hey guys! sorry it's been awhile... I knew what I wanted this chapter to consist of just didn't know how to put it. anyways..thanks for hanging in there with me :)

Its awkward, and uncomfortable. Its never been like that around Rachel, we would sit in silence and it wouldn't phase up one bit. I don't know where to start, I feel every emotional almost, but I don't want to argue I want us to figure everything out and I want to be here. Its my home. Our home. I'm my best when I'm with her and my weakest without her, I've been running a company for week in a fog signing papers and taking calls not even honestly listening to the people who at one point I would stop in the middle of a conversation with Rachel to take their calls.

"Do you still love me?" Rachel finally says breaking the silence, I should be grateful since I didn't have enough guts to do so. But I've never been good with words and It hasn't changed. But why that question? Its like she doesn't know that the reason I'm even alive is because one day a tiny brunette ran into me in he woods and changed my life.

"I'll always love you Rachel, nothing can change that." I reply finally turning to look her in the eyes.

"Are you still IN love with me Finn? I imagine that it hurt when I told you and that maybe you see me differently, but I want you to know that I did it because at the time I didn't know I had another option. I didn't want to be the reason your company went under. You have been through so much and I know that you deal with your addiction every day, one that you didn't ask for or go seeking. I wanted to protect you from the things that cause my nightmares at night."

It's the silence of a unanswered question that can drive you insane, even if youre the person the question is targeted for. Am I in love with Rachel? I don't think I could ever fall out, but for once in my time with her I don't feel good enough.

"The company doesn't mean anything to me Rach, if I lost it all right now. If they took this house and all the cars and my bank account had nothing in it, I wouldn't care. I would still have you If I had to live outside, I would be fine because when I fell asleep I wouldn't be falling with you and waking up with you. I do know that in my life I never trusted someone, not my mother and sure the hell not my father. I didn't tell people things and I didn't lean on people. I was my own rock I held myself up and I relied on my own actions and the things I only saw because people lie but facts don't. Until you, I trusted you more then I trusted myself, and then I hide things from you, I didn't tell you about the drugs because I thought it would destroy you and I can be mad but you found a way to trust me again. I think were worth it, I think me and you together will always be worth it."

I don't know when we both started to cry or when she started to smile but I missed it, I missed feeling and being at home. I missed knowing what was going to come next and who would be under me at night and tucked beside me in the morning.

"I love you Finn"

"I love you too"

I kissed her for the first time in weeks and the shock that flew through my body was the same, and maybe that seemed too easy but eventually you have to stop fighting and give in to the inevitable. Rachel and I are endgame and no matter the shit that is thrown at us no matter the hurdles we have to jump, we'll do it and we might fight but whether its me or its her we'll forgive each other. I don't see that changing anytime soon.

It wasn't what I would have expected but when I think about it, it should have been. Leave it to him to mend us when it was me should have been doing the work. But he understands us more he knows the ends and outs more then I do because he feels more and he always has after rehab it was as if he was tapped into not only his emotions but mine as well.

"Finn."

"Yeah babe?"

As we walk up the steps to our room he in front holding my hand leading the way, I want to tell him what's going on and at the right time

"Something happened while you were gone." I can feel his grip loosen " Its good!...i think." We both laugh a worried laugh knowing that if it was bad it would be like taking another blow to the heart and we cant handle that right now.

Once in out room he lets go of my hand and starts toward sthe bathroom slowly pulling his clothes off to get in the shower. Before getting in he comes and kisses me again slowly and light, "We'll talk when I get out, I love you."

"Ill never get tired of hearing you say that, I love you too."

"Good because I don't plan on not ever going without saying it again, it hurt too much."

It does, every day I wasn't around him felt like I lost myself a little more everyday. I don't want to feel that again I don't know what I'm going to do about the Brody situation I know I want him out of our lives I want my family I want this baby to be raised in love and not secrets. Brody has taken so much from me, he's not going to take that from me or my child.

I think about how I could tell him the whole time he was in the shower but once the water cut off my mind went blank, we've never actually had the conversation I think it was just to hard for him. Finn loves children and children love him right back, its adorable to watch but I know he has this part of him that is afraid the addiction will take over and he will end up like his father. He won't, who he is in his heart it to pure it's too good.

"Ok Rach, what do you want to tell me?" he ask climbing into bed, I can tell he's exhausted and happy to be back in his own bed just as much as I am. I take a deep breath but I'm not 100 percent sure whats about to come out."Finn? do you rememeber when we first got here and went to the party and those ladies were being assholes and telling me how your going to be so busy and we'll never see each other because the business and the investments are and she went on to say ill be planning the wedding alone and then if we have kids it'll be me and the nanny raising –"

"Rachel, you're rambling… Look I know I've been bad about the calls and the meetings and not managing my time. It's like one day everything was fine and most people didn't even want to talk to the 'Baby Business Owner' They actually called me that Rachel, it was kind of shitty. But I'm going to do better when I get to the office I'm going to find a way to make sure I get home atleast at a normal time a few times a week, and less trips because I'm thinking about sending Puck out to do that stuff sometimes because he's an ass and I pay him too much for him not to do extra stuff." He starts laughing and I cant help but to think about how much I missed his laugh and his smile.

"Thank you, that means a lot to me."

"Anything for my favorite person in the world."

"Favorite people."

"What? No.. I meant person because its just you."

"And I meant people because it's not just me anymore."

His face turns up in confusion and then I see it soften as if everything is moving into place in his head. a smile creeps his lips and his eyes meet mine again.

"Rach.. are you pregnant?"

"No, WE are pregnant."

wha

what are we thinking out there? yes..no..maybe so? cute fluff next? I think so.. also the result of Brody and him being an ass lol.. next few chapters will deal with all of that, I hope you guys liked this chapter..your reviews would be awesome!

so..

REVIEW :) lol