A/N: There we have it, the grand finale to season 9! While Monster will be continuing in another book, Devil in Me will continue on here as normal after the hiatus. In the meantime, I'll try to continue the original Rise for all of the background info.
Thank you to everyone who has given endless support on this series; stay tuned this spring/summer for the premiere of season 10!
Like my Facebook page for important updates, promos (which there are two new ones on youtube!), and premiere dates!
xoxo
Kuraki-chan
10: I'm Searching for Something That I Can't Reach.
Gadreel landed on the floor in a heavy heap, Grace and blood spilling everywhere. Sam and Castiel kept a firm grip on Dean who refused to drop the First Blade. Cas looked back at one point and saw Zarya. He had to do a double take when he noticed Remiel's bow in her hands. "Dean!" Sam called to his brother. "Look at me!"
"Zarya," Cas called to the ravenette. "Please drop Remiel's weapon."
"Let it go!" Sam tried to get the blade from Dean's hand. "Let it go!"
She looked up, directly at Dean. Her hands shook a little on the bow, debating whether or not to grab another arrow. He met her eyes and stopped for a moment. He could hear his brother pleading that he dropped the blade and, as much as he'd have wanted to, he found that he couldn't. He realized that Zarya was in pajamas, black sweatpants and a purple tank top that exposed her midriff. Her hair stuck up in places on the top of her head, tired eyes still managing to gleam.
The First Blade slipped from his hand slowly, thudding loudly on the floor through the silence. As he watched the green and blue burn brightly in her eyes, Dean offered a small nod. Her lips quivered, a shaky breath escaped her lips before Zarya slowly lowered the bow, letting one hand drop from it. Her eyes stared forward, filling with tears, as Sam and Cas brought Dean to the basement.
Once they were gone her bare feet padded back to her bedroom. She slammed and locked her door behind her, tossing the bow and quiver onto her bed. She paced around the bedroom frantically, running her hands through her messy hair. Once again she felt as though she was losing grip but it was unlike what Lucifer had made her feel. She longed to talk to Nick, to just blubber to him on the couch. She'd found herself comfortable enough to talk to Dean, probably even Sam since she felt so out of control, but neither of them were options at that moment. She thought of Nick again, her heart aching for her best friend. His face in her memory warped suddenly, reminding her of what Lucifer had taken. Everything started to spin around her when she dropped to the floor unconscious.
Zarya's eyes pried open slowly, warm light hitting them. She realized she was laying on a park bench in the middle of nowhere. She sat up slowly; there was one little girl on the swings. Zarya stood up and cautiously approached the girl. She couldn't have been more than ten years old with long, black hair. Walking around to the front of her, Zarya found that she also had eyes as dark as her hair and a necklace dangling around her stomach because the cord was so long.
The girl smiled sweetly up at her. "Hello, Zarya. It is a pleasure to finally meet you, even if it isn't in person."
"You know who I am," she replied. "Where are we? And who are you?"
"Your body is still safely in Kansas but your mind gave you the opportunity to wander. A sort of astral projection."
"Who are you?"
"I think you've spent quite a bit of time with the Winchesters. Why don't you take a break and swing with me for a bit? I do truly enjoy these things. It's almost like I'm flying." Zarya hesitated before taking the swing beside the girl. She sat and only moved slowly at first. "You have been very brave, Zarya. Braver than all of the other girls."
She looked at the tiny ravenette swinging back and forth at a comfortable speed. There was something about her that was nothing like a child at all. She took a breath before quietly asking, "Are you...are you Remiel?"
She turned her head to look at Zarya with a warm smile. Her long, thick hair swayed around her gracefully with the wind. "Those most close to me could call me Rem. Only one of my brothers that I loved the most dearly could call me Remmy."
Zarya's breath stopped in her chest, her swing stopping entirely. "Everyone thought you were dead."
"Oh, not quite yet. There are only two beings I will allow that satisfaction to. I was weak for some time after my Fall, but I'm just about there again. I finally had enough power to create this vessel for myself."
