Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, therefore I do not own any Twilight characters. Big thanks to my beta, Permanent Rose!

Chapter Dedication: Miss Squirrel, for the helpful advice (:

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

-Hoobastank, The Reason

Reminder: Edward asked Bella out on a date, and then he went to visit Tanya's grave. We don't know how she died, but we know that Edward blames himself and thinks of himself as a monster. At her grave he had a breakdown and told Tanya that this date with Bella doesn't mean life, doesn't mean love. Meanwhile, Bella goes to work. Their date is set at 7 o'clock.

Chapter Ten: Settle

Bella's Point of View

Work flew by, somehow, ridiculously, even though the fear swelling in the pit of my stomach was growing stronger with each passing minute. Every time a minute passed, my mind grew more aware of the approaching hour. Work was easy – dealing with what came after work was slightly more difficult.

"Hello. My name is Bella and I will be your server for this evening," I said softly as I tucked a stray of hair behind my ear. Ten minutes until my shift ended. Ten minutes until I went home to change and get ready for my date. "What can I get for you this evening?"

Date.

Surely that wasn't the term. I was mixing up facts or words. I was over exaggerating as usual, simply letting my mind fill in the blank spaces with ideas that couldn't really exist. Not with Edward. Not with me. Especially not together.

The couple barely acknowledged my presence. They ordered their chicken and fries, and I scampered off to the next table. Seeing them, so obviously in love, amazed and frightened me. They laughed at nothing, brushed their hands together shyly, and smiled constantly. I couldn't help but think of James.

We had been like that once. Before everything went bad. Wrong. Before the innocent love had been to hideously distorted.

After I'd delivered their orders and served my last table, I handed my book to Victoria and let her take over. She hissed at me for sticking her on tables, but other than that she had no argument to avoid her duties as an employee. She sauntered off to the next table, leaving me to find Rosalie and let her know I was leaving.

"What?" she gasped in mock horror. Alice waved to me from her seat in the corner, and Jasper wandered over to me, looking at me with brotherly eyes. Rosalie was still in shock. "No icees tonight? Are you trying to break a tradition?"

I shook my head. Warmth pooled into my cheeks, and I knew that Rosalie would notice the pink hue in a moment, as soon as she was finished with her rant.

"'Rosalie, it's our special tradition!'" she mocked me, a small smile on her lips. "Bella's breaking something she started? What could be so special that you would –"

She looked up at me then, her eyes curious. Jasper hovered behind her, his gaze matching mine. "Unless…"

"Hey, Bella," Jasper interrupted Rosalie. She shot him a look of annoyance but her irritation was only temporary; they'd always been close friends, even if they were opposites. Rosalie was outgoing and Jasper was shy – it was slightly amusing that Alice ended up with him. Alice waved again, almost as if she'd known that I was thinking of her. I grinned and waved back, motioning for her to join us.

"Date!" Rosalie gasped. She looked at me in shock, her hand flying up to cover her mouth. She shook her head in disbelief. "It's the only answer… the last time you cancelled…"

"I didn't cancel," I laughed nervously. "It's not cancelling because they're not appointments. I'm just freeing you up for other opportunities."

Rosalie wasn't fooled. After five minutes of conversing back and forth, I was getting nowhere. An excited smile tugged at Alice's lips, but Jasper looked slightly uneasy. He and I seemed to form one team, while Rosalie and Alice formed another. I resisted the urge to wave a white flag in surrender.

Rosalie glanced at her watch and shot me a pointed glance. "Well, Miss Secret, I have to get back to work." She bit her lip nervously, letting her maternal side come out. "Just be careful, okay?"

Alice intervened then, placing one hand on my shoulder and the other on Rosalie's. Her eyes sparkled.

"I have a feeling she'll be alright, Rose," Alice said. She was practically bouncing on her toes, and Rosalie backed away before Alice exploded from excitement. Begrudgingly, Rosalie pecked my cheek in pardon and headed off toward her next table.

When she was gone, Alice turned on me. Jasper watched, looking slightly confused as she squealed.

"Is it Jacob?" she asked excitedly. I shook my head quickly. Jacob was making it clear that he understood where I was in our relationship. I knew it didn't mean he wasn't looking for more, but for now he was leaving me be. Alice got along with Jacob, but I didn't understand why she would be so excited. Her standpoint on our relationship was similar to mine: friendship only, with a little extra distance.

I soon realized why. She was practically radiating delight.

"Then it's Edward!"

I took a step back, but she was already looking up at Jasper. "I knew it would be him, Jasper! I told you!"

She turned to me and linked her arms through mine. Before I knew what was happening, she was leading me out of the restaurant, chirping happily and leading me towards their car. Jasper followed, watching her with warm eyes.

Everybody was so in love. I wanted to say it made me sick, but it didn't. I was happy for them.

