There were guards around Ben all the time now. Bars had been installed in his windows, and then they had been shuttered with thick wood to prevent arrows from flying in. All of his food and drink was taste-tested. Everyone that came into his room had an escort, save the king and queen, because the assassin would not - or could not - reveal the name of the man who hired him. Ben knew better than to start accusing Stefan without any proof. He also knew that a second attack would not come, thanks to the loss of the element of surprise.
His desire to do anything for Mal, though, was still being drained away by the bleedings. He could hardly stand or even sit up anymore, and his thoughts constantly felt muddled and fuzzy. Thin veins stood out prominently on his nearly white skin. During the last two 'treatments', he could have sworn his blood seemed more watery. After the attack, he had asked Captain Li to procure official records of the war from the Royal Library, but they had remained hidden under his bed, untouched and unread. His appetite lessened by the day until he was weaker than a newborn.
"You are being murdered," Captain Li whispered furiously to him. It was not her duty to help feed him, but it offered them the opportunity to talk with relative privacy. She made a point of clanging the spoon around in the bowl to cover up their conversation. "I followed your physician yesterday - I apologize for not telling you, but it was a suspicion I could not prove until now. He met a servant of Stefan's late last night. It is my belief that Stefan has ordered him to kill you, slowly enough so as to not provoke questions, and blame it on a failure of treatment."
This is important, Ben tried to tell himself. He knew he should focus, but he couldn't. Every day he was less awake, less alert. Not to mention, breathing had become such a labor that he struggled to speak a full sentence without pausing in between for air. "No one...will believe..."
"I know," responded Lonnie, frustrated. "We must move you to a safer location while we gather evidence. Somehow." She sighed. "You are too ill to travel, my prince."
The thought of going somewhere else gave his wandering mind a nudge towards his dream of Mal. Come find me. To his utmost dismay, he had awoken remembering every second of it, including the moment she disappeared. If he were to leave the castle, where could he go that would offer him some semblance of peace after her death?
Though if the physician succeeded in killing him, perhaps peace would not be needed. Beyond the grave, he would have all of eternity to find her.
Ben looked at his hands - there was more flesh on his bones, and color to his skin. He stood up from his bed without falling over, and examined the rest of the body he could see. Normal. Just as he used to be.
"You never came."
His head jerked up. In front of him was Mal, disappointed and crestfallen. The scar left by the sword was still on her neck - a constant, horrible reminder. "Mal...I am coming. Soon." A tear fell onto his cheek. Accepting his death was harder than he had ever imagined it being. What of his mother, his father? He was their only child. And the kingdom he had hoped to lead into prosperity? Audrey would ascend the throne as his fiance...and none of his plans would ever see the light of day.
But he would be with her. At his assurance, the slightest bit of hope brightened her face.
Suddenly, the fairy whipped to the side and threw an arm in front of her in defense. "Stop!" To his horror, she flickered once, twice, and then disappeared from his sight once again.
"MAL!" Why did this keep happening? Why was he cursed to watch her die, over and over again? He ran towards her, but his steps led him nowhere. "Mal, please! Please come back! I need you..." he begged, to no avail. "Please..."
"Ben!" Someone was shaking him. "Ben, it is only a nightmare."
He awoke, gasping. The extra fatigue he felt meant he must have been thrashing about. He relaxed every one of his constricted muscles, focusing on the air filling his lungs. Belle let go of him and took a shaky breath. Even she was not strong enough to handle watching her son's life leave him. She spent her time crying more often than not.
"Just a nightmare," she repeated softly, stroking his sunken cheek. "Have you eaten today, my love?"
Ben knew his answer would upset her. It always did. Luckily, he was saved by the captain of his guard.
"Your Highness." Lonnie knelt on one knee, her head bowed in deference. "Due to the prince's worsening condition, I took the liberty of sending out more of my men and women to search for a cure. One returned with rumor of a woman who has the ability to break curses - but will not leave her home for anyone, not even the Prince of Auradon."
"Why not?" Belle demanded.
"I...am not sure." Captain Li was an excellent fighter, but a terrible liar. "But she expects those seeking her help to make the journey themselves."
"Does she know the reward offered for a cure? If that does not tempt her, what will? She must come here, my son is unable leave his bed!"
