Disclaimer: I do not own any part of D. Gray-man nor any of its characters. I can only close my eyes and quietly play dress up with said characters in my head and hope I'm not desecrating Hoshino Katsura's work too much.

For those of you who care, Author's Notes will be at the end of every chapter and any and all questions will be gleefully answered if asked.

She lives on Love Street

Lingers long on Love Street

She has a house and garden

I would like to see what happens

"Uh Neah, not that we're not delighted to see you, but um… what are you doing here?" Neah was shaken out of his dejected state by Rhode's simple, and quite reasonable, question. She stared up at him with the childlike confusion of one who can't comprehend the true depths of misery. A few of the other Noah looked up as well; as if each had been secretly wondering the same thing, but had been too embarrassed to ask. Neah put a coy and completely insincere smile on his face.

"What are you talking about?" Of course he did know, it was a beautiful Friday afternoon just about five o'clock and it seemed the sun was shining just about everywhere except here. On days like these, Neah was always decidingly absent from the company of his fellow Noah, usually hanging out with his exorcist friends somewhere in the world. It didn't surprise him to see his siblings eyeing him warily at his sudden presence amongst them. Rhode cocked her head.

"Well, it's just you never hang out with us. The only time I really see you is at dinner and the few times we go out together." The smile felt heavy on his face and sheer will was the only thing that kept it up. By the way he smiled around here; the others must've thought he was so relaxed all the time.

"Just felt like a change of pace, you know, I wanted to see what you all did here." He didn't miss the unbelieving scoff that came from Amora's direction. She turned to him with an incredulous expression.

"You don't have to lie Neah; we all know that you hate us and that you're only here because you have to be." She chuckled as she picked up a flower from the vase at the table she was sitting on. She lazily twirled it between her long grey fingers. "You can't hide much in this family. We all know that the Earl's favorite got into trouble for skipping dinner a while back. We know that he took away your brother and your freedom and confined you to Edo as punishment." She lovingly plucked a petal from the flower and let it rain down to the floor.

"We know that you're upset because you love your secret excursions into the human world, which I'm sorry to say, really aren't that secret." Another petal was viciously plucked and followed its sibling onto the cold, unrelenting floor.

"We know that you don't like us because you're too damn soft for your own good. We also know that the Earl is now regretting indulging your weaknesses and is now conflicted as to where your true loyalties lie." The dying flower lost another guiltless petal taken in soft malice, almost beautiful in its cruelty. She turned her eyes up at Neah as she spun the near naked stem with languid precision.

"We know that despite your Noah genes; you are not, and probably never will be, one of us. We know that you cling to your lowly human ideals and stain our clan's name with your filthy moralities. We also know that a day will come in the future where either we won't need you or you won't need us. And on that glorious day, brother dear, we will eradicate your existence and win this war without your weighty compassionate heart to drag us down." She crumpled the remaining stem with a strength that caused green droplets to drip menacingly between her fingers.

Her palm opened and the dead plant hit the ground in soundless agony. Neah swallowed and struggled to maintain his breathing as the others just stared. The large room was silent except for the hushed heartbeats of the Noah clan. Amora slowly stood, as if unaware of the awed tension she had caused. She lazily stretched her arms and smiled leisurely.

"I do believe the air in this room has become pungent with the stench of benevolence. Those who can't stand its bitter stench can join me elsewhere, where only real Noah are welcomed." With one last haughty glare thrown over her shoulder; she sauntered out the room, her hips swaying with pride, armed with the knowledge everyone would follow her.

The remaining Noah sat silent for a few moments more before Edmund and Hassan stood up and exited the room. They said nothing as they left, but Edmund gave a vague growl under his breath as he passed Neah. Daniel prayed to his Lord the entire time he walked to the door, speaking loudly and vehemently as if trying to ward off the one who had betrayed his God.

Denis sighed and proclaimed that all the interesting people had left and walked out the room, all the while giving Neah a look that said 'I told you so'. Saoirse kicked her feet as she contemplated her next move, frowning; she decided that she would go for a walk. Shohei, of course, was immediately behind her. Neither spared Neah even a glance as they left. The other nearly nameless three, who were always silent and unobtrusive during these times, got up and left as well.

Rhode looked around the empty room with saddened exasperation and then back at Neah.

"You know that she was just kidding. We're just all frustrated and this room is a bit stuffy. Why don't we join them in the other room, I'm sure it's nicer in there." A small, sad smile, so different from the ones he normally gave her, appeared on his face.

"I don't think that would make much of a difference. Why don't you go on, I think I'll just sit here for a little bit." She pursued her lips as she was forced to choose between family members. Eventually though, only Neah and Analyse remained in the room. She sat indifferently on the couch with a large book in her hands; she peered up at Neah over the top of the book.

"In case you are wondering, I am not leaving. I really should be thanking you for vacating those ruffians from my reading area." Neah ignored her and looked down as his hands nervously twitched piano chords on his pants. Dammit, he wanted to leave so badly, but where would he go? "It seems you can no longer balance both of your lives, brother. You must choose either the Noah or the Innocence. As a word of caution, while the side of God may bring you happiness and peace of mind, the side of the Earl will bring you survival. The choice is, of course, all yours."

Neah's hands shook as her honeyed words laid out the situation he had been so desperate to avoid. He quickly stood up and made his way out of the room. He had to get out of there, out of the oppressive room with Analyse, out of Edo, out of his collapsing life. Damn the Earl and his punishment, he needed… he needed Lizzy. Goddammit, more than anything, even more than Mana, right now he wanted Lizzy to tell him that everything would be okay. Without a care for who was watching, he summoned a gate to European Headquarters.

Only once he arrived in the dark, abandoned room they used did he realize how late it was there. Doing the math in his head, he realized with dismay that it was after midnight here in the London and all the hardworking warriors of God, including Lizzy, were sleeping soundly. He considered turning around right then and there, but... but he was just so confused, so alone. He needed to see Lizzy right now. He pursed his lips, he would just stop by for a few minutes and calm down and hop back to Edo without her ever knowing he was there.

Thank god he knew the way to her room as it was ridiculously close to the science department. He softly opened the door and found her in her bed, the covers half off of her sleeping body and her limbs all tangled up in what covers remained. His heart immediately relaxed, she always had that sort of effect on him. He silently entered, so to not to disturb her well-deserved slumber. He pulled up a chair beside her and just enjoyed watching her deep breaths.

It wasn't stalking, he told himself quietly as he watched, he was just making sure she was alright was all.

She looked so peaceful lying there without any worries in the world; it was nice to see her so relaxed for once. The trials and tribulations of his life bled over into hers, she had been suffering just as greatly as he as of late. He sighed softly, wishing he could do more for her. Alas, it seemed all he could do was pull her covers up; she shifted but otherwise remained motionless. He never wanted to hurt her or to get her involved in something so dangerous.

B-but he didn't know what he would do without her, he had come to rely on her steady smile and calm intelligence. He brushed his fingers lightly against her fine hair, even sound asleep she looked absolutely beautiful. Neah thought not for the first time how lucky he was to have such a wonderful person in his life. Russet eyes blearily opened as a soft moan escape her lips. He quickly withdrew his hand and tried to fade into the darkness.

"Cross? Is that you?" she asked, sitting up with a small yawn, he frowned, what would Cross be doing here in the middle of the night? He quickly pushed such unpleasant thoughts out of his head as Lizzy ruffled her sleep addled hair. She squinted her eyes and looked closer.