"Y-you what?"
"I also have the gift of creation. Transfiguration, or Transmutation if you will. It is nothing like what my Father could accomplish, giving the humans such powerful souls and all. I tried to give my vessel the green eyes I envy so badly but unfortunately it seems my black ones are just too strong."
"Why a child though? Was it by choice?"
Remiel nodded. "I admire their innocence and view of the world. It's...pure. I know you must have hundreds more questions but we sadly do not have that kind of time right now, Zarya. I deeply regret all that has befallen Saskia, and the heartache you have had suffered in such a short human span. If my Father wishes to just sit back and watch then He can watch as I soar through His skies and fix His mistakes before saving my brother."
Zarya awoke steadily and realized right away that she was no longer in her locked bedroom; she was in the front seat of the Impala. "Morning, princess," came Crowley in the back seat.
She shrieked a little, looking between the King of Hell and Dean driving. "What the hell is this? What happened?"
"You had passed out on your bedroom floor," Dean told her, not taking his eyes off the road. "I grabbed your bow and quiver and bag too." He glanced over at her, half smirking because she was still barefoot in her pajamas. "Figured you probably wouldn't wanna stay in your pajamas all day."
She snatched up her bag from Crowley's hand in the back and dug through for an outfit. When she had what she needed she started to change, pulling her tank top over her shoulders in the passenger's seat. Crowley chuckled a little in the back seat. "Not much modesty I see."
"Not really, no," she replied curtly, sliding a Nirvana v-neck on. "You boys are the ones in charge of your eyeballs." She whipped off the sweatpants and started to tug on a pair of blue jeans. She knew Dean would peak. She knew most times he peaked. "I believe I recall locking my door and starting to have a mental breakdown before I passed out." She tossed him a sideglance as she slipped on socks and her combat boots.
Dean's lips twitched a little, almost towards a smirk. "I know how to pick a lock."
Zarya half smiled and shook her head. She slid on a navy blue flannel before her leather jacket and caught Crowley's eyes rolling in the mirror. "Bloody hell, is the flannel contagious? What is it with you hunters and your terrible patterns?"
She laughed lightly and looked out the window. "Stick it, Crowley. Not all of us can dress for a fancy funeral everyday." After a couple of minutes of not knowing where they were or what was going on, she looked to Dean. "So what is this? What about Sam and Cas? What happened?"
Genuinely. She didn't even know why she blacked out. Anemia? Lack of sleep or a proper diet? Stress? Or was it more magic and things out of her control? She had been sent to Remiel, but how? Why? Why at that particular moment? Why was she doing half of things she had been?
He whipped into a parking lot for a small diner and she cut her eyes at him. "Think of something to eat instead, Zare. You look like you haven't in weeks."
She grit her teeth and got out of the car without another question. By time she turned back around from shutting the door, Dean was at her side. Looking up at him she wanted nothing more than to grill him, or shoot Crowley and knock Dean out to drive him home. She wasn't stupid, she engraved devil's traps on each of the bullets she used. Loaded with rock salt and greased with holy oil. She'd been pondering a way to melt down an angel blade for the bullets themselves. Zarya knew though that she wasn't going to do a damn thing but follow him into the diner. She also knew the proverbial shit was really hitting the fan when he walked her in with his arm around her shoulders. He was keeping her close; protectively, possessively.
"What can I get you all today?" The waitress asked politely when they sat down.
"Coffee. Black." Dean answered just as Zarya spoke, "Plain bagel, please."
Crowley stared at both of them. "Are you serious? You take this girl's table, her time, you spread out like an overgrown teenager, and for what? What's the tip on a single cup of Joe and a bloody bagel? A dime?"
Dean immediately looked at Zarya. "I told you you need to eat."
She crossed her arms over her chest, looking defiantly back at him. "Says Mr. Eats Twelve Times a Day and Orders a Cup of Coffee."
