Juliet opened her eyes and looked at the clock. Five am. It was too early to be awake but she couldn't fall asleep again. So she decided to get some coffee in the kitchen. She left the bedroom. The house was dark and silent. Probably James was still asleep.
She walked by their guest room. Now it was his bedroom. He agreed to stay with her and to try to fix the problem together but he was adamant that they maintain distance between them. "The farther the better" were his words. It was so painful for her but she had to accept the situation because she couldn't let him go. Now each time he entered the room he tried to sit as far from the door as was possible, in order to give her an easy way to escape the room, if she heeded to. That made her heart bleed and she cursed all those people who were the reason James hated himself now.
She tried the door. Locked. Well, she expected it to be.
/Yesterday/
He didn't leave. Juliet didn't thought that someday she would be happy because of such a simple thing. But she really couldn't imagine what she would do without him. The only thing she was absolutely sure about was that there was no chance she would let him go. Maybe she would chase him or simple knock him out and lock in the basement. But she was glad that she didn't have to do any of those things. He stayed with her!
She went to the bedroom where he slept now. Separate bedrooms were one of his conditions. No problem. She could live with that as long as he was with her. All they needed was time and they would solve any problems.
Juliet opened the door and looked in. The lamp near his bed was turned on, an open book lay on his chest and James was fast asleep. He looked so cute and calm now with his hands still clasping the book and his glasses slipping aside. It looked so normal; it was just their life wasn't normal anymore. They didn't read together as she had gotten used to. He was alone here and there was no one with him to turn off the light or put his book on the table.
Juliet stepped closer to the bed. Now she could see which book James was reading. Of course it was "Of Mice and Men", his favorite book. She had never understood that. For her it was rather scary book about death and now she was even more frightened by his choice of book. Did he still think that his death would be the best way to resolve everything?
She carefully took the book from his chest and put it near the lamp. Then she reached her hand to take off his glasses. She didn't want him to break them or hurt himself accidentally in the sleep. She almost had them when suddenly he opened eyes and grabbed her hand. Juliet flinched and tried to free herself but he was too strong for her.
No! Not again! Not now!
She tried harder to free her hand, but he held her with a stranglehold. So she stopped and looked at him. Was it the Monster? She couldn't understand it. Those few minutes felt like hours for Juliet but finally James shuddered, left her hand go and closed his eyes with a sigh.
-Why did you come here? - He asked hoarsely with his eyes still closed.
-I wanted to make sure you were okay.-
-Never do that again.-
-But what if…-
-Never! - He shouted at her and turned away.
Juliet went to the kitchen and made herself coffee. She sat down at the table with a cup and some magazine. She had to wait for him to come out of the room.
She finished with Sudoku and began solving crosswords when he finally woke up and came out of the bedroom.
-Good morning- she smiled at him putting the magazine aside.
He silently nodded, poured himself some coffee and returned to his room.
The smile left Juliet's face. Yes, she knew how hard it was for him. She knew that she had to be strong for both of them, but she didn't expect it to be so hard. With each passing minute he appeared to be going further and further away from her. Lately they hardly exchanged any words. He spent all time in his room and she let him do that because she thought that he needed some time alone to think. But they couldn't live like that forever.
She stood up and followed him. He sat near the window with the cup in his hands but it looked like he had absolutely forgotten about it.
-James-she called him.
He turned to her but didn't say anything. He just looked at her. "Speak to me!" she wanted to yell but instead she said harshly –Stop acting like a baby! It doesn't solve the problem!-
His expression didn't change. He wore a mask of indifference.
-Maybe I can't imagine how hard it is for you, but I'm sure that we'll be able to fix it, together. So stop feeling sorry for yourself, James and help me fix it.-
He winced as if she had punched him in the gut but she was right and he knew that.
-What do you suggest I do? - His voice was hoarse because of keeping silent for so long.
Juliet congratulated herself inwardly. It was a small step, but still it was a step forward.
-We have to understand what the reason for your outbursts is. Then we will be able to control them.-
He flinched nervously but managed to keep himself under control.
-As I see it, there are only two options. First, you are very angry at somebody or something. Second, you're asleep. It looks easy for me to diagnose the first one, all you need to do is to study how to control yourself. You have to think twice about every word and action, checking whether these words belong to you or not.-
-Great! - James murmured but Juliet was happy to see any reaction other than absolute indifference.
-I'm not sure about the second one. - She stopped immediately noticing the painful expression on his face. How stupid she was to talk about it? she chided herself. Should she let this topic drop before she could understand the whole thing?
-Let's start with some relaxation.-she said lightly.
-No!-he said sharply.
-Why? You have to calm down a little.- she tried to spoke in calm, low voice.
-I'm not an Einstein, but it's obvious to me what the difference between night and day is. At night I lose control, I'm too vulnerable. So forget about any relaxation techniques.-
She nodded embarrassed. He was absolutely right and she was the one who had to think about it.
-Okay, what about yoga? It has nothing to do with relaxation; it's about clearing your mind. It'll help you control yourself. –
James was silent for some time but then he nodded.-Okay-
-Good-she sighed with relief.-I've found some books about it, we can look at them this evening.-
-Why this evening and not now?-he asked, surprised.
-Because now we are going to the shop. We are almost out of the food.-
He looked so shocked by her statement that she tried her best to keep herself from laughing.
-Do you really think that you can sit in your room forever while I make you dinners?- She arched her eyebrow. –You aren't ill, James. So it's time for you to start learning how to live a normal life and shopping will be your first step.-
-I don't think that it's a good idea. - He frowned.
-What a pity, because we ARE going to the shop.-
She wasn't sure about her pressing him like this but he had to leave this room.
James looked at her gloomily, stood up and went to the door. She looked at him wandering whether it was 'yes' or 'no'. As if feeling her doubts he turned to her
-What?-he barked out.-I'm going to the bathroom to be ready for our little trip as you said. What did I do wrong now?-
-Nothing-she smiled.
A/N: Don't forget about reviews or at least tell me if you are still interested in the story.