"I can arrange transportation, Your Highness, and ensure that he travels in comfort. However, this must be done in absolute secrecy, as other assassins may lie in wait. No information can be leaked - to anyone."
The queen's eyes went wide. "But...the king?"
"You must tell him only after we leave, which we will do as soon as possible. The prince...may not have much time left to spare."
Belle looked down at her skeleton of a son, who was watching the exchange through half-lidded eyes. "What if...what if the rumors are false, and there is no one who can help him? What if he is all alone when he...?" A sob caught in her throat.
"Your Highness," said Lonnie firmly. "On my honor, I will bring him back to you."
Captain Li ensured that the elongated carriage containing the prince - lying down on a mattress stuffed with goose down - left just before Ben's next treatment, when he was strongest. They took four trusted guards, but told them nothing. Ben did not much enjoy the bumpy ride over cobblestones as they approached the city's main gate, but he knew it was necessary. He needed to leave.
No one questioned the cargo of the carriage, as Captain Li herself rode alongside. With little difficulty, they exited the capital. After a few miles, Ben rang the small bell he had been given to alert Lonnie should he need her.
"Yes, my prince?" Lonnie stopped the horses and let one guard tend to them while entering the carriage.
"I want...to go...back."
Alarmed, she frowned. "Back to the capital? One or two more treatments will kill you."
"No. Back to the...mountain."
"As much as it pains me to ask you to explain, Prince Ben..."
"Bury her ashes." Audrey had mentioned the dragon's body had been burned. How could her spirit rest without the proper rites? Ben had intended to do this one day, after Stefan had been convicted and the other Fae could be present, but he hoped that doing so now would rid him of the awful dreams. It was selfish, but he needed the closure. He could not keep living a haunted life. He hoped that it was what she would have wanted, that this was why she came to him while he slept and told him to find her.
Lonnie thought for a moment. "The journey will lead us close to Stefan's lands. He is currently in the capital, but should he choose to return, he could arrive faster than we will be able to leave."
"I need...to bury them."
She sighed. "Very well. I will take you as far as the edge of the forest, where you must stay - for your own health, Prince Ben. One of us will scale the mountain and retrieve her remains, if possible." She ducked out of the carriage to alert the other guards of the change in plan, and Ben closed his eyes to sleep.
Their slow pace lengthened the trip by several days. Nonetheless, Ben had no complaints. Without the regular bleedings, his appetite began to return - despite Captain Li's insistence that he eat the most tasteless of vegetables, which were supposedly beneficial to soldiers (and unlucky princes) suffering from blood loss. Soon, he was able to sit up again. His mind started to clear. He found himself staying awake for more than an hour at a time. It no longer took all of his focus just to breathe. He was coming back from the edge of death, and it became more apparent each day just how precariously close he had been.
The nearer they came to Stefan's lands, the more unassuming they attempted to make their caravan. The guards changed out of their conspicuous capes and helmets, instead donning unmarked armor. The horses' manes were intentionally cut in a haphazard pattern, and their coats were left unbrushed to hide any trace of the once impeccable grooming. Ben, though he was eager to try to walk again, was not allowed out of the carriage where someone might see him. They continued this way until they reached an inn near the road's entrance into the forest. It took quite a bit of bribery to ensure the innkeeper would not ask questions about a new long-term guest he would be hosting. The prince exited the carriage in a hooded cape, leaning on a guard while he tested his feeble legs. The six of them were taken behind the inn, where they could ascend to a second-floor room without being seen by the other patrons.
Ben collapsed onto a bed with as much dignity and grace as one could in his situation, panting hard from half-climbing - and half being carried - up a flight of stairs. While he recovered, Lonnie surveyed the room and took precautions against any unwanted visitors by stationing a guard at each window and two at the door. "We must obtain a guest list from the innkeeper," she told no one in particular. "The walls are thin. We cannot speak freely here. You will all refer to him - " She pointed to Ben. " - only by the title of Master." Her subordinates nodded in understanding. "Tonight, we rest. We will decide who will undertake the rest of the journey tomorrow."
