Disclaimer: I don't own PoT or any characters. Boo hoo.
Warning: This fic contains mild shounen-ai.
Author's Notes: 1st of 3 posts today. Enjoy!
Inui went looking for Kaidoh. Why had he left so suddenly? Inui knew he had to set him straight. The match was not his fault.
The third-year found Kaidoh in a clearing shaded with trees. His fist was against one of the trunks, and he was cursing under his breath.
Why was he suddenly so upset?
"Kaidoh…"
At the sound of his name, Kaidoh stood up straighter and turned to face Inui. "Senpai." He was trying to act like nothing was wrong.
Inui couldn't look at him. Instead he stared at the broken bark where Kaidoh's fist had hit the tree. He wanted to apologize again, first of all. His eyes fell to his feet. "I'm sorry I let you down Kaidoh. And it wasn't your—"
"No, senpai."
Inui looked up. Kaidoh had begun walking away.
Inui wasn't sure why this frustrated him so much. Why? he asked himself. What is he so upset about? Why won't he tell me?
And why is he leaving?
Inui had to know. With one stride, he caught up to the second-year and grabbed him by the shoulders. Kaidoh obediently stopped and stood still. But instantly Inui noticed something that surprised him.
Kaidoh was trembling.
Inui couldn't move for a moment. He was just confused. Why in the world was Kaidoh shaking?
Then, he realized for the first time, with some dismay, that he made Kaidoh nervous.
Shocked and maybe slightly hurt, he let go of Kaidoh's shoulders. The last thing he wanted, right now, was to scare the second-year. He could only say, quietly, "Kaidoh… We don't have to talk if you don't want to."
Kaidoh turned around halfway and bowed hurriedly. Obviously eager to take Inui up on that offer, he sputtered, "Forgive me, senpai." Then he literally ran away.
Inui didn't move from where he was standing. Somehow, he couldn't. He felt an unfamiliar sting somewhere inside his chest.
Kaidoh had run away from him.
Normally, Inui might have analyzed the situation with a more optimistic perspective. If he made Kaidoh nervous, it would mean that his influence on him was greater than he realized. And that might very well be a good thing. After all, Inui mostly wanted Kaidoh to listen. Because that enabled him to help his kouhai. And that was all he wanted, right?
Or was it?
Inui leaned against the tree and thought carefully about it. For the first time since he could remember, his mind went completely blank. He'd been at a loss for words before, he'd been unsure of his next course of action, but he'd always had ideas, always had plenty of things he could consider. But in this case, there was nothing to think about, nothing that hadn't been considered. All that was left now was…
"Hey, Inui!"
Startled, Inui looked up to see Oishi standing there with his hands in his pockets. Inui smiled both out of politeness and relief. Somehow, he felt that if anyone else had been standing there, it would have made for a very uncomfortable situation. But it was impossible to feel uncomfortable around Seigaku's vice captain. Also, Inui had been meaning to ask Oishi's opinion on the match.
"How is your wrist feeling?" Inui asked to start.
Oishi clutched it, rotating it a little, but not without a wince. "It's still sore. But it should get better pretty quickly if I take care of it."
"I'm sure it will," Inui replied. Then, after a moment's thought, he added, "I'm sorry you weren't able to play today."
Oishi smiled. "Ah, it's alright. It was actually kind of fun being a spectator. And except for that one thing…" The vice captain's face darkened for a moment, but his smile was back almost as soon as it had left, though not as bright as before. "Well, you know. But except for that, everything worked out better than I'd hoped." Inui had no reply, so the vice captain added, very sincerely, "You played very well today, Inui. It was a good match."
Inui chuckled, sort of nervously, and adjusted his glasses. That was a funny thing to hear, especially after what had just happened with Kaidoh…
"Was it?" he asked, slipping accidentally into a slightly sarcastic tone. He regretted it immediately. Oishi was only trying to be nice. So he explained, "I know that there were a number of reasons why we lost. Actually, I was interested in your opinion."
An ironic smirk appeared on Oishi's face. "Your data doesn't tell you what I'd say?"
Inui nodded knowingly. "I know that you would say it was something far more abstract than my own analysis would tell me."
"Ah, but it can be summed up in one word." The vice captain crossed his arms with the air of an expert.
One word, huh? Inui believed him, but it amazed him nonetheless. One word to explain the loss that Inui and Kaidoh had just endured. One word that made the Golden Pair nearly impossible to defeat. One word that meant the difference between victory and defeat. One word that would change everything.
