Please see Ch 1 for disclaimers and warnings…

Jane blinked her eyes. Her neck was killing her. She went to move and realized there was a heavy weight pinning her shoulder. A flash of panic shot through her at the same time the familiar spice of Maura's perfume registered. She was okay.

Letting her nerves settle for a moment, she glanced around, spotting the empty wine glasses on the table and the containers of Christmas decorations on the floor. Tonight had knocked her on her ass. She hadn't meant to say anything.

Part of Jane knew she and Maura couldn't continue this odd avoidance of the real issue. Jack changed things and Jane couldn't escape him. He always seemed to be lurking at the edge. When she was with Maura, Jane couldn't avoid hearing about him. When she wasn't with Maura she had to face the fact that Maura was usually with him.

Maura shifted and Jane blinked her eyes, glad that Maura was asleep and grateful that the dark hid her from herself. Jealousy was not something that was easy to accept and she was rapidly realizing Maura was not something she wanted to share.

And then those words earlier. "He would like me to meet his parents." Maura's eyes were so shiny and Jane could see the wonder on her face. One thought had flashed red-hot through her mind: Jack's family couldn't have Maura too. After that it was a little bit of a blur. She'd kept it together until she'd stormed upstairs and paused at the door to the attic steps, trying to understand why she was so angry.

The more she'd thought about it the more her skin had crawled until her fist slammed into the doorframe. The pain had radiated up her arm and she yelped, cradling her hand against her chest, surprised she had reacted like that.

She had tried to get it together, forcing herself to sit on one of the bins of Christmas decorations until she'd felt like she had herself back in check. Jane had reminded herself that Maura deserved to have a life outside their friendship and a husband who loved her. Jack was doing all the right things and taking all the right steps. Maura needed her support.

Arms loaded with the heavy containers, Jane had started down the stairs when it hit her that if Jack was The One, then next year he would probably be the one doing this with Maura. Maura wouldn't need her to haul her shit downstairs anymore and climb the ladders to stick up garland.

In the hallway by Maura's bedroom she'd leaned against the doorframe. The bed caught her attention. Next year Jack's stuff would probably be in there. Or maybe Maura would move in with him. Her heart started to thump. Maybe one day soon finding a night to hang out together at Maura's would be a rare treat.

Jack wanted Maura to meet his parents. Jack wanted Maura by his side at his daughter's performance in church.

Jack wanted Maura and he was not going away.

By the time Jane had navigated the last flight of stairs she was slowly coming to the conclusion that Maura joining the softball team in the spring was the least of her worries. Her entire role in Maura's life was going to change. By the time she had spotted Maura, arms buried in her decorations, Jane imagined Jack right where she was now and her stomach rolled.

It all came out in a burst of frustration and she'd been so ready to fight, when all of a sudden Maura was looking at her with these big, wounded eyes and Jane's breath had caught.

All she could think about was how Maura must have felt when Casey had proposed and back then she hadn't even imagined it had any impact on Maura. Instead she'd babbled on and on, debating her future without thinking about the impact of her decision. She hadn't stopped until Maura's eyes welled over and she had run from the lab.

Tonight she understood deep down in her gut exactly how Maura had been feeling. It was fucking horrible.

All she had wanted to do was apologize but that would mean a conversation she couldn't have. It would mean telling Maura exactly why she realized what Casey had meant to Maura.

It seemed safer to ramble on about Verna, broken angels, and Christmas wishes, than it did to put a voice to any other thought she'd been having lately.

Maura had remained quiet, fingers randomly stroking patterns against her skin and Jane let out a sigh. "And then you had brought me that gingerbread coffee this morning and do you remember what I said about it?"

Maura had taken a moment to respond. "After your first sip you said it was perfect."

"See? Do you see why I'm feeling nuts right now?" Jane had poked Maura's thigh for emphasis. "It was the perfect cup of coffee! Just like my wish. I'm losing it, Maura."

Maura had pushed their fingers together and squeezed her hand. "No, you're not. It's perfectly natural to have vivid dreams if you consider the pressure you've put yourself under with the case. Plus you had just found Verna in a risky situation. "

Jane had stared at the way Maura's hand looked, holding on to hers. She'd been hyperaware of the strange sensation where her skin came in contact with Maura's. "Maura?"