The night was unusually warm, and though Ben was generally cold nowadays, he could not sleep comfortably even after he had kicked off the blankets. Guards were dozing in various corners, apparently unaffected by the heat, with one on watch. Ben slowly stood up and stumbled towards the door.
"Master, is there something you need?" whispered the guard on duty.
"Some air. I will be but a moment. Stay here."
"But - "
"Remain at your post, soldier."
The soldier, though troubled, did not disobey the direct order. Ben struggled to descend the staircase but finally opened the back door of the inn, sighing in relief when he felt a slight breeze on his face.
From where he stood, he could see the sharp border between the human-occupied lands and the wild forest. Flat grass gave way to tall trees, packed tightly except for the opening created for the road to pass through. The moon illuminated everything up to the treeline, where its light could not reach the forest floor.
There was a movement.
Ben blinked, sure he had been mistaken. There was only darkness beyond the thick trunks, but he had seen a break from the stillness rather than anything that reflected light. Before his intuition told him it was a terrible idea, Ben staggered forward a few steps, bringing him that many yards closer to the woods.
This time, he was sure. Something moved in the trees, something the size of a human and...a flash of brilliant purple.
"Mal," he whispered hoarsely, picking up his pace. It took him a few minutes to reach the trees, and by that point, all that was left of her was a rustling of branches and bushes in front of him. With difficulty, he picked through the underbrush, following the sound of snapping twigs deeper and deeper into the unknown. Then, he reached a clearing. And she was there.
"Ben? What happened to you?" she asked slowly.
He was breathing hard from the exertion, but his already racing heart quickened further. This dream was so much more vivid than the others. Ben could see the slight breeze pass through each individual lock of her hair, the frayed threads on the hem of her dress, the hard and ropy texture of the scar on her exposed neck, and a deep sadness in her eyes. Somehow it hurt him all the more - as if she was closer, but still so far away.
He would not lose her this time.
"Mal..." His clumsy gait and abrupt approach clearly startled her, but not nearly as much as his hands on the sides of her face and his lips pressed to hers.
A small sound of surprise escaped her and she tensed under his touch. Ben did not care. He was tired of being a victim of his own subconscious. If he was going to dream of her, it would be on his terms. He had decided. Tonight he would kiss her, and tomorrow morning he would not wake up in despair after having watched her die again.
At first she covered his hands with her own, as if to remove them, but then she relaxed. Her grip loosened and traveled halfway up his arms before tightening again. She responded timidly at first, then just as eagerly as him, her lips soft as a caress one moment and then crushingly passionate the next. He could feel it all. Everything.
This was not a dream.
The realization shocked him into breaking away. He stumbled back a couple of steps and nearly fell over, his eyes as wide as saucers. "You...you are real."
Her cheeks were flushed. She lifted her hand to her lips, seemingly dazed. "Of course I am."
Ben's mind had screeched to a halt, as had a variety of other essential functions, like breathing and blood flow. He did not understand, could not begin to comprehend, and she was just standing there, as if waiting for him to kiss her again...
"How?"
"I have much to tell you." She closed the distance between them, reaching for him.
He jerked away. "I am to be married to Audrey within the month."
He did not know why he said that. Perhaps it was to remind himself that what he had done could not be allowed, let alone repeated. Perhaps it was to explain to her why he had cut their kiss short once he realized it was not a fantasy. A strict moral code had the benefit of not requiring much thought, and he had fallen back on it rather than search through the chaos in his heart. Regardless, he likely would have been more tactful if not for the pathetic state he was in, which Mal knew nothing about.
Her countenance turned stormy almost immediately, and she took a step back as well. "Then why did you come?" she snarled.
"I...I had these dreams...you were in them, telling me to find you." Another thought occurred to him. "That was really you, was it not? You created them - but you told me you never wove dream magic."
"I said I did not, not that I could not," she spat. "Why did you come?"
Her anger did not fool him. She was hurt and confused and so was he, but someone had to start giving truthful answers. "Because I love you, Mal." Her scowl disappeared for a moment at the unexpected answer. "Desperately. I could think of nothing but you. If you had told me to, I would have traveled to the ends of the Earth."
"But then..." She ran her hand through her hair, her brows furrowed. "How can you marry Audrey?"