"Neah? What are doing here? Do you-yawn- have any idea what time it is?" How did she- Ah, the eyes, he's never changed out of his Noah skin coming from Edo and the glowing golden eyes tended to be a bit of a giveaway in the darkness. He let his skin fade as he grinned clumsily; he hadn't intended on being caught and was thus unsure of what to say to her. How could he explain his presence without sounding like a total creep? She rubbed her eyes and fumbled for the lamp on the table, the sudden light made both of them wince. Yawning once more, she looked at him a little more alert.

"Is there something wrong? Did you need something?" she asked sweetly, seemingly unconcerned by the fact that he had just pulled her from blissful sleep. And for what? Because his family hated him? As if that was news to anyone. He started playing with his hands nervously, turning away from her worried face.

"I-I'm sorry to wake you. I mean, I just needed to get away and I uh didn't know where else to go. It was pretty stupid now that I think about it. I'll just pop out and let you get back to sleep." He said standing up abruptly. There was no need to bother her, or her rather sheer nightgown, any further.

"I'm already awake so you might as well stay. Why don't you tell me what's bothering you, I know better than anyone that sometimes an open set of ears is all you need to put a problem into perspective." He smiled appreciatively as she made room for him on the bed. He hesitated only for a moment before he slowly sat next to her. He took a deep breath as she laid her head on his shoulder and rolled her eyes up to him, waiting for him to begin.

He didn't really know what to say, but her understanding eyes suddenly opened the gates and before he knew it, he was telling her everything- and he meant everything. He explained all of the troubles he'd been experiencing in Edo, how the Earl was beginning to lose faith in him, the ever widening cavern between him and the Noah and the general stresses he'd endured from juggling two lives on top of the constant threat of death.

Lizzy listened patiently, never once stopping him as he poured his heart and troubles onto her. It felt so good to get it all off of his chest, but he felt slightly guilty afterwards, what right had he to complain when he knew things were getting just as hard here at the Order?

"Damn Neah, your life sucks." She said after he had finished his outburst. He chuckled; he loved how she could sum up everything he felt in so few words. She leaning against his shoulder and he was all too aware of how thin her nightgown was, he fought down the blush that threatened to mark his face. "I never knew you had it so hard, I mean, it's been hard for all of us, but you've never said anything." She said quietly, cuddling closer. "It makes me sad to know that you've been dealing with this all by yourself. Why didn't you tell us? We would've done anything to help you." She said, turning her eyes up to him. He stroked her hair more out of instinct than any real awareness.

"I don't know, it just seemed like one of those things you just dealt with. Besides, you have your own problems to deal with without adding all of mine onto it." He also wanted to keep the two lives as separate as possible; he wanted to keep the Noah and their murderous ways far, far away from his friends, far away from her. She rolled her eyes with a light smirk and snuggled closer into him.

He could feel the warmth of her body against his as he ran his hands through her hair. He breathed in the smell of fresh flowers and gun power as he nuzzled with her. He needed this, oh how he had needed this, he needed to feel some sort of love when it felt like he'd been drowning in hate. He loved her, goddammit he loved her so much. He rested his chin on top of her messy, sleep tousled hair and planted little kisses into her hairline. He could sit here for the rest of his life if allowed, just holding her close to him where the world and all of its demons couldn't reach them. Happy, he was so very happy right now.

He frowned thoughtfully into her hair. He could make her happy too, couldn't he? He was nice, thoughtful and charming. And modest, he thought rolling his eyes a little. B-but Lizzy would happy with him, he would treat her well, love her with everything he had and make as life with life if she would have him.

Maybe he should just tell her how he felt.

Neah's cheeks burned at the thought, he…he couldn't do that. It was, it would be just too weird, what would she say? She would probably pull back and push him away, tell him to get away from her and to never touch her ever again. B-but what if she returned his feelings, what if she lo-lo- cared for him too? He kept on kneading his hands through her hair as the theatre of his mind mulled over all the wonderful, beautiful, brilliant possibilities that thought held.

A steady relationship, warm kisses, long walks on the beach, a ring, a flowing white dress, a kid or two with brunette hair and silver eyes…

That would make everything better, he thought, planting another loving kiss just above her ear. He could deal with whatever Edo had to throw at him so long as he had this beautiful, amazing, perfect by his side.

"Lizzy, I-I love you." She made a little noise in her throat as she maneuvered her head to look up at him. He flushed, oh shit, had he said that out loud? A hundred thousand excuses came to mind on how he could possibly weasel his way out of this, a slip of the tongue, a random thought, a mistake of any sort... "I-I've always loved you Lizzy, from the moment I met you, I d-decided that I wanted t-to be with you always, th-that I would always protect you and keep you happy. I just-" he held her closer to himself, taking the fateful plunge "-I just love you so damn much." She was silent and unmoving in his arms.

"And I love you too Neah." She whispered quietly, so he could barely hear her. His heart stopped, had she-? Did she just-? "I love all of you so much, you, Cross, Maria, y-you mean more to me than I can ever hope to describe in words." She said softly, burying herself deeper into his shirt. He felt a little of the life go out of him, maybe-maybe she just didn't understand. He pushed some hair from her face as he smiled down at her.

"No Lizzy, you don't get it, I lo-"

"You all are my best friends; I can't imagine where I would be right now if I didn't have all of you to keep me on my feet. You all make me so happy, so very happy and in these difficult times it's so great to have someone special to rely on you know? To have someone important to cling to when things get rough." She sighed happily as she turned away from him to stare off into space at some unknown future.

"It makes me happy to think that someday, this war will all be over and we won't have to hide anymore. All of us can be together without war or hatred and things will just be so wonderful. I just can't wait for the time when we can all be happy."

Neah felt his heart lift as Lizzy spoke. He…he understood, he looked down lovingly at her and kissed her forehead tenderly, causing her to blush oh so beautifully. Between the Earl, the Order and even goddamned Cross, things were too hard right now for them to form a real relationship. So she was asking him to wait for her until the war's end, to wait until they could be together at last. Of course he would, he would wait his entire life if he had to for this girl.

It would be difficult, sure, but the thought of Lizzy's bright eyes sparkling behind a wedding veil would see him through all the dark days approaching. Yes, he thought stroking her cheek; Lizzy was definitely what he had needed. He reluctantly let her go and climbed off of her bed. She smiled up at him as she tucked some hair behind her ear and settled herself back under her covers.

"Are you feeling better Neah?" she asked, he nodded unable to keep the grin off of his face.

"Never been better, love, never been better. Thank you, thank you so much for your comforting embrace and your… inspiring words." He said gently. He looked down at his feet for a moment deciding the course of action he should. He knew what he wanted to do and what he should do, and yet still he lingered. One last shy, flushed glance at Lizzy's sweet, comforting face sealed his decision. If he didn't do it now, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

So before he could think about it anymore, he leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her mouth.

She gasped a little at his actions, but she didn't push him away and that was good enough for him. It wasn't all together racy, fairly innocent as far as first kisses go in fact, but it made his heart soar. He brought his hand up to run his fingers through her hair one last time before he pulled back, relishing the lingering feeling of her warm lips against his own. He straightened up and watched her blush and pull back as she fumbled nervously for the light. Once the room was dark, he heard her yawn and he decided that it would be best for him to retreat so she could get her rest.

"T-thank you Lizzy, for-for everything. I know this might sound strange to you, but that just made everything okay, now I feel that I can take on the world." He thinks he saw her smile back and he was able to turn away from her easily and make his way back to Edo, back to his own personal hell.

They had the rest of their lives after all.

He paused. Only one thing was bothering him, something that had been nagging him from the moment Lizzy had woken up. As he grasped the door handle, he slowly turned back to Lizzy's bed as she settled more comfortably beneath the covers.

