Well, I've been getting threats to update a lot (more than I used to, which was like... once a year ['Kay, maybe more than that]) but I'm going to try and update more, perhaps even...
*Drum roll*
...ONCE A WEEK! *gasp*
But I usually use that time to think up what I'm going to put into chapters, and although I have a vague idea of what is going to go into this one (a.k.a. I have 2 funny punch lines) I'm going to give a shot!
First song: I just found out about it, like, 10 minutes ago, and I'm in love with it. The lyrics have nothing to do with it, but the beat does... here is the title:
Right here:
About to show:
Are you ready?:
"Fairytale" by Alexander Rybak. Please enjoy!
It was when Axel whispered the words "He looks familiar" that it came to Ulquiorra:
His hand was over Axel's mouth.
He removed his hand and wiped away all the germs that he was completely positive were on his hand. Axel backed off. They stared awkwardly at each other for about 4.38 seconds, then started stalking Mayuri, Nemu and Anti-Sora.
"That Keyblade doesn't fit the description you gave me," Ulquiorra said quietly.
"That's no ordinary, keyblade..." Axel said. Ulquiorra could see where this was going.
"That there is-"
Ulquiorra slammed him in the closet they happened to be beside (otherwise known as The Closet That Never Locks).
"THE KEYBLADE OF PEOPLE'S HEARTS!" Axel silently yelled. Ulquiorra opened the door and let him back out.
"What's the difference between the Keyblades?" Ulquiorra asked, as they went back on their stalking mission.
"This keyblade," Axel said, finally understanding they should be quiet, "Can unlock peoples hearts, releasing the Darkness within. But..."
"Yes?"
"...It can only be completed by gathering the seven hearts of pure light."
At this, Ulquiorra gave out a slight snort, partnered with a smirk. He stopped in his steps, realizing what he had just done.
"What?" Axel whispered. Ulquiorra gave a slight shake of his head.
"Nothing. So where are these... seven hearts of... pure-"
He gave another short snort.
"-pure light?"
"Is there something funny about pure light?"
Ulquiorra turned around with all seriousness on his face.
"Of course not. Continue."
"No no! Tell me what's so funny about this!"
Ulquiorra looked at Mayuri and Anti-Sora from the corner of his eye.
"We should inform Aizen-sama and Xemnas about these two intruders-"
"People keep intruding this castle!" Axel yelled, grabbing Ulquiorra's shoulders and shaking him. Ulquiorra's eyes widened. He turned his head to look at Mayuri and Anti-Sora again who, somehow, didn't hear Axel.
"But we should tell-"
"No!" Axel yelled. He leaned over Ulquiorra, got a tighter grip on his shoulders, and pressed his nose against the Espada's, giving him the angriest look ever to be worn on the face of a man. All of Ulquiorra's none existence colour on his face disappeared.
"Why is it funny.
Tell me.
NOW."
Ulquiorra sighed and stepped back, regaining his personal space.
"I don't believe the heart is an actual object."
Axel's eyes widened, then he crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.
"Think about it," Ulquiorra continued, "There would be no hearts in the world. A heart is born between the bond of two people."
"You mean... like..."
"No Axel, go cleanse your mind."
"Oh, okay! I think I get it! But, I've seen physical hearts, so..."
"You've felt emotions, have you not, Axel?"
Axel paused, opened his mouth about to say something, then got a confused look.
"But... I've seen..."
"I'm not sure what those are," Ulquiorra said. "Perhaps they are actual hearts, or perhaps they are hearts put into corporeal form. However, one cannot lose a heart if someone they enjoy the company of is still with them."
"...what?"
"You'll catch on later, trust me. For now we should- bollocks."
"What? What I don't understand! What did you mean, and why are you British suddenly!"
"My ramble caused us to lose those three. I ponder where they went..."
"PONDER? WHAT'S WITH YOUR LANGUAGE?"
(Song: "Relax, Take it Easy" by Mika. If finished, "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven, and THEN "City" by Hollywood Undead.)
Aizen and Xemnas were sitting at opposite sides of an 18 foot long table (placed in The Room That Was Never Dirty), Aizen sipping tea, Xemnas thinking about hearts. They had been staring at each other for the past 27 minutes, neither one of them blinking. It wasn't an "OH MY GAWD DON'T BLINK" stare, but more of an "if you blink first I will subconsciously be better than you in all ways possible."
There was no clear winner so far.
Suddenly, the door placed perfectly in the middle of the room as to be symmetrical to everything, bursted open.
"Good evening, gentlemen!" Mayuri said, a most devilish grin on his face, followed in by Anti-Sora.
Neither Aizen nor Xemnas moved.
"I do believe I said good evening," Mayuri said, slightly frustrated.
No movement.
"Excuse me!" Mayuri said, much more agitated.
"I'm afraid we can't speak with you currently," Aizen said. Xemnas finished his sentence as Aizen took a sip.
