Well this was a lot longer than I thought it would be...

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Every time I get an email my whole face lights up and there is a lot of floor rollling involved... ya. It's beginning to to a problem :)

The Boy Saw A Comet

The boy saw the comet and he felt as though his life had meaning.

And when it went away, he waited his entire life for it to come back to him.

It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life: direction, beauty, meaning.

There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them.

But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him, and his world would be whole again...

And his belief in God and love and art would be re-awakened in his heart.

Cas settled down on the sofa, grateful for the gesture but not fully sure why Dean was acting so…normal. Sitting on the other side from Dean, Cas leaned against the arm rest, breathing out slowly. He shut his eyes for a moment, almost unbelieving in his luck that Dean was still here- still in his house. He can't remember what it was like to have someone around who he could rely on- and he almost didn't know what to do with the information.

"Hey Cas, look at me." Dean spoke, softly.

Lifting his head, Cas turned to face Dean, searching his features for an explanation, for an answer to why he was still here. Nothing made sense; not the crinkle in his brow, the upturned twist of his lips, nor the mirth glittering in his eyes. Cas studied his face, eyes flicking back and forth between each feature, trying to see what it was about this man that made his different. Special.

What about Dean that made Cas different. Special.

Eyes growing fond, Dean chuckled and reached over, fluffing Cas' hair. "You're not over thinking anything are you?"

Rolling with the movement, Cas leaned into his hand and shuffled over slightly, burying his face in Dean's shoulder. Smashing his face into the muscle, Cas let out a muffled hum as a response.

"I'm not leaving, you know. You still have my necklace."

Cas blindly reached down and pulled the leather pendant out from other his shirt and held it loosely in his fist. Stroking the figurine with the pads of fingers, Cas smiled softly before tucking it under his collar, loving the weight of the metal against his breast bone.

Sitting up to face Dean, Cas shyly hedged.

"I don't plan on giving it back for a while."

Grinning wider, Dean shifted on the couch until he found the remote. He fiddled with it it for a bit, before looking over at Cas once more.

"Don't think I'd let you if you tried."

Dean had Cas start with the first one; because, "You have to pay respects to the classics, Cas." And after that they slowly transitioned into the second and third film.

Sometime around eleven Deans phone rang, beeping shrilly into the otherwise quiet and tense atmosphere of the room, provided by the high-stakes segment. Cas went rigid at the noise, and Dean let out an undignified squeak that he wouldn't admit under gunpoint to ever making.

After fumbling with the phone for a minute, Dean pulled it to his ear.

"Hello" Dean called, refusing to look at Cas and trying to fight down the embarrassment that was currently rising into his cheeks. ""Sammy!" Dean grinned widely.

Cas reached around Dean to try and grab the remote. It took longer than he would have thought possible to find the plastic rectangle, but each passing second that he most definitely did not find the remote was about a year in awkward time, because he was well aware that he was
hovering directly over Dean's lap in a way that would almost definitely look like it was on purpose. When his fingers finally closed around the device, (it had slipped into the crevice, the fucker) Cas almost let out a sigh of relief, straightening up quickly and pausing the scene so Dean could talk to his brother.

Dean shot him grateful glance and went back to listening to the other end of the line.

"Hey! You're done with exams now, right?... …. ..Jesus, how are you even awake right now?…. … … Do I need to schedule you to get your blood pressure checked?"

Cas snickered next to him. When Dean looked at him with an offended glance, Cas burst out laughing.

"Shut up! …. No not you. This asshole over here. Fucking judging me for making sure you don't die…. … … Not you too Sam! You can't both turn on me like this!... … Yes I have every right to worry about you dropping dead due to all that caffeine you've been injecting… .. Because I'm older ok! I have thicker blood! … … Whatever bitch. See if I care when I get the call at three in the morning. I'll just fucking laugh at the operator and tell them to dump your body wherever's convenient."

Cas zoned out of the conversation a bit, feeling slightly awkward for listening in on something that clearly wasn't meant for him to hear. Soon though, even he had to admit he was lying to himself when some of the conversation stated piquing his interest.

"Oh really? You're coming down here, man!... No that's cool!... … Do you need me to pick you up? … …That's my boy. Planes are fucking overrated… … … Just come in, you still have a key don't you?"

