Chapter 10

"I know nothing like that is happening to her," said Throttle, as he stared sightlessly into the distance. "And I know that even if it did, she'd be okay, but..."

"The thought still scares you," Bevra finished.

The pensive mouse nodded stiffly and slumped further into the couch. Bevra was sitting in front of him, perched on the edge of the sturdy metal coffee table in the middle of the sitting area. Her young daughter was listening silently in an easy chair behind her, knees curled up to her chest as she fidgeted with the hem of her pale pink skirt. Her expression was as distant as his own.

After he left the hospital he'd meant to teleport straight home...yet here he was. He'd needed to talk to someone first. Someone who understood better than anyone how he was feeling right now. Understood the uncertainty, the worry, the frustration over not knowing.

"But you're right," the scarlet-haired Imeeran told him. "Even if something like that or worse happens to her, she'll be fine. No Imeeran ever died from being pregnant."

With a scoff and a shake of her head, she stood and absently slipped her hands into the pockets of her studded jeans. "Considering how much our bodies screw us over sometimes, we're damn lucky to be able to say that."

Throttle nodded mutely again. He knew all that already. He knew that even if the absolute worst happened and his beloved mate's pregnancy ended in bloody agony, she would survive. Imeerans easily recovered from physical pain no matter how much of it they were in. What worried him most was the much deeper emotional pain they both might end up feeling before this was over. For him, it was still too soon to hope.

From across the quiet home he heard the front door open, followed by distant movement as someone shed their boots and outer clothes. "Try not to let the stress get to you," Bevra told him gently. "And don't forget that the two of you are in this together."

She gave his shoulder a squeeze before leaving the family room. A moment later Throttle heard her and Rimfire speaking in low tones. Astrid got up from her seat and came slowly around the coffee table; her silver eyes were sad as she flashed a tentative smile. "If your baby turns out like me," she asked in a small voice, "will you be really disappointed?"

Throttle felt the corners of his mouth lift. He gave his head a shake. "If our baby turns out to be like you, I'd be thrilled."

Her cheeks turned pink as she shyly ducked her head, and the tips of his antennas tingled with gentle affection before she had her emotions under control again. Smile widening, Throttle got up from the couch as his heart filled with an affection of his own. An affection that ran deeper than he could say, so instead he wordlessly touched his fingertips to Astrid's delicate shoulder, letting his feelings speak for him.

Her shy smile grew, and his antennas tingled again as she reached out and put her arms around him. As she rested her head on his middle he held her in return with as much care as he could, resting a gentle hand on her back as he drew the other over her teal hair. He didn't need to sense her emotions to know that she felt safe. And that she felt loved.

"Don't tell anyone," she whispered, as he continued to stroke her hair, "but I think you're my favorite big brother."

Grinning, Throttle hugged her closer. "And you're my favorite little sister. Always."

It was after hours at Second Chance garage, and that meant only one thing. It was time to kick back, relax...and fight over the remote. Vector wanted to watch local sports. Vector's dad wanted to watch some show that was popular back when he and his buddies were living on planet Earth, which he repeatedly remarked felt weird that it was now considered vintage TV. Vector's mom wanted them to pick something already and shut up so she could finish some paperwork.

Both hyper white rodents completely ignored her irritated command and proceeded to battle it out for control of the remote. While father and son wrestled on the rec room rug like a couple of five-year-olds scuffling in a playground sandbox, Saber calmly settled deeper into the cushions of the leather sofa. Joy cuddled against his side with her head on his shoulder, as indifferent to the pair roughhousing at their feet as he.

She looked extra pretty tonight. She'd known he was coming over after work and looked like she'd taken a long, refreshing soak in the tub before donning a flirty white dress covered in pink flowers and a pair of opaque white tights. She smelled as pretty as she looked, he noted as he lazily rubbed his cheek against her soft hair. Like a subtle mixture of berries and crushed blossoms.