"I..." It was only then that he noticed the weight off his shoulders. Yes, he was still weak and malnourished and tired beyond belief, but Mal was alive. Alive and in front of him. He felt faint for an entirely new reason - the lost burden had made him lightheaded, too. "I - "
"Shh!" Mal's eyes snapped to something behind him. She drew her right hand back, as if to throw some invisible object. "Someone is here."
Ben turned as fast as he could to shield her. His condition was as far as could be from battle-ready, but he would die before seeing her hurt again. From the direction he had entered, the point of a sword emerged between two trees, followed by the rest of Captain Li.
The prince relaxed until he heard the telltale crackle of fire from Mal - a purple flame glowed in her palm and she had taken on a defensive stance. "Wait - both of you! Mal - stop. This is Captain Li. She is a friend. Lonnie, this is Mal - she is alive and I do not know how but for right now, sheathe your sword."
"How do you know she is not an impostor? You yourself saw her fall," asked Lonnie suspiciously. Mal frowned and looked to Ben, unsure of how to react knowing Captain Li was more threatened by a false Mal than an authentic one.
"Trust me," Ben responded.
After a moment's hesitation and sizing up of her opponent, the captain did as commanded. Then she knelt on one knee and bowed her head. "My apologies, Your Majesty. I meant no disrespect. I am Li Lonnie, a humble servant of the royal family of Auradon, charged to protect Prince Ben with my life. I acted out of concern for his safety."
It took Mal a moment to realize Lonnie was addressing her. The fire sputtered out. Mal's mouth opened and closed awkwardly, and she remained silent until Ben jerked his head in Lonnie's direction. "Of course I understand. Please rise." She obviously was not prepared for the hierarchy that Lonnie adhered to so faithfully.
"The others," Ben started. "Are they...?"
"They are well. And...they would be overjoyed to see you, if...if you would like to..." She was still rather flustered, not ready to act the part of a queen quite yet. "Would you like to meet them?"
Relieved, Ben smiled at Lonnie. "I would like nothing more."
"My prince..." Captain Li warned. "It is already dangerous for you to be - "
"Captain," he insisted, "there is nowhere safer than that mountain. But if you still worry, then come along. I must go. I have many, many questions." He gave Mal a pointed glance.
The fairy backed up further before beginning her transformation. Lonnie watched warily as the thick purple smoke rose from the ground, obscuring the woman in front of them. When it cleared, even the battle-hardened captain flinched and reached for the hilt of her sword as the dragon unfurled her wings to their full length.
Ben approached without fear, letting the dragon gently wrap the talons of her forelimb around him. "If it comforts you, Captain, this is my first time flying as well."
He still could not believe a thing he was seeing.
A few weeks ago, he would have been beside himself to fly above the tree tops, up the height of the mountain, and down into the familiar cave. Instead, he could only spare a distracted glance at the passing landscape while he tried to piece together how any of this was possible.
The mouth of the cave looked different. Rocks had fallen in various places. The slabs hiding the entrance to the cavern below were gone, but gaping holes in the wall of the shaft had appeared. At the bottom of the shaft, in the front hall of the residence, a large pile of rubble and twisted metal had accumulated.
But most incredible of all, Carlos, Evie, and Jay stood by the fire pit, waiting to welcome him. Not one of them looked as though they had been harmed, let alone killed. Ben found it nothing short of miraculous.
Decorum had no place among the friends. Hugs were given freely, along with shocked observations about Ben's weight and sickly appearance. Captain Li fielded questions about herself only briefly, preferring to spend the first few moments eyeing the corners of the room and warily staring down the long hallway.
"I do not understand," Ben said in awe. "How...?"
"Please sit, Your Highness," Evie invited, settling on one of the seats around the fire pit. The others joined her. Lonnie sat next to Ben, keeping her hand on her sword hilt and, for some reason, throwing poisonous looks at Jay. "We know you must be curious. Though, we are quite curious about how you have fared as well."
Ben and his guard exchanged glances, earning Mal's suspicion. "I would like to hear you, first."
"Very well. I suppose...we should start with the Lady Audrey's manifesto." Evie motioned to Mal, whose lips twitched but otherwise made no movement.