She hadn't known if Maura's hum counted as answer or not, but she continued. "What would you wish for next if somebody showed up and told you they were giving you three wishes for Christmas?"

Maura's voice had been soft and contemplative. "I think I would wish for some insight or clarity on if I've met that one person that I can build a life with. Something irrefutable and tangible that will let me know that they truly want me in their life."

Instantly, Jane had felt horrible for feeling jealous of Jack. For every assholish thought she'd had for the last few months about Jack's ears and Jack's voice. Maura deserved that sort of peace in her life. She promised silently to behave better. She was even going to try to think only good thoughts about Jack. "That's better than a perfect cup of coffee I guess. But not by much."

Maura had laughed and squeezed her hand tightly. "How about you? What's your second wish?"

The answer had been shockingly easy and Jane sucked in a shaky breath and lied. "I don't know. I need to think about it." She'd struggled upright and stared out the window, watching the snow swirl in the scant light glowing through the glass. "I'm hungry."

Maura had looked at her like she didn't buy a word she'd just said, but how could Jane say she hoped that Jack would screw up, have some weird syndrome or some hidden past that would make Maura kick his ass to the curb? She was a horrible person and a shitty friend. She couldn't even keep her own promise for five minutes.

Desperate to deflect as random fragments of her dream were still bouncing through her head, Jane blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "Is Marmite edible?"

Maura had released her hand and stared at her. "Marmite? I don't think I follow?"

Jane grimaced slightly. Maura was looking at her like she was in the middle of a seizure. "I don't know. Marmite was in my dream." She shrugged. "You bought me some once but I was afraid to try it after you told me what it was. It was too different I guess. Now I'm curious." She put on her best smile. "So, have any Marmite kicking around?"

It took Maura a minute to respond and Jane hadn't blamed her. "I don't believe I have any. If I do, it would be in the third cabinet with the regional specific foods. However, there might be some fruit in the refrigerator. Perhaps some crackers and cheese to go with it?"

Jane had jumped up and gently pushed Maura back down when she went to rise. "I'm on it. Stay there; let me wait on you for once. Do you want a drink?"

Maura's eyes had narrowed and Jane could see she was trying to figure out exactly what she was missing from the conversation. "Yes, I opened a bottle earlier and set it on the counter to breathe, but I had some of your beer instead."

Jane had rummaged through Maura's kitchen putting everything on a tray. She had to get her shit together. Friends managed to stay friends after they found husbands all the time. She had to stop wishing that Jack would get hit by a bus… Jane shook her head, trying to clear the pleasing image of Jack getting knocked out of his shoes by the MBTA. It was wrong, wrong, wrong.

Out of curiosity she had opened the third cabinet and searched through, seeing a familiar jar and grabbing it. Unlike hers, Maura's was opened and made of glass. She carried everything over. "You know, usually I think most of the kitchen stuff you have is frivolous, but I like the serving tray." She placed it down on the table. "One trip! And you had Marmite. Only yours is in a pretty glass jar."

"I used to keep it on hand all the time in case my father came by. He enjoys it on toast in the morning." Maura had picked up a glass of wine and sipped it. "I picked out the plastic on purpose so you wouldn't have to worry about dropping it."

"You know, I should be offended you think I need the kid-safe version." Jane grabbed the Marmite and turned the jar over, read the label, and opened the cover up to sniff at it. "Interesting." She snatched a cracker and a knife and went to slather Marmite on it when hand shot out and stopped her.

"Scrape about 9/10ths of that off." Maura had released her hand and before Jane could do it herself, had fixed the cracker. "Now try it."

She popped it into her mouth and two seconds later, "Oh My God what is that? That's not a food!" She was gulping down her wine, shaking her finger at a hysterical Maura. "WHY didn't you warn me! It's DIRT! Salty DIRT." Jane grabbed a napkin and scrubbed her tongue with it. "People do NOT eat this."

It had taken Maura a full minute to stop laughing before she was able to select a cracker and lightly spread it with Marmite. She topped it with a slice of gouda before taking a bite. "People do, in fact, eat this. People are actually quite passionate about it. I find it a lovely compliment to many different foods."