"We are having a very powerful stare-off, intruder. Please sit patiently in the corner."
"I WILL NOT GODDAMN SIT PATIENTLY IN THE CORNER."
Aizen and Xemnas both turned (hesitantly) towards the intruders. Aizens eyes widened when he recognized the man in white, while Xemnas' face turned to confusion seeing the black creature, essence of some black material floating off him.
"Mayuri?"
"Humanized heartless creature that resembles a keyblade bearer?"
Mayuri and Anti-Sora replied:
"I'm surprised you remember me, Aizen."
"The hell man? If you don't know my name, don't describe me! That's like going up to a white guy and saying 'Hello, snow-coloured creature standing on two legs!'"
"Excuse me," Aizen said, standing up, "But I find that quite offensive."
"*BLEEP** BLEEP** BLEEP*, *BLEEP*!"
"...I don't understand why you said bleep four times-"
"SHUT UP AIZEN!"
"Aizen," Xemnas said. Aizen looked at him from the corner of his eye.
"Yes?"
Xemnas turned his head just enough to look at Aizen from the corner of his eye.
"You know this man?"
"Yes, He is the captain of the eleventh squad in Soul Society."
"I see. And why is he here?
"I'm not sure. Perhaps we should ask?"
"Yes, that sounds like a splendid idea."
They turned back towards Mayuri.
"What are you doing here...
...Mayuri?" Aizen asked, with a dramatic pause.
"I've come to conquer, is it not obvious?" Mayuri said. He started walking towards them.
"Once I get rid of the man in black over there, I will have control over the rest of Organization XIII and the Nobodies. Defeating you too, Aizen, will result in control of the Espada and the rest of the Arrancar. Using these creatures I will take over the Soul Society, and then it will be on to the World of the Living, until I rule everything there is to rule! Then EVERYTHING can be part of my experiments!"
"Is that so?" Aizen said, leaning on the table. Xemnas mirrored his actions.
"And what exactly," Aizen continued, "convinces you that you have the power to do so much?"
"It's quite simple, Aizen," Mayuri said, stretching his left arm and uncurling his fingers for no particular reason.
"I have combined my DNA with that of an arrancar and a nobody, giving me their powers."
"No you didn't."
Everyone slowly turned their head towards Aizen.
"I'm sorry," Mayuri said, "but what did you just say?"
"I said no, you didn't. As in, you do not have the powers of an arrancar and a nobody."
"Oh really?" Mayuri said, a giant, creepy grin spreading over his face.
"Observe."
Mayuri lifted his hand towards the wall opposite him, symmetrically between Xemnas and Aizen. He curled back his fingers to reveal his full palm. A small, pink ball of energy gathered in the middle of it, and started to increase in size. Neither Xemnas nor Aizen twitched as the fuchsia cero blasted between them. When the air had died down from the blast (Aizen and Xemnas both wide-eyed), Mayuri then flicked his arm, opening a Corridor of Darkness, from which Nemu walked out from. Mayuri crossed his arms behind him, a satisfied look on his face. Anti-Sora had at this point sat down on the floor, seeing this man practice these techniques every two seconds since they had met.
"Preposterous..." Xemnas said, giving Mayuri a look that said "What the fuck are you?"
Aizen had a death glare on his face, but he refused to look at the Shinigami, and instead looked across his right side, his arms crossed against his ungodly muscular chest.
"Well?" Mayuri asked, very cockily. "Do you believe I have their powers know?"
"This is outrageous!" Xemnas said, getting quite infuriated. He snapped his fingers, and Saix came through a CoD, weapon out and ready to use.
"Saix!" Xemnas boomed, "Big Daddy Xemnas' commands you destroy that horrible piece of life over there!"
Saix, being able to slightly read BDX's mind, charged towards Mayuri. Mayuri merely scoffed. He shot a Bala towards Saix, sending him hurling back towards the opposite wall. Saix stood up, shook himself off, and charged once more. This time the Shinigami did nothing. Saix's Claymore hit Mayuri and...
Left no mark.
"Please, did you really believe I could so easily be injured?"
Nemu, in one swift motion, came between them and slashed at Saix's chest. Saix stumbled back a few feet, then doubled over, coughing up blood. Xemnas ran over. Mayuri turned towards Aizen.
"I've been waiting most of all for your opinion, Aizen."
Aizen sat on the table, crossed his legs, and started tapping his left foot, still refusing to acknowledge Mayuri's existence.
"Don't disappoint me, Aizen!" Mayuri yelled, before shooting a Bala barely inches away from Aizen's head. Aizen stopped his foot tapping, and looked at Mayuri from the corner of his eye.
"Copycat."
Mayuri tilted his head in confusion.
"What?"
Aizen fully turned on Mayuri at this point.
"I WAS GOING TO GAIN THE POWERS OF ALL CREATURES! I had a perfect plan set out, predicting every single movement of every single creature in every single world, taking many long years to fully gain everything, as so no one would get suspicious, but YOU JUST DID IT! HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU?"