Ben realized he had not answered her question about his marriage to Audrey, and it was clearly on her mind. Did that mean...? In discovering she was alive, Ben had all but thrown aside the fact that she had been kissing him, too. He had thought she was a figment of his imagination, but she had known all along he was real. She has feelings for me. It was getting harder and harder to suppress a smile.
That would all change very quickly.
Evie continued when the other woman did not. "The four of us heard your assurances but...we were still afraid. We could not be certain that Stefan would listen to you." A fair assessment, considering what happened.
"So Jay and I created what I call my sulfite monstrosities," added Carlos, "which were quite large explosives. We armed them with a very long length of gasoline-doused string and embedded them at the top of the shaft that leads here. Then we installed the latticework, which you saw."
"After we were all at the top of the mountain, Mal put you to sleep," Evie told him gently. "The three of us returned to the cave underneath. Mal covered the lattice as best she could, and waited."
"But you fought! I saw you fight!" protested Ben. And I saw you die. For some reason, the phrase 'Mal put you to sleep' had his stomach sinking with dread.
"Illusions," Jay corrected. "Mal created the illusions to trick the soldiers into thinking we were all there. One by one we were 'killed' and fell into the shaft - or rather, onto the rocks that covered it. Then...well, then Mal took a terrible blow."
Ben remembered the glint of the blade and the slick sound it had made while digging into Mal's flesh all too well. He stiffened, a reaction missed by no one.
"And she fell, by all appearances on top of the rest of the bodies so they could not longer be seen - by design, because we knew at this point she would not be in any condition to keep up the illusions. The drop was far enough that the soldiers could not lift her easily. Instead, one or two come down to inspect her and then when they were cleared, oiled cloths were thrown on top of her and lighted afire."
"Because fire is the best way to dispose of a heat-resistant beast," Carlos said sarcastically. "Regardless, we waited for hours after we heard her land on the rocks. Then I detonated the charges. Everything came down - metal, rock, dragon. We stitched Mal's wound closed, and nursed her back to health. It took a long time, especially because she kept using magic to try and contact you when she thought we were not looking." He rolled his eyes. Ben thought back to the dreams in which Mal disappeared - simply cut off by the people trying to take care of her. He thought he had been watching her death over and over again, as some sort of curse or punishment. Why had no one told him anything? A pain in his chest came with the realization that most, if not all, of his woes could have been avoided, if only... "She was very weak, and she does not understand her limitations. In faking her death, she actually almost - " The young man stopped talking when he noticed the glares he was getting. Unlike his friends, he had not immediately noticed the change in Ben.
The prince felt his captain's hand on his shoulder, and was grateful for the meager comfort it provided. He was relieved, of course. The four of them were alive and well, a blessing he had never dared hope for. But with that relief came a heavy, blanketing fatigue. The anger over their unjust deaths had kept him going so far, and now that it was gone, he wanted to rest his aching bones. Besides, a small part of him was furious. He had been deceived in the worst way, and he had suffered so terribly because of it. He had been forced to endure one of the worst moments of his life - not to mention everything that followed. Ben buried his head in his hands, alarming everyone else.
"Prince Ben?" tried the ever cautious Evie.
"You faked your deaths," he repeated softly.
"Well...yes." Evie sounded uncomfortable. He was sure the rest of them were uncomfortable as well. Surely they were not just now considering the ramifications of their trickery. "We wish we could have told you - but we were not sure you could act the part we needed. Or..."
"Or that you could trust me." He laughed bitterly, having forgotten yet again that Evie's carefully curated exterior hid a cunning mind. We were not sure you could act the part we needed. He had considered them friends, and they had treated him like a prop, a tool, to be used to run away from Stefan and buy them more time.
"Ben..." Mal spoke for the first time, shakily. "We thought...we thought it might affect you for a few days, but..." Surely she was thinking back to his declaration of love not an hour earlier. Had she really thought she meant so little to him? Or was it an excuse she used to justify her actions?
"Of course." He kept his voice quiet for fear of it cracking, but the absolute stillness of his audience made it loud enough. Lonnie squeezed his shoulder. Instead of making eye contact with anyone, he examined his hands. Still thin, and pale. Too weak to hold a sword for more than a few minutes. They did not know the half of what he had been through. "How could you have known?" he mumbled, mostly to himself.