"Nobody needs to eat this." Jane picked up the jar and the lid and carefully screwed them back together. She put the Marmite back on the tray and patted the top. "There. Now we're never going to speak about this again."

"I'll agree on one condition." Now Jane had known she shouldn't have agreed until she asked what condition Maura was placing on her eternal silence. Maura had selected a grape and turned it over, inspecting the globe. "You need to tell me what you are going to wish for wish number two."

"If I tell you, it won't come true." Maura hadn't budged, she'd waited quietly, carefully selecting and inspecting each grape before she ate it.

Frustrated, Jane had drained the last of her wine and flopped back on the couch, arms crossed. "Fine. For my second wish, I'd wish not to go stag to Friday's holiday party at good ol' BPD and to completely avoid every mistletoe trap those misogynistic assholes try to hide this year so I can avoid kissing Martinez. The jerk always used to make it a mission to trick me into one of those."

Maura had laughed. "You do realize most women would take Raphael's interest as a compliment, yes?"

"Most is stretching it. Airheaded idiots perhaps, and even that's a reach." Jane frowned at her empty glass. "I need more. You want a top off?"

"He's very handsome."

Jane glared over her shoulder at Maura. "He's also a prick."

"You're attracted to him." The words were succinct and very sharp. Jane didn't turn around but she did grab the opened bottle of wine from the counter and another out of the fridge before heading back to the couch.

"No, I'm attracted to the fact he's good for an orgasm. Problem is that means I have to talk to him or at least acknowledge that he's breathing. Not even getting laid is worth that." Jane topped off Maura's glass before filling her own. "Why? Think I should sleep with him?"

"No." When Maura hadn't added anything Jane had turned to look at her.

"No? Why no?" Jane braced herself for a complete rundown of every possible reason but when Maura didn't add anything Jane had shifted until she faced her. "I thought sex cured everything. Isn't that why you're all aglow recently?"

"I never said it cured everything. Sometimes it causes more problems than it helps." Maura hadn't offered anything else, choosing instead to keep her glass practically attached to her lips.

"Since when?" Jane had wrinkled her nose at the dryness of the wine and wondered if the alcohol was worth it.

"I haven't changed my views on recreational sex between two consenting adults." Maura's sigh had been long and weary. "But I think the past few years have taught me that there are consequences to every action that can reach beyond the event itself. Perhaps in my aberrance in general, I neglected to consider the emotional consequences that sexual intimacy can bring into the equation."

Jane hadn't known what exactly to make of that and it must have shown on her face because Maura had swirled the wine in her glass briefly before taking another sip. "Your relationship with Casey for example. The existence of it was linked directly to sexual gratification or lack thereof. Even after the relationship ended there were emotional ramifications."

It had taken Jane a moment to sort the words and put the message in context. Her miscarriage. She drank deeply, the bitter wine now welcome. It was a topic they touched on and brushed past. One that she knew they should probably discuss.

Instead she had dismissed it. "So says the woman getting off on a regular basis."

Maura had given her a look but changed the topic.

It hadn't been much later that the wine and late snack had them both yawning and discussing heading upstairs to bed. But neither one had moved and the conversation had slowly become nonsensical until Jane had let herself close her eyes briefly.

Now she was awake with a stiff neck, but it was cozy under the throw blanket with Maura. Tomorrow it was going to be back to reality. Back to trying to schedule in a quick dinner. She sighed as Maura turned and slipped off her shoulder, startling herself awake.

Yawning Maura had sat up and stretched before slumping against Jane again. "We should probably go to bed."

"Yeah, probably." Neither moved. The night had gone too quickly.

Finally Jane shifted away and forced herself to stand up, leaving the warmth and he comfort behind. She hauled Maura up to her feet and then followed her up the stairs, a hand against the dip in her lower back. At the doorway to the master bedroom they both stopped.

Maura was looking at her, sleepy eyes locking her in place. "I'm glad you came over tonight." As she watched, Maura seemed to be struggling for a moment and Jane realized a nervous bubble of anticipation was in her chest. "I think perhaps, that we've been so busy that it's easy to forget that the people you count on the most might need to know that you appreciate them. You know I love you right? Jack can never take your place."