Maybe, one day…

Snap out of it, Bella, I scolded myself. I'd been down that path. It was trampled, worn and tired. My footprints and scars lingered in the dark soil of the steps I'd treaded, but it had all been for nothing. There was no break in the trees like I had suspected before. It was just endless roots, dotting my path, waiting for me to trip over.

I wasn't going to trip anymore, that was for sure.

"Okay, Bella," Alice said as Jasper grasped her hand. It didn't even bother me that I was stuck in the backseat, watching them sitting together. "We're going to take you back and clean you up. You didn't expect to go out wearing that, did you?"

I glanced down. Jeans and a t-shirt. My voice sounded unsure. "No?"

When we pulled up to a stop light, a toddler next to us waved at me. I waved back while Alice rambled. Jasper chuckled in the front seat and shook his head occasionally, but otherwise he didn't say much to either of us.

When we pulled into Edward's driveway, Alice pulled me out eagerly. She leaned over and pecked Jasper on the cheek.

"I'll be back in an hour," he drawled. Alice giggled and nodded, then leaned in for another kiss. I smiled faintly as his car pulled away.

"What time is he picking you up?" she questioned as we walked to the door. Well, I walked. Alice's enthusiasm had her practically flying through the air. I shrugged.

"I think he said seven," I said slowly. She groaned and pulled me inside, shaking her head.

"We only have an hour then!" she cried. Her hand flew to her face as she glanced around, eyes wide. She looked as if somebody had told her something tragic. I groaned internally, but she seemed to read it on my face; her tone of voice was uncannily like my mother's. "Bella, it's important that you look your best."

I knew this of course. I wasn't raised by wild animals, but I knew that she was right. Edward would no doubt look his best, so it was only fitting that I did too.

She danced through my room and sat me in the makeup chair I hated so much. I couldn't tell her that though, so I just closed my eyes and prayed that she would be done with me soon.

Something in my stomach tickled. I squirmed in my chair as Alice searched through my closet. When she was satisfied she skipped over to me and got to work on my hair. Her face was bright while she worked and chirped happily about Jasper.

"How long have you been friends with Jasper?" Alice said as she curled a strand of my hair. I shrugged and picked at my nails.

"Ever since we were little kids. Our moms used to be friends in college, and I guess the friendship stuck. At least for a while."

She nodded in understanding and thoughtfully tapped her chin. Her voice was quiet, as if Jasper were standing in the corner instead of at his house. "Yeah, he told me she died."

I nodded. "His mother was beautiful, really. But it was always funny. They never looked anything alike."

Alice tilted her head curiously and grabbed another strand of hair. She wrapped it around the curler gently before spraying it with hairspray. I waited until the warmth brushed against my neck to speak again. It was hard for me to talk about her, considering she'd been almost as much of a mother to me as my own had been.

"She was so short," I said, smiling, "but she didn't mind. She was always complaining about not being able to reach any of the shelves in her house though. She always had Jasper get everything. She and my mom always thought that Jasper and I would end up married one day, but we were too comfortable as friends. She had this hair… it was so beautiful, but it was wild. It reached down to her back and was almost always twisted into a bun, but when she let it down it was the most beautiful sight you'd ever seen."

Alice looked uncomfortable suddenly and shifted her weight from foot to foot. I tried to look up at her, but she had a fetish with my curls and pushed my head back into place.

"What is it?" I asked. She looked around the room again and sighed.

"What about his dad?"

I shrugged lightly. The day that Jasper's dad had disappeared had been a blow to us all. He had always been so loving to each of us, even if we messed up or yelled or fought. Jasper had worshipped his father. His father had worshipped Jasper. They were a team, inseparable.

I told her this. "Somewhere, the love for his mom just… disappeared. And the next year, the day after Jasper's fifteen birthday, he was just… gone. We never heard from him again."

She sighed and shook her head, but a moment later she was back to her normal self. She smiled and spun me around, looking over my hair. A smile broke out over her face and she clapped her hands before spinning the chair around.

"Rita!" Alice called excitedly. Rita came in a moment later and smiled at Alice. She had grown accustomed to Alice's enthusiastic personality.

"What have we here?" she asked me. Alice clapped her hands again and spun around; she was nearly exploding with giddiness.

"Isn't she beautiful?" she asked her. Rita nodded her head in agreement and touched her own hair.

"If only my locks could be like that," she said dryly. We all laughed as Alice handed me a small dress. I looked up at her warily.

"Alice, seriously?" I questioned her. I looked at the short red dress. It was a straight cut across, with the bottom flowing out. It looked innocent enough, but it wasn't mine. And if it belonged to Alice, it was definitely too crazy for my taste. "This isn't mine."

She shook her head though. "It is, Bella. I bought it for you."

I looked up at her, clueless. "How did you know I was going on a date?"

But Alice just smiled cryptically.

"I know things these things." Her eyes danced as she said the words. "I know." Her eyes narrowed at me. "And you are going to wear the dress, Bella."