Why don't you tell me that one word, Oishi?
"I could guess what you'll say," he began. "But why don't you just tell me?"
"Dependence."
Inui nodded. That was about what he would have guessed. It wasn't so complicated, really, and it was so like the vice captain to use such a word. Inui sighed with regret. Perhaps he should have thought of this sooner. Maybe then, they wouldn't have lost.
"But, Inui… you had that."
Inui blinked and looked up. Oishi was smiling sweetly.
"Think about it. You depended completely on Kaidoh to keep the game going. And he depended completely on you to gather the data."
Inui thought about this for a moment. He supposed it was true, but then… Oishi's advice didn't make any sense. If they had what they needed, shouldn't they have won?
"Then why did we lose?" Inui asked with as little emotion as possible.
Oishi's hands went back into his pockets. Almost laughing, he said, "Well, bear in mind, Inui, that you were playing two extremely skilled tennis players. And if it wasn't for that one mistake and your honesty, it looked as if you very well might have beaten them in the end. I'd be surprised if Eiji and I could do that."
Inui was silent for a moment, trying to find a reason for what Oishi was saying. When he could find none off the top of his head, he gave into himself and asked, "Besides perhaps skill, what did those two have that we lacked?"
"Oh, I'm not even sure there was so much difference in skill. Kaidoh's just as stubborn as Shishido and your serve rivals Ootori's. And neither of them have the analytical skills that you do." Here, Oishi paused, as if intentionally trying to make Inui more frustrated. Really, the vice captain always gave good advice, but he had a habit of not getting to the point.
"But…?" Inui finally goaded, uncharacteristically.
"But the difference, if there is one, is very simple." Oishi smiled again. "What sets them apart as a doubles team is their dependence off the court, not just on it."
Inui crossed his arms, trying desperately to figure out how something like that would matter. Once again, though, it was just like the vice captain to say such a thing. But it was ridiculous, wasn't it? Tennis was tennis. The only thing that mattered was what happened on the court.
Wasn't it?
Oishi picked up on Inui's thought train and explained. "I know you think I'm just being sentimental about this point." He laughed. "Maybe so. But it's really helped Eiji and me; it's changed everything, in fact. I'm sure Ootori and Shishido would tell you the same thing." Oishi thought for a moment, searching for a good example to illustrate his point. "If you think about it, the dependence issue is probably why Oshitari and Mukahi were playing second doubles. I'm sure Oshitari could beat Shishido in singles any day. And Mukahi would probably consistently win games against Ootori, as long as he was serving. But I'm sure Mukahi and Oshitari lose to them in doubles every time they've played them. And sure, Ootori's serve is a big advantage. But it won't win a doubles match. So why would they always win?"
Inui had been listening carefully. So far, the vice captain's argument was flawless. In answer to the question, he ventured, "Because they make a better combination?"
Oishi thought for a moment. "Well… in a sense. Mukahi and Oshitari make a perfect combination. Their formations are better, and they've obviously been playing doubles longer. But that's just on the court. They don't even seem to really like each other. And that can really affect their play, even though in tennis, they depend on each other completely."
Inui sighed, remembering that intangible thing that he had noticed in both matches. He supposed that Oishi was right. It was the only logical explanation, if such an explanation could be called "logical." But there was still something that didn't make sense. "I fail to see how that applies to Kaidoh and me…"
"Oh, don't get me wrong!" Oishi sputtered quickly, picking up on the question. "It would be ridiculous for me to think that you and Kaidoh hate each other. In fact, I can tell that you both have a great deal of respect for one another. But do you depend on each other?"
Inui considered this a moment before answering. The answer was yes, wasn't it?
"Kaidoh…"
"What?"
"Do you trust me?"
"Yeah. Why, senpai?"
Somehow, thinking about it now, Kaidoh's answer seemed less certain. Did this "trust" come from a sense of dependence, like Oishi was talking about, or was it just the respect that he mentioned?
This was important. If they were going to play doubles again, something would have to change before they could win. But Inui had no answer to give the vice captain. So he posed another question. "How would one fix such a problem?"
Oishi let out a little breath and looked sideways at the sky, thinking. "Time," he said carefully. "A lot of time. And trust. But to start?" Again he paused, leaving Inui in suspense. "I suppose one of you would have to initiate a sense of openness. Bare your soul, if you will."