He tightened the arm he had around her waist as he nuzzled her temple, subtly inhaling the sweet fragrance in her red-brown hair. Joy responded by lifting her face, smiling as she tickled the tip of her nose against his. Mindful that her parents were in the room, he kissed her soft cheek, her downy muzzle. Her smile deepened, her eyes glowing with affection as she drew a hand over his hair, playfully twirling the ends with her fingers.

All of a sudden he felt something clamp down on his tail, and before he knew it he had been violently yanked off the sofa to the hard rec room floor. The jarring impact rattled his teeth. Growling, Vector pounced on his chest and tried to wrestle him into a choke-hold. "No macking on my sister," he ordered.

"I didn't hear her complaining," Saber pointed out casually.

He regretted his flippant words a second later as Vinnie elbowed his son out of the way and took over trying to strangle him. Fortunately, the ever competitive half-mouse didn't like anyone butting in and shoved back, and before long the two of them were playfully scuffling again. And even though the pair was practically rolling on top of him, Saber, being an underdweller, was able to sneak cleanly away.

Slipping out a side door, he stood quietly in the empty yard for a few minutes, scattered boxes of discarded parts and other pieces of scrap his only company. As he knew she would, Joy tracked down him a little while later. The quiet of the twilight-kissed yard remained undisturbed as the two of them enjoyed what they knew was a fleeting moment alone together to the fullest.

When they finally broke apart for air, Joy said, "See you tomorrow after work?"

Saber nodded and kissed her cinnamon-colored nose. "My hours are almost filled for this week, so come by early. I'll take you out to dinner."

A romantic evening, just the two of them. Heart warming, he pulled her close again and kissed her deeply before finally letting go. Joy went discreetly back inside, while Saber hung out in the yard for just a little longer before heading for the door. As soon as he stepped across the threshold he was pulled into a headlock, his face pressing uncomfortably close to his best friend's armpit. After a long, sweaty workday, Vector needed a shower.

"You're not getting away that easy," he smirked, as he tugged the sable hybrid back to the rec room.

The next day was business as usual, following the basic routine of rising early, showering before work and being one of the first to clock in. As promised, he was finished for the week and ready to go home by mid-afternoon. While he waited for Joy, Saber stuck around the busy main yard for a few minutes, chatting with several of his fellow workers who were on break along with his boss. "You're dating that little cutie who likes to drop by here, right?" asked a smallish mouse named Pagan.

"Uh-huh," said Saber, with a shy smile.

Grinning, Torque nudged him. "Nice job. She's great."

"She is. She definitely is."

The more time they spent together, the more he came to realize that. Feeling anxious to start their evening out together, he moved to the edge of the yard and kept his eyes on the horizon, waiting for a glimpse of a certain pink-and-white bike.

But it never came - not from that side. Not from the direction of Brimstone City, where Joy usually came to the yard from. He was still waiting when his ears suddenly picked up the familiar sound of Pink Zephyr's engine somewhere at the far end of the yard. Curious, he turned around and hurried southward. He was still a ways off when the engine cut. After that...things got confused in a hurry.

The south end of the rail yard was buzzing. Mice who were supposed to be working were standing around murmuring to each other and exchanging puzzled, worried glances. At the center of everything was Joy, who was stumbling away from Pink Zephyr, out of breath and clearly stricken. She kept pointing to the south and pleading for help.

Saber ran to her and tried to calm her down enough to get an explanation out of her, but it was no use. She was frantic and almost wild with worry and the most he could coax from her was that there had been an attack out by the south ridge. That was enough to spur most of the concerned bystanders into motion...although there was a moment where more than one mouse took a long, wary pause when they realized that they were being asked to help a faction of sand raiders who had been attacked while meeting a small faction of surface rats.

