Chapter summary: Because it doesn't matter what, I'll always return here. I'll always return to those who need me

Chapter inspiration: If I was your vampire (Instrumental) – Marilyn Manson

For the first time I'm not afraid. I'm sure that I'm doing the right thing and who cares if it is going to hurt someone? I did care for a long time but now everything changed…

I walk in the hangar and immediately see Jasper standing near the wall, alone. Every other man is surrounded by their family. And the Cullens abandoned Jasper. What is wrong with that fucking family? Are they really blind?

I close his eyes with my hands and whisper in his ear to guess who it is. He laughs and turns to me smiling brightly. He has a uniform on which makes him look as if he had a Vogue photoshoot.

"You look stunning," I tell him still checking Jasper out. He shakes his head in joking manner.

"You look relaxed…" he notes without a hint of a joke. "Had a good night?" he asks smirking.

"No, well, not what you're thinking, Mister. He's just a friend… and he knows how to cheer you up without fucking, you know," sarcasm lacing my voice and I roll my eyes instinctively. "I hope, you have a good holiday, just don't get yourself in tight situations, make some human friends and enjoy your time, and please, don't forget to call, I'll miss you," I give him instructions hugging him around the waist.

"Yes, Mom," he joked hugging me back. "I will be your little goody-two shoes boy and won't make others cry…"

I look up at him and wink.

"You know calling me mother when I have such thought in my head is a little too much…"

Before Jasper can answer, I stand up on my toes and kiss him on the lips holding onto his shoulders. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and my tongue clashes with his for dominance. I step back as I feel them coming closer. He smirks at me and hugs once more and we play a perfect little sister-brother relationship.

Edward comes into view first and I step back allowing him a moment with his brother. Edward claps Jasper on the back and gives him advices (orders). And Jasper doesn't really listen. He doesn't like being ordered around and of course he can feel Edward's intentions. Then Carlisle and Esme come in and Alice is trailing behind them and there is an expression of utter annoyance and frustration on her face. She really can't pretend, little bitch. Esme is sobbing and hugs Jasper nearly crushing him in her death grip and maybe Esme is the only one who cares about her family enough to care to find out what happens with her children. Carlisle gives an advice – try not to be around blood – and he doesn't care that his son maybe offended by this words, no, all Carlisle cares for is his own fucking peace. Because if Jasper snaps Volturi will come for Carlisle because Jasper is an experienced fighter and he can avoid Jane's attacks. I'm sure he'll kill a lot of them before they bring him down. Rosalie walks into the hangar like she owns the place and she doesn't even want to pretend like she cares what is going on with Jasper and why he wants to leave the family even if it just for a little while. Slut. And Emmett – the blessed idiot – he is a good brother, he wants his family to stay together, but he doesn't know how to make us all love each other as he loves us (and every other being on this planet).

I watch Jasper go and I know, that everything will be fine, at least with him, because I have an angry husband to face, an angry slut to listen to her bitching and pixie that really needs to grow up and take off her pink sunglasses. I turn around and face them without fear, without regret. I'm happy as I am.

"Had fun?" snarled Edward and I roll my eyes.

Got, Edward, grow up! Stop being the fucking child from a century ago and become a normal grown-up who knows how to loosen up and smile.

"Explain what do you mean by fun and I'll tell you. You want to know if I fucked someone? No, I didn't. The man you saw yesterday is my friend and colleague. And he's smart enough not to make moves on me because I'm married. Forgot that?" I glare at him and brush past not really wanting to deal with him.

What kind of husband will question his wife about her cheating on him when his whole family is around? Edward doesn't respect himself at all, does he?

I exit the hangar and hail some cab.

"Where to, Miss?"

"42, *** Street"

It won't hurt to be bad for some time. I miss something I've never had, but now I feel that it's time to claim everything I want. But he's the one deciding my fate now. The taxi stops near the house and I get out going up the stairs that lead to the door. I knock three times and I can hear his steps coming closer.

He opens the door and stares at me like I'm a ghost.

"I thought you're seeing off your brother…"

"I was," I agree. "but now I'm running away from my angry husband and I thought about going here if you won't kick me out"

"I won't," he says and pulls the door wide open. "Come in, want a drink?"

I shake my head, maybe I want to bend rules but not about drinking. I hope the evening will be full of life like Eames… maybe I'll even ask him to teach me how to play cards… Yes, I'll do just that.

I throw my head back and laugh stepping into the warehouse, Eames is right next to me and he tells me the story that happened to him awhile ago. It looks as if it's his unluckiest holidays because Eames there isn't the good guy nor he wins in the end. He is laughing too, maybe because he knows how ridiculous the story is or maybe he remembers visiting doctors after the fight in the bar.

Arthur is the only one in the warehouse already working on his computer and searching and searching and searching and he only nods at us with suspicious eyes but the look is gone and he's already back to searching. I head off to my place and start sketching a few ideas I got for the second layer. By the time Cobb strolls in, Eames is messing with Arthur's papers and looks at mine but if he touches them I'm going to kill him. That I promise and it doesn't matter how much I like him.

Another hour passes and Arthur puts his coat and goes out without telling anything to anyone. Typical Arthur. I just hope that he will buy some strong, hot coffee at his way back because I'm dying to drink something… water, tea but better coffee or blood….

I feel a tug on my ponytail and I instantly know who it is.

"Eames, what happened?"

"I forgot to say thank you for helping me with injuries…. Well, thank you," he smiles at me like a fucking Cheshire cat and then winks.

I groan and try to concentrate on my job but… it became a little hot here and I can feel eyes watching me. Damn him for knowing how to read people. Thanks God, I don't blush anymore….

I can hear Arthur's steps, heavy and ungraceful… He's panting and it feels like there is blood, but not his. Yes, there is blood on his arms, I can smell it. I stop breathing immediately still not trusting myself around exposed human blood. I don't wait for him to show up in the door but I go for a towel and drown it into water. When Arthur walks in I give him a towel without Cobb noticing and I see his Adam Apple move like he's gulping nervously. I smile reassuring him that I'm not angry or disgusted by his actions. I understand him. It's his work, he has to get the information we need any way he can and torturing is one of them. I don't like it, I don't like torturing or killing, but it's o'kay, because I know that I won't end up killed in the dream or in coma in reality, because Eames told me about humans getting hurt in the dream but not killed and that they blacken out there and never wake up in this world.

Returning to work I wonder who was killed and how many tried to kill Arthur. But I know that he'll tell us in time. I trust Arthur enough to keep us safe.

I return home at midnight when I'm sure that Edward is sleeping and won't wake up. And he doesn't. I slip into our bed near him and I understand that even if I don't belong here and my heart is arching for something else… I'll always be needed here for the family, for Renesmee, for Jacob. And I will always come back because Edward is my vampire.