"Hey Liz, before you go to sleep, just one last question. When you first work up, you thought I was Cross, is there uh any particular reason for that?" Lizzy yawned again, already halfway sleep as she answered him lazily.

"Sometimes if he can't sleep, Cross will come and sit here like you did. He has some pretty bad nightmares so I thought you were him at first." She said quietly as she drifted back to sleep. It took all of Neah's self-control not to slam the door in anger. He stood in the hall and huffed angrily trying to control his rage. That…that bastard! Did Cross just think he could have these secret meetings with Lizzy whenever he wanted? Neah had been promised Lizzy, she had…had said she would wait for him and here Cross was just loving her up anytime he saw fit? Coming into her bedroom while Neah was thousands of miles away unaware?

And what was he even doing during that time, during those long, dark hours that they were alone together? Was he also caressing her hair or cuddling close to her and her transparent nightgown. The thought filled him with an inconsolable rage.

'See my darling, you cannot trust these humans. They may claim to be your friends, but they will go behind your back and betray you the moment you leave. She does not care for you; she desires only your power and not your affections. At least the Noah are open in their dislike, they give you no false pretenses and do not toy with your heart so. But I, I will always love you and I will never betray you.'

The voice only further served to anger Neah as he forcefully summoned a gate and stomped back to Edo, his good mood gone in his jealous anger. So Lizzy and Cross really were going behind his back. Well, two can play this game. They'd see, they'd all see, he would win this war and would have Lizzy. One way or another. And maybe, just maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to take up the Earl's throne. As the new Millennium Earl, he could make a change for the better. As he left Europe to return to Edo, he ignored the sharp burning in his heart and the serene snickering of his Inner Noah.

DGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGMDGM

It was the little things in life, Cross decided, that made life worth living. A cool, crisp German evening, the knowledge of a mission well done, a sparkling night sky….

"I swear you never find an evening like this in England, isn't it beautiful Cross?" Lizzy sighed with a humbleness not normally found in her voice.

…And a beautiful girl to share this night with.

"Yeah, beautiful." He said with a humbleness only found when he was around Lizzy.

They were alone for the first time in a long time. Neah was still under house arrest in Edo miserable as anything. He'd looked really pale yesterday and had barely said two words to either of them. It made Cross worried about what was happening over there in Japan. He really wished there was more he could do for his friend, but the warm body next to him was slightly distracting.

Maria was also unavailable; she was fanatically cleaning up the North American base after the horrific Akuma attack a few weeks back. They hadn't talked to her since the attack and visiting the base was out of the question, not with Leverrier watching their every step. Speaking to the Branch Chief in yet another desperate phone call, they'd learned that she had been tirelessly working around the clock without rest to aid the injured and help rebuild.

So two of his friends were falling apart at the seams, Central was convinced they were traitors, they were in the middle of a fucking war with evil incarnate and he was concerned with a single girl? Boy oh boy did he ever need to get his priorities in check.

He couldn't deny it any more, Lizzy was an amazing beautiful girl and he lo-o-o-. He sighed to himself; perhaps this would harder than he thought. But he wasn't even sure if he should make any moves in that direction. First of all, Lizzy was his best friend, he cared for all his friends, but he shared something with Lizzy that he didn't have with the others. He was extremely reluctant to risk his friendship for a relationship that could destroy everything they have. Second was Neah, Cross may be an asshole sometimes, but he really did care for his only male friend. Neah was his friend and his brother in arms. Cross was really upset that a girl was coming between them like this, but goddammit, what a girl it was.

Things had been pretty cold between the two of them recently, they'd laughed and joked as always, but there was an underlying mistrust that hadn't been there before. But as much as it upset him, Cross just couldn't help but get all jealous and defensive whenever Neah was around. He was also getting really worried about Neah's health as well. Aside from the obvious sleepless nights and boundless stress, there was something different in his gaze. As he hung out with them, Neah's eyes had less light than they used to, he spoke curtly and harshly, even occasionally to Lizzy. It reminded Cross of his violent slip at the exorcist's ball when Neah's Inner Noah had taken control.

What worried him was that this time, the intrusion now seemed to be consensual.

"Cross, do you miss your father?" He turned his head towards her, where on earth did that come from? He had confessed to her long ago about the troubles and abuse he'd suffered at his father's hand, but what did that have to do with here and now? He rolled his eyes upwards as he thought.

"I wouldn't exactly say I miss him, I mean, I never really got to know him. He was either drunk out of his mind or sober, which really, was almost worse. I think about him a lot, about what I learned from him. But as awful as it sounds, I remember just feeling relief when I heard that he'd died of a heart attack in his bathtub." There, he might not win son of the year, but at least he was honest.

His old man-he and his father never really got along. Hell, if he hadn't become an exorcist, he'd probably still be living in that dirty, broken house, trying to keep his abusive father alive just one more day.

He used to feel guilty about his father's death, which was indirectly caused by him by not regulating his father's alcohol consumption. He finally forgave himself when he realized that, with or without his help, his father would have eventually succeeded in drinking himself to death, a goal he started when his mother ran off oh so long ago. Lizzy was quiet beside him as the sky twinkled above them.

He breathed in the air; it was so peaceful here out in this grassy wet field. Tomorrow they would return to Headquarters on the first train with the Innocence they'd collected today and meander through their dreary, dying existence, but for now, he would enjoy this momentary bliss.

"How can you? I mean, look at what he did to you. All the times he hit you or ignored you or-or abandoned you… How can you still care?"

Ah, he realized with understanding, so that's what this was all about.

"Do you miss your father Lizzy?" She frowned as she looked up at sky, searching for the right words in the glittering heavens.

"I-I miss the man who called me 'peaches', who had a bright and chipper face that was always ready to make me smile. Who read stories to me at night with a reckless abandon that made even the dullest story seem fantastic." She took a deep breath as if to remind herself of reality.

"But-but when I try and remember my father, all I can see is an angry, flushed face. He would whisper lovingly for my distraught mother and sisters to leave the room while he glared down at me with a passionate hatred. He gave me nothing except heartbreak as he pushed me out of my home and into the arms of the exorcists. When I think of him, I can't see him smiling down at me anymore, all I can see is his disgusted face telling me to leave and never come back." She said softly as she fiddled with the grass around her. She cuddled closer to him, seeking comfort and maybe even a few answers.

"I don't know how I feel about him. I mean, I miss my family and my life, but I still feel this empty pain where I believe love should be. I don't think I can love him anymore, but I just can't bring myself to hate him either." She whispered as she clung tightly to him. He stroked her hair with love and admiration. He understood that feeling of confliction, is it better to love the one who hurt you? Or to hate someone you once loved? She was normally so strong, but everyone needed support every now and again. Everyone needed to be reminded that they were loved once in a while.

"Well only you can decide whether you want to love or hate him. My father was a drunken bastard, but I learned a lot of things about life from him. I learned about the world and what it holds, I discovered the Black Order and became a scientist and eventually an exorcist and I grew to understand myself and the kind of person I wanted to be." He looked over at her in the dim light to see her staring intently up at the sky, but her stiffened posture told him that she was still listening. He sighed.

"I know it's hard, but why don't you try and forgive him? I know he hurt you and what he did was wrong, but he was frightened and unsure. Instead of remembering those hurtful times, remember him for what he is, your father. Those bitter memories only make the good memories dirty. Maybe if you can learn to forgive him, then maybe one day you will come to understand why he did what he did."

