"How are we doing, ladies?" asked Joker, entering Harleen and Pamela's tent later.
"Fine. How's Mr. Dent doing?" asked Pamela.
"Oh, he's…uh…sedated right now," said Joker. "His face is pretty messed up, and that on top of his fiancee sending him a Dear John has kinda…broken his mind."
"What's a Dear John?" asked Harleen.
"Breakup letter," explained Joker. "It's fairly common – hard for the gals having their guys away for so long. Of course it's also hard for us, being away from the gals for so long, plus being stuck in a warzone day after day, but they don't think about that, buncha self-centered, inconsiderate, heartless…"
"Hey, don't tar all women with the same brush!" interrupted Pamela. "We came over here to cheer you up, after all!"
"And I'm sure it was my Harley girl's idea," said Joker, nodding. "Because she's not like other dames. She's sweet and kind and special."
"Well…it was Harley's idea, but that still doesn't mean you should tar all women with the same brush!" snapped Pamela. "I never broke up with a guy overseas. I broke up with 'em before they left."
"I take it back, Pammie – you're the soul of consideration," retorted Joker, sarcastically.
"I regret coming over here now, if that's what you mean," snapped Pamela. "And I'm sure Harley does too."
"I don't," murmured Harleen. "I mean…that attack was a horrible experience, but…if I hadn't come over here, I never woulda met my true love," she said, smiling at Joker.
"There ya go, that's my special gal!" exclaimed Joker, kissing her cheek. "Always looking on the bright side of life! Every cloud has a silver lining, right, kiddo?"
"What's the silver lining that Mr. Dent has from having his face blown off and his fiancee dumping him?" asked Pamela.
"Well…it gives him the opportunity to find a new dame," said Joker, slowly. "A better dame. One who enjoys looking at permanently scarred and damaged flesh, and one who might actually be turned on by it. I'm sure someone somewhere has that kinda fetish…"
"Mr. J's right – it's good he found out her true nature sooner rather than later," agreed Harleen, nodding. "Now he can go find a gal worthy of him."
"Which I'm sure will be really easy to do with a disfigured face," sighed Pamela. "I don't know what delusional planet you two live on, but you need to come back down to earth."
"No point – as long as my Harley girl's on the same planet as me, I don't need anything else on earth," retorted Joker, kissing her tenderly.
She giggled. "Ain't he just the most romantic guy in the world, Red?" Harleen sighed.
"Yeah, he talks big," said Pamela, nodding. "I've heard crap like that from a lotta guys in my time. Words don't mean a thing, Harley. You gotta judge a guy from his actions."
"Well, he charged toward a flaming, explosive truck to save me," said Harleen. "I think that's the action of a guy who really cares about me."
"Well, he cares about something," retorted Pamela. "If you blow up, his one chance for it is gone until the war finishes."
"What are you talking about?" asked Harleen.
"J, do you have a dirty book on hand?" asked Pamela. "This is getting really awkward for me."
"Nope, don't use 'em myself," replied Joker. "But Harvey might need one after this – it's probably the only kinda action he's gonna get from now on. Craney might have one – it's the only kinda action he's probably ever gotten. Why?"
"Harley just needs to understand some things about the facts of life," said Pamela.
"Why doncha just tell her?" he asked.
"Why don't you?" she retorted. "You're her boyfriend."
"Why would I tell her when I can show her?" replied Joker with a grin.
"Because she doesn't know what she's consenting to!" snapped Pamela. "And I'm not letting you do anything to her without her consent!"
"Hey, you're not her mother!" snapped Joker. "Or mine! We don't need your permission to do anything! We're two grown, consenting adults!"
"I just told you, Harley doesn't know what she's consenting to!" snapped Pamela.
"Red, whatever it is, I trust Mr. J," said Harleen. "He loves me, and he wouldn't do anything that would hurt me."
"Well…it might hurt a little at first, but it'll pass fairly quickly," said Joker. "I mean, you can't have pleasure without a little bit of pain first – that's one of my facts of life!" he chuckled.
"I suppose…no pain, no gain, as the saying goes," said Harleen, slowly.
"I've got a better saying for you, Harl," snapped Pamela. "Insane, homicidal clowns are not good boyfriend material, and you shouldn't do anything this one says!"