He let out a defeated sigh and sat back in his seat with his arms over his own chest. "Fine. Double cheeseburger -everything, heavy on the onions."
The waitress looking cautiously to the ravenette. Zarya looked up to her slowly from the menu with a polite smile. "I'll have the bacon mac n cheese with a side of curly fries, please." Once she was gone, the two hunters went back to crossed arms and barely meaningful glares at one another.
Crowley rolled his eyes before looking about the diner. "So this is what you lot do, eh? Crisscross the country, searching for evil, order your nitrates, partake of the local attraction."
"Yep," the two answered virulently.
"You never get tired of the rat race? Never get the urge to just...bugger off and howl at the moon? Never ask yourself, "is this it? Is this all there is?" I kicked human blood, you know."
It was Dean's turn to roll his eyes. "Oh, so you're full-metal douche again. Well, that's fantastic. Would you like a stuffed bear?"
"Just trying to make conversation."
Zarya let out an exhale and shook her head before dumping half a cup's worth of sugar into the coffee that had been brought. "How's Hell, Crowley?" She humored.
"Hell's fine. Hell's like a Swiss watch. Don't worry about hell. Hell's complicated."
"Game of Thrones is complicated," came Dean. "Shower sex - that's complicated. Hell ain't complicated. Your problem ain't hell. It's you."
"Someone's gotta show you how to have sex in a shower then," the ravenette muttered with her chin in her palm as she stirred her coffee.
His attention quickly turned to her. "You wanna say that louder for the class, Zare?"
She smirked, desperately trying not to laugh or snort. "Nope," she strained in her attempt to not laugh. "Not at all."
There was a brief moment of silence in which Crowley looked away from both of them before speaking. "Fair enough," he started slowly. "What's your problem then?" He paused, and before Dean could answer, threw in, "Aside from apparently not knowing the proper technique to shower sex."
Zarya just about choked on the sip of coffee she took. Dean's eyes snapped right to her. She quickly put a hand over her mouth to conceal the grin. "H-hot coffee," she lied. "Very hot. Much burnt." She let a small snort slip through her nose.
Once she settled down and composed herself, he resumed the conversation. "My problem is Metatron. Right now there's nothing. There's no angel smitings, no crazy acts of God, no vermin, hail. If Metatron's making his move on earth, he is taking his sweet-ass time."
She noticed a couple of demons walk in then and stiffened in her seat. "Never fear," Crowley smirked. "Cavalry's here."
The three demons watched a video on a phone for a minute. Zarya looked slowly to Dean who could only give her a shrug. After a minute, Crowley took the phone and motioned for his lackeys to leave. "And?" The two impatiently questioned.
"Apparently... Your angel has gone viral."
Dean grabbed the phone and leaned closer to Zarya so she could watch with him. Crowley didn't notice it at first glance; he had to a double take and ended up staring at them. Dean had put one arm behind her chair and back, the other half on the table to show her the phone. She'd sidled right up to him, leaning gently against the arm around her. His dark eyes looked to the little human Vasile; he could see Lucifer's engravement on her soul right off the bat. Anybody with supernatural eyes probably could. It might as well have been stamped on her bloody forehead for the humans to see. But Crowley could see something swirling behind Lucifer's dark sigil. He, too, could see the second imprint as it started to shimmer beside Dean Winchester.
Oh how Crowley wanted nothing more than to turn meatsuit and flee away from the both of them. Just being within reach of a Vasile made his skin crawl, let alone Lucifer's personal little Vasile. Why not add an imprint from Dean Winchester?
"When was this taken?" Dean questioned as soon as the video ended, yet not moving away from the raven haired Vasile.
The King's eyes darted between the two of them. What a funny way her eyes darkened underneath the same way his did. "A couple of hours ago. Muncie, Indiana."
"What did he whisper in her ear?" Zarya followed up.
"Exactly."
