Chelsea rested her head on the desk, stealing a few moments sleep before she jerked awake at eleven thirty. Rubbing her eyes, Chelsea looked around her bored classmates and slumped back into her seat. Bender had his scarf tied around his head and started to whistle a marching tune. Everybody slowly joined in. The tune was familiar even if Chelsea couldn't remember what it was from. She really needed to study her music. Vernon entered and the whistling quickly died out. Bender looked down and whistled Beethoven's fifth.
Vernon examined everyone's faces, "All right girls, that's thirty minutes for lunch..."
"Here?" Andrew asked, in disbelief.
"Here..."
"Well I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place for us to eat lunch in, sir!"
"Well, I don't care what you think, Andrew!"
"Uh, Dick? Excuse me, Rich...will milk be made available to us?" Bender was trying to be polite, while simultaneously as rude as possible.
"We're extremely thirsty sir..." Andrew chimed in.
"I have a really low tolerance for dehydration." Claire decided to help.
"I've seen her dehydrate sir, it's pretty gross." Andrew said. Claire shot Andrew a gaze. She knew he was validating his point, but was still mildly insulted.
Bender started to stand up. "Relax, I'll get it!"
"Ah, ah, ah grab some wood there, bub!" Vernon said. Bender smiled, and sat down. He started to nod, agreeing with what Vernon was saying. "What do you think, I was born yesterday? You think I'm gonna have you roaming these halls? You!" He pointed at Andrew. Andrew pointed to Claire, trying to get Vernon to pick her. Claire straightened up slightly. "And you! Hey! What's her name? Wake her! Wake her up! Hey, come on, on your feet missy! Let's go! This is no rest home!" Allison grabbed her bag, and stood. "There's a soft drink machine in the teacher's lounge. Let's go!"
Vernon led the other two out into the hall, and went into his office. Everybody stared at each other when the door slammed. Brian started snapping his fingers, but stopped when he realized that no one was joining in. Claire pulled a compact out of her purse, and re-applied her lipstick. Chelsea put her book and notebook away in her satchel and jumped up. Walking to the back of the library, she ran her fingers over books that hadn't been checked out in years.
Sitting in front of a computer, Chelsea tried to start it up, but it wasn't working. Sighing she leant back and traced the scratches in the desk it previous occupants had left behind. Bender came over. He randomly snagged a book off one of the shelves from the medical section and jumped up on the bookshelf next to her. After a few minutes Claire waltzed over. Chelsea glanced at her, glaring slightly. Claire leaned on the abstract statue a few feet away from the group. She started moving around it absent-mindedly, as if she was dreaming.
Bender was staring at her. "Claire...you wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitus of the nuts? It's pretty tasty..."
Claire grimaced. "No thank you..."
"How do you think he rides a bike?" Bender wondered aloud. Claire rolled her eyes and turned away in disgust. Chelsea groaned in distaste. "Oh, Claire...would you ever consider dating a guy like this?"
"Can't you just leave me alone?" she pleaded.
"I mean if he had a great personality and was a good dancer and had a cool car..." Bender continued. He paused for a second and re-examined the picture. "Although you'd probably have to ride in the back seat 'cause his nuts would ride shotgun."
Claire turned again and looked at Chelsea. She asked her, "You know what I wish I was doing?" Chelsea was surprised but shrugged.
Bender chose that moment to jump in. "Oh, watch what you say, Brian here is a cherry."
"A cherry?" Brian asked. He couldn't possibly be so dense.
"I wish I was on a plane to France." Claire continued.
Chelsea turned away as she heard the computer whir to life. Playing a game of tic-tac-toe, she tried to distract herself from the boys behind her. She was soon able to immerse herself in the technology. "Oh, you and Claire, did it!" Bender said loudly.
Claire turned to the boys at the sound of her name. Chelsea turned as well. "What are you talking about?"
Brian looked at Claire, a little afraid, "Nothin', nothin!" He looked at Bender. "Let's just drop it; we'll talk about it later!"
"No! Drop what, what're you talking about?" Claire said.
"Yeah," Chelsea chimed in. "Why can't we talk about it now?"
Bender stared at Claire. "Well, Brian's trying to tell me that in addition to the number of girls in the Niagara Falls area, that presently you and he are, riding the hobby horse!"
Claire made a face at Brian. "Little pig!" Chelsea raised her eyebrows. She only knew the guy for a few hours, but it didn't sound like something that he would say.