Some raced off anyway. Others hesitated until Joy's begging cries prodded them into motion. Rodents and vehicles rushed out to the ridge, with Joy in the lead and Saber trying to keep pace beside her. Looking back later, the time from when they arrived at the ridge until they moved all the injured they could to Brimstone City was a foggy blur in Saber's mind. He remembered a lot of smoke, the flicker of flames, frightened cries of pain, wails of anguish as survivors mourned the loved ones they just lost.

They did the only thing they could think of and took them all to the hospital. This was the first time since the grand building's construction that beings other than fellow mice and underdweller rats had set a toe inside, and they were met with more hesitation at the door. But it soon gave way as compassion and doctor's instinct took over, and the most severely wounded were rushed off on stretchers while those with lesser injuries were taken to be bandaged up. Saber recognized most of them, having gotten familiar with their faces from the times he joined Joy for an after-dark meeting or a ration delivery.

When everything finally settled down and fell quiet, the two of them sat alone in a waiting room together, neither of them speaking as they clung to the other's hand tightly. Joy was too shaken to talk; Saber tried to comfort her as best he could, soothingly stroking her hair or putting his arm around her from time to time. Her eyes remained fixed on the wall opposite them, the rigidness of her posture not changing until a doctor entered the room. She bolted up and breathlessly asked if everyone was okay.

Saber had only gotten a glimpse of the overall damage, but it was enough that it didn't surprise him when the doctor solemnly read off the names of the ones who were banged up but fine, the ones who were in bad shape but would heal in time...and the ones who didn't make it.

He recognized several of the names on the final list, including little sand raider Bow. When the final name was read and the doctor left with a quiet apology, Joy spun around and collapsed in Saber's arms with sobs that racked her small body. The sable hybrid didn't try to say anything. He just held her as tightly as he could and let her pour it all out, his heart aching right along with hers as she cried. He hadn't known any of them as well as she did, but losing them still hurt. Under different circumstances he would have become friends with many of them - good friends.

"I tried," Joy sobbed as she clung to him, her whole form quivering with emotion. "I tried so hard. They all deserved better than they got and I tried as hard as I could to help them."

All of a sudden Saber found himself remembering something from a long time ago, something that happened when he was still small. He remembered his mother holding Ashlin the same way he was holding Joy now, consoling her as she cried like he had never seen someone cry before. He had been too young to fully understand at the time, but he remembered hearing later what had happened to make his mother's best friend fall apart like that. Her main job back then was taking care of expectant mothers at the hospital and lending a hand in the delivery room. One day something had gone wrong and the small half-rat had battled alongside a group of doctors and nurses for hours to save the life of a mouse and her unborn baby. They all did everything they possibly could but in the end both lives were lost. And Ashlin had gone home and broken down in a way he hadn't seen since.

Hugging Joy close and tight to his chest, Saber found himself echoing the words he heard his mother speak that day. "You can't save all of them."

And strangely, Joy responded with the same words Ashlin said to his mother. "I know. And that's why it hurts so much."

It'd been a long time since all of them got together like this. He, his bros and their spouses, his ex and hers. They were all sitting around at Modo's, absently nibbling on the snacks Ashlin had set out as they discussed the scene at the hospital today. The only one who wasn't in low spirits was baby Horex, who was happily creeping along on his pudgy belly and cooing to himself.

Tamerin would've been here with them, but she'd had another checkup scheduled today and Throttle'd talked her out of canceling. She was almost halfway along now and he wanted to spare her from any stress he could.

Ashlin was shaking her head sadly. "I just wish there was something more we could do."

"Why is it whenever someone else has a problem we're the ones who have to fix it?" Vinnie wanted to know.

"Because we can," said Poison simply.

He spoke in his usual tone: firm and low, with just a hint of underlying danger that made most hesitate before trying to argue with him. But Vinnie never hesitated, least of all over arguing with someone. "What's this 'we' stuff? I don't remember any underdwellers doing much to help out up here."