Evie stood suddenly. "You must be tired from your journey. Come, I will get the both of you settled. Mal - perhaps they might like something to eat?"
When Ben looked up, his eyes met Mal's wide, sorrowful ones. Somehow any sympathy from her felt hollow, even despite their recent kiss. He ignored her and turned his attention to the hallway. Lonnie helped him stand out of pure habit, and no one missed this either.
The three of them walked into the room he had occupied during his time here. It was completely unchanged. Exhausted, Ben sat on the bed, slumped over. Lonnie remained by his side. "Are you alright, my prince?" He nodded numbly.
Evie knelt beside him. "I am so sorry," she said. Such empty words. "We did what we had to, without a second thought as to your well-being. We acted selfishly and ungratefully. I do not ask for your forgiveness - seeing you now tells me we do not deserve it. But I still wish to offer you two points by way of explanation. One, that we were afraid. Stefan was upon us and we had no way of hurting him without making him a martyr. We needed him to think we were no longer a threat so that he would leave us in peace until we had a new plan. Two, that all of it was my idea. Mal was against it from the beginning, but even she saw that we needed an escape. It pained her, but she knows, as we all know, that you are incapable of deception. Had she any other choice, she would have taken it." She made to sit next to him, but stopped when Lonnie pulled her sword out of its sheath by a few inches. No doubt Evie was confused by the threat, but she did not know what Lonnie did - that their actions had nearly cost Ben his life. "You know she would have done anything else if she could have. You yourself convinced her to take the right path, and let the Lady Audrey live. She did that for you, Prince Ben. She would do almost anything for you."
Ben knew what Evie was implying, but for the first time he did not want to hear it.
A knock on the open door frame signaled Mal's arrival with two plates of cooked meat and vegetables. She hesitated to enter, looking to Evie for any cues but finding none. "Would you...would you like something else, Ben? It - "
Lonnie cut her off, still deferential by all technicalities - her head bowed, her tone respectful - but nonetheless hostile, knowing Mal would say nothing about being interrupted. "Would the queen be so kind as to use Prince Ben's title?"
That shut Mal up quite effectively. Those that were there remembered the incident so many days ago, when Mal had demanded the same of Ben, and the rift it had caused. "It is alright, Lonnie. Thank you." He shrugged at Mal. "That will be fine."
The fairy nodded, biting her lip as she handed both dishes to Lonnie. "Have you decided what you will do from here?"
In fact, Ben had decided. He would go home. He would be declared spell-free by whoever would listen, now that his strength was returning. And in a month, he would marry Audrey - the woman who would never hurt him, because she could not. He had been through enough pain for the time being - and all for nothing. It felt cruel to say this to Mal, however, so instead he told her, "Knowing that you are alive and still have a chance to find justice for your people is more than I could have asked for. It renders the rest of our planned journey unnecessary." He glanced at Lonnie, who frowned. "We will start our journey back home tomorrow. I will do what I can to find evidence against Stefan, but I will do it from Auradon." The implication was clear. He had nothing else to offer her.
Mal's face fell, but before she could say anything, Lonnie blurted, "That will not be possible, my prince. You must be in full health to defend against the attempts on your life."
Alarmed, Ben tried to stop her with a quieting gesture, but it was too late. "Attempts on your life?" Mal asked slowly, horror creeping into her voice.
"It is nothing - "
"Three so far." Of course. This was purposeful. Captain Li would not be so simple-minded as to divulge information like this without a second thought. This was a calculated revenge against those who had deceived Ben.
"Lonnie, please - "
"Three?"
"Who?" asked Evie softly. "Who is trying to assassinate you?"
They all knew the answer. Lonnie had stopped responding, ostensibly heeding Ben's plea. Evie and Mal waited for Ben so speak. He sighed. "Stefan."
Something had changed in Mal's face, something Ben had seen only once before, when she had been watching memories of the war over and over again to justify killing Audrey.
"What has he done?" Evie knew she was about to get the answers she sought after seeing the more sickly version of Ben that sat in front of her.
