Urgent phone call
This emerged from a discussion of how one should, or rather shouldn't, update LoTR.
Scene: the slopes of Mount Doom. Sam is struggling upwards when his mobile phone plays a short phrase from the Star Wars theme.
Sam (hoarsely): Sam here. Who's that?
PHONE: It's Ara... s ... thorn sometimes known as ...ssar, Chief of the D... and heir to the thrones of Gon ... and ...rnor.
Sam: what was that? Sorry, reception's very bad here, must be the electrical disturbance from the eruption. Is that Strider?
PHONE: Yes, how are you ...ting on?
Sam: I think we're almost there, but Boss Frodo looks bad.
PHONE: ...dalf says to look out for Go...um.
Sam: You're telling me! How are you getting on with the diversionary tactic?
PHONE: not bad, looks as if the fi ...te.
Sam: What?
PHONE: LOOKS AS IF THE FI ...TE.
Sam: WHAT?
PHONE: IT LOOKS AS IF THE FISH WILL BITE.
Sam: What fish?
PHONE: Never mind. We'll try and keep the Nazgul ...your hair.
Sam: You do that. Here come the Cracks of Doom, they say not even Vodafone works in there, call you back later. Byee!...
(Gollum jumps him.)
GOLLUM: Got you, you nassty little sneak! Stole my mobile, it did! And a nice shiney one with full Internet compatibility, preciousssss!
(The vision fades, and not before time.)