Cas heard a muffled voice on the other end of the line. Whatever he said, caused Dean to get a sharp gleam in his eye. Glancing over at Cas, Dean wore a shit eating grin, and continued to speak into the phone.

"Just come in when you get here. Don't bother calling- I would doubt my ability to pick up anyway. I got a hot date tonight, if you know what I mean." Dean said, leaning over and winking lavishly, mere inches from Cas.

With Dean that close, Cas was able to hear Sam's tinny response of, "Oh gross, dude. I did not need to know that." Before flushing scarlet and poking Dean in the side. Hard.

"Ow! Jeez Cas-… Oh- uh. You know it. This one's feisty." Dean leered, actively doing his best to avoid Cas' controlled jabs into every single one of his pressure points.

"Yah Sam, I think I got to go. Things are getting a little hot under the collar over here, and I think that…" Dean only narrowly avoided a jab to the neck "things are going to start flying pretty fast."

Cas huffed, moving in closer to smash his hand over Dean's mouth to keep him from talking anymore.

"Aaugh! Do NOT have phone sex with me still on the line! Uug! Goodbye jerk. See you tomorrow. You better be showered. Oh my gosh you suck. Bye." Cas heard, before the phone went dead.

"You asshole." Cas glowered, each work punctuated with a stab to the ribs. Dean barely acknowledged his words in favor of howling with laughter, even going so far as to exaggeratedly wipe a tear from his eye.

"You face.." Dean wheezed, "was priceless."

Grumbling to himself a bit longer, Cas resettled on the couch and pressed play, stonily avoiding Dean and giving him the silent treatment.

His act was quickly brought to an ends when Dean reached over and assaulted him, grabbing his shoulders and dragging him down into and expertly running his hands up and down Cas' sides, startling a painful laugh from him.

Deans fingers danced delicately over his stomach, flying back and forth over his compromised sides. He didn't stop until Cas was a crying heap of a man in front of him, begging for him to stop.

"I'll only stop if you promise to stop avoiding me." Dean said, in between his continued attack and best efforts to avoid Cas' flailing limbs.

"Ok ok ok! I'll stop! I'll- Jeez stop! I said I'll stop! Dean please! I'm done! Dean!"

Finally, after running his hands over Cas sides a few more times, Dean halted his advance.

Drawing in deep breaths, Cas relaxed bonelessly against Dean's leg, feeling his weight sag into the couch. Exhausted, he looked up and shot Dean with a mournful glare.

"I hate you."

"No you don't." Dean said cheerily, "I'm adorable."

Snorting, Cas rotated until he was facing the screen and in a comfortable position against Dean's leg.

Neither seemed to notice that half the movie had gone by.

By the time they reached the fourth film, Cas was lightly dozing on Dean's thigh, only waking up periodically on the particularly loud parts. When he did, Cas would startled slightly, and move a numb arm up to his mouth to surreptitiously checking for drool.

When Dean would notice Cas would move, he would huff a burst of warm air out through his smiling lips and scrunch the hair his hand was resting in. After several moments of blinking owlishly, Cas would lay his head back down and try to follow the film.

Before a whole minute was up, Cas was back asleep.

Dean awoke slowly, resting in a comfortable haze of warmth . Sometime in the night they had shifted with Dean laying on his back and Cas plastered to his front, sweaty limbs laced together. Smiling to himself, Dean took a moment to look at the sleeping man on top of him. He was frowning softly in his sleep, brow puckered slightly with his left cheek smashed into his stomach. He looked, frankly, adorable.

Set to take a picture, Dean maneuvered his hand into his flattened jean pocket and fished out his phone. When he turned on the screen, Dean saw the time and cursed. Stumbling out from under Cas, Dean hopped around the room, trying to gather all of his stuff.

When he heard Cas wake up on the couch, Dean cursed again. "Hey sorry. Didn't set an alarm last night and it's eleven! Sam was supposed to show up at my house an hour ago! Shit- I got to go. I'll stop by later, Cas. Ah-fuck shit... MOTHER FUCKER!"

Dean stumbled around the room, tripping over someone's shoes and crashing painfully into the wall. Squinting through the pain, Dean hopped around clutching his shoulder and a handful of clothes before launching himself out the door.

Dean ran to his car and collapsed into the driver's seat minus one shoe, his socks, and half of his belongings. Electing to just stop by later to grab everything, Dean threw the car into reverse and tore out of the driveway and to his apartment, chugging some flat soda left in the cup holder from who knows when to try and mask his breath.