Dean was about to stand just as the waitress returned with their order. Zarya's hand shot out and grabbed his arm, keeping him at her side as she politely asked for the food to go because something came up. Crowley was disgusted for the first portion of the ride, watching the two practically inhale their food in the front seat. Dean had tried to steal a handful of her fries but having to drive offered a handicap. She laughed at his failed attempts before shoving a small handful of fries in his mouth. Crowley literally watched Dean's mark on her soul growing brighter than Lucifer's.
Most of the middle of the ride was filled with a still silence. Dean was starting to get antsy from having to sit and drive thinking of Metatron. Zarya could see it all over his face, the agitation and boredom. She hesitated before deciding to just reach over and grab his free hand on his thigh. She almost withdrew her hand when she felt the indecisive stiffening of his hand beneath hers. Just before she did he reached around and tucked her fingers around his. Crowley's eyes nearly rolled to the back of his skull. That was when the ravenette in the passenger's seat did the thing - she reached out and touched the radio. She heard the song as it started faintly and quickly turned it up, tightening her grip around Dean's only free hand and grinning.
"You're a Rolling Stone boy," she sang quickly, looking up at him. "Never sleep alone boy
Got a million numbers
And they're filling up your phone, boy
I'm off the deep end, sleeping
All night through the weekend
Saying that I love him but
I know I'm gonna leave him
You say that you're no good for me
'Cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve
And I swear I hate you when you leave
I like it anyway…" Her eyes turned slowly to the road ahead as she sang.
"My ghost
Where'd you go?
I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me
My ghost
Where'd you go?
What happened to the soul that you used to be
I'm searching for something that I can't reach
My ghost
Where'd you go?
I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me
My ghost
Where'd you go?
What happened to the soul that you used to be?"
He made sure not to let go of her hand when he shut the radio off. She didn't miss the small smile on his face, though. Zarya didn't sing as often as she knew Nova did, but some songs she could just feel. When they finally rolled up to the RV park, Sam was there waiting for them. Dean saw the immediate frown on her face and gave her hand a squeeze so she'd look at him. "I got this. You two stay here."
He got out of the car to talk to his brother, leaving the Vasile alone with the King of Hell. Zarya could feel his eyes on her from the back seat as if she were some zoo animal. "So what's the deal between the two of you, hm?" He asked at last.
She rolled her eyes. "What are you talking about, Crowley?"
"Well it's quite obvious, isn't it? You can't keep your bloody eyes off him, even this very second." She flushed and quickly looked in literally any other direction. "Not to mention that in his escape he made sure grabbing you was top priority. Was about to break down your bloody door before he picked the damn lock. Sees you unconscious on your floor and just grabs you and goes. Even gave you shotgun. You think that's considered kidnapping, princess?"
"Shove it, Crowley. We've… always been like that. I don't know. He probably wants to make sure I don't fall off the wagon again. Can't say I blame him." She muttered the last part.
Crowley kept his eyes scrutinizingly on her. "Have you ever had an eye exam in your life, princess? Or was I the one hallucinating all the bloody disgusting PDA between the two of you? Including, but not limited to, your lovely serenade, darling."
She whipped around, glaring at him over the seat dangerously even though her cheeks were bright pink. "Listen, whatever sick fantasies you're dreaming up of Dean and I are entirely false and for your own twisted thoughts. I just want to keep Dean safe. We care about each other. He's saved my ass more times than I can count. I owe him a lot."
"I wonder how the archangel who marked you would take to the two of you 'caring' so deeply about one another. Being all over one another."
"We are not all over each other!" She hissed. "And Lucifer's opinion of my relationship with the Winchesters doesn't matter. I shut that door and locked it."
Crowley nearly laughed in her face. "Ah, darling, you'll never be rid of Lucifer. Not you, not ever." He stepped out of the car suddenly, looking at both brothers impatiently. "So what are we all gollywagging on about? Chop-chop." Zarya nearly laughed at the faces they gave him. "Excuse me. I'm not exactly demon minion number three here. As the kids say, I've got mad skills. I'd wish you boys good luck... If I thought it would help." Without another word, the King of Hell vanished.
