guess technically we had.

Jacob smiled a few times as we talked and I thought it was one of the most amazing things I'd ever seen. His whole face smiled with him. In his own way, he was actually quite attractive and I momentarily pictured myself on a date with him.

That lasted a total of 2 seconds because my mind was suddenly filled with images from my childhood of Jacob and I playing in the mud, clad only in our underwear.

Well it was a happy 2 seconds anyway. Maybe I can get over this Edward thing. Alice will help me figure it out.

Then I remembered. I was supposed to meet Alice after school. I was worried that she would think that I had changed my mind and didn't want to be friends with her after all. I felt a strong urge to ask Jacob to turn the car around as we pulled up into my driveway but the desire to run into my house and hide in my room was stronger.

Man, my neck is killing me. I gave myself some crick. A hot shower will fix that.

Jacob turned off the ignition, got out of his side of the car and walked over to my door before I had my seatbelt undone. He opened the door for me, offering his hand. I hesitantly placed mine in his. He pulled me up and out as if I was nothing but a dandelion seed blowing into the wind.

Wow, he's strong. Warm hands. Safe Hands. I could like this-What? What am I thinking?

I blushed at our brief contact. I felt uncomfortable but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I would make sure he knew I wasn't interested in him 'in that way' this weekend. Maybe I should have said something then, because I would regret it later.

He walked me to the front steps and suddenly stopped. I reached the top step expecting to say thanks for the ride and turned to face him.

His face had taken on a very intense look; his head was slightly raised and tilted back. With his eyes closed he was slowly turning in a circle and sniffing. I almost asked him if he was high.

"Jacob, are you alright?"

He turned to face me. His eyes looked different. No longer warm and friendly; rather they were sharp and piercing. He assured me that he was fine and started to walk up to me. He stopped just short of the top step and looked at me. Just looked at me. It was kind of creeping me out and I'd definitely had enough creepiness for one day.

He seemed a bit frustrated about something but I really just wanted to get inside. I thanked him again and turned to unlock the front door and step inside. As I closed the door, I heard him mumble something like: "It has to be her…." but I couldn't be sure. I heard his feet crunching down the walk and then the sound of his car pulling away.

I would have thought that his behavior was a bit bizarre had I not been experiencing my own intense level of weirdness. My neck was really starting to hurt and on both sides. I decided that a shower first was the best option. Charlie was working late this week so I knew I would have plenty of peace and quiet tonight.

I noisily stomped across the floor and up the stairs. I shrugged out of my backpack as I entered my room and it landed with a thud on the floor. I felt no further need to hide, so I tossed my hoody down as well.

My hair was sticking to the back of my neck. I pulled it aside as best I could. I started to lift the edge of my shirt to pull it over my head and stopped as the dresser crossed my vision. I let my shirt fall back across my torso.

I had lost a good deal of the anxiety surrounding it, but had really been too busy to take the next step. I should just do it now and get it over with.

It was at the point of silliness because I had been able to get thing things out of my drawers for some time. It was just when I thought about unblocking my window that the anxiety had reared its ugly head.

I wanted to be able to lie on my bed letting my body soak up whatever sunlight that was available. I placed my hands on one side of the dresser and gently pushed. It wouldn't budge. I shoved harder and it gave an inch. The anxiety was there, but at a subdued level. It would probably be there for a long time, but I would no longer let it run my life.

There were no bursts of the 'Hallelujah Chorus', no angels singing. But I did feel the warmth of the afternoon sun as I cleared the window. Light filled my room and it was a good feeling. I wanted to do a happy dance. Ok, I did a happy dance.

That wasn't so hard after all. I can't believe I waited so long. Girl, you are going to be just fine.

I wouldn't tell Charlie, I'd just let him see it for himself. It would mean that I would have to leave my door open tonight, but this one time I wouldn't mind. It would be another assurance to him that I really was ok.

I peeled out of my shirt and jeans, wincing as the shirt hit the spots that were now burning on each side of my neck. As I let them fall to the floor, my whole body felt sore. .

Great. I'm probably getting one of those 'achy' bugs. I hope I didn't give it to Jacob.

I removed my bra and panties, tossing them next to my clothes. Even though I knew I was alone, I still peeked around the corner out of habit. I had one uncomfortable and embarrassing run in with my dad and did not want a repeat. Ever. Having your dad see you naked when you are 4 is one thing, but at 17 it's a whole new game. And I couldn't help blushing at the memory.

That definitely won't happen again.