Back in the house, Cas blinked up groggily, thrown from one of the most comfortable sleeps he's had in… forever, by Dean slamming into the wall and yelling at the top of his lungs. Sighing, Cas looked around the room, bundles of clothes and popcorn bags littering the floor.

He sat up and stretched, letting out a sign of relief when his back popped loudly. Relaxing against the cushions, Cas stood up slowly and made his way into the kitchen.

He made Bobba tea, and after draining half the glass he slowly wandered back into the living room. He set about picking up all the trash that was strewn across the floor. He took out a bag and gathered up all the clothes that Dean left behind; his running clothes, socks, and boxers, and threw them into a bag.

Deciding that he might as well drop them off at Dean's, Cas put on one of his oxfords sweaters, it was still slightly chilly outside, and headed out.

When Cas knocked on the door, a tree of a man answered the door. He tensed the second in registered that this was not Dean, but quickly relaxed when he recognized his face from pictures Dean kept in his wallet.

"Sam."

"Uh hi. Do I know you?"

Smiling softly, Cas spoke. "I wouldn't think so. Your brother left these at my house." Cas said, gesturing to the bag of clothes in his arms, "I assumed he would want them back. I would have washed them for him, but I don't have a washing machine." Cas said, holding out the bag to Sam.

Sam stared at the contents of the bag for a moment before looking up at the man in front of him.

"Oh! You're…he- Dean was over yours last night?"

"Yes." Cas affirmed, " And he forgot his clothes when he left this morning. Oh, and just tell him to bring mine over whenever he comes around again."

Y- yours?" Sam stuttered, trying to keep up with information that he was not ready to hear.

"Mmhm. His were soiled so I offered him mine to wear."

Sam's eyebrows nearly reached his hairline, completely unprepared for what the man in front of him was saying. Shocked at this new development that Dean certainly had not told him about, Sam fought to keep his brain from short circuiting.

"Oh ya. Sure. Right Sorry. Here- let me just get. Uh- Dean! Your-"

Sam fought back a smirk, "'hot date' is here. Something you've been meaning to tell me Dean? Seems like some of your clothes got left behind in the…er… fray."

Before he could correct Sam, Cas heard loud footsteps echo in the depths of the apartment. Within seconds, Dean's head popped up behind the door.

His glance went back and forth between Cas, Sam, and the bag of clothes, before turning beet red.

"What? Sam no! Gross! We're not- Dude you know me. It's not like that! I don't swing that way! No- he's nobody, man. He's-"

Cas felt like he'd been slapped.

Hard.

Swallowing thickly, Cas quickly did his best to keep his features from shattering and interrupted him, not able to bear anymore.

"He's correct Sam. I'm not particularly anyone. Dean was visiting my… sister last night. She just was at work and asked me to bring over his clothes." Cas said, as straight faced as possible, before reaching around his neck and shoving something into the bag with the rest of the clothes. "Which I did, so…. I'm going to go now, if that's alright with you two." Cas stammered- doing his best to keep from chocking up.

Without waiting for a response, Cas turned and walked away as quickly as possible, not daring to look back.

The whole way back was slightly surreal, Cas doing his best to not think about what Dean had just said.

Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody Nobody…

When he finally made it back to his house, Cas turned around and locked the door and checked all the windows and blinds to make sure they were shut. He felt like he was shredding, and with each latch tied down he felt a bit safer. More secured.

Finally, once the house was dark except for the little sunlight able to trickle in around the blinds, Cas turned around and slumped against the wall, doing his best to control his breathing.

Relax. It's ok. He didn't mean it

"Oh I'm sure he did!"

Cas froze, terrified. Looking up slowly, Cas shrank into the wall, doing his best to shy away from the feminine figure standing in the middle of the hallway.

"Hello, Clarence. It's about time for a house call, no?"

..

..

..

..

..

..

"Don't worry babe, you're special to me"

Slice

Rip

Tear

"You're my unicorn."

Squelch

Yell

Laugh

"I love you, you know that?"

Yank

Twist

Pull

"I'd never call you nothing

Stroke

Sooth

Kiss

"You're everything to me"

Lick

Suck

Bite

"My own little broken angel"

Whimper

Gag

Retch

"Will you be good for me, doll?"