The prince did not want to answer, but he knew the waiting was only making their internal guesses more gruesome. He fiddled with the words in his head, trying to downplay the severity of his injuries. Finally, to put everyone out of their misery, Lonnie said, "Stefan starved Prince Ben when they returned from the mountain, denying him even water for several days. Then he sent an assassin to kill Prince Ben while he slept. And more insidiously, he has been working with a physician tasked with removing the nonexistent 'spell' from the prince's body. Regular bleedings left Prince Ben in a much worse state than he is in currently. This is why we left the capital - to save his life."
Mal moved like a ghost until she was directly in front of him. He was sure she was one word away from crumbling. "What does she mean, regular bleedings?"
"Do not do this, Mal," he warned.
"What does she mean?"
Perhaps he had moved in such a way to suggest he wished to hide his right arm from her, but she grabbed it and pushed up the sleeve. Fourteen scars in various stages of healing trailed from his wrist to his elbow, each one marking another step closer to death. What sounded like a soft scream fought its way out of Mal's throat and she fell to her knees. Ben tried to pull away, but he was too weak to twist out of her grasp. "Please...n-no...no..."
Ben could only watch helplessly while her fingers brushed each wound, counting. She began sobbing, anguished and afraid and broken.
"Why d-did you not tell them there was no s-s-spell?!" she demanded through her tears.
"I tried...they did not believe me."
Mal let go of his hand, and Ben hurriedly replaced the sleeve. It was too late. Her eyes had lost focus. Though she was staring unblinkingly at his arm he was not sure what she was actually seeing. "I...I did this. This is m-my f-fault."
"You did not cause this," he said firmly.
She shook her head. "All those years ago...I wanted to d-die rather than c-cause anymore suffering." She met his gaze for one terrible second, with an expression that would haunt him until the end of time. "I have never wished for that more."
"Mal!" he shouted, aghast. He tried to shake her by the shoulders, and managed only a slight wiggle. "You cannot say that. Look at all of the good you have done since then. Look at Evie!" Ben followed his own advice, expecting Evie to support him. Instead, he saw that all the blood had left seamstress's face. It made her tears harder to see. She covered her mouth with one hand, refusing to say a word. As much as it gratified Ben to know that she maybe did care for him beyond his use to her, that was not what he needed at that moment. He turned back to Mal. "And Carlos! And Jay!"
"Nothing is worth your life," she whispered. Evie was standing right there, and yet Mal had been clear. Nothing was more important than Ben, not Evie, nor anyone else. Not even revenge. His heart softened, along with the resolution to put all of this behind him.
Some life came back into Mal for a moment when she had an idea. "Stay here. I can protect you. I will not let him harm you, not ever again. I will not let anyone harm you." Her eyes shone, still wet with unshed tears.
Ben hated to make them fall. "You know I cannot do that."
"You must!" she protested emphatically. "Ben...please..." That was all she got out before she started weeping again. His resolve breaking, Ben tugged at her shoulder. She was all too eager to sit next to him and climb into his arms. Why was it that whenever he hugged her, she was at her saddest? Why could it never be an embrace of love, and not necessity? Perhaps because they were never destined to have that chance. Unless..."Please do not leave," she begged.
He knew he could be happy with her if he stayed. He also knew that was never in the cards for them.
"I love you."
Who said that? Ben wondered. It was so quiet, it had likely been a passing thought - but no. There was a pause in Mal's crying while she waited for him to react. His heartbeat accelerated to a rather unhealthy rhythm. "Mal...you are feeling guilty...and upset..."
"No. No." Her hands absentmindedly balled up the front of his tunic. "When you fought for me...I knew. It was all real, it was all true." When she looked up at him, their noses almost touching, her eyes begged him to kiss her. "I love you. Desperately." Ben's breath hitched - his thumb brushed her bottom lip and her eyelids fluttered closed.
Lonnie loudly cleared her throat.
Ben flinched backwards, feeling his ears redden. He had forgotten anyone else was in the room. Evie had left at some point, but Lonnie was pointedly looking away, obviously wishing she had left too. Curse her adherence to the rules of dismissal. "Would you mind giving us a moment alone, Captain?" he requested awkwardly.
"Of course, Your Highness." She left Ben's plate behind and walked out of the room hastily.