Jane felt a flutter in her chest. "Yeah, I know." She shifted under Maura's gaze. "Rizzoli and Isles, right?" A sudden compulsion to kiss Maura's forehead made her fist her hands tightly and step back. "And I'm glad that you held me to my end of our bet. I needed this." She continued backing up and Maura was looking at her quizzically, waiting. "So, I'll see you in the morning."

She hurried to the next door, refusing to look back, barely breathing until she shut the guestroom door. "What the fuck?"

She stared at the wall separating the guest bedroom from Maura's and tried to settle the familiar tingle along her nerves. What the hell was going on with her? Maura wasn't Casey, or even Martinez.

Jane stumbled into the guest bathroom and finished her evening routine before crawling into bed. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling and wondered if Maura was already asleep. Jane tossed an arm over her eyes. She needed to stop thinking about Maura and get some rest.

She closed her eyes and tried running through the facts of the case. Dead mother, child, and fiancé. Mother was a recovering addict and the fiancé had nearly 40k worth of blow in his glove compartment. She knew from meeting the fiancé's parents today that Gianni had been in and out of rehabs as a teenager into his early 20's. But he had been sober for 16 years according to the parents. Jane knew from his bank records that he had been a successful electrician, but no massive deposits. Neither parent had known how nor where he had met Susan Taber, and they had no idea their son was even engaged.

Breathing deeply Jane closed her eyes, trying to banish the open eyes of the little girl staring lifelessly at the crime scene.

Rolling on her stomach and tucking her head against her arm, she bit her lower lip hard and tried to count the tick of her pulse at the point of pain. She could box this up. She could. Jane kept counting, 10 turning into 40, turning into 140, her own voice a metronome.

She didn't know how long she'd been lying there trying to forget the way the cold air had started to freeze the little girls curls to pavement with her blood. How the tiny hand had been unfurled towards her mother's arm as if trying to get back that connection that had been permanently severed. But slowly the sharp smell of damp earth and pine from earlier in the day invaded her senses.

Jane burrowed into her elbow. It felt so real. She could almost feel the ice cold dampness curling in the air from the pending snowstorm.

She went to bunch the sheets in her hand and her eyes flew open as she stared at her fingers in the limited light. Damp earth and long dead pine needles crunched against her palm. Jane froze as her pulse ratcheted. Where was she? Training kicked in and she tried to keep the panic at bay, discretely testing arms and legs.

She was at least unbound. Carefully she listened. Wherever she was, it was silent except for the bitter winter wind stealing her breath. Jane darted her eyes around and saw no other signs of human life. Carefully she sat up, forcing herself to move slowly instead of jumping to her feet and running away.

Jane was alone, pine trees loomed overhead. The moon filtered through the canopy and she shivered violently as she got to her feet. The dull glow on the forest floor illuminated a worn path and Jane found herself taking mincing steps over hidden rocks and sharp bits of dead foliage until she was at the edge of the trail.

She hugged herself, rubbing the goose bumps on her arm. Who had done this? She whipped her head to the right and the left. The path disappeared into the murky dark trees no matter which way she looked. Neither direction offered any indication that safety was in one direction or the other.

Jane lifted one foot off the icy ground, squeezed herself tightly. Her foot rapidly throbbed from the chill and she switched to the other. Staying in control of her emotions was becoming harder and harder. . Branches snapping behind her made terror blaze through her restraint. She spun in circles as branches cracked to the right and the left; the ground vibrated and she stopped thinking, terrified.

In a blast of motion a group of deer crashed through the brush and flowed around her, bounding over the ground and dashed towards the left. Unable to think, Jane sprinted after the one sign of life, feeling each ice cold rock that punished the soles of her feet.

Through the dark she plowed on, desperate, finally seeing the soft glow of electricity shining through the dark. There must be a road up ahead. She ran faster, running on emotion, as her feet finally touched pavement. Gasping for breath Jane leaned over, bracing herself against her knees.

There was a squeal of tires and a crunching thud and Jane whipped her head up. She could see taillights from a car disappearing out of sight. Under a streetlight there was a dark lump in the middle of the road.

Exhausted, she hobbled her way over as quick as she could. The shape took a form and the deer lifted its head as she approached, mouth open, panting. Its head crashed back to the pavement as Jane crouched beside it. The deer's sides