A cloud covered the moon above them so, for a few moments, they were engulfed in darkness. When the light returned, he was only mildly surprised to see Lizzy crying silently. The moon illuminated the glowing tears as they ran down her face. She smiled as turned her eyes up toward him.

"I can't imagine how I lived so long without you. How the hell do you always know what to say to make me feel better? Don't you guys ever leave me; I couldn't live without you, all of you." His heart fluttered, she couldn't really mean that, she was just caught up in the moment is all. Any minute she'd sit up and crack a joke before they returned back to their small hotel room and forget this intimate exchange under the stars ever occurred. But she didn't move, if anything she got closer to him, God he could even feel her heartbeat thudding against his own.

He took a deep, steadying breath and reminded himself to remain calm in the face of... whatever these damn hormones were doing to him. Lizzy seemed unaware of his confliction she was causing him as she cuddled closer to him. He bit his lip, she was so close, she was lying right next to him looking just as happy and comfortable as could be.

He could only imagine how hard it was to get over all of the crap her family gave her. He just-he just wanted her to be happy, to remind her that she was loved very much. He gently stroked her hair, it was in times such as these when it seemed that the whole world was about to come crashing down upon them that they needed to remember what was important-what was worth fighting for.

"Hey now," he said lightly, leaning into her. "There's no reason to cry, I know it's hard right now, but things will work out one way or another." She rolled her eyes to meet his, sniffling the last bits of her cathartic sorrow away.

"You really think so?" she asked quietly. He pursed his lips, no, he wasn't sure. But she needed reassurance right now, not the heartbreaking truth that this war would most likely kill them. He smiled easily, relishing at how she mirrored the expression right back at him. God she looked beautiful tonight. The moonlight lit up her milky skin and as he continued to run his hand through her silky hair, he slowly realized the full extent of his feelings.

He didn't just care for her; he loved her.

But he sighed to himself. Maybe someday he'd actually tell her how he felt about her. Anything, even rejection, was better than this restless anticipation. But that was for another day, a day when they didn't have to worry about their lives or their friends. So he opened his mouth to tell her that it was getting late and that they'd better head back so they could catch the early train tomorrow morning.

That was not what came out.

"Lizzy," he said softly. "I think I love you, will you marry me?"

The wind blew quietly between them, though not as quiet or as resolute as the silence that befell them after that statement. He let one or two moments pass before he was able to fully comprehend the words that he had spoken. He could feel a bright red blush stealing across his face like wildfire. Lizzy beside him, to her credit, did not push him away or scream or do much of anything. Instead she just stared up at him with wide eyes with a familiar blush marring her white skin.

He could not even find words to describe the horror that was constricting his throat at the moment. How could he have been so stupid! How could he have-Lizzy just continued to stare up at him with blatant emptiness. Cross's heart clenched painfully in his chest at the expression. She was going to say no, he thought sadly. Worse yet, she's going to hate me forever. He was supposed to be her friend dammit, and look at what he was putting on her, look at what he had done to the friendship he valued above just about everything else. He frowned.

Just take it back.

All he had to do was say that he had been joking, smile and slink back to their hotel and never, ever mention the incident ever again even under threat of torture. That's what he should do, but the small, despairingly naïve part of him that had caused him to utter those auspicious words were now telling him to hope for the impossible, to hope for the three lettered word he was dying to hear.

"Bwah" he mumbled incoherently as he tried to form the words he wanted so desperately to say and, at the same time, was too terrified to. But Lizzy stopped him before he could try again. She sat up quickly, getting up and out of his arms before he could do anything and standing shakily up on her feet. Lying down on the ground, he couldn't quite make out her expression through the moon's shadow, but he could imagine it all too well.

No

She didn't say it, but she didn't have to. The image of her running back in the direction of their shared hotel room was answer enough. He sat up and watched her go silently, without any protest. Once her form was out of view he growled to himself and fell back onto the cool grass. He held his fists to his head and cursed himself, hoping that God would listen to him for once and just smite him right then and there.

"You idiot, what the hell were you thinking?" Of course he did know, he had been thinking about how lovely she looked in the moonlight, about how he loved the feeling of his fingers playing with her rusty hair, he had been -and still was- thinking about much she meant to him. He groaned and let his hands fall listlessly at his sides. He didn't know what do in this sort of situation. He'd never really liked anyone before, not to mention even like-liking someone. He was a scientist; he was prepared to deal with chemicals and equations. But people, girls especially, did not come with an instruction manual and their equations could not be balanced with a few numbers.

And now the first girl he'd ever really talked to, befriended, loved would now probably hate him for the rest of his life. He laid there for a while, he wasn't sure how long, a minute, an hour, two hours, who knew? After some uncountable amount of time running the scenario through his head and cursing his idiocy, he stiffly got up and began the long walk back to their room.

Why bother? He thought, rolling his eyes wearily. She probably won't let me in anyway.

To his surprise, however, the door was unlocked and he was able to quietly slip into the room. He didn't want a confrontation right now, not when he had no idea what to say. Though there was no need for caution, she was sound asleep on the far bed, her coat and boots a muddled heap on the floor beside her. Taking off his own boots and coat, he crept over to her bedside. He'd been on enough missions with her to know the difference between when she was faking and when she was actually sleeping. At least one of them would be well rested in the morning.

Despite the calamitous situation that would probably forever stain their friendship, he smiled. He couldn't help it; she looked so cute lying there, grateful to have finally escaped the messy waking world. He would not let this come between them. He valued her friendship far too much let his desire for more than a friendship ruin what he already had. He would apologize to her in the morning; straighten this whole crazy mess out before it morphed into something irreparable.

He decided that he would apologize and pretend that the awkwardness had never occurred. He just cared for her too much to gamble away the most important person in his life on his emotional follies. He promised himself that, one way or another, he would make things right again. He gingerly tucked a loose hair hanging in her face behind her ear.

"I'm so sorry Lizzy; I don't want to hurt you. I-I just want you to be happy."

He'd be whatever he could for her and count himself lucky that he could be with her all. The walk across the room seemed longer than it should, looking at her from his bed; he thought the distance had grown from when they had first left mere hours ago.

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The morning came agonizing slow and too quickly at the same time. Cross was so tired, he couldn't remember if he ever did get some sleep or not. They said nothing as they got up, merely nodding to each other to assure themselves that the other was real. His promise to talk to her in the morning died a quick death in his throat as he looked at her silently button up her black coat.

He'd wait until they were a little more awake at breakfast.

Silence replaced the usual animated chatter that dominated most breakfasts following missions. The innkeeper eyed them suspiciously as they checked out, wondering who had swapped the boisterous children who had checked in the day before. Lizzy asked for direction to the train station while Cross paid the bill. The walk to the train station would be the perfect time to talk to her he decided.

The sound of their footsteps was the only sound present as they walked to the station for it was too early in the morning for the normal hustle of traffic. They got their tickets and boarded the train without a word. He frowned thoughtfully, the train for sure. During all those long hours to themselves before they reached the Order, he would tell her that he was sorry for last night and that he took it back.

The ride home, normally filled with cheerful talk and shameless gossip, brought only more quietness. Cross thought he may have fallen asleep for a while, it was hard to tell, both sleep and wakefulness brought washed out colors and mute voices. Hevlaska and Master wordlessly questioned them as they handed in the Innocence without a smile, a joke or even a word. They, of course, said nothing. With but a brief nod to acknowledge the other's existence, they went back to their rooms to commemorate their loss.

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General Devdas gently tapped her shoulder, startling Lizzy out of her thoughts. She smiled up at him while he frowned down at her. Somewhere in the background, a kid fell off a ladder.

