Warning: This chapter contains mention of sexual assault. Discretion is advised.
Chapter 10
Having not seen his sister in a few years, it was strange for him to see her shorter than him, where the top of her head just came up to his nose. Her eyes were streaked with red cracks and sunken in, surrounded by dark rings. She had plumped up a bit due to her pregnancy, a sight that shocked Ryuichi when he had only ever seen her thin.
Her apartment was small but cozy, with the puny kitchen by the front door, a small living room with a sofa that occupied a third of the space, and a bedroom branching off from it. There were stacks of clothes on the green sofa, cardboard boxes that were still flattened, fresh from the store, and many other personal items that Shizue pushed aside to let her brother sit. Ryuichi left his damp umbrella in the bucket by the front door, then removed his black parka and set it on the sofa's arm.
"So, how's my not-so-little brother been doing?" Shizue asked him. She smiled, resembling the older sister he used to know.
"I'm pretty okay," he replied as she poured him some tea. "How've you been?"
"Hormonal, mostly." She giggled.
Like the men in their family, Shizue also had the watery blue eyes and the silvery-gray hair. The two siblings could have been fraternal twins, the way Ryuichi saw it, and briefly entertained the thought that he was the cuter one between them.
"Uh, so, how's the packing going?" he asked. A quick look around at the messy apartment answered his question.
She gestured towards all the stuff lying around. "You can see for yourself," she said sheepishly. "It's hard enough just moving around, but then I get distracted whenever I find stuff."
She stroked her belly lovingly. "I can't wait to see my little girl. I've already decided that I'm gonna call her Megumi because she's my little blessing."
"Megumi, huh?" He weighed the name on his tongue. "Wait, so you're having a girl?"
"Yeah. Didn't Mom tell you?"
"I didn't even know she—"
His stomach gurgled, as if upset that Shizue's was getting all the attention. Ryuichi had been too anxious to eat a proper meal all day, and now it came back to haunt him.
"S-Sorry," he uttered, embarrassed.
His sister chuckled. "Actually, that's some good timing you've got. I was thinking of ordering a pizza."
They each ordered a pizza and started packing up Shizue's things while they waited. Shizue organized items and wrapped the more delicate ones in newspaper while Ryuichi did all the heavy lifting. He packed away her things, taped boxes, and set the finished boxes down in a corner away from the chaos. As Ryuichi finished taping up another full box, he heard Shizue sniffling and sobbing from the couch.
"What's wrong?"
She flapped a hand at her flushed face, holding up an old kitten calendar. "It's just, it's so cute," she gushed. "Sorry. Hormones."
Chuckling, Ryuichi turned to flash his sister a warm smile. "Want me to get you some chocolate?"
"You still remember?" she asked in amazement. "Oh, gawd. I'm so sorry for yelling at you all those times before."
She began to wail, apologizing frantically. Ryuichi started to panic, afraid that he had done something wrong. "Uh, it's really okay," he said gently. "I knew you were on your period and all, so—"
Her demeanor changed. Her spiteful eyes glowered at him, filled with raw anger and still wet with tears.
"It wasn't just me being on my period! Sometimes you can be a total dick!"
He stepped back with his hands up. "Whoa! Okay, sorry! You're right!"
Shizue dumped some books into a box and tromped off to her room. Ryuichi stood tense and afraid, where he feared that even breathing would incur her rage. As he tiptoed around the room to get more things to pack, the doorbell rang, making him jump.
"Scared by freakin' pizza," he muttered as he answered the door. He quickly took the pizzas and handed over several bills, closing the door without waiting for his change. All he could hope for was that his sister would accept the food as a peace offering.
Shizue came when he called her to eat, but for the first tense minutes of both of them nibbling on some slices, Ryuichi was too scared that anything he said right then would bother her. He kept his head down as he ate, their lack of conversation resulting in him gobbling up his slices quickly.
"Hey, Ryu-chan?" she asked in a quiet voice, catching him off guard. "How mad are Mom and Dad?"
He remembered the brief conversation they had on his birthday. "Well, uh, they're not too happy, but I think they'll cool down once you're there. Nobody can get mad at a pregnant lady."