I sighed and grabbed the dress. There was no arguing with Alice, after all.

"Time check?" she barked at Rita. Rita shot her a worrying glance before answering. Alice shrieked and shoved me into the bathroom when she realized she only had twenty minutes.

What can I say? A dress is a dress. As soon as I'd gotten myself into it, Alice was barreling through the door, squealing and giggling as she slipped a bow into my hair. I glanced in the mirror and flinched.

"At least I can take out the bow," I muttered to myself. Alice pretended to ignore me as both she and Rita admired me. I couldn't lie though; all I all, I was impressed with how she'd managed to make me look.

"Almost innocent, but not quite," Alice spoke my thoughts aloud. Rita nodded in agreement. It was silent for half a minute before a car honked from outside. Alice ran to the balcony, and my heart squeezed.

"Be down in a minute!" she yelled. My heart unclenched with relief; it wasn't Edward. Part of me didn't want Alice to be here when he arrived, as much as I loved her. This night would be hard enough with her dancing around us.

Alice ran over to me and high fived me. "To protect your hair," she explained. I nodded as if it made sense before she took my hand and led me down the steps, coaching me.

"Okay, so Edward's funny sometimes, but most of the time he's just serious. Oh,but I'm sure you know that, just don't… if he takes you somewhere nice don't make a lot of jokes. But be nice! Edward likes people that are nice. I like people that are nice… oh, but I didn't mean that I'll like you. Okay, I'm getting nervous." We were almost at the door, but Alice was still in panic mode.

"Oh, uh, compliment him. Wait, no! He's supposed to compliment you. Okay compromise: if he compliments you, compliment him. Yeah do that. But of course he'll compliment you – this is Edward. Edward's my brother, so I know him well. Okay you know that, too. If you need out of anything, just call and I'll come, but like I said I think it'll go really well. Never kiss on a first date, and don't let him sleep with you. Oh, but I mean if you want to I can't really stop you but always remember to be safe –"

I was blushing furiously as I slammed the door on her. She knocked in an attempt to get back in for a second, thought better of it, and ran back down the steps into Jasper's truck. She was surprisingly fast in heels.

Rita had disappeared, probably trying to blend in to give us our space. I sat on the couch and waited. According to the clock I had about five minutes.

7:05

Not that it was surprising to be five minutes late, though. I touched the material on my dress and closed my eyes. The house seemed dead, the silence almost smothering.

7:20

Twenty minutes late might be pushing it, though.

I tried to convince myself he was coming, but somehow, I knew he wasn't.

7:40

Forty minutes.

Should I be changing my clothes? I looked down at the dress, touched the bow in my hair, and tried not to let the tears fall. I blinked and closed my eyes again.

8:00

Eight o'clock.

Edward Cullen stood me up.

It was different with James. With James, I'd crawled back to him over and over. He was mean and insensitive and cruel, but I deserved every lash of his hand, every hurtful word, because I went back. I returned to him, and I let him do it again and again until I was just a shell of myself. I may not have deserved the first hit, but I'd known all along what type of man he was.

With Edward though, I had done nothing. He was cruel, and again, I should have seen it, but I didn't. I dangled my feelings in front of him and allowed him to take them half-heartedly and run away with them. He was supposed to be different, be a real man, but deep down they were all the same. Every man stole my heart, my feelings and my affections. They didn't deserve them.

And now I was taking them back.

He wasn't here. I'd waited an hour, and I was done. I didn't know what I was doing, but I knew that I was too revved up with anger to just sit around the house all night. I felt powerful, suddenly. Crazy.

I hadn't been crazy in a long time.

I loved it.

Suddenly I knew what I was going to do. I stood up and walked up the steps quickly, my heels clicking loudly each time my shoes made contact with the marble. My heart was pounding with fear from what I was going to do, adrenaline, and hurt from Edward. But I refused to cry. Instead, my mind disconnected. I wasn't Bella anymore; I was just a girl who had been stood up.

What does one do after they've been ditched?

I knocked on the door loudly. The door opened, and Mike's eyes met mine.

"Bella?"

I smiled at him gleefully and held out my hand.

"Hello, Mike. What are you doing tonight?"

He stuttered out his reply. "N-nothing."

I flashed him another smile. "Wrong. You're going to a club. With me."

I'd been stood up by Edward Cullen, but I could settle for Mike.

Author Note: God I am SO completely sorry for not updating. My beta pestered me [politely, by messaging me asking, in a sense, 'where the hell are you'. lmao, go rose! xD] to get back to writing, but I was really busy. I have weight training 4 days a week and I had finals to study for, not to mention I'm having some personal problems that I've been trying to get fixed for myself, and all in all, i've just been really stressed. top it off with bouts of insomnia, and, well... yeah. they're not that great of excuses, but they're all i have.

Does this chapter make up for my lack of updating? Lemme know loves (:

Review!