Carbine shot him a look and started to say something, but her husband quieted her with a broad hand on her arm. The yellow gaze he fixed the bristling white mouse with was calm, yet hard. "It was years before you knew we existed, but even though you never saw us we were there just the same."

Taking his meaning, Vinnie shut his mouth and sank back in his seat. Charley moved closer to him and squeezed his hand. Her tired eyes were apologetic. "He didn't mean it," she said softly. "We're just frustrated right now. Joy's never been this upset."

Throttle nodded silently, his grim expression mirrored by the others. They could imagine what it was like for the poor girl to watch helplessly as her broken friends were rushed off by doctors only to learn it was too late to save them. They could imagine it all too easily.

"I'm just annoyed I didn't spot what was going on with my new birthday toy," Carbine remarked.

"These people have become desert nomads living under threat of attack over what little they have," her husband reminded her. "They're learning how to go unseen when they're on the move."

"I agree with Ashlin," said Charley. "I think we should try to help."

"What else can we do?" asked Vinnie - with a distinct edge in his voice. He hadn't said anything about it yet, but Throttle could tell his longtime friend was upset that his only daughter had been venturing out into dangerous territory without either him or Charley knowing a thing about it. Her heart was in the right place, but she'd no doubt put her own life at risk more than once...although he didn't believe there was a person in this room who had any business telling her not to.

"We already keep water rations outside the city so anyone can get to them," Vinnie went on. "Plus there's the community garden. Just because we're helping keep those guys from going hungry doesn't mean they'll stop preying on each other."

Unfortunately he was right. For twenty years now they'd kept a constant supply of food and water just outside Brimstone so anyone could come and take what they needed. But there were still those who would rather starve than accept help from mice, and there were still those who liked taking whatever they wanted from anyone too weak to stop them. There wasn't anything mice could do that would change that.

They were all unhappy about it, and especially unhappy about what happened today - particularly Ashlin. It was a relief to her to have Horex in the room; his happy baby gibberish helped ease the tension a little, and not just for her. Smiling suddenly, she scooted out of her seat and sat down next to the cheerful ten-month-old. There were toys scattered on the plush rug; she picked up a boxy wooden train and scooted it along on its squeaky wheels, making tooting sounds as she rolled it in front of her son.

Horex ignored the train and instead grabbed a shiny toy motorcycle, which he pushed along with puttering engine noises. Undaunted, Ash continued to play with the train (to her husband's loving amusement) while their adopted son propelled both the bike and himself forward. They eventually bumped into Poison's sizable boot; Horex flashed a puppy grin, rolled out of the way with a playful giggle and crawled on.

Poison watched the little guy for a minute, expression casual...but then he turned and looked at his wife with an odd smirk, one eyebrow arching significantly. Throttle wasn't sure what kind of message he was trying to get across, but Carbine instantly stiffened. "No."

"Please?" the large rat coaxed, his smirk broadening into a grin. "One more?"

"No."

"Come on. Just a small one."

"That's something you of all rodents can't possibly promise," his wife muttered. "Besides, I'm past my prime."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," said Poison, as he casually gripped her slim waist with his large hands and set her on his lap. "You're every bit the goddess you were the day I married you."

While Carbine turned red and socked her husband's shoulder, Throttle watched with equal parts amusement and fascination. Once upon a time seeing his ex getting cozy with someone else made him feel weird, but now it was just funny. Watching how easily the towering rat made the former general blush was highly entertaining.

As Poison nuzzled his wife's rosy cheeks and murmured affectionately in her ear, the tan mouse relaxed in his seat and rested his head on his palm. Conversation had stalled for the time being and he gladly took the opportunity to clear his mind a little. He'd happily call a time out for a round of root beers, but since it didn't seem like they were going to take a break until they came up with a solution he had to be content with allowing his troubled thoughts to relax for a minute. He slowly coaxed everything out of his mind until the only thing left was the faint, ever-present touch of his mate's.

