Kurt stood outside the door, staring at it as he tried to will himself to go inside. He'd avoided the Lima Bean like the plague since the breakup – hard to do as it was one of the only coffee shops in the area – but he was going to the school in a few hours and he just felt that he needed to do it.
He opened the door and was immediately inundated with the smell of coffee and fresh-baked pastries. It was calmer than it had been most mornings in high school when he'd stopped by to get his before-school mocha with Blaine, since it was later – most people were at work or in school by 11:00 a.m. He stepped up to the counter, feeling the familiar, comforting sensation of a long-abandoned routine.
"What can I get for you?" The barista was young, probably only eighteen or nineteen, with a blonde ponytail and bright green eyes. Kurt couldn't help thinking that the last time he was in this coffee shop, she was probably in elementary school. Of course people didn't stay at a café job for ten years, but part of him had expected to see Vicki or Sarah or Emily. They would have known the order without asking.
"I'd like a grande nonfat mocha and a medium drip." The words were out of his mouth before he had time to stop them, and he looked away, cursing himself internally. He knew he should tell the girl to void the second half of the order, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
The door jingled open and Kurt turned around quickly, half-expecting to see Blaine standing there, ready for his coffee. Finn was in the doorway, giving him an inquisitive expression. "Didn't expect to see you here," he said, striding over to his stepbrother. "I thought you stopped coming here."
"I did." Kurt blushed, mortified, when the barista chose that particular moment to hand him the two coffees, looking at Finn with an apologetic face. "Want a free coffee?"
"Sure," Finn replied, taking the drink from him as Kurt led them to a table – his table, his table with Blaine.
"How are you, Kurt?
"Fine." He hadn't spoken much with Finn since their last encounter in the bedroom a few days ago.
Finn hesitated. "I know I – I snapped a little about the thing with Blaine," he said, stirring his coffee restlessly. "You're right, I've missed him. We were friends. But you're my brother, Kurt. I should have your back no matter what. And I do." He looked at Kurt levelly. "But it's getting to you, Kurt. You're acting like a completely different person – you've been weird since I picked you up at the airport. I know what you're thinking, Kurt, that you're doing just fine on your own, that having Blaine in your life will just complicate things. But Kurt – you ordered a coffee for him."
"I know."
Finn reached across the table and took Kurt's hand, an oddly affectionate gesture. "You're scared," he said softly. "I totally get that. But dude, leaving Blaine was the dumbest thing you've ever done."
Kurt felt stinging tears starting to build and willed them away angrily. "Even if I wanted to, Finn, even if I wanted him back, it's too late now. If I didn't fuck it up eight years ago, then I definitely have in the past week."
Finn just smiled that crooked smile that only ever seemed to reach half his face. "I wouldn't be sure of it," he replied. "That boy doesn't give up easily."