Crack

Break

Press

"You know I love it when you're vocal"

Touch

Scream

Smile

"That's it. My little angel. All mine."

Sob

Choke

Vomit

"Where would I be without you?"

Gasp

"You're my angel"

Cry

"My everything"

Shout

"Never nothing"

Gurgle

"Never lie to you, babe"

Hyperventilate

Never

"No!"

I love you too much

"Don't! Please-"

"Don't you love me, too?"

Silence

Dean stuttered to a halt when he saw Cas' face fall, if only for a second. Before he could backtrack- Cas was stuffing something in the bag and throwing it in his face before turning and walking briskly away.

Everything in him called to go after Cas, but with Sam looking shell shocked next to him, there was no way Dean could get away without doing damage control.

The door closed quietly behind him, and the two brothers stood in uncomfortable silence before Sam exhaled softly. Cringing, Dean knew what was about to come.

"Do we… need to talk about something Dean?"

"Sam-"

"-Because I hope you know that it's ok. If you are, right? I'm not Dad-"

"Sam! Stop. I'm not- alright? Jeez, stop giving me the third degree. I'm not in the mood for a sleep over, Samantha." Dean huffed, before quickly escaping into the kitchen to nurse a beer.

The uncomfortable twinge of the lie burned hot in his chest, but there was little he could do to take it back now. He was so used to it… this denying, that the thought of trying to explain his sexuality to his family, albeit Sam, brought back to many memories.

Gloomily, Dean took a swig of his beer.

Shit. Looks like I'll need to visit Bobby again soon

A few hours after Cas had stopped over, he deemed that enough time had passed for him to leave the house without being obvious. The longer he waited, the more agitated he got- escalating to a point where he was pacing the length of the house over and over in nervous energy. Cas' face flashed in his mind over and over, a constant reminder of how much he fucked up in three seconds flat. Guilt burned low in his stomach, and his petty excuses seemed weak the longer he thought about it.

Why did you say that?

"I didn't want him to know I swung both ways."

What does that have to do with me?

"It doesn't!"

Am I really that bad? That Gross?

"No dude! I just can't have him knowing I'm gay!"

Is it really that shameful?

"I never said that-"

Yes you did. You called me gross. What's that bad about being who you are?

"BECAUSE THAT'S NOT WHO I AM! I'M NOT A FUCKING HOMO! I DON'T WEAR POLOS AND GOSSIP AND DO MY HAIR. I'M NOT WEAK"

Even in his head, he fucked up and Cas slammed the door in his face

Sighing, Dean all but ran out of the house under the cover of, "we're out of milk" to go and apologize and smooth things over.

When he arrived at Cas', Dean walked up to the door and hesitated, for the first time in months. The cold stature of the door stared blankly back at him, and he hadn't felt so unwelcome in a while.

"Cas-"Dean started, hesitant. "Hey man can I come in? I have to explain..." Dean trailed off, listening for a sign that he was coming to the door. He didn't.

Rubbing his forehead, Dean leaned against the wood. "Look- I didn't mean it ok? I was just surprised and you were there and Sam was there and I couldn't let… it doesn't matter. I fucked up, ok? Can we just talk?"

After a few more seconds of not even the light sound of shuffling to indicate that Cas was even listening.

"Please? At least answer me, man. You have to give me something."

The silence was all that greeted him, and Dean was just about to give up when he heard a quite, muffled sound.

"No."

Dean felt his heart drop, and he felt even more like an ass than he had before.

"Ya ok Cas. I'll go. But I'm coming over tomorrow ok? Even if it's just to slap me or something, ya? I just need to see that you're ok. So… I'll see you tomorrow. Is that good?"

"No-"Dean heard, straining, "please…"

"I'm coming over tomorrow Cas. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

Cas didn't dignify him with a response.

Dean turned reluctantly away from the door, feeling like shit. He ran through what he had said over and over in his head- cursing every second.

Why would it have been so bad for Sam to know, anyway? He wasn't ashamed anymore; Bobby had worked him through that…

Sighing, Dean returned to the house, sans milk in a gloomy haze.

When Sam saw him enter and opened his mouth to ask why he hadn't picked it up, Sam saw the look on his face and quickly stopped.

He got his answer anyway.

So ya! That was... fun

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~Magnolia