"Lizzy, you know you can talk to me about anything. I may not be as cool as you kids, but I've been around the block once or twice." He said with an expression of concern on his face. She smiled back; she didn't have to guess what he was talking about.

It seemed everyone in the Order was debating on what had happened to break up the dynamic duo. It gave her endless frustration to look at how close the betting pool was to reality. Only this time she wasn't so sure on the outcome as she had been the last time she had bet on her relationship with Cross. She felt a blush rising to her cheeks which she beat down as she smiled up at her Master.

"I know Master, but really everything is-"

"Elizabeth, I don't know what happened, but it's breaking my heart to see you and Cross like this. In all the time you've been friends, I've never seen you like this. Whatever happened between you two is not worth the loss of such a special friendship." She looked down, it was bound to happen sooner or later she supposed. The last five days had been terrible, she hadn't talked to Neah since his midnight visit, Maria has confined herself to her base and Cross... She smiled sadly up at him.

"I know Master, it'll be okay really. We just, we just have some issues to resolve first." Like the fact that he had proposed? Or that she didn't know what she was going to do about it? "Maybe we just need some time to cool off, you know, to take a step back and evaluate. The Inductions today will be good for both of us, you know, to get our minds off of it for a bit." He affectionately ruffled her hair.

"Alright chickadee, whatever you feel is best. But don't step too far back, you might not be able to find each other again and that would be a real shame." With that, he turned on his heels and went to help the others prepare for the ceremony. They had been asked to help with this year's induction of new Accommodators. When they agreed a few weeks back, there hadn't been any problem.

She sighed as she began laying out the chairs where the eager young students would sit in a few hours. She remembered her own Induction a few years back. She had sat in the front row with a look of stark concentration on her face as she stared into the too bright lights, trying her best to keep herself from tears. She had only recently been thrown out of her home and family and was still trying to cope with the loss of her life plus the whole demon-killing thing.

She leaned forward onto the back of one of the black chairs as she watched the other kids hustle about. She could see Cross engaged (she winced, poor choice of words) in the back as he helped the science department set up their equipment.

She desperately wanted to talk to him, she wanted to rest her aching head on his shoulder and maybe even cry a little. She wanted him to hold her and tell her that everything would be alright and give her one of his adorable smirks that always seemed to make everything better. She wanted Neah there too, she wanted him to kiss her cheek and hold her hand and to tell her that she was pretty like he always did and that he would always be there for her.

But she couldn't talk to Cross, not now at least, not until they had their heads on straight. Neah was god knows how many thousands of miles away dealing with his own troubles and without Neah, Maria was out of reach as well. All her friends were either unavailable or absent. She had nowhere to go and, for the first time in over a year, she was alone.

She sighed to herself quietly. Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to make things hard? She didn't resent him for it, she was far too close to him to think so negatively of him, but she couldn't help but be exasperated at his behavior. Weren't things fine just the way they were? Why did- why did he have to make things complicated? And so soon after Neah?

She felt a little bad about running away as she had, about leaving him alone with the most horrible sense of rejection, but she had just panicked. She gripped the back of the chair until her knuckles were white. She had thought that the boys' attentions would be as easily discarded as the bandages from her gunshot shoulder. But it was becoming clearer to see that this wasn't something that would pass so easily.

B-but she loved them, maybe not the way they did her, but it was true. She didn't want to hurt them, especially now when they needed each other the most. No one could fault her for that, right? For trying to spare her friends the heartache she herself had endured. Just the thought of her family's rejection tore all new holes in her chest. She gripped the chair harder. No, no she wouldn't put her friends through that; she wouldn't hurt them like she had been hurt.

"Logan, get your ass in gear! Those chairs won't set up themselves." Snapping to attention, she mindlessly continued her task with a lack of enthusiasm not characteristic of her. She'd forgotten what it was like, this loneliness, though this time it tasted was far bitterer.

A blind man does not miss sight which he never had; only a seeing man turned blind can know the true pain of loss.

And dammit did it suck.

She was losing her friends before her eyes and she didn't know what to do about it. She gripped the chair as she heavily set it down onto the dark wooden stage. Today was going to be absolutely dreadful, why the hell did she even get out of bed today? It couldn't possibly get worse. Someone cleared their throat on the ground, she looked up. It was that bastard Leverrier. He grinned cheekily up at her, still managing to sport a superior smile even from his lower position on the ground.

"Miss. Logan that last row of chairs does not appear to be straight. I expected better from the young lady people are saying will be the next General. After all, we have to set a better example for our incoming class of God's chosen warriors; we have to instill in them a fierce loyalty for the Order." He grinned like the dirty, rotten snake that he was.

"Of course, I don't have to tell you, you and your little friends already know all about that." She fought the snarl on her face. Fucking prick, she glared at him as he gave her a patronizing wave and ambled over to inspect the signs some kids were painting. Alright so perhaps it could get worse. Now she was fighting Cross and Leverrier on the same day?

She slammed a chair back into place as she straightened the row. Dammit, if she was going to be miserable, she was at least going to do a good fucking job. Emotional crisis or not, she was an exorcist dammit and was not going to let her personal problems interfere with her duty to God. At least this is what she told herself as she placed the chairs in perfect lines. For the second time in her life, she stood on this horrible stage, staring out into the well-lit darkness of the Black Order, trying her best not to cry.

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"Would all rise to greet the new members of the Black Order, may the old guide the new and learn from what these talented citizens can teach us in our battle for victory." Lizzy rose and clapped languidly as the new exorcists onstage beamed out into the audience. Those poor people, they had no idea what awaited them. Blood and death, the fear of getting too close to anyone, the numbing ache of reality that gives exorcists wrinkles and grey hair before their twenty fifth birthdays, if they even live to see it.

Was this what awaited their future? A never ending cycle of broken dreams and hopeless lives? Is that all they had to hope for in this bitter, rotten world? She felt his presence behind her before she actually saw him. He took a deep breath and shuffled his feet.

"Um hi Lizzy, did you uh sleep well?" Despite the overwhelming awkward nervousness she felt, she couldn't help but smile. Really? They hadn't really spoken almost a week and that's how he greets her? She could hear him cursing under his breath next to her, so he was nervous too; at least she wasn't the only one.

"Uh yes I did thank you very much. You did an excellent job on the lights by the way. I don't know what those scientists would do without you around." They smiled at each other and then stood in silence for a few minutes in manner that wasn't completely uncomfortable. They watched the new trainees file away, each wearing identical smiles and brand new shiny black coat.

"It's kind of depressing how the Order makes the indoctrination of impressionable, young people for endless war and death seem so damn wonderful." Cross said gloomily. Lizzy wryly smirked; at least his cynicism remained ever the same.

"Now that's not a proper attitude to take my chickadee." She said in a sarcastic imitation of their overly optimistic Master, complete with the animated hand motions. He snickered and they slipped back into the companionable silence. And for just a moment, she could trick herself into thinking that everything was alright. The moment was gone as Cross looked over at her with his piercing burgundy eyes, eyes that told her that he was done with idle chatter. Why couldn't he just let it be, just move on and forget about such a sensitive subject?

"Liz, there's something we need to talk about-"

"Cross!" her prayers were answered as a small tanned girl with flying braids threw herself at Cross's waist giggling. Cross gave her an apologetic shrug before turning to smile down at the little girl. As Cross took his eyes off of her, he missed her how shoulders slumped in relief.

"Lani! Wait up!" another young kid ran up, a boy about ten or so with sandy hair and bright blue eyes. He grinned up at them with a cheeriness which clearly indicated his short duration here at the Order. "Hi Cross! Sorry about that, when she saw you she just started running across the room. Oh hi Miss, my name is Aiden and it is very nice to meet you." The boy stuck out his hand and gave her a dashing gentlemen's smile. How charming, she thought letting a smile replace her worried frown.