He felt himself start to calm a little, a smile touching his face. He was so used to it sometimes he barely noticed, but the gentle touch was always there, like a pulse beating constantly alongside his own. It gave him a sense of security like nothing else did. A warm cocoon that comforted him no matter what.

And then the whisper-soft sensation ballooned to feelings of agitation, of concern. Surprised, Throttle got up and hurried to the front door. Even before he hit the button to open it, his question about why she was here reached out to his mate. He got his answer before the door finished opening; she wanted to help in any way she could. As she stepped into the cozy home and into his waiting arms, her mood was apologetic in response to his feelings of concern. Yet at the same time she was firm.

"What happened today isn't going to keep until I'm not pregnant," she murmured, cheek pressed to his shoulder. "The effects are going to reach me whether I stay out of it or not."

Throttle didn't argue; she was right. She'd see for herself how devastated Joy was when they met at work tomorrow - if the poor girl could even bring herself to go. And Ashlin, compassionate soul that she was, felt for the ones who'd been lost and the ones mourning them even though she didn't know them, and felt for her colleagues at the hospital who'd fought and failed to save them. She wasn't going to be content until they came up with a plan.

So instead of trying to convince Tam to go home and leave it to them, he put his arm around her and returned to the living room. Vinnie had gotten up to use the bathroom at some point, and Ashlin was sitting next to Modo again, head rested on his arm. She looked tired, but she smiled when she saw Tam. With a smile of her own, the snow-skinned Imeeran bent and scooped Horex up from the rug before perching on the edge of the sofa arm.

"How goes the discussion?" she asked, before nuzzling the baby sand raider's fuzzy muzzle.

"So-so," said Charley, sounding as tired as Ashlin looked. "We all agree that something needs to be done to help the ones who're struggling the hardest. We just can't think of what."

Still smiling, Tamerin said casually, "I bet Ash has an idea."

The petite Martian looked surprised, but she didn't deny it. "There is something I'm thinking about," she murmured.

"Oh?" said Carbine.

"The orphanage," she explained. "I didn't know what was going to happen when I made it clear that it's open to everyone, but it's become a safe haven no matter what's going on out there. Sometimes mothers who've already adopted will stop in to say hi, and to just sit and talk with each other in a place where they know they won't be bothered."

Throttle quickly caught on. "So, you think we should build a place specifically for that purpose?"

Vinnie came back just then; he sat down silently, a frown on his face, as Ashlin nodded. "We're already helping supply others with food and water, but maybe it would do some good to offer shelter to those who need it, and things like bedding and free medical treatment."

The emergency today had been different - no one had time to think - but Throttle knew that there were many out there who'd be scared just to venture into their city, let alone their hospital. Some still loathed mice, while others would be too afraid of the mice that still loathed them. If some were willing to come to an orphanage open to all, then maybe they'd be willing to come seek help and treatment at a shelter that operated the same way. "I think it's a good idea," he murmured.

"Me too," said Carbine, with conviction. "I'll get the plans in motion ASAP."

"Can I ask a stupid question?" said Vinnie.

Modo looked at him, then over at Throttle, the wisecrack obvious - was he capable of asking any other kind? But the look on their bro's face kept both their mouths grimly shut.

"We've already got the community garden. Everybody knows it isn't restricted to our community. What made my daughter think she needed to bring food and water out there?"

The room went quiet again. Smile gone, Tamerin held Horex closer as she gently rocked him. When Charley spoke up, she voiced what Throttle was just thinking. "Most of them don't feel comfortable going to anyone for help," she said quietly. "Others are too easy a target, trying to go that far out in the open."

Throttle had to wonder just how long Joy had been sneaking out into dangerous territory to hand out food and supplies. Judging by the troubled looks on their faces, her parents were wondering the same thing. Sighing, Vinnie put his arm around his wife and pulled her close. "If it means our only daughter will stop doing things that'll make her a target right along with them, let's do this."