Inui felt a chill go down his spine, suddenly feeling like this was all getting deeper than he really wanted to go. What was Oishi saying, exactly? He stood straight and still as he watched the vice captain's eyes land on him again.
"One of you, or both of you, is holding something back," Oishi said cryptically.
"What are you insin—"
"OISHII!"
Both of them were startled by the sudden interruption. Kikumaru came out of nowhere and latched onto Oishi's back in a flying glomp that almost knocked the vice captain off his feet. Not of course, that he would ever let his doubles partner fall.
"What is it, Eiji?" he asked with a cheerful smile, still carrying Kikumaru.
"Momo-chin was looking for you, nya. I think he wanted to thank you for your advice," Eiji replied with sparkling eyes.
Oishi laughed brightly. "Oh, he doesn't need to do that! You two won that match on your own." His expression softened. "I'm so proud of you, Eiji."
The redhead's cheeks turned slightly pink, but he grinned and replied, "Thank you, Oishii."
At the exact same moment, the Golden Pair slipped out of their little world and turned to Inui.
"See you later, Inui," Oishi said happily.
"Yes… See you," he heard himself say.
"Bye-bye!" Kikumaru waved, and the vice captain carried him off on his back.
"Hey, Oishii, let's go get some ice cream on the way home."
"Oh, that sounds good. We should treat Momo."
"Good idea, nya!"
Inui just stood there, not sure what he had just witnessed.
Was that what Oishi had been trying to tell him?
Normally, Inui would not have given this a second's thought. Why would he buy into something so over-the-top, so ridiculous?
But they looked so happy. Inui had to be honest with himself. Somehow…
He was jealous.
Why? Why would he be jealous? It was crazy, really, the kind of friendship the Golden Pair had. After all, didn't everyone make fun of them?
Inui sighed, thinking carefully. Maybe that was why. Maybe, deep down, everyone was just jealous. Maybe that was why they laughed at the Golden Pair.
Right now, Inui wasn't laughing. He was silent, standing all alone, leaning against a tree.
And he was jealous.
Emotions were no part of his game. They were great for other people; other people were led by passion. That's how they succeeded. That's how they made their mark in the world. But Inui had given that up. For him, passion only made failure painful. Failure wasn't painful anymore. When he failed, like he had today, he analyzed the situation, found the reason, and moved on. It didn't hurt now. Now there were only facts, only data. At least, those were the only things that mattered. Feelings didn't. Feelings had no place among the numbers and the charts and the diagrams. Jealousy had no place there. Inui didn't want it there. But he couldn't get rid of it.
What was he so jealous of? What did he want? Just a friend?
That must have been it. A friend. Someone Inui could still be comfortable with when a few feelings snuck in. Someone who he could share those feelings with, without being afraid. And someone who enjoyed being around him.
Inui chuckled darkly at this thought. He brought his hands closer to his face and stared at them, remembering how Kaidoh had trembled. And soon he noticed that his own hands were shaking. He stuck them quickly in his pockets to get them to stop.
What was all of this? He wasn't even thinking straight. It was so unlike him. Normally, his thoughts were logical…
Logic. Yes, he could always go back to that. Logically, this whole episode made sense. He must have been suppressing emotion without realizing it. So this sudden outburst was normal. But what had triggered it?
Kaidoh had run away.
Inui felt again that unfamiliar pain in his chest. The harder he tried to ignore it, the more it hurt.
He began walking away from that horrible spot. Feeling was overrated, he decided.
When Inui got home that evening, he realized that he had nothing to do. Any other day, he would have logged on to his computer to start his analysis of the match. But he didn't really feel like thinking about the match now. At least, not yet.
He glanced at his desk. There was still a stack of paper squares sitting there…
No, he told himself, disgusted. There was no point to that. Folding cranes was where the remnants of his passion lay. That was where he had decided to put it, long ago… No more feeling. Not for now.
It was early, but Inui went to bed. And yet, he hardly got any sleep. Every time he dozed off, he would see that certain face, see it turn and run away, and he would jolt awake.
Why?
Inui was used to being able to answer any question. But this one, he couldn't. It was just one word, but it was too huge to answer.
Inui finally got up at about 3:00 am and started inputting data into his computer, using the notes he had taken the day before. It helped him relax. He strategically avoided his notes on the first doubles match.
The phone rang at about 5:30.