The girl still clung tightly to Cross as she speedily told him all about her life and how her training was coming along. Lizzy watched the exchange and smiled as she crossed her arms. Seeing Cross' easy smile return eased some of her fears. The kid really was too damn adorable and she knew that Cross really cared for her. She remembered him talking about her for hours after their mission together. She smiled; he would make a great Master someday.

"Lani, it is good to see you again. Now tell me, is this boy treating you alright? If not, I might have to rough him up a bit for you." Lani pulled back and giggled into her fist, the young boy nodded vigorously before stepping forward to take her by the hand.

"Oh yes Cross, she's been teaching me an awful lot. We've both gotten so much better with our Innocence. Look what I can do." Lizzy leaned back as the kid produced, out of nowhere, a small ball of fire in the palm of his hands. The metal rosary around his neck glowed with the fierce intensity of Innocence. She took an unconscious step back; Cross seemed to agree with her.

"That's great kid, but be careful. You're still not a full-fledged exorcist yet and fire is pretty hard to master. Besides, there are a lot of things in this room that are flammable; need I remind you of that inn in Spain?" Aiden grinned sheepishly and dutifully extinguished the flame.

"Are you guys here to help with the Inductions too?" Lani asked with wide, brown eyes. She really was something else; she had to be if Cross put up with her.

"We mostly helped set up, but we're doing all we can to help out, and you?"

"We're helping serve food at the reception!" Aiden said cheerfully as he proudly showing off his nametag. Cross smirked as he raised an eyebrow.

"Really, well I do believe the reception started five minutes ago." The two kids wore identical looks of terror and turned to see that the large auditorium was indeed empty. They started running. Lani turned as she ran and gave a hearty wave in their direction.

"Bye Cross, bye Lizzy! See you later!" And that they were gone, Cross chuckled under his breath.

"Crazy kids, they just can't seem to keep their heads on straight." They were suddenly alone again in the vacant room. The tension skyrocketed again. She couldn't talk to him now, not when they were alone like this. Not when the question he had asked her last week hovered over them like a storm cloud.

"You know we should probably join them, see if there is anything we can do." She said quickly at an octave or too higher than normal. Cross either didn't notice or choose to ignore her nervousness as he rubbed his neck and stared at the ground, a look of thoughtfulness on his face.

"Okay, but um Lizzy, before we go, I really think we should talk about this. I uh mean-"

"Cross! Lizzy! Goodness, I have been looking everywhere for you everywhere. We need two more trained exorcists for the demonstration. Froi has had a high fever all day and bloody Cash fell of a ladder and broke his leg. Please children; you're the only ones I trust not to blow up the building." Before any reply of affirmation or negation could be given, their Master grasped them by their wrists and dragged toward the reception. He smiled down at them.

"Oh children I thank you so much, you are so kind to help your poor old Master." Cross rolled his eyes and gave Lizzy a shrug that said 'what can you do?' She gave him a strangled smile back.

"We'll talk later." He whispered as they were pulled into the crowded reception room where exorcists were politely chatting while the new inductees were comparing their black coats.

"I brought my two best, they're both firearm Accommodators, but they both are incredibly skilled." Master said as he released their sore wrists. Lizzy sneered at the sudden sour taste in her mouth. It was Leverrier again, she wanted to break free of her Master and turn and run. But she was an exorcist and exorcists sure as hell did not run. He smiled as he put a slimy hand on their shoulders.

"I thank you very much, I know you two have already worked very hard today, but we require you to help with a demonstration to show off your skills. It is quite an honor to be chosen, your Master must believe you two to be the pinnacle of your class." Cross frowned as he glared at Leverrier. Master was oblivious to the tension as he continued to brag about their skills.

The three of them kept heated eye contact even as they were hustled away. Master pushed them out onto the patio outside with the five other exorcists suckered into this demonstration. Lizzy bitterly sighed and tried to calm her flaming temper. She stretched and cracked her knuckles in preparation for all the shooting she was about to do. Eh, there were worse ways to deal with her problems than to take out her frustration on Akuma targets.

"Why hello Elizabeth, you look quite terrifying today, I'd hate to be an Akuma right now. So how about you and I practice a little eh 'shooting' sometime later?" A skinny arm snaked around her waist and her irritation only increased. It was Rhett Wickham, a skilled exorcist in the art of swaying the wills of Akuma and impressionable young maidens. Her eye twitched.

What the hell was with her and guys today? The convent sounded pretty damn good about now…

The lewd older exorcist used to pester her all the time until finally she put a gun to his groin and threatened to shoot him unless he left her alone. Apparently enough time had passed that such threats were forgotten. Before she could answer his request with an old fashioned punch to the face, or other more sensitive regions, she heard him squeak as he was forcibly pulled away from her. Rhett shrunk as Cross held him by the scruff of his neck looking very, very pissed off.

"I don't think the lady is interested. Why don't you slink back to whatever mud hole you crawled out of, you might find some friends down there." With that, he released the lecher who proceeded to make himself scarce. She made a face; she almost missed Rhett's empty affections.

"Thanks." Lizzy said quietly, looking up at the sky and a very interesting flock of birds passing overhead. Cross said nothing at first; he just looked at her with an intensity that was unnerving. Lizzy bit her lip and tried to keep her cool. If he asked again she would-she would just turn him down. It was unavoidable and it had to be done, but that doesn't mean she had to like it.

"Lizzy, you shouldn't let creeps bother you like that." She said something under her breath feeling relieved and a little touched. It was sweet how protective he was and how much he obviously cared. Maybe-maybe she was over thinking this, maybe Cross was just trying to put this behind him as well. "I'm serious Lizzy, you're very pretty and guys like him are…are um well attracted to you." He looked down at his feet. "But um Liz, um I think we need to talk. About-about what happened in Germany, I-I just want you to know-" Her breath caught in her throat.

"Alright children, get in position! We're about to start! Mariko, would you please start us off?" Lizzy could hear her Master talking in the background, but she wasn't listening to him, she was too busy trying not to hear what Cross was saying.

"Lizzy, I um, I know I made things weird last week a-and I'm sorry. I just want you to know that I-" She couldn't hear him anymore, he was still talking, but she couldn't hear him over the sound of the wind. An older exorcist, Mariko Hosokawa was performing with her Innocence fans which manipulated the air. The wind whipped around them with a fury that drowned out any sort of noise. Finishing her routine, Mariko bowed and replaced her fans. The crowd cheered and the new students, young and old, applauded the smiling Asian woman enthusiastically, looking up at her with open awe. Pushing frizzy bits of hair from her eyes, Lizzy looked over at Cross.

"I'm sorry Cross, I didn't hear a word you said…" she said trailing off as she noticed the frustrated glimmer in his eyes. He took a deep breath through his teeth and pulled out Judgment.

"Never mind, it's not important anyway." He said through his grinding teeth. He then stomped forward and did a brilliant, if somewhat aggressive, performance.

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"You were fantastic, I mean, my mind is so completely blown. I hope one day to be just as good you are. I don't really know what I'm doing now, would it be okay if I came to you if I have any questions?" Lizzy smiled and as politely as possible, brushed the man's hand of her shoulder. She was glad he was enthused and everything, but she was pretty sure they had personal space in the real world as well. He was one of the older recruits, looking somewhere between twenty-five and thirty, but at least he was motivated. The guy had been taking detailed notes during all of their demonstrations.