"I'm serious! Are they pissed or not?"
Ryuichi exhaled slowly through his nose. "You know they can't stay mad at you," he murmured darkly.
It rained all day, both outside and inside the apartment. Every so often, Shizue would pause and shed some tears whenever she came across certain items. Ryuichi was afraid to so much as think that it was hormones making her that way, not wanting to risk upsetting her again. The two continued to pack, surprising Ryuichi at how much stuff Shizue owned in such a small apartment.
The rain turned the already chilly room into the equivalent of an ice box. Ryuichi tried turning on the air condition in the living room, but his sister told him that it was broken.
"I have a heater if you want," Shizue offered as she handed over a blanket.
He saw what looked almost like a short fan on her bedroom floor that glowed with an orange light. From what he could tell, it was the only one she had.
"Nah, I'm good," he said, smiling. "I'm pretty used to the cold. My room in the dorm is on the first floor, so it's always freezing during winter time."
Her unease didn't leave her face. "Are you sure? It's as cold as murder here."
"Positive."
He had no regrets as he settled fully clothed on the couch. His fingers and toes were the first to go numb from the cold while he shivered violently throughout the night. Even with the added layer of his parka spread out on top of his blanket, the only warmth he could find came from his thoughts of how his sister and her baby needed the heater more.
He questioned himself on whether or not he should have said what he said to Shizue about their parents. Even she had to have grown up aware that they favored her more than him, he was sure, but she never did anything to protest against their favoritism. Ryuichi was certain that he had been too harsh before, and he wondered if he should apologize.
The next day, the rain continued to fall. Ryuichi had to go out and buy more boxes for his sister, struggling to protect the boxes under his umbrella. The corners were drenched, but there was nothing he could do about it.
At a crosswalk, he readjusted the flattened boxes, taking care to let them rest atop his shoe so they wouldn't touch the ground. A man with the sniffles came up next to him, and without warning, he turned and coughed right into Ryuichi's face. Ryuichi tilted his umbrella down to shield himself, the rain soaking into his clothes and into the boxes.
When he returned to his sister's apartment, he heard retching inside. He dumped the boxes near the door to hurry to the bathroom, feeling a soft, warm, wet, chunky puddle soak into his sock with a squelch. He nearly gagged, knowing what he stepped in.
Swallowing his nausea, Ryuichi continued to the bathroom to hold his sister's hair out of her face and gently massage her back. Her muscles contracted in sudden jerks as she expelled her breakfast of leftover pizza into the toilet bowl.
"Th-Thanks," Shizue uttered, spitting after.
When she started feeling better, he helped her to the couch before cleaning up the vomit on the floor. He washed pizza chunks off his socks, leaving both to hang in the bathroom to dry off. For the rest of the day, he had to keep going back and forth between packing his sister's things and caring for her.
"Hey, Mitsuru," he said wearily over the phone that night. "Sorry, but it doesn't look like I'll be coming home tonight after all."
"That's quite all right," she replied. "How are things over there?"
"Not bad. Packing just went a little slow today, is all."
"Do you think you'll be home tomorrow?"
"Yeah. We finished packing just now, so we just need to wait until the movers get here tomorrow morning. I'll take Shizue to our parents' place and then head home."
He felt a tickle in his nose. The sneeze came out before he could stop it.
"I hope you're not falling ill."
"I wouldn't be surprised," he sniffled. "It's freezing here."
When he hung up, he saw Shizue standing in the doorway, smirking at him.
"You've grown a lot since I've been gone," she said, coming towards him. "I remember you used to be so shy around Mitsuru-san, and now you're talking to her so casually."
He went to drop down onto the couch. "Well, it's inevitable when you sit behind her in every class you've had together," he murmured.
"Not to mention she saved your ass before."
"Yeah. That, too."
He sniffled and started to spread his blanket out on the sofa. Sitting down, he took out a packet of tissues from his pocket to blow his nose.
"Are you guys going out? Is that why you called her?"
His nose sounded off like an alarmed trumpet. "What? No! We're not like that!"
