Nessie was dreaming. She was running through the woods with Jacob. He was in his wolf form. They were running faster and faster, racing each other. Jacob sprinted ahead of her, which was strange because he always let her win, and she had to struggle to keep up with him. He was so far ahead she couldn't see him anymore. Where was he? She ran and ran, blindly trying to find his scent and not smelling anything. She finally came to a clearing and he was standing in the middle looking at her, panting. She leaped forward and with a snarl ripped open his skin and began to drink the warm blood there.
Nessie opened her eyes with a jolt and sat straight up in her bed. Sweat stood out in beads on her forehead. What had she just done? It was only a dream, but still…Jacob. Her mouth felt dry and clammy, her throat burned with thirst. She could smell blood, fresh and full of life and energy. Her mouth began to water. The scent was coming from Sarah. She could sense the heat coming from Sarah's neck, right where the jugular vein was, so close to the skin. She could give her a small bite and the blood would trickle down her throat.
Nessie held her breath and ran out of the room, down the hall to the bathroom. She turned on the water and cupped her hands under it and drank it down. She did it again and again, taking in as much as her body would hold. Then she took another handful and rubbed it on her face. She took several deep breaths. At least she couldn't smell the blood of the other girls in here.
She realized this sort of thing was happening entirely too often. The dreams about Jacob always turned to dreams about blood and then she could smell the blood so strong from all the people around her, especially Sarah. And she would have to hide in the bathroom and drink water until it passed. It had gotten so much worse in the month since Sarah and Skylar and Tammy had stopped speaking to her. Not being around them, sitting next to them during meals, studying with them, somehow it was making the blood smell so much more tempting.
She wasn't sure what to do anymore. On the one hand, this was what Jasper lived through every day. He lived with thirst all the time and everyone said it was getting easier for him. Maybe it would get easier for her too. And if I'm going to be around humans, I have to get used to it too, she thought. And, really, she hadn't done anything. She hadn't laid a finger on Sarah. Maybe this was just a rough patch that would pass. She hoped.
She thought about her backpack. Before she had left, Esme had sewn a wad of money into the lining. Nessie wasn't sure exactly how much money was there, but she thought it was close to $3000. It would be very simple for her to go to the train station, catch a train back to Forks and be in La Push in a few hours. Of course, she would have to wait until morning; there were no trains this time of night. Or she could just call Jacob and he would come get her. But either way she would have to admit to Jacob that she couldn't handle this, and she wasn't ready to do that. She didn't want Jacob to think of her as weak. She didn't want to have to rely on him for everything in her life.
She stayed in the bathroom for almost a half hour, until her heart stopped racing. When she went back into her room, she was much calmer and no longer felt like she was going to hurt Sarah. She still hadn't decided what to do: stay or go. Maybe she should call her father and try to get some advice. She had been emailing her parents regularly but all she ever told them was how great everything was and how many awesome friends she had. She never told them about the fact that she ate food she didn't want by herself at a table and went to class and then spent the rest of the time in the library reading and studying by herself. That conversation was going to be unpleasant, to say the least. She felt exhausted. She would figure all this out in the morning. Nessie climbed into bed and went to sleep.