She saw the brothers walking towards the car and smiled softly. With her hand on the door she heard a fist collide with someone and looked out the windshield with wide eyes as Sam fell limp in Dean's arms. She practically jumped out of the car. "What the hell, Dean!" She yelled, starting to panic.
The elder brother laid Sam across the backseat before looking seriously at the ravenette. "Stay calm and grab your bow. This isn't Sammy's fight."
She walked around the car, still gaping at him. "Are you crazy? We're all in this, Dean."
He put a hand on her shoulder and looked her in the eye. The way the moonlight and street lamps hit them they almost looked like a turquoise. "I can't let Sammy get hurt or worry that he might. I know you can handle yourself beside me, Zare." He didn't even notice at first but his hand moved and cupped her cheek gently. "I need you. If I can trust you as backup. Can I, Zare?"
You son of a bitch, she thought, biting her lip. And I thought Sam had the puppy eyes.
Finally, she gave way to a small nod against his warm hand. She'd buckled under his gaze. Her voice came out barely above a whisper. "You can trust me, Dean."
Sam's only about a mile back, Zarya thought as she looked around the homeless camp. Maybe two. Either he'll make it in time for the fight or we'll be able to handle the fucking scribe of God. No big deal, Zarya. This is just your life now.
She bumped into Dean's back when he stopped suddenly. Someone had come to greet them. "Can I help you?" He asked with a sneer.
"Take it easy, Chief," Dean told him.
"You're Dean Winchester," came a woman.
"Now, how did you know that?"
"He said you were coming." She looked to Zarya questioningly though. "He said nothing about a woman with you though."
"Well, here I am. And there's nothing you can do about her, ain't happening. Where's Metatron?"
"Marv," the first man corrected.
"Sure."
"In there... praying for our forgiveness." The woman answered.
"Forgiveness for what?" The woman's eyes landed on a blood pool on the ground. "Is he, now?"
Dean was sure to keep Zarya at his side as they approached where Metatron would be. He wasn't sure if Metatron knew about the Vasile line, or Zarya's existence. He didn't know she was there by Dean's side so they had that. Something didn't settle right in Zarya's gut and it wasn't the mac and cheese because it had been fantastic. She could feel something awful on the horizon. Something that made her chest ache and the rest of her physically ill. She kept looking up at Dean as if it would be the last time.
Metatron was sitting in a meditation position when they found him. Zarya slid an arrow onto her bow as she held the intake of breath she had. "You can save the humble-pie Jesus routine for somebody who gives a damn." Dean snapped at the scribe.
"The problem with you, Dean, is the cynicism." Metatron started. "Always with the cynicism. But most people-" His eyes landed on Zarya, widening slowly. "Zarya Vasile…" He breathed. "Even I thought you were dead." He realized what it was exactly that she was holding for a bow and stiffened. "With your angelic ancestor's weapon. I'm mildly impressed."
"So you've heard of me," she aimed the arrow at him. "Good for you. Whatever lies you'd like to puke about my apparent family you can keep to yourself. I don't care about them. I'm nothing like them."
"No, you're quite right. Nova Vasile is the one shredding angels' throats. You just stab and slice and shoot, getting all the blood on your hands instead of in your mouth." Dean started to unwrap the package in his hand, revealing the First Blade. He'd never say it out loud, but Metatron was mildly concerned staring down the blade and Remiel's arrows. He knew what they were capable of. He knew Nova's blades were made from two arrows. He also knew Zarya Vasile, being alive, shouldn't be holding Remiel's weapon alongside Dean Winchester. "The First Blade. Nasty piece of work, isn't she? Okay, let's say you win, Dean, and I die. What's the world left with then, hmm? A herd of panty-waisted angels and you? Half out of your mind with lord knows what pumping through those veins? Or your little sidekick who, in case you didn't get the memo, is literally sworn to Remiel and Lucifer. She can deny it all she wants but that dark temptation will turn her, whether it's into fangs or Lucifer's wife."