Who in the world…? Inui waited for his mother to pick up the phone in her room.
"Sadaharu!" she called moments later.
He rushed out into the hall and grabbed the portable phone. "I've got it!" he called back, nervously anticipating whatever voice was awaiting him on the other line.
"Hello?" He forced his voice to sound calm.
"Senpai."
Kaidoh? Of all people, Inui would have never expected him… Not after what happened…
Why was he calling?
Inui took the phone into his room and shut the door behind him. "Yes. Good morning, Kaidoh."
"Could you help me train today, senpai?"
The third-year felt the sting leave his chest. He had forgotten it was still there.
"Sure, I'd… I mean…" Inui cleared his throat. "Yes. Yes, of course. When?"
"As soon as possible, senpai… If that's alright…"
"Certainly. I'll meet you at the school in…" He looked at his watch without really reading it. "Twenty minutes."
As soon as Inui hung up, he was hit with a sudden feeling of dread. Training? Train for what? He had absolutely nothing prepared.
He started to panic. Maybe he should call Kaidoh back, say he wasn't feeling well. No… obviously a lie. Well, not really; he was starting to feel sick to his stomach. But then it would still seem like a lie… Kaidoh would probably ask…
Inui smacked his forehead for being so stupid. This wasn't a big deal.
His mind was still going a mile a minute. Sleep… Yes, maybe he should have gotten more sleep. But now, he had to go.
While he was frantically getting ready, a thought occurred to him.
Kaidoh had called him.
He turned this over again in his mind.
Kaidoh had called him. Kaidoh had called him. He had called, and he wanted to train. Together.
This was just one of those things no amount of data could support.
Inui shook his head. Was it really so unnatural? Kaidoh was upset about the match, so obviously he would want to start training again as soon as possible, to get better. And training with Inui had become a habit.
Yes, that made sense. It was a habit.
He sighed. Maybe he was over-analyzing. Although, he'd always thought there was no such thing as "over-analyzing"…
Still, this situation somehow seemed to be something that someone like Oishi would know more about.
Inui thought over all of the advice Oishi had given him. Some of it still made no sense to Inui. Part of him wanted to just forget it all. But…
Kaidoh had said they would play doubles again.
Had he really meant it?
Of course he had, Inui concluded. Kaidoh wouldn't say something like that unless he meant it. Maybe that was why he wanted to train together today. It couldn't hurt to talk to him about it.
Inui got out his notebook. Perhaps he should write down what he could remember of the vice captain's advice. What had he said was the key? Dependence. That was obvious. Time, lots of it. And trust. Openness, had he said? Something like that…
Inui stopped for a moment. Was there anything substantial in any of this?
He closed his notebook and looked at his watch. He was going to be late. As he rushed out the door, he knew exactly what training he and Kaidoh would be doing that day.
Nothing.
…
Inui arrived at the school more than ten minutes later than he had promised. He found Kaidoh leaning against the side of the clubhouse, looking like he had been waiting for quite some time. Inui didn't call out to him. Instead, he just stood there, noticing the soft expression on Kaidoh's face, the way the loose strands of his hair fluttered in the light breeze. It didn't take long, though, for the second-year to look up and notice him there.
He stood up straigher. "Senpai."
Inui smiled as he walked up to his teammate. "Sorry I'm late, Kaidoh."
Kaidoh studied Inui with a strange look on his face.
"What is it, Kaidoh?"
"Senpai… it's just…" He didn't seem quite sure how to phrase his observation. "Where is… I mean… You don't have your notebook with you."
Inui laughed aloud. "Do I look that strange without it?" Kaidoh looked away, embarrassed. Inui smiled at this and scratched the back of his neck. "I suppose I do. I just figured I didn't need it today."
Kaidoh looked at him again, still a bit perplexed. "What do you have planned, then, senpai? Are we just running, or…"
"Nothing. I have nothing planned."
There was a long pause. Kaidoh was looking at Inui like he was something from another planet. But somehow, Inui didn't care. "Would you like to go for a walk?"
"What?"
"A walk," Inui repeated, tempted to laugh again. Kaidoh was taking this so seriously. Normally, he would have too, but for once, it felt really good not to. "C'mon," he said when Kaidoh didn't respond. He started to walk, and within a few seconds, his teammate was walking with him, still not sure what to make of the situation.
