Here is the final chapter of this story. Thank you to all who stayed with me on this journey that began a mere week ago. This was written after I watched The Force Awakens so hope its ok! I don't own the characters.
Its been a few years since I joined Snoke and learnt the ways of the Dark Side. Being the spiritual representative of the First Order, I was treated with both fear and respect since I wielded something that could bring the death of everyone aboard Starkiller base if they dared to mess with my temper, which had become my trademark of having people stay far away from me.
This time I had a mission to attend to. As I sat on the ship moving towards the planet Jakku, I thought of the person I was about to face. The man was a friend to my mother for years and I remembered seeing him sometimes on holo communications as a child. I wondered how my mother would feel if I slayed her friend. Not like it mattered to me anyway.
I always felt the pull of the light. No matter how much I tried to shun it, it always creeps into my heart, whispering things that wring guilt into my soul. I was torn, not knowing where I belonged. I committed so many crimes that I would never be forgiven if I turned to the side of the Light but the Dark side only exists to exploit me for its own uses as it always did. I had nowhere to return to. No home. No family. No one.
As I rained hell onto the small settlement on Jakku, my eyes fell onto the Stormtrooper FN 2187, who stood staring at the carnage around him. Strange for a stormtrooper to be frightened of a battle. He should have been used to all of this by now. The pilot Poe Dameron of the Resistance on the other hand ticked me off as he was hauled off to the ship. When I gave the order to execute every person in the village, I didn't feel a thing. Why, I don't know. Maybe because I never had any feelings towards anyone whom I felt could backstab me at any moment. Any ally of the Resistance was my enemy.
As I ripped through the pilot's mind, I could sense something working beneath the ship on the planet of Jakku. Something was awakening, something powerful that has been slumbering for so long. What it was, I couldn't fathom. When Supreme Leader Snoke summoned me to his throne, I couldn't imagine why would a mere scavenger be so important to my progress as a Sith.
When I finally came face to face with her, I couldn't help but think that I have met her somewhere. Her resilience made my lip curl as I dug through her mind, seaving through whatever lay beneath that she wished to block out. While I enjoyed the torture, I felt pity for her. Abandoned by her parents for money to drink, having to spend years yearning for their return when no one would, she was almost like me.
She was so pure, so untainted unlike me. She always searched for the truth and trusted in others. No, she wasn't like me. I cannot be as pure as she is. She hasn't committed all the crimes I have done. She lived a pitiful life as scavenger until FN 2187 dragged her into this bloody war. But why does she pull towards me? What was in this girl that made my mind turn? This woman Rey amuses me.
Even as I tried to break her, she nearly succeeded in breaking me instead. She tore words through me like a knife, telling me what I didn't want to hear. Yes, I was afraid of what might happen in the future. What the future held for me if I ever failed Snoke. She could even tell I would never be as strong as my grandfather, who was the very reason I was chosen to be Snoke's apprentice. Not because of my talents, but of the blood that ran through my veins.
When she disappeared from the room, I wanted to laugh out loud at having been stupid enough to leave a Stormtrooper with a girl whom Snoke deemed will be a challenge even to me. After I had my fill of wrecking the room apart, I searched the vicinity for her before an old presence entered. I didn't know whether to be shocked or to be happy. The presence of Han Solo filled my mind as I searched for him.
I told the troops to spread out, giving me a clear path to deal with this anomaly. I could have chuckled to myself as I saw how perfect this stage would be for the final act. This was were I would fully turn to the dark side and cast all of my doubts into the chasm below me. This was where I would kill Han Solo.
But even so, he begged for me to come home. The hope in his eyes made me sick as I thought how he didn't even bother to contact me all those years when I was training with Uncle Luke. I wanted to scream at him, ask him why did he chose to abandon his own son. Was I really not worth saving? As the words spilled from my mouth, even though they weren't meant to be true, I felt myself pour out all my pain and sorrow to him.
"I am being torn apart," I whispered, my heart breaking as the moment drew closer. I had to do this. I had no choice. If I didn't do it, Snoke will see me as a failure. As I handed my lightsaber to the man who was my father, I stared deep into his eyes, seeing how much he trusted a monster. "Thank you,' I whispered as I ran the blade through him, letting him stare at the son who betrayed him. Even then, he tried to bring me back to the light, his eyes filled with both hope and sadness as he fell into the abyss below.
I couldn't describe my feelings then. I wasn't filled with a feeling of completion as I thought I would have. I didn't feel sadness either. Was it due to be not being close to him? Or was it because I had long ago given up any hope on trusting my own parents? I could feel him die, his spirit disappearing from the Force. I knew my mum could feel it too. So did Rey.
Fighting with them on the icy forest plains of the planet made my blood rush. After being injured by Chewie, I was more than ready to trash up the traitor who threw everything into chaos in the fist place. My heart sank a little when I had to put out Rey but I never felt more pleasure at slicing up FN 2187. To think Rey trusted him more than me, it made me sick. I wanted her for myself. I needed her. She understood me. No one had ever tried to talk back to me.
As she faced me off with her lightsaber, I slashed at her, trying not to be taken in by how beautiful her movements were. Mine were so clumsy compared to hers, not polished to a shine but still deadly enough to make me stumble. As the planet crumble beneath us, evidence that the plan had failed, I shouted for her to join me. This brought me back to when Don was still alive when I begged him to come to my side so I could spare his life. This time was different. I wouldn't forgive myself if I had to kill her. I didn't want to take away this bright light from the galaxy.
Yet she resisted me, sending me stumbling back and hacking away at me. I slowly felt pieces of my armour chip away and as I lay cowering at my feet, I reveal the face I have never revealed to anyone for so long. I lay there as Ben Solo, the boy who was seduced to the dark side because no one loved him. Before I could say anything, we were separated, the planet crumbling beneath us at full speed. As she disappeared into the woods, I felt my energy drain away as my mind faded.
I dreamed of myself standing at the platform overlooking the First Order. Snoke was gone and I was now the Supreme Leader. The troops rallied on my command and everything was just as I planned. I no longer had to wear a mask to hide myself. As I turned to look at my side, Rey stood there, all regal in her dark outfit as she took my hand, steering me onto a path where both of us ruled side by side.
I bucked up from the table, my head spinning slightly as I touched my face. "Stay down, sir. You're being patched up," a medical droid said as I lay back down, letting it reconstruct my scarred face. I could still feel the blade slicing through my flesh, branding me as her property. I couldn't help but grin, thinking of how interesting this new journey was going to be. The hopeless boy and the scavenger meet. We shall see what happens in the future, Rey. I will bring you down and leave you bare for the taking. And I will make sure you come to my side.
To top this story up, there is a bonus chapter so stay tuned!
May the Force be with you all and see you in 2018!