"No I'm not! I'm not! John said I was a cherry and I said I wasn't, that's it, that's all that was said!" Brian was pointing frantically at himself, trying to prove his innocence.
Bender pointed at Claire, "Well then what were you motioning to Claire for?"
"You know I don't appreciate this very much, Brian." Claire told him. Chelsea sighed, and shook her head. Bender had a way with words, all right.
Brian jabbed a finger at Bender. "He is lying!"
"Oh you weren't motioning to her?" Bender said, motioning to the girl. Claire looked at Chelsea helplessly. She shrugged in return.
"You know he's lying, right?" Claire looked back and forth between the two boys, unsure of who to trust. "Yeah, but it was only...was only because I didn't want her to know that I was a virgin, okay?" Bender just stared at Brian. "Excuse me for being a virgin, I'm sorry..."
Claire smiled at him and moved closer. Chelsea leaned back, smiling between the two. Claire sat on the edge of a desk. "Why didn't you want me to know you were a virgin?"
"Because it's personal business, it's my personal, private business."
Bender looked down at Brian. "Well Brian, it doesn't sound like you're doing any business..."
"I think its okay for a guy to be a virgin..." Claire said. Chelsea nodded in agreement. Bender stared at the two girls, barely masking amazement under anger.
"You do?" Brian asked, surprised. Claire glanced at Bender, taking in the expression on his face before smiling at Brian with a nod. Bender sighed and sat back. Chelsea glanced at Bender and smiled.
Andrew and Allison came into the library, empty-handed. Chelsea walked back to the front of the room, stopping by her own desk to grab her lunch bag before sitting in front of Andrew. Allison reached into her purse and pulled out six cans of Coke. Chelsea smiled at her and grabbed one.
Andrew and Claire sat in their seats on either side of Chelsea. Bender pulled up his seat in front of Chelsea. Claire pulled a silver shopping bag on the desk and started pulling out a bento box set. Chelsea saw the set and smiled at Claire. But Claire didn't notice.
"What's in there?" Bender asked her.
"Guess," She told him sarcastically.
"Where's your lunch?" Chelsea asked him.
"You're wearing it..." Bender growled. Chelsea blushed and looked back in her bag.
Claire muttered, "You're nauseating..."
Bender grabbed a Coke and tossed it over his shoulder to Allison. She caught it without looking up. Bender watched as Claire open the bento box, and poured herself a small dish of soy sauce.
"What's that?" He asked.
"Sushi..." Claire said simply.
"Sushi?"
"Rice, uh, raw fish and seaweed." Claire laughed a little. She exchanged a look with Chelsea, who smiled back. The boys were staring at each other, surprised.
Bender looked confused. "You won't accept a guys tongue in your mouth and you're gonna eat that?"
"Can I eat?" Claire asked.
"I don't know..." Bender said, uncertain. "Give it a try..."
Andrew pulled out a giant bag of crinkly chips from his paper bag. Chelsea stared at him, as he pulled out three sandwiches, a bag of cookies, a quart of milk, a banana and an apple. He scooted his chair in and got ready to eat. Chelsea shook her head and pulled her own bag onto the desk. Thankfully, she was smart enough to pick up something after school the day before. She fished out an Italian sandwich wrapped in parchment paper. She then pulled out a small bag of chips and a bar of chocolate. Chelsea also pulled out a banana, which she stared at for a second before stuffing in the bottom of her bag. Opening the Coke, she took a giant gulp, and nearly gagged. Chelsea only drank Coke when she went out. Which she hadn't in the past six weeks.
Allison opened her Coke, which fizzed over. She slurped up everything that spilled and licked her fingers. Andrew opened his first sandwich and noticed Chelsea, Bender and Claire staring at him. "What's your problem?" He asked. Chelsea quickly looked back at her sandwich and said a quick prayer before digging in.
Allison opened her sandwich and made a face at the pastrami. She tossed it over her shoulder, where it landed on the top of the sculpture. Allison opened several Pixi Stix and poured the sugar on the slices of bread. All of the teens were starting to stare at her. She took a bag of Captain Crunch and began to shove handfuls of the cereal into the sandwich. She crushed the sandwich together and loudly took a bite.
Bender stood up and sat next to Brian. He grabbed Brian's bag and handed him a Coke. "So, what're we having?" He asked, in a cordial tone.