"A couple of weeks, at most, really-"
"A COUPLE OF WEEKS!" Aizen said, throwing his hands up in exasperation.
"You probably didn't even CONSIDER all your meals afterwards!"
"...Why would I-"
"YOU CAN'T- you can't just..."
Aizen trailed off, rested his right arm on his left, with his face resting on the fingertips of his right hand. He gave out an angry sigh.
(Song: "Milkshake" by Kelis)
Matsumoto wander the halls to no end. She had run into a few other people, but the occurrences had turned just as awkward as the first one. Eventually she just gave up, sighing and sitting down on the floor where she was.
I wish I could just go back to where Captain and everyone are...
Suddenly, a yellow dog with long, droopy black ears came tromping around the corner. Matsumoto peered up.
"Oh such a cute dog!" she said.
Behind the dog, a random Corridor of Darkness appeared. Matsumoto stared at the CoD, and then at the dog. She picked up his collar and read the nametag.
"Pluto, huh?"
Pluto barked and stood in front of the CoD, wagging his tail. Matsumoto stood up.
"There's probably no harm in walking in through here!"
And that's exactly what she did.
(Song: "Alice Alice" by Victim Effect.)
Demyx, Roxas, Axel, Orihime and Ulquiorra were all sitting in The Grey Area (Demyx and Orihime holding hands and Axel with an arm around an unimpressed Roxas and the other around an unimpressed Ulquiorra).
"Why yes!" said Axel, "I DO enjoy pirate-ninjas!"
Everyone else turned to him.
"No one said anything, Axel," Roxas said, feeling heavy from Axel's arm.
"COMPOUND AWESOME!" Demyx yelled. Everyone's attention went from Axel to Demyx.
"Who what huh now?" Axel said.
"A compound awesome! Allow me to explain."
Demyx put on a pair of thick-rimmed glasses and a chalkboard with everything about a compound awesome already on it. He pulled out a pointer stick from his pocket.
"A compound awesome," he said, pointing to the words "Compound Awesome" with his pointer stick, "is two awesome things put together. Such example, like Axel just said, is a pirate ninja."
He pointed to the words "Pirate" and "Ninja" on the chalkboard, which had an arrow between.
"Or perhaps Organization Espada-"
"What is going on in your brain, Demyx?" Roxas asked.
"Or perhaps... uh..."
Suddenly, the door at the opened was blown off its hinges. Mayuri walked to the middle of the room, while Nemu followed, dragging in both Aizen and Xemnas (who were very beat up), and Anti-Sora after her. The rest of the Organization XIII, excluding Saix, and Espada (because they were all in The Grey Area) turned towards him.
"Please listen closely," Mayuri said, "For this is very important. Your leaders have both been defeated by me, which from hence forth makes me YOUR LEADER-"
"You aren't a Nobody!" Vexen yelled.
"You aren't an Arrancar either!" Szayel said. Szayel and Vexen turned towards each other, and high-fived each other, thinking they had found the flaw in his plan. Mayuri raised an eyebrow.
"Oh really?"
"Here we go," Anti-Sora said, leaning against the wall. Mayuri gave him a dirty look, and then fired off a cero, a couple of balas, and used Sonido to travel quickly across the room, then back to where he had started. He paused for a second, thinking, then opened a Corridor of Darkness. It stayed open for about a second, then closed again.
"... Is... that the only Nobody thing you can do?" Xigbar asked, peeking up from his hiding place behind a couch.
"Well, I some other powers, but it would take too much time."
"So you have the powers all of US have?" Starrk asked, an arm around Halibel, keeping her safe.
"Copy... cat..." Aizen mumbled before blacking out again.
"HA!" Demyx yelled, standing up and pointing to Mayuri. "He's a compound awesome too!"
"Really, Demyx?" Luxord yelled from across the room. Demyx quietly slid back down to his hiding place.
"How in Hueco Mundo did you acquire such powers?" Marluxia asked. Everyone was greatly confused by why he was so curious, but they were more confused about how the Shinigami had gotten the powers, so instead of going "LOL FAG" at Marluxia, they all waited for the answer. Mayuri gave a most creepy, gruesome smile.
"Ask those two over there."
Everyone looked to where Mayuri was pointing his finger. In the corner where the finger was pointing to, Grimmjow and Larxene stood, obviously VERY angered, but terrified at the same time.
"Fuck you," Grimmjow said, flipping him the finger. Everyone was shocked (not because he swore, he does that all the time). Mayuri was very satisfied with the damage he had done.
Now then, he thought, what should I do first...
*gasp* WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN? What are Mayuri's plans? Where did Matsumoto go? How many compound awesomes can you think of? WE'LL HAVE TO FIND OUT NEXT CHAPTER!
...Except for the compound awesome thing. Try to think of one, and perhaps I'll mention the best one in the next chapter! Rate and Review please!