Ben turned back to Mal, noticing how much her blush stood out on her fair skin. He gave her a small smile, caressing her cheek. She leaned into his touch, waiting - but he dropped his arm. "You asked me how I could marry Audrey if I love you." He felt her brace for rejection by drawing back into herself, away from him. Being vulnerable had never been her strong suit, and she had bared her soul for him. He let her go. "These past few weeks have given me a glimpse into hell, Mal, and I did not want to risk undergoing a similar experience ever again. It was just too much. I thought that the unhappiness of being married to someone I did not love would pale in comparison."
She swallowed thickly, staring down at her lap. "If that is your wish...I understand," she said, in the tone of someone who did not understand but knew they had no right to argue. "You have suffered horribly because of me. No apology will change that fact, and no promise will ever make you trust me again. My claim of loving you must sound like a mockery."
He tucked her hair behind her ear, again exposing the scar on her neck. "That is not true."
Mal waved his hand away. "It is the unfairness that angers me most. You deserve so much more than a choice between lifelong dissatisfaction and...everything I did to you."
"Mal, it was not you that did this to me."
"It may well have been. I could have done something else - anything else - but instead I handed you to that monster. As if you meant nothing. As if you were expendable."
"You could not have known - "
"I should have known." She was crying in frustration now. "Why did I think he would not harm you? He is ruthless and without conscience. He has already found three ways to kill you without seeming at fault. And I did nothing."
"Carlos said that you created those dreams to check on me, despite - "
"That was not enough!" Mal jumped up and started pacing. "I could have come after him. He would not have expected me. I could have ended this, once and for all!"
Ben struggled to stand, but after a few seconds he was able to step in front of her. "What good will any of this regret do, Mal?"
"What good have I ever done?" she countered bitterly. "I am not you, Ben. I am not worth this." She gestured at his arm.
"You are." And that was when he realized - what of it? If he was hurt, if he was tortured, if he died - what did it matter, so long as she was well? He had come here to collect her ashes, expecting ruin and death. Instead, he found everything he had dreamed of. In focusing on Ben, Stefan had given the possibility of Mal's survival little thought, which allowed her the time she needed to heal. She stood before him just as strong as ever. How could he be so ungrateful? "I do not know what the future holds. Maybe it will be more of the same. But knowing that you love me - and that everything I went through was not in vain - that is worth it. You are worth it." He grasped both her hands in his. "I will not marry Audrey. I cannot. But...you must allow me to end our engagement formally. I owe that to her - and to you."
Mal looked at their entwined fingers before meeting his gaze again. "Marry her or not, Ben, please know that I will never make such a mistake again. I will keep you safe, whether you are by my side or by hers."
He drew her into his embrace. "Thank you."
"I will require a chair in this room, nothing more," said Lonnie.
Mal frowned briefly. "We have another room in which you can sleep comfortably..."
"That will not be necessary, Your Highness." The title still felt unfamiliar to Mal, but the fairy would not give up.
"Would it not be more...prudent...to have your own bed?" It occurred to Ben that Mal might actually be jealous. In all his years of knowing her, Ben had never thought of Lonnie as a run-of-the-mill woman. She was his protector, a trusted guardian - but Mal did not know that.
When he attempted to explain, he was cut off by Captain Li. "I am here to protect my prince - I am well aware that one of you has caused him bodily harm already."
Suddenly, her hatred of Jay made much more sense. Both Jay and Carlos had come to issue their own apologies after being briefed on the situation by Evie, and so were still there when Lonnie made this comment. Jay's eyebrows shot up in surprise.
"That was just a sparring match."
"You went too far," Lonnie rebutted. "I will not take the chance of another drunken attack on Prince Ben."
"Lonnie!" Ben interjected sharply.
Jay seemed rather amused. "Am I to be afraid of a tiny girl wearing her father's armor?"
There was a sword at his throat before Ben could do anything. Carlos and Evie had just enough time to gasp in anticipation of bloodshed. After a short period of shock, Jay looked impressed.
"Stop!" shouted Mal. A invisible force came forth from her outstretched hands, pushing Jay and Lonnie apart. "Jay, do not antagonize her. I will get you a chair, Captain Li."
Ben frowned as the four outlaws left. "Was that truly necessary, Captain?"
Lonnie sheathed her sword. "Quite, as I intend to fight him before our stay here is over."