Discs.: I don't own Criminal Minds nor its characters (as u guys should know by now)

A/N: I just finished typing this new chap - it was already finished on my note pad for a while but I was kinda busy and also lazy so I waited 'til now...Hope there are not too many errors in it. I wanna thank my dear friend Makena for her help on this! Hope you'll enjoy reading! Broken

Making a decision

When Hotch woke up the next morning he felt like crap. He knew it had been a mistake to go to Elle the passed night - had known so even before he had arrived at her apartment, but he just couldn't help it...

Of course he regretted the way he had treated her - regretted having told her that it meant nothing...

And to top this he knew now that he was sick - his head was aching terribly just like his throat and he was pretty sure that he was running a fever. Nonetheless he forced himself to get up and dressed.

A few minutes later he went downstairs and searched for Haley and Jack. When he couldn't find them he simply sat down on the couch and switched the TV on.

Several hours later :

Hotch had almost fallen asleep when he heard the front-door being opened. He turned and saw Haley enter with Jack on her arms, so he got up and approached his wife.

"You're awake?" Haley asked.

"Yeah, can I help you somehow?"

"Well, you could take care of Jack, while I bring the groceries inside..." They locked eyes and shared a smile.

"Sure."

Haley handed Jack over to his dad and went to get the rest of the things she had bought.

Meanwhile Hotch sat back down on the couch, Jack sitting on his lap. A smile appeared on his face when Jack started laughing.

When Haley sat down next to him, a smile on her lips, Jack yawned and Hotch got up to bring him upstairs.

As Hotch returned Haley had started to prepare dinner.

"Hey..." Haley greeted him and gave him a soft kiss onto his cheek.

"Hey yourself..."

"Is he sleeping?"

"Yeah...So what are your plans for dinner?" Hotch pulled her into a tight embrace.

"That's supposed to be a surprise..." They locked eyes and shared a smile, before she asked,

"How are you?"

"Honestly? I already felt better in my life..." He had to pause, because he started coughing, then he added,

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"Well, I figured you could use the sleep - I just couldn't get you awake anyways...And it's nice to have you at home."

"It's great to be there...I know I've been very absent recently and I'm really sorry for that..."

"Aaron...Stop it, okay? It's alright, after all you're here now...Oh, and don't worry about work. Jason called earlier and I told him that you're sick. He assured me that they'll be fine - and agreed that you could use a break."

"You're wonderful. I don't know what I would do without you..." Hotch gave Haley a kiss onto her forehead, then he released her from his embrace and let her get back to preparing dinner.

"Can I help you somehow?" They shared a long glance.

Haley shook slowly her head and smiled.

"Not really...Just take a seat and relax."

"Okay..." Hotch surrundered and sat down in the living-room.

They both knew that he wasn't much of a help when it came down to cooking and such things - never had been.

After dinner :

"You didn't like it, did you?" Haley asked, taking a seat on the couch, next to her husband.

"No Haley, it was delicious - really. It's just that I wasn't that hungry and furthermore is my throat hurting pretty badly, so..." Hotch explained why he had barely eaten anything.

"You should go and see a doctor tomorrow."

"I will consider it..."

"You promise?" Haley asked, looking sceptical at him and gave him a soft kiss.

"Yeah, I promise." They shared a long tender kiss.

When they broke the kiss, because Jack had woken up and was crying and he watched Haley getting up to take care of their son Hotch felt for the first time in ages - or so it seemed to him - that he really still loved his wife.

Hotch let his head hang and got lost in his thoughts, he knew that being with Elle had been wrong, no matter if it actually felt also that way to him or not. He also knew that in the end it would only make them both unhappy if he kept his recent behavior up...

"You're okay, honey?"

Hotch looked up and saw that Haley had returned. A smile appeared on his face and he replied :

"Yeah, I was just thinking..."

"'Bout what?" They locked eyes.

"About the recent events. I mean, I realized that I behaved like an idiot..."

"Well, it was a really tough time for you..." Haley smiled softly at him.

"That might be true, but that doesn't make it right. I hurt you so much - and I'm incredible sorry for that."

"Don't be...After all you're here now. And we'll have enough time to talk about everything."

"I guess so..." They kissed again.

"You should get some sleep, Aaron." Haley smiled at him.