"Yes, I would happy to help you with anything you need, but I'm sure your Master, General Fleming, will help you with whatever-"

"Oh thank you! My heart is a flutter with relief! I won't disappoint you! Wait and see, August Maxson will be the best exorcist ever! Thanks a bunch Miss Lizzy!" With that, the excited exorcist skipped off to the dessert bar. Lizzy rubbed her shoulder and wondered what just happened.

She sighed as she turned and ran into a boy maybe a few years older than herself. He was tall, really tall making him seem older at first, but his childish face gave him away. He had short cropped black hair with a small goatee and piercing blue eyes with pale white skin occasionally colored with freckles. While he wore the black exorcist pants, he lacked the traditional black coat in favor for a wrinkled collared shirt. Headquarters was a big place, but Lizzy sure as hell didn't recognize him and he lacked the starry-eyed naivety to be an inductee.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there, are you alright?" she asked, he rolled his eyes as he readjusted his hopelessly wrinkled shirt. She sneered, what a jackass.

"I'm not going to die anytime soon if that's what you're asking." He replied flippantly. She so did not have to deal with this. She turned on her heels, preparing to walk away when the creep suddenly grabbed her arm. The predatory gleam in his eye was enough to send off alarm bells in her head. "I know you. I have a good memory for faces; you're Elizabeth Aliena Logan, age fifteen. You were recently indicted by Central for suspicious behavior and possible treason." She wrenched her arm, but he held her firmly. She refused to admit the snaking fear and resorted to her usual defense.

"So what is it to you? And how the hell do you know that? That investigation was supposed to remain a secret." The smile that adorned his face was of an animal appraising a future meal. Her first instinct was to pull her weapon, but this guy was an exorcist right?

"A nice gentleman from Central by the name of Malcolm Leverrier informed me. He's trying to bribe the old man and I with juicy bits of gossip here and there. He wants our Bookman records of the war, but the old man's not giving them up just yet. That man from Central had quite a bit to say about you and your friends. Perhaps we could chat sometime, you know for the records." She shivered as he leaned close and whispered in her ear.

Anger pulsed through her veins, she was about to deliver what would surely be a painful punch under his chin when he was pulled back. She was expecting it to be Cross saving from yet another creep, but was instead surprised to find a small, old man as wrinkled as the creep's shirt and he looked extremely pissed off. The scene was a little funny as the small man held the young creep's ear so tightly, the boy was nearly down to the old man's height.

"Jason, what are you doing you idiotic, impatient fool?" He tugged on the younger boy's ear until he was practically on his knees. Lizzy watched the scene with distain and more than a little amusement.

"If you wanted- to look me in the eye old man, you should have- worn heels." The smart remark had barely left the boy, Jason's, mouth before the old man slapped him with a strength that was surprising. As the boy held his red cheek the older man chastised him.

"Stupid boy, you never listen to me. I told you not to speak to them and that we were here only to observe and not to interfere. I am terribly sorry Miss; I hope my idiotic, young apprentice has not injured you in any way." Lizzy slowly shook her head as the boy straightened, he was clearly infuriated but remained quiet. With a stiff bow, they exited the room with such swiftness that she was left wondering if she had just imagined it all.

No one else seemed to really notice them and only the slight ache of her arm where the kid had held her indicated that the event even occurred. She ran a hair through her tangled hair, it was getting long, she'd have to cut it sooner or later. Dammit, she needed a drink. Unfortunately, they were only serving punch here so that would have to suffice. She walked over the refreshment table where a familiar little girl handed her a cup, she smiled and took it.

"Thank you, I really needed that." She said, gratefully sipping the sugary, lukewarm drink, but hey, beggars can't be choosers right? Lani tilted her head as she watched her.

"I saw what happened, that guy was kind of scary looking. You were really brave, you didn't look scared at all, I kind of wish you'd hit him though." Lizzy snorted, those were Order kids for you. Lani looked down at the table as she fiddled with one of her long braids. "Um I hate to pry or anything, but are you and Cross fighting?" Lizzy set down the empty cup and sighed, they weren't so much fighting as trying to get through the thick fog of teenage awkwardness, but she wasn't about to tell a young girl that.

"Nah, he's just off doing something else right-"

"I can tell, I saw the way you looked at each other today. Your speech didn't have the casualness that you two usually have and your postures were tense and awkward." It was that obvious huh? Well Cross did say she was smart. Lani refilled Lizzy's cup.

"You know, you shouldn't fight. H-he really cares for you. When were on our Innocence mission together, he talked about you a lot, even while he was sleeping. He said some really sweet things. That's how I knew he was a nice guy; the way he talked about you was reassuring. No bad guy ever talks like that." Lizzy blushed, she was fairly certain that was something Cross did not want her to know.

Lani bit her lip as she scanned the room, perhaps to make sure Cross wasn't around to hear her confess such embarrassing information. She leaned forward conspiratorially, giving Lizzy an earnest face. "Please make up with him, he was nice to me when no one else was, I don't want to see him get hurt." Lani gave a small smile as she looked away with blush staining her tanned skin. Lizzy smiled back without thought, she was starting to see why Cross liked her so much.

"Hey ladies, anything going on?" Lani yelped and made an excuse to be elsewhere as Cross appeared behind Lizzy.

"And where have you been? I haven't seen you since your demonstration." He rubbed his neck.

"You know those scientists; I got pulled into helping them dissemble all the equipment I helped set up just a few hours ago. Apparently they were confused with the wiring. I told them that they should retire or at least get some damn glasses, but they never listen." He said, rolling his eyes. Lizzy couldn't help but chuckle, the craziness of the science department was at least familiar territory.

He took a deep breath and shuffled his feet. "While I was taking everything down, I had a chance to think, you know, about what we're doing, about our mission, a-about us. I-I just wanted to say I was sorry for what happened in Germany, it was… it was wrong of me-" Lizzy wearily rubbed her temples. She couldn't do this anymore; maybe they had to talk this out before they could put this behind them. She couldn't keep running from her best friend forever. She sighed.

"Cross really it's-" she started but he held up his hand causing her to pause.

"No Liz, please, let me talk for a second. I just-" he sighed wearily and looked away from her. "I just got caught up in the moment is all, I didn't-I didn't really mean what I said. It was just one of those, you know, one of those things that just, come out." He took a moment to chuckle awkwardly and scratch his head as he rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

"I mean how weird was that? Me proposing to you and all. I don't know what I was thinking." She blinked once and then twice and then sighed in relief. So he wasn't asking for her-? Oh thank god, thank god for once she was able to avoid a disaster in the making. She looked up at Cross again as the tension left her body allowing her fall back into her familiar position as his best friend and nothing more. She took up his lead and smiled cheerfully, trying not to let her extreme relief show on her face.

"Oh wow, you're still thinking about that, I'd forgotten about that days ago." She said flippantly, as if she hadn't spent the last six nights thinking of ways out of the terribly awkward position. "It's quite a relief though now that I don't have to find a dress and deal with all that crap. You know what a hassle weddings can be." A soft, contemplative look passed his face for a second as he kept up the easy façade.

"Would you have?" He asked quietly, putting his hands behind his head casually. "Saying I really did propose, not that I did or anything, what would you have said, you know, just so that we can laugh about it later." The smile twitched rigidly on her face. What could she say? Cross just continued to look down at her with apparent disinterest. She coughed into her fist.

"Well um, that's a pretty big decision and I'd probably have to think about and-"

"Fire! Everyone out!" They immediately drew back as a stark cry rocked the hall. Her eyes darted over to a darkened corner, was that N-? Everything became chaotic after that.