I walked across the hall and into the bathroom without turning on the light. I reached out for the cold knobs and turned on the water, impatient for it to warm up. I reached for a towel and set it where I would be able to grab it easily when I was done. I was grateful when the steam started to roll over the top of the shower door. I opened it and stepped inside with an expectant sigh.

I had expected a little pain that would ebb as the heated water eased the ache from my bones. That is not what happened. I cried out in surprise as intense pain that shot through my neck. My hands flew to my neck and I cringed into myself.

I quickly reached out with one hand and cooled the water temperature, it didn't help at all. I could feel the sides of my neck throbbing in time with my heartbeat. I was frightened and shut the water off.

I stepped out on to the rug, not bothering to towel off. I just loosely wrapped it around myself and reached for the light. I was acutely aware of my wet hair clinging to my neck. I switched the light on and carefully moved the offending hair. As I turned to face the mirror to see the cause of my pain, the phone rang.

Thinking it might be Charlie, I hurried into my room and checked the number. Alice. I quickly went over the apologies I was going to make to her and answered it. I heard her near panicked voice. "Bella, is everything ok? Are you alright? I didn't see you after school. Someone said you drove off with Jacob Black." There was a note of disgust in addition to the panic she conveyed.

How did she know Jacob?

I had momentarily forgotten that in a small town everyone knows everyone else in one form or another. I sincerely hoped she didn't think I'd ditched her for him.

"I'm fine, Alice. I had a panic attack and Jacob was the only one who could come and get me." I tried to sound convincing. I don't think she believed me.

"You're sure you're okay?" she asked a bit suspiciously.

I sighed. "Yes, Alice, I'm fine. Really. And I'm sorry about today. I really do miss you. I feel really crappy right now and just want to crawl into bed and sleep for a thousand years or so."

I heard her chuckle. "Alright, Bella, I'm sorry. I just overreact sometimes and I worried so much we'd never get you back." She still sounded skeptical, but I didn't begrudge her that.

We?

"Who's 'we' Alice?" I asked.

She almost too quickly replied "Charlie and I, silly." For some reason I had the feeling she wasn't quite telling the truth. My neck started throbbing again and I needed to get back to my examination. "Alice can we please do this tomorrow? I really need to crash."

"Do you want me to bring you anything?" And with those words, I lost the war. She just wouldn't give up unless she was 'mother hen-ing' me. I sighed. Who could stay mad at Alice?

"Ok, Alice, I get it. You won't be happy until you see me with your own two eyes that I am here by myself and didn't blow you off for a hot guy" I laughed. At least she hadn't immediately started trying to push new adventures in shopping on me yet.

She said with great conviction, "Jacob Black is not even remotely hot."

I tried to be serious. "Alice, just come over. I've told you a million times where the key is. And if the key wasn't there, you'd just climb in my window." I thought I heard her make a quiet gasp.

"Bella, I'll be there in a half hour, ok?" Then the phone clicked and she was gone. On one hand, it was really good to know that she wanted to reconnect. But on the other I felt like crap going through a shredder. I could always hope that some of her ever surging energy would overflow on to me.

I was careful getting dressed. I grabbed my comfy sweats and t shirt. The wooden floor was warm, having retained a bit of the sun's brief appearance. I stood still and soaked it in for a minute. Then the throbbing started in. It felt like hands had wrapped themselves around my throat.

I walked to the bathroom and turned on the light. I grabbed my hair and pulled it off my neck, not sure of what I expected to see. My gaze was frozen on the reflected image in the mirror.

This can't be happening...This can't freaking be real! This can't be real!

My legs grew weak. I couldn't hold them back. The images flew at me with an unstoppable force. I felt myself whimper as they assaulted me. I was going down. Again.

Am I going to make it back? Do I really care?

Shattered glass from my broken window. Edward's touch. Emptiness. Desire. Hate. The shadowed lover. Suddenly it all connected and became frighteningly clear. Edward was the lover. The lover from all of my dreams. My lover. My mind was spinning. When I saw the image of Edward's hands around my throat my mind had reached critical mass.

Maybe it's better this way…

My eyes rolled back into my head, and as I fell, the last image imprinted on my brain was that of Edward's blood soaked lips sneering at me. The last sound I heard was Alice screaming my name.

Story Notes:

Well, seems we're cranking back up again, no? What do you think is ultimately happening? I would love to hear your ideas.

I also now know why authors are always asking for reviews. Motivation is one. I would have written this story anyway, but I got this chapter done in one sitting after a great review. So I now can add myself to the list, lol.

Reviews are encouragement for faster updates-I will be much more motivated. So please review and let me know how I am doing!