"Really? But I'm not tired at all..." He smirked at his wife and they shared a passionate kiss.

The next morning :

When Hotch entered the kitchen Haley smiled at him and said :

"Breakfast is almost ready..."

She turned back around to take care of making breakfast and asked :

"How are you doing?"

Meanwhile Hotch walked up to her and put his arms around her waist.

"I'm doing good, I think..." Hotch kissed softly the side of her neck,

"Last night was wonderful..."

Haley turned toward him, a bright smile on her lips.

"Yeah it was..."

"I love you Haley." Hotch stated and meant every single word, he really felt better and it was definitely good for him to be at home.

He had caused a lot of damage, he knew that pretty good, but he was willing to do everything he could for getting things back to how they were supposed to be.

"Aaron? We can eat." Haley interrupted his train of thought and their smiles widened, unsure about how long it had been since they had been able to have breakfast together without rushing...

Hotch was happy that he had the opportunity to enjoy breakfast with his family. Normally he had always to hurry because he needed to get to work.

While Haley was pouring some coffee into two mugs on the table, Hotch started feeding Jack.

Haley smiled at her husband. He seemed totally relaxed, so at ease at this very moment...

"You should eat as well, before it gets cold."

"You're probably right..." They shared a smile.

Some time later :

While Hotch was sitting on the couch watching Jack playing on the floor, he got lost in his thoughts again. He started to think once more about what Morgan had said...

Hotch knew of course that his colleague was partly right - he couldn't risk losing his job and even by far less his family, no matter what he was feeling for Elle. He just couldn't have a relationship with one of his subordinates - and Elle meant way too much to him as that he could be okay with just having an affair with her in the first place.

Another problem he had to face was the possiblity that she might have feelings for Morgan.

And after all, who was he trying to fool? - Elle deserved so much more than what he could ever offer her. She deserved to be with somebody who was able to really be with her, someone who didn't need to hide their relationship, who could go out with her without having to worry that his wife or a colleague could see them together.

He knew that Morgan was right - he would only get her hurt, he could never make Elle happy...

Sure he wanted her, longed to be with her, but he knew that she deserved happiness and that was simply something he couldn't give her.

Plus he was too afraid of how it could affect their working relationship as that he could keep his behavior up. It was simply better if he ended it now before his feelings for her became even stronger, before he was so deep into it that there was no turning back anymore. He was going to be damn lucky if their friendship and great working relationship survived what he had done so far...

Hotch sighed, he wasn't even sure if he really loved her as much as she deserved...He had never told Elle how he was feeling about her - he just couldn't bring himself to do it - instead he had told her that it meant nothing to him.

Maybe he could make himself actually believe that it really meant nothing to him, that he really didn't love her if he just told it himself often enough.

Another sigh escaped his mouth. Why had it to be so damn complicated? Why had he fallen for Elle, even though he loved his wife and son? - Sure Elle was beautiful, if not to say gorgeous, she was smart and futhermore a great agent and profiler, but that were only a few of so many reasons...

What had really caught his attention, his heart, was the fact that Elle understood him, he was able to talk with her...A moment later Hotch was interrupted in his thoughts by his wife.

"Are you okay?"

Hotch looked up and forced a smile onto his lips.

"Yeah, but I think I should get some sleep..."

"Okay..." Haley smiled at him and gave him a soft kiss onto the cheek.

He got up from the couch and went to the bedroom. As he lay down Hotch hoped that he would fall asleep soon, he didn't want to think too much about his problems, about Elle...

After all, he had finally made a decision - he wanted to try pretending that he didn't love her...He simply had to do the right thing, wanted to do the right thing - or at least he had to try...

Unfortunately he couldn't find to sleep. After a while Hotch sat up and got his cell phone. For a few minutes he just stared at it, wondering if he should call Elle to talk with her about his decision, explaining why he had come to the conclusion that he couldn't be with her, and why he had treated her the way he had done.

But eventually he put the cell back onto the nightstand. After all, he knew that he should talk with Elle about this entire situation in person and futhermore he didn't want to risk that Haley heard anything about it...

Hotch let out a heavy sigh once again he cursed at himself for his damn cowardness...

Another sigh escaped his mouth as he realized that all he could do now was hoping that things could go back to how they used to be...

Tbc

A/N: Thanks for reading! Please take the time to review!