South Park

Dip

Ungodly Addiction

Characters: Phillip 'Pip' Pirrup, Damien the Antichrist.

Rating: M for strong language, adult themes, nudity, violence, sexual… stuff… and a really crappy storyline.

I have a universal Disclaimer in my Profile, so all angry mobs bearing pitchforks and torches are unnecessary.

**DIP**

Bloody hell; not again…

I quickly reshuffle my body, tucking the tray of food I've only half-eaten behind my back as I hear the Fatass slowly wallowing his way towards his-basement-turned-my-prison. I'm at a loss as to why he's returning so soon; he usually only comes down here every day or two, but this is the third time today he's been to visit.

I let my head fall backwards, hitting the wall with a clunking noise as he rolls through the door and bounces down the steps in intense agitation. I look at him boredly as he paces in front of me, obviously too angry to be able to string together a sentence – not that he could achieve that beforehand.

"Any reason I've been blessed with yet another pouting session?" I ask mildly, smirking inwardly at the rage-filled glare that comment earns me. Cartman paces again, back and forth… back and forth… back and forth… until finally he appears to get dizzy and falls into a puddle of fat on a nearby chair – one he brought down a long time ago, because apparently standing upright is far too physically draining for him.

I sit and I watch him with what I'd call a look of unadulterated disgust as his ridiculously heavy breathing slowly returns to a healthier speed and density. My foot begins to tap impatiently at the slightly damp floor, waiting for the imminent belly-aching and whining that is sure to come my way.

You can understand then why I'm surprised when, instead of opening his mouth to complain, the Fatass slowly heaves his large posterior out of the tiny, broken-looking chair and approaches me slowly. Those tiny, piggy eyes squint at me from the layers of fat in an expression that can only be described as loathing as he leans right up to me, his nose inches from my own.

"You know, I really, really, really hate faggots."

I resist the urge to snort.

"I did, in fact, realise this, Eric. The fact that I; (a) am presently in a relationship with a boy, and (b) am also presently chained to your basement's water system was an excellent hint. Any other obvious statements you'd like to make, or are you going to leave me be once again?" I sneer; quietly deciding that the particular shade or purple Eric is turning now is my new favourite colour.

Cartman again surprises me by not taking the bait and replying snappily, but instead he just backs up and starts pacing again. Something – or someone – is obviously getting on his nerves. I want to send them flowers.

"Come now, Eric. This prolonged thinking is putting too much strain on your poor brain. Tell me, who's got you so worked up? They're my new best friend." I goad, wondering if his stubborn pride will rise to the occasion once again.

I'm satisfied to say that yes, his pride does take a hit and the walking whale cannot resist lashing out with his own wagging tongue.

"Oh, I'm sure you've gone well past the 'friend' stage with him, you fucking fag," He growls, and I blink in confusion. Fatass sees my indecision and pounces.

"That's right. Unless you're not only a gay pussy, but also a cock-slut, the person who's got me so pissed off is your one and only Damien."

I'm not sure whether to take the way Cartman spat out my boyfriend's name like it's a disease as an insult, or a compliment. So, like any intelligent creature, I choose to remain silent as Eric Cartman slowly sinks into one of his hissy-fits.

"That bastard is sooooo smug, waltzing around out there like he hasn't a care in the world. Asking everyone whether they've seen you and claiming to be worried sick, when obviously he knows exactly where you are, and is just trying to mess with my head. Well, it's not going to work!"

I decide not to point out that, technically, any mind-games Damien may or may not have been playing with the Fatass have already worked, and worked well.

"That's right. If he doesn't give in to my demands - which really aren't that impossible, anyway – then I'll just have to make a point." Cartman finishes his muttering and turns to me, eyes gleaming in perverse, angry insanity.

"Oh, fantastic, you've finally lost all sense, have you? Just how do you expect to make a point to the Son of Satan?" I can't help the scorn in my voice, and honestly I don't care.

Cartman pauses in his stomping about in a huff and turns to me again. He prowls forward, stopping inches from my face. All I can see is his ugly features – his beady black eyes; his ballooning, ruddy cheeks; his crooked teeth set in his wide, craggy leer… disgusting.

"I'm gonna get back at that son of a bitch by taking away the only thing he seems to care about," the Fatass grins. I hold my breath unconsciously, feeling his putrid halitosis wash over my face. His words confuse me somewhat; what could he possibly care about…?

Oh, right. That's why he's grinning.

He's talking about me.

Sigh.

"How the hell do you plan to take away from him, what you already have?"

Cartman leans back – thankfully – and smiles in misguided superiority. His hand delves into his pocket and – after much struggling and cursing – retrieves a small key. The chuckling teenager moves around and detaches me from the wall, allowing me to stand and stretch.

"I'm going to taint you. Make him never want you ever again. He won't be able to look at you, without seeing me."

My jaw drops in horror. Surely not! He himself is a confessed homosexual hater; surely he wouldn't sink so low, just for revenge –

Wait.

This is Eric Cartman we're talking about…

Bugger,

I am so screwed.

AN ~

Hello, faithful readers!

Thank you all for reading this, and for leaving such motivating and happy reviews!

I love you all.

Oh, shut up, it's the tenth chapter, I'm feeling sentimental.

Emphasis being on Mental.

Now, I just wanna give a huge shout out and thank you to HappyNoddleGirl666, whose advice and happy thoughts have been invaluable. She gave me some brilliant ideas for this chapter and next. I did try your latest idea, but it got too long, sorry!

In the next chapter this story will almost definitely live up to it's M rating, just a forewarning…

Be prepared for angst laden, drama-filled sexual tension goodness in the future!

Oh and maybe an epiphany or two…

Until next time!

Zanchev.