"Do you still like her?"
He avoided her gaze as she sat down beside him. "No, I don't," he answered. "And for the record, we're very good friends."
"You can tell me," she said, nudging him on the arm. "Come on. You still like her, don't you?"
Someone banged on the door, making them both jump. "Shizzzue! Open up!" came a man's slurred voice. "I godda take a pissh!"
"Don't say anything," his sister whispered to him as she shrunk behind him.
"Who is that?"
"My ex. He didn't take the break up too well."
Ryuichi dared to guess. "Is he the father?"
She wrinkled her nose. "Not this guy. I broke up with him way before I knew I was pregnant."
More banging. "Shizzzue! Open up, bitch!"
Rage filled Ryuichi, building in his shoulders like armor. He got up and went to the door.
"Ryu-chan, don't!"
He opened the door and saw a young man slumped against the door frame with a beer bottle in hand.
"Go away," he told the man gruffly. "You're bothering everyone."
The man's head lolled towards him. "Who the fffuck're you?"
"Go away," he said again, grit in his voice.
The man snorted. "Yeah? Well, fuck you!"
He swung his bottle at Ryuichi's head. He blocked, grabbed his wrist and twisted, throwing the drunk to the ground. He pinned him down with his knee.
"Get offa me!"
"Then go away!"
He let go. The drunk fumbled around before staggering to his feet.
"Fuck you!" he yelled at Ryuichi. "Fuck you and that whore!"
Ryuichi felt his whole body lurch forward, wanting to destroy the guy for what he called his sister. He clenched every muscle, stopping him in place as he watched the guy shamble off down the hall. Back in the apartment, he found a frightened Shizue rubbing her tears out of her eyes.
"Thanks," she mumbled. Her voice was small, far from the fearless girl he once knew. "Where did you learn to do that?"
Ryuichi nervously scratched a spot on his ear. "Well, I got hired to be Mitsuru's bodyguard and butler, so—"
The surprise and intrigue was plain on her face, telling him that she needed to know what her little brother had been up to since she last saw him.
They stayed up late that night, talking and catching up on the past few years. Ryuichi had hoped that his sister's wild years would have ended by the time she got to college, but it sounded to him like she had gotten even worse since leaving home. She ignored her classes, went partying all the time, did more than her fair share of drugs, got piss drunk almost every night, and had so many one-night stands that it made Ryuichi's rumored love triangle look like a kindergarten drama.
The most agonizing of her tales was from the night she suspected she got pregnant. According to her, she had gotten drunk at a party and passed out and later awoke to a couple of guys forcing themselves on her while a third filmed the act. Ryuichi's stomach soured from just listening to the story, feeling only a tiny fraction of the helplessness she must have gone through on that night.
"I don't know how I managed to survive that semester," Shizue wept, shaking. "I skipped so many classes because I was scared that someone had seen the video, or that I'd see those guys again."
He hugged his sister. It was all he could do for her right then, knowing it wasn't enough. In that instant, all the bitterness he felt towards her dissolved and became guilt.
"You're incredible," Ryuichi said softly to her. "After what you went through, you still sobered up and got through your classes. I'm proud of you."
She sniffled. "Y-Yeah, but—"
Shizue pulled away, her head bowed. "I c-couldn't, um, finish this last semester," she murmured, her sobs bubbling up. "I just—It was so hard just getting through the fall, so—"
She didn't graduate. Ryuichi knew that their parents would be infuriated when she told them—if she tells them at all. Though, he was certain that they would figure it out when they weren't invited to attend the graduation ceremony. He couldn't blame her for not finishing, though he was amazed that, after hearing how she skipped classes regularly, she was still able to almost finish getting her degree.
The next day, the movers arrived to load Shizue's things into their small truck. Shizue was in tears again, but this time, Ryuichi was certain that it wasn't her hormones firing off again. When the moving truck started on its way to their parents' house, Ryuichi shouldered both his bag and his sister's weighty backpack while he ushered Shizue into the awaiting cab to head to the train station.
