Thank you for the responses and all that jazz :)

Chapter 10

I wait behind as the crowd files out.

"Well... That was intense." Chris laughs.

"Intense is definitely the word." Will smirks. "I can't believe you actually did all that Tris, it's pretty amazing."

I give him a grin as I shake my head. "I'm still so so sorry Will."

"How about as a sign that you're truly sorry ,you stop apologizing." He laughs.

"Deal." I say with a wink. Tobias stands beside me his fingers laced in mine and I feel a smile across my face, happy to know we're once again normal dauntless.

"Oh my god, Oh my god. Move. Dude seriously, hey." I hear someone scream over the noisy crowd. When suddenly out of no where Uriahs head pops out. "Trissy!" He screeches running towards me. I meet him in the middle folding my arms around him as he lifts me into the air.

"I leave you alone for five minutes!" He nags. "And you go heroing all over the damn place." I give him a loud laugh as he puts me back to solid earth. "And do you even write? Of course not. I had no clue what happened to you, I thought you were dead!"

"Sorry mum." I snort. "Hey you could have written me a letter!"

"Oh yeah to where?"

"I feel like that has absolutely nothing to do with it."

"You would." He eye rolls. And I try to work out if I should be offended. We walk back to the group with a smile. "Hey guys wanna play a game of lets find Tris a shower?" I ask with fake excitement.

"You need clothes first." Chris states with an eye roll. "Me and Will will find the clothes while Uriah finds the closest shower. You guys wait here." We nod in response as the three of them scurry off.

"It's good to have them back." I smile as I take a seat, Tobias sitting besides me.

"Are you Okay?" I ask, knowing how important the information he gave was.

"You should have told me." He states. "About Will."

I give him a shrug. "It wasn't important."

He scowls at me. "I'm fairly sure shooting one of your best friends is pretty important Tris."

"I was prioritizing." I say. "You know waiting for a moment to catch my breath."

"Still." He says. "We could have discussed it in amity Tris, did you actually plan on telling me?"

I shake my head a sad smile on my lips. "What do you want from me Tobias? To tell you I'm falling apart? So you can be the hero and pick up the pieces?"

"No." He grits his teeth. "I just want you to be honest with me. To trust me."

I let out a frustrated sigh. "I have told you things. Things I've kept secret my whole life. Why isn't that enough for you?"

He turns my face towards him cupping my cheeks with his hands.

"It is enough." He says gently. "It's just..."

"No." I state. "There is no 'just'. I'm allowed to keep things to myself. That's the way it works."

"Tris." He groans. "I just want us to be able to talk about this sort of thing."

"No." I say. "You don't." I swat his hands away from my face as I stand. "If you wanted that we'd have already talked. You didn't know about Will till today? Well I didn't know what happened when you were in the simulation."

"That's different."

"No it's not." I huff. "This is how we work Tobias. We don't talk about these things. Because talking makes them real and these things will tear us apart." I cover my face with my hands. "And right now we can't afford to fall apart. If we get knocked down we have to dust ourselves off and get back up."

Tobias pulls my hands away his head shaking. "That's not healthy."

"War's not healthy." I reply. "We all have to make sacrifices."

Right then Uriah, Chris and Will walk through the door and I leave Tobias as they direct me to my shower. Where I try to wash away all of the memories, so I can once again stay standing.

...

"I feel like you're moping." Chris says as she helps me clean my bunk with fresh sheets. She picked me up from my shower and took me to the dorm, claiming I'd get lost otherwise. And then with as much manners of any Candor told the girl who slept in the bunk beside her to get lost and make room for the Tris Prior. The girl and her friend beside her scuttled off with their belongings before I could even try to apologies.

"I'm fine." I shrug. "Actually considering we're all still in one piece I'm pretty dandy."

She rolls her eyes. "Is that why you left lover boy alone?"

"Shockingly I think he might be big enough to protect himself with out me there."

"I don't know." She smirks. "Who's going to be there to get him in more trouble?"

I bat her in the arm causing us both to laugh. Flopping onto the now dressed bed.

"So talking about number boy..." She says wiggling her eyebrows.

I give her a look. "Can we talk about it tomorrow?" I ask as I turn to stare longingly at the bed.

Her eyes widen. "Oh of course! You must be tired, I mean after everything you've been thr-"

"Yeah." I cut her off. Giving her a large hug. "Thanks for everything Chris."

"No. Thank you." She says leaning her chin on my head. "I'm glad you're alive Tris."

"You and me both." I wink as we break apart.

She walks off with a smile allowing me to get some much needed sleep. I curl into the bed, the loud chatter of the dauntless rocking me asleep. My own personal lullaby. I feel the covers shuffle around during the early hours of the morning, instinctively I have my hand under the pillow grasping the gun and I pull it out aiming at the noises direction.

"Tris, it's me."

"Tobias?" I murmur bleary eyed. As my eyes adjust I see his silhouette and I slide the gun back in place. "Sorry." I mumble. "Force of habit."

He nods as he slides into the bed. I feel a taunting smile play at my lips. "I'm fairly sure that." I point to the bunk next to us. "Is your bed."

He takes no notice laying so his face is mere centimeters from mine.

"I was thinking." He pauses to slide a piece of hair behind my ear. "About what you said."

"And?" I whisper. Linking my eyes with his.

"And you're right. We do need to make sacrifices." He says. "But I will not sacrifice you."

A silly grin takes over my face. "Can you repeat that?"

He leans in closer so our lips almost touch, but not quite. "I will never sacrifice you Tris."

"No not that." I smirk. "The first part, you know where I was right."

He shakes his head in exasperation, but I see the smile on his face, just before he kisses me.

And we stay like that falling asleep in each others arms. Shielding each other from harm through the night. Because though the truth serum took away our defenses, we both had one left. Each other.