At about the end of the block, Inui spoke. "I wanted to talk to you again about the match. First of all, you never let me apologize…"
"Senpai, you didn't—"
"Ah ah ah…" Inui stopped walking to put a finger to Kaidoh's lips. "Let me finish."
When Inui took his finger away, Kaidoh blinked twice. Inui thought he saw a hint of pink in the second-year's cheeks. They continued walking.
"I wanted to apologize for the error in my calculations. I pushed your limits too much at the end. I should have known better."
Kaidoh was watching the ground in front of him. "I told you, senpai, it wasn't your fault. You shouldn't blame yourself."
"Then you don't blame yourself, either."
Kaidoh looked up at him, unsure what to say. Inui returned the look with a smile. Then he changed the subject.
"Is there anything you'd like to do? We could get something to eat…"
Kaidoh's eyes narrowed. "Something to eat?" he repeated, completely baffled.
"Well, of course, we don't have to…"
"What about training?"
"What about it?"
"Weren't we going to… I dunno. Senpai, you're acting weird."
Inui couldn't resist a smile. "Kaidoh, when was the last time you just relaxed?"
Kaidoh thought for a moment. "I don't know, but it probably hasn't been as long for me as it has for you, senpai."
Inui nodded. He couldn't argue with that; it had been a long time.
"Say, Kaidoh, do you have anything else to do today?"
Kaidoh stuck his hands in his pockets. "I guess not. Why?"
"Do you want to just… hang out?"
The second-year didn't respond right away. Inui swallowed, afraid that Kaidoh would refuse.
The silence was making him uneasy. So he asked, "What, you don't want to?"
Kaidoh flinched, apparently just realizing that he hadn't said anything. "No, it's not that!" He rubbed the back of his head. "It's just that… I can't remember the last time I hung out with a friend…"
Inui smiled at the word, "friend." He pushed up his glasses and asked, "Have you had breakfast yet?"
"No."
"Me neither. You know what sounds really good right now?"
"Uh… what, senpai?"
"A cinnamon roll."
Again, Kaidoh gave Inui a strange look. "That's not exactly healthy…"
Inui couldn't help chuckling at the characteristic comment. "Well, no. But somehow, today I couldn't care less."
They spent the entire day together, just relaxing and doing whatever they wanted. Inui had his cinnamon roll and convinced Kaidoh to have one too. They saw a movie, liked it, saw it again, had an early lunch, went shopping at some of their favorite tennis stores but didn't buy anything, wasted an hour at an arcade, and had an early dinner. But Inui's favorite part was the time they spent walking from place to place, just talking. To his surprise, they never ran out of things to talk about. They shared jokes and laughs, and discussed everything from tennis to the weather.
It was getting late, and they were walking somewhere near the school when Inui stopped dead in his tracks.
"What is it, senpai?" Kaidoh asked, slightly behind him.
A smile crept onto Inui's face. How had their feet carried them here?
"Remember this place, Kaidoh?"
Kaidoh looked, but neither of them said anything. They didn't need to.
They were standing by the canal.
Memories poured themselves into Inui's head.
"Kaidoh… Want to team up with me in doubles?"
So much had changed since then. Had that really happened just a week ago? It seemed so much farther away…
Inui started down the grassy slope.
"What are you doing, senpai?"
"C'mon," was all Inui said. He sat down before he reached the bottom. Soon his teammate was sitting next to him.
There was a long silence. Inui's mind was busy thinking about everything that had happened in the past week. But this time, he didn't just think about it. This time, he allowed himself to feel.
And he had to smile.
He sighed happily and leaned back, resting his hands behind his head. "Beautiful sunset, don't you think?"
"Yeah…" Kaidoh trailed off. Inui noticed that the second-year turned to look at him a moment later, but he continued gazing at the orange and golden sky.
Kaidoh eased himself down to a lying position. Inui closed his eyes. There was something about just lying there, next to Kaidoh…
Inui opened his eyes again and watched the clouds go by. Everything seemed perfect. Inui suddenly wondered if the Golden Pair ever went cloud-watching.
Inui propped himelf up on one elbow. Maybe Kaidoh was getting bored. "Hey, Kaidoh…"
He stopped himself immediately. Kaidoh was asleep.
Inui smiled. I shouldn't wake him.
He watched a few more clouds go by, then yawned. Maybe Kaidoh had the right idea. It was so peaceful and warm right now…
Inui took off his glasses and set them to the side. With another yawn, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
-end of chapter 10-
Hope you liked it! XD