The inductees scrambled in panic, unsure of their role and unused to such danger. The Generals and older exorcists tried to calm the panicked people down and escort them to the exit. A girl screamed as the table near the main entrance, the same table where Lani and Aiden had been working not long before, collapsed into itself as the flames consumed it. People ran around in aimless pandemonium, there were numerous ways out of the room, but it was simple psychology. The loss of the main exit had elicited a panic that had overwhelmed any sort of reason. Cross grabbed Lizzy's hand as they made their way through the swarms of frightened exorcist.

"Relax! Relax everyone! We are not trapped in here, there are plenty of exits, and we can only get out if we do it in an orderly fashion. Please file into a single line and exit through the aft door." But General Devdas was ignored as the frightened people panicked. The flaming remains of the table spread to the curtains, Lizzy coughed as the smoke increased.

"Dammit, isn't there some exorcist here with water Innocence or something?"

Cross said nothing in reply as they sought to navigate through the crowd. It was getting pretty smoky in here right now. Cross growled irritably and pulled out Judgment and held it high in the air. One shot, two shots and everyone was silent. He glared around the room.

"What the hell is wrong with all of you? Aren't you supposed to exorcists? Either get out of room by way of the other exits or God forbid someone should try and put the fire out. You're all acting crazy, just calm down and think for a minute, you'll live longer." Mariko, who up until this point had been trapped in a corner, pulled out her fans and decreased the oxygen in the fire, causing it to fizzle out. The room was evacuated as the smoke became almost unbearable. While heads were counted and minor burns treated, Cross stalked around the room with Judgment clutched tightly in his hand. Lizzy followed him, noticing the angry look in his eyes.

"Where is he? Where is that little son of a bitch, I'm gonna ram my fist so far up his-"

Lani suddenly appeared panting out of nowhere, her face was sooty and her coat was singed, but she seemed otherwise unharmed. She panted lightly as she looked up at Cross with wide, frightened eyes.

"Cross please, it wasn't his fault, you have to believe me. Aiden was with me the entire time, he didn't light the fire. Please, I promise, don't be mad at him, he didn't do it!" She pleaded, gripping Cross's hand, he glared down at her in a manner that startled Lizzy.

"Don't try and protect him Lani, we're not going to hurt him, we just want him to understand the consequences of playing with fire. Does he have any idea what could've happened?" Cross began to raise his voice causing tears welled in the little girl's eyes. She shook her head violently.

"He didn't do it, he didn't do it, he didn't do it! You have to believe me Cross, he's going to get into so much trouble, please, I swear he didn't do it!" Cross pursed his lips angrily as he contemplated the teary girl in front of him, Lizzy sighed and bent down to Lani as she wiped her tears away.

"We believe you love, it's going to be alright, now run along and find your friend. Poor guy is probably scared out of his mind right now; I bet he could use his friend right about now." Lani nodded appreciatively and smiled up at the two of them. Cross, unable to form his own smile, nodded rigidly. She ran off into the crowd without a sound. Lizzy turned to glare at her friend who didn't even have the decency to look at all ashamed.

"So what were you going to do? Shoot the poor boy? Or were you just going to beat the crap out of him? Because the way you look right now says you might have done worse if allowed." she demanded angrily, he just stared down at her from his greater height with a blank face.

"He nearly burnt down the room, he needs to be punished and understand his acti-"

"It was an accident whatever it was! He'll probably be so traumatized by this incident he won't even make a spark for the next month. He's learned his lesson; you don't need to further upset the child by screaming at him! God, Cross sometimes… sometimes I don't even know what you're thinking!" She said in angry exasperation, throwing her hands into the air. She spun on her heels, leaving Cross and his attitude in her wake.

"Whatever issues you have, I suggest you resolve them on your own without taking them out on any innocent children. Life's hard enough without you making it worse." Men, what the hell was his problem?

Cross's question was completely forgotten as she stormed off.

DGMDGMDGM

Cross brought his palm to his forehead and cursed loudly. He knew he'd overreacted, whatever Aiden had been doing, it had clearly been an accident…

B-but he'd almost had her.

All day he'd been unable to get any alone time with Lizzy. And finally as he was finally going to get an answer to the question that had been burning him from the inside out for the past week, the fucking room starts on fire. He glared up at the ceiling, was God so against his happiness that he had to thwart him at every possible turn? Whatever, if he couldn't have a relationship with Lizzy, that was fine. It was too much trouble; he just wanted his friend back without all this awkwardness and fighting. Screw this; he was going to resolve this right now. No more dodging the subject, no more slyly going around the thing he wanted to ask.

He didn't need her as a wife, but he couldn't live without her friendship.

He ran after the girl he loved, not to confess his feelings, but to apologize for his behavior and leave out any mentions of his proposal. She wouldn't listen to him at first and he had to trail after her for ten minutes before she actually spoke to him. They yelled a little bit and Lizzy's twitching hand indicated that she possibly wanted to take a swing at him or worse.

But in the end, apologies were accepted, their friendship was renewed and, to Cross's reluctant dismay, the subject of their possible romantic relationship was put on hold and completely forgotten. You win some, you lose some, he thought.

Might as well help clean up, it's not like he was getting married anytime soon.

DGMDGMDGM

As Cross and Lizzy re-entered the room to aid in whatever way they could, a smiling figure in the room's darkest corner slipped away and vanished. He walked down the empty corridor, a smug and decidingly wicked smile playing on his face. He hadn't been sure this had been a good idea, spying on them like this had seemed so wrong. But his Inner Noah had been right; they really were going behind his back. And to see Cross standing so closely to her, to see him smile at her like he owned her or something.

His blood boiled seeing Lizzy and that bastard together like that.

His Inner Noah had given him the idea and he had to admit it had worked brilliantly. After seeing that snot-nosed kid with the fire, he knew he could light one and blame it on him. But his plan worked far better than he'd hoped. Not only did he prevent the two from going any further, but he'd got them fighting as well. The grin had told Cross that he wouldn't let him have his Lizzy and it was a promise he intended to keep.

Neah opened a gate to Edo and stepped inside.

A small part of his mind felt uneasy about what he had done. After all, that poor kid would probably be severely punished and all those frightened and burned people weren't a part of this. And Lizzy… she didn't deserve his wrath like that, even Cross wasn't that bad. But his Inner Noah assured him that it was alright, that his so-called friends deserved their punishment and he felt better.

Who needed them when he had Noah to help him with everything?

She has wisdom and knows what to do

She has me and she has you. ~ The Doors

I used to really love this chapter until I had to rewrite it five times. Say that slowly please, Fuh-i-ve ti-mes. So needless to say my admiration for this chapter has decreased significantly. Ask my beta and she is sure to bemoan how much the story changed and how her favorite couple (LizzyxCross) slowly got less and less action (The first draft was nigh porn I'm a bit ashamed to say.) But it works out in the end. I also like this chapter because it's semi-autobiographical. To those who say Lizzy would not blithely ignore the romantic tension around her, all I can say is that I did for over a year. The conversation between Lizzy and Neah is very similar to one I had with my best guy friend (with whom I was very close with, but not in that way) I worked so hard to twist his words while he was playing with my hair and saying pretty words. Ug, so yes, this does actually happen.

So, enjoy the fluff while it lasts because this ship (arg arg) is going down fast.

I would like to thank and curse my beta Going Sideways for skyping about this one chapter for so long with me and who played devil's advocate trying to get me to pair LizzyxCross. I hope all those previous drafts bring you some pleasure because all they gave me was a headache.

Love Street (c) is the property of the Doors.