They both watched the rage flood Dean's face. "Yeah, you see, the only thing you've said that went into my ear was that you die."
The two started going head to head. Dean went in for a stab with the First Blade, but Metatron blocked him and hit him hard in the face. Something dark and wrathful washed over Zarya. She aimd the arrow and let it go into the scribe's thigh without a second thought. As she reached for another arrow he flicked his wrist and sent her flying into a brick wall. Dean came for him again but Metatron did almost the same to him, instead deciding to fling him up in the air and back down on the ground. The First Blade slipped from his hand and towards the archer that wouldn't let go of her bow.
Metatron started hitting Dean repeatedly. Zarya's blood started to boil as she watched, too numb to get up. She was forcing herself to feel again, trying to scream at her arm to reach for another arrow. The rage started to grow stronger and darker which allowed her to will her body to life again. She grabbed another arrow and lined it up while rising to her feet. Her eyes wavered between emerald and black with a brief magenta flash as her head started to spin. The arrow launched dead ahead for the scribe. He snapped his fingers and sent the arrow back at her. She just narrowly dodged it.
Zarya could hear heavy footfalls growing closer. Sam, she thought pleadingly. She looked to Dean. Seeing him bleed made her fiery again. Leaning against the wall, she grabbed a third arrow and lined it up when something caught her eye - the First Blade. It was so close to her. She could see Dean eyeing it and, with her arrow lined up still, she ran forward. She punted the blade as hard as she could to the green eyed Winchester, releasing her bow at the same time. The First Blade landed right in Dean's hand, Zarya's arrow deep in the scribe's side. Metatron let out a cry of sudden pain but Zarya saw the angel blade in his hand.
"Dean!" Sam yelled across the way.
Zarya's eyes widened with horror, dead locked with Dean's. Remiel's bow slipped slowly from her fingers as tears welled in her massive green-blue eyes. She couldn't even hear it clatter to the ground over the sound of Metatron's angel blade piercing Dean's chest. Zarya's heart sped up rapidly in her own chest. The world around her started to spin out of control. Breathing became a difficult feat as the seconds ticked slowly.
As soon as Metatron turned and saw the look on Zarya's face he realized the horrible, horrible mistake he had truly committed. How hadn't he seen it before? Regardless, it was blatantly obvious as her pain began to spiral out of control. There had been a second mark upon Zarya Vasile's soul, one that had rightfully claimed its place instead of being 'meant' to be there. It was a powerful mark, a reciprocated mark. Dean Winchester had left his imprint on her, but she also unknowingly left her own on him as well. And it was likely going to destroy whatever was left of her. He vanished quickly, leaving the siblings and the Vasile. He didn't care to be around for when Zarya lost herself.
Sam ran to Dean first. Zarya was frozen to the ground, her mind starting to crumble. She couldn't even hear Sam's failed attempts at saying they'd save Dean. She couldn't hear anything. She could just barely focus on his green eyes through the blood on his face as the light in them slowly died. He looked at Sam, and then back to Zarya before offering them both a sorrowful smile.
"I'm proud of us."
Zarya watched as the rest of the light in his eyes faded away until there was nothing left. Once the final breath escaped his lips, her knees hit the pavement. Sam looked over to her with tears on his own face as he held his bloody brother. His heart broke more when he realized just how broken she truly looked. He'd never witnessed the most horrifying look of sorrow on her face. She was starting to hyperventilate and lose all control. She took a deep breath at last, still unable to tear her eyes away from Dean, but it hadn't been to calm herself. Instead, she let out the worst noise Sam had ever heard.
Zarya screamed such a foul, terrible, pained wail that filled the city streets. She even cracked a few windows. Everything came crashing down.
Dean Winchester was dead.