"Uh, it's your standard, regular lunch I guess..." Brian told him, a little confused.
Bender reached into the paper bag and pulled out the first thing his fingers touched. A thermos. "Milk?"
"Uh, soup," Brian answered. Bender started to fish around in the bag again. Brian reached over to it, but the other teen smacked his hand away. Bender pulled out a small box, a little bigger than a pack of cigarettes and stared at it for a second, the tiniest smile on his face. "Apple juice."
"I can read," Bender told him. "PB & J with the crusts cut off...Well Brian, this is a very nutritious lunch, all the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?" He asked with a condescending tone.
"Uh no," Brian answered honestly. He was so naïve it was a little sad. "Mr. Johnson."
Andrew exchanged a smile with Claire and Chelsea. Bender stood up and moved into the aisle. "Here's my impression of life at big Bri's house... (in a loud and friendly voice) Son! (in a kiddie voice) Yeah Dad? (loud) How's your day, pal? (kiddie) Great Dad, how's yours? (loud) Super, say son, how'd you like to go fishing this weekend? (kiddie) Great Dad, but I've got homework to do! (loud) That's alright son, you can do it, on the boat! (kiddie) Geee! (loud) Dear, isn't our son swell? (quiet and motherly) Yes Dear, isn't life swell?" Bender mimed Mother kissing Father and then Father kissing Mother. He then had Father punching Mother in the face. Everyone had been smiling until a certain moment, then it wasn't so funny anymore. Brian sunk into his seat, more embarrassed than when Carl came in.
Andrew stared at Bender, "All right, what about your family?"
"Oh, mine?" he pointed at himself. "That's real easy." He straightened up and readjusted himself. He positioned his hand as if he was holding a bottle of beer. "(as his father) Stupid, worthless, no good, God damned, freeloading, son of a bitch,. Retarded, bigmouth, know it all, asshole, jerk! (as his mother) You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful-" Bender slammed his hand back to slap his invisible mother. "(as his father) Shut up, bitch! Go fix me a turkey pot pie!" He started speaking as himself, angrier and angrier as he argued with his 'father.' "What about you Dad? (as his father) Fuck you! (as himself) No, Dad, what about you? (as his father) Fuck you! (as himself-yelling) No, Dad, what about you? (as his father-yelling) Fuck you!" He slapped a hand in the air and recoiled.
Brian straightened up. "Is that for real?"
"You wanna come over some time?" Bender deadpanned. Brian shook his head and shrunk into his seat a little.
"That's bullshit. It's all part of your image, I don't believe a word of it." Andrew told him.
Bender actually looked offended. "You don't believe me?"
"No."
"No?"
"Did I stutter?" Andrew asked the criminal. Bender marched over to Andrew and pulled his sleeve up to the crook of his elbow. Chelsea immediately noticed a circular burn mark on his arm. It was about the size of a quarter. She wanted to look away but a sick fascination kept her eyes glued in place. Her fingers ached to trace the scar.
"Believe this? Huh? It's the size of a cigar...Do I stutter? You see, this is what you get in my house when you spill paint in the garage." Andrew and Claire looked away uncomfortably, but Chelsea couldn't tear her eyes away from the boy. He shoved his sleeve down and backed up. "See I don't think that I need to sit here with you fuckin' dildos anymore!"
He walked over to a table with maps on it and hesitated for a moment, before flinging all of the maps off the top. He yelled and climbed on top of the table, pulling himself on the stairs, where he sat to sulk.
"You shouldn't have said that," Claire told Andrew.
"How was I supposed to know?" He asked her. "He lies about everything else anyway."
Andrew looked over at Chelsea, who gave him a look of pure disappointment. Standing up she moved to the staircase, and carefully started up. The library was fairly old, but the carpet was still thick, so he didn't turn around as she came closer.
Slinging her legs over the edge of the landing, Chelsea glanced at the lanky teenager. "So," she started out lightly. "Wanna get outta here?"
Bender stared at her incredulously. "What?"
"See the world?" she joked. When Bender glared, she lightly nudged his shoulder. "Joking! I was joking! Do you wanna go to your locker?"
Bender stared at her for a second before smirking. "And why would I need to go there?"
"'Cause you got awfully scared when Carl threatened to clean out your locker," Chelsea smiled at the punk. "Do we need to go on a recon mission?"
Bender stood up. "Sure," he drawled. "If that's what the bookworm wants. Let's round up Mystery Inc."