A/N - Apologies for the delay in the update, unfortunately those Sons of Anarchy scumbags in my head have been usurping all my attention. Cheeky things. You tell a character to do one thing and it just does whatever it wants to instead - despicable! Anyway, enjoy!

"Is this really happening?"

Lexi stretched out lazily beside him as Ray constantly and obsessively ran his hand over her flat stomach. He was resting his head on her breasts, looking at her torso as she breathed shallowly, barely moving as he continued to ghost his palm over her. She tapped his head and he paused, turning to look at her but not letting up that soothing movement, not even for a second.

"Apparently," he smiled, nuzzling against her. "You and me, baby makes three."

A baby. The whole idea seemed crazy, he could hardly get his head around it but he wanted to, he longed for it all to just slot into place. Ever since that first moment he had seen Alexia outside of their appointments, he had been consumed with the need to create something with her. He thought it was just a different sort of world, not an actual life, not a child.

"How does this happen, Ray?" she asked timidly. Lexi was trying to keep her head, even if Ray didn't want to acknowledge that this was never going to be easy, she knew the truth of it. He grinned and climbed over her.

"When a man and a woman love each other very much..."

She gave him a playful slap and pushed him off her, curling onto her side as he put his arm around her and pulled her tight to him. "You know what I mean."

Ray hadn't thought about the practicality yet. He didn't want to. If it was his way, he would just walk away. He and Abby were over, they had been for too long. They barely spoke, he was always working and she was always pissed at him when he got in. His kids had their own lives, they were growing older, they weren't dependent on him any more. To Ray, he could just step away, but he knew there were more restrictions than that. His brothers, for one, would never let him abandon his family, not the way he really wanted to.

"Let's run away," he murmured, kissing her cheeks as he traced across to her lips. "Let's go somewhere. The Bahamas. London. Hawaii, I don't fucking care, just anywhere but here. We can have a whole new life."

Lexi smiled dreamily, her finger ghosting across his lip. "And your responsibilities here? Your wife?"

"Don't talk about her," Ray said dismissively but she shook her head.

"This time we really do have to," she murmured. "I never meant to do this to you, Ray. This was never meant to happen, and I was going to just make it all go away-"

"Don't say that." He spoke sharply, he didn't mean to but he didn't even want to hear her say it. "If I'd ever found out, I'd have never forgiven you."

"Maybe you would have been easier to keep away that way," she teased, running her finger over his lips. He laughed. "We're not teenagers, this isn't just a fling. You're married and you want to have a baby with another woman."

"Me and her are over," Ray said firmly. Lexi felt her chest tightening and she looked down at his chest, not wanting to connect with his eyes.

"She loves you."

"And I love you," he murmured, lifting her chin to look at her. "Things change, relationships change."

She smiled sadly. "What if we change?"

"We won't," he assured her. "I'm only just able to be honest with you, Lex, this, what we've got, what we're doing?" He rubbed her stomach again. "This is what I want."

Lexi tilted her head to the side as she looked at him. "Is that it? It just ends? Your relationship, with your family?"

"It's what I need, we need." He kissed her. "Our baby needs."

Ray didn't want to leave. He waited until the last possible moment to get up in the morning to go, all he wanted to do was stay with her, lie with her, get her everything she might possibly need. He had never done it for Abby, he'd never felt the desire to, but things with Lexi were different. He wanted to sit there, through the morning sickness and the cravings and the crabbiness, just because it meant he could spend more time with her.

Eventually she convinced him to leave, assuring him that she would keep him up to date about her movements. She had already cancelled her clients for the next few days, she needed to focus on herself and setting a new routine. Ray begrudgingly dragged his heels as he walked back to the car, saddened by his need to leave, to return to his 'normal 'life with Abby until a time when he could come clean.

As he drove back, he wondered about whether it was time to tell Avy and Lena everything about Lexi. They would need to know, they would be on duty twenty-four seven when he couldn't be there, there was no doubt about that. Maybe he should get an extra member of staff, just to help her out. Pregnancy was never easy, especially when it still had such a degree of secrecy attached to it.

Maybe he should talk to Ezra. He was wise, he knew how to keep his head over the important things. And Lexi was important, Ray was sure of that. Their friendship had been too long and too vital for too many years.

As he parked up in front of the house, he sighed and closed his eyes for a second, gathering his thoughts. He sent Lexi a message, a simple 'I love you' that he knew would make her smile. He got out, and made his way inside.

"Daddy?"

He glanced over to the couch as he heard Bridget call out to him. Dropping his keys on the table, he made his way over to see her looking exhausted, wrapped up in the blankets on the couch. Abby had passed out asleep beside her, looking pale and unwell.

"We tried to call you," Conor called from his place at the island as he shovelled cereal into his mouth. "She's been sick all night. Mom's been throwing up, like, constantly."

Ray sighed as he dropped to his knees on the floor beside them. He pressed his hand against Abby's forehead, she was damp with a cold sweat pouring off her skin. He itched at his neck, a little nervous. She hadn't been this ill since she'd been carrying Conor.

"You should have put her in bed," he said quietly. Bridget shook her head.

"She wouldn't move, she was waiting up for you," she insisted. "Where were you? You didn't answer your phone, Avy said he didn't know where you'd gone."

"I had some work to do," Ray said through gritted teeth, feeling a little guilt pressing on his shoulders. He never meant to ignore one woman for another, he simply thought that Abby just wouldn't need him and Lexi clearly did. "She was throwing up?"

Conor nodded. "It was gross, couldn't make it stop."

"You eat something bad?" Ray asked, looking up over the back of the sofa at his son. Conor shrugged.

"Nothing unusual. Grilled cheese."

Ray felt his heart plummet into his stomach. "She's a bad cook but she ain't that bad." His heart was thumping in his ears in fear, this couldn't be happening, this wasn't an option. Abby just had a virus, that was all it was, that was all it could be... right?

"Uncle Terry came around. Sat with us for a few hours," Bridget chipped in. "Mom could hardly stand up."

Every word filled Ray with even more trepidation. "She must be exhausted, too much shopping or something," he joked, trying to ease up the pressure he was feeling in his head. No, he couldn't deal with this. "Let me take her upstairs."

He got up and pushed his hand beneath Abby's tiny frame. Using the other arm, he scooped up her legs and carried her upstairs to the bedroom. Her head lolled back, she was out of it. Ray swallowed nervously as he kicked the door shut with his heel and lay her down on the comforter, stroking her strawberry blonde hair away from her wet forehead.

"You should sleep it off," he said, more to convince himself that it was just an illness she was suffering. He pulled off his T-shirt and tossed it on the floor as he padded to the bathroom. He needed a shower, he needed to shake off this and work out how he was going to walk away. He stopped to pull off his pants, and frowned as he glanced at the trash can. Leaning over, he dipped his hand into it to pull out a pregnancy test. His expression grew darker as he saw the smiley face on the indicator and the word staring back at him, taunting him, daring him to make the next move.

Pregnant.