Poor Shizue was fussy the whole time, unable to get comfortable during the first train ride. Ryuichi paid extra for better seats on the next train, which seemed to quiet her down, especially after he bought her food.
Ryuichi knew he was sick with a cold, but he kept smiling and helping his sister try to get as comfortable as possible. His head felt hot, his body frozen, and he couldn't stop sniffling or shaking.
"Can you sniffle any louder?" Shizue hissed at him.
He had to keep reminding himself that Shizue's pregnancy was adding to her irritability and discomfort. For the next few hours, he could only allow himself the luxury of daydreaming that he was able to explain to her that he was sick.
They survived the multiple train transfers. Their mother was waiting for them at the last station with the car, looking absolutely delighted to see her daughter back from college.
"I need to be getting back to the dorm," Ryuichi told both women after a round of hugs and mild chatter.
They both insisted that he should go with them to the house, but he declined, telling them that he needed to get back to work as soon as possible. Neither believed his lie until he mentioned Mitsuru.
"Then you should have planned to take more days off from work," his mother chided him.
He tried hard to not roll his eyes. "Yes, Mom," he reluctantly agreed.
On his way home, he stopped by a grocery store to pick up a few ingredients for ginger tea and some cold medicine. His hands wouldn't stop shaking as he attempted to hand over some cash to the clerk. His whole body seized up as he trudged home with his plastic bag of goodies hanging from the crook in his elbow, his fists deep in his pockets for warmth.
Back at the dorm, he wasted no time preparing his ginger tea. Just a few sips of the spicy tea got him sweating, fending off the chill of his bedroom. There, he turned on the heater, set up his humidifier, and changed into sweats before sliding into bed. Sleep came shortly after.
He awoke to a sharp ringing in his ears. Alarmed, he flung himself from his bed to grab at his jeans on the floor for his cell phone.
"H-Hello?"
"Welcome home," came Mitsuru's warm greeting. "Sorry, did I wake you?"
He slithered back into bed. "No, not at all," he replied, noticing the ring of sweat soaked around his collar. "Are you home right now?"
"At my family home, yes. Did you catch a cold? You sound a bit congested."
He confirmed her suspicions with a sniffle. "Yeah."
"Do you need medicine?"
"Nah, I got some on my way home."
"Do you need anything else? I can pick something up for you."
"I'm good." Yawning, Ryuichi started kicking off his socks. "I'll see you at home."
"Very well. And, don't trouble yourself with making tea for me."
He let out a weak, stuffy laugh. "I am such a good butler."
After they hung up, Ryuichi began peeling off the layers of sweat-drenched pajamas off of his body until all he wore were his boxer shorts. Within seconds, he went from blazing hot to freezing cold. He covered up with his thick blanket, only for the heat to return quickly after. Even sticking his feet out from under the covers made him freeze over.
Every few minutes, he would wake from an exhaustive nap feeling grimy with sweat. He kept glancing at his clock, noticing that he would sleep in fifteen-minute increments. It was as though time stopped whenever he was burning up or half-frozen. There were no moments during his transition from hot or cold, no toasty warmth or cool comfort. Either he burned with a raging fever or shivered with violent chills.
Worse still was how lonely he felt. He turned on his TV to keep him company while he slept, and to get some sensation that time was still moving forward. His feverish dreams were filled with loud game show hosts with swollen balloons for heads, who made lame jokes before explaining the rules of their games. Every dream he had always seemed to take place in a volcano.
He woke up again, this time to something cold being pressed to his forehead. Flinching, his eyes eased open to see Kikuno standing over him with a damp cloth in her hand.
"You are very fortunate that I was the one who came in here," she said to him, smiling. "Ojou-sama would have seen things I don't think you would want her to see."
He let out a groan. "Didn't you at least knock first?"
"I did, but your TV was too loud for you to hear me."
While she looked him over, he fell asleep again. The next day, his cold became the flu. He suspected that he caught it from the guy at the street corner, or lady on the train, or maybe even someone at the grocery store. Whoever it was, he cursed them all through his on-and-off fever, body aches, and chills while doing the same for the miserable weather, knowing that his two-week break would mostly be spent in bed.