"Red, can you leave us alone to talk, please?" asked Harleen.
"No!" snapped Pamela. "I'm not leaving you alone with him again, now that I know what his true intentions are! Now get out of our tent!"
"Red, please…" began Harleen.
"No, no, I'll go," said Joker. "Don't wanna start a fight between you both, at least, not without inviting the other guys to watch it!" he chuckled. "I'll see you around, toots. Ok if I hug and kiss my girlfriend goodnight, Pammie?"
"Fine, but make it quick," snapped Pamela. "And no wandering hands!"
"Y'know, Pammie, I think you might be more comfortable joining the side of the enemy too," muttered Joker. "They like telling people what to do and repressing fun as well."
He embraced Harleen, kissing her cheek and whispering, "Meet me at the edge of the forest in an hour, after the Weed Lady's gone to sleep. Then at least we can see each other without some overprotective plant harpy breathing down our necks, and I might even have a little surprise for you."
Harleen nodded slightly, and kissed him tenderly on the lips. "I'll be there, I promise," she whispered. "Night, Mr. J," she said, as he left them.
Unfortunately, Joker had vastly overestimated the time it took Pamela to drop off to sleep – after the excitement of the day, she was asleep the moment her head hit the pillow, about half an hour later. Harleen decided to head out early, since she had nothing better to do, and if she hung around her own tent, she might wake up Pamela again.
She had just reached the edge of the forest when she suddenly saw a dark shape vanish into the woods. "Mr. J?" she called. "Is that you?"
There was no response. Harleen remembered that she was early – maybe that was Mr. J setting up the surprise for her in the forest. It couldn't hurt to check anyway – even if that wasn't him, he'd be here soon.
She tentatively stepped into the woods, and instantly felt her heart begin to pound in fear, as even a few steps in made the forest feel like it was closing in on her. "This must be why all the German fairytales have unpleasant stories about kids getting lost in woods," she whispered to herself. "And wolves lurking in woods, and witches' houses, and…"
She heard a rustle off to her left. "Mr. J?" she called again, but it came out as no more than a squeak. The rustle came from a figure which she caught a glimpse of just as it disappeared off into the trees– a man in a bat costume.
Whoever it was, it wasn't Mr. J, she thought, turning to head back to camp. And it was creepy being out here alone with freaks in costumes. She wanted to get back to the lights of the camp as soon as possible, and into the safe, warm, comforting arms of her Mr. J…
But as she looked around, the dense, dark forest seemed to surround her completely. She couldn't tell which way was back, and her heart-rate increased as her fear mounted. "Mr. J!" she tried shouting, but she only managed a whisper.
"Think, Harley," she whispered to herself. "You can't have gone far – there's gotta be some way to navigate in the dark. Maybe by the stars?"
She glanced up, but no sky was visible through the impenetrable canopy of trees. "Just don't panic," she whispered, trying to calm herself. "You're not that far from camp – if you manage to shout for help, Mr. J will find you."
She nodded and took a deep breath. "Mr. J!" she called, the cry loud enough to startle a surrounding owl. "There you go – good job," she whispered to herself encouragingly. "Now give it a few moments and shout again. He's sure to hear you and come find you eventually. Nothing to worry about. Nothing at all."
She heard someone heading through the forest toward her. "See? There he is now," she whispered. "Mr. J, thank God! I was just about to start…panicking…"
She trailed off in horror as the person who stepped out of the trees revealed himself, and it wasn't the Joker. It was another soldier in a uniform. A Nazi uniform.
He had a gun pointed at her, and Harleen was paralyzed from terror.
"Was ist das?" called another voice, as another man emerged from the trees. "Hast du den Fledermausmann gefunden?"
"Nein, es ist eine Frau," replied the first man, looking at Harleen suspiciously as he held his gun on her. "Amerikanisch oder Britisch. Was sollen wir mit ihr zu tun?"
Harleen had no idea what they were saying, but she didn't need to – the butt of the gun being slammed against her knees and knocking her to the ground said more than words ever could. She felt one of the men tying her arms behind her back. The other had his hand clapped over her mouth, and before she realized what was happening, found herself tossed over the shoulder of one of the Nazis. Her screams and struggles were useless as she was carried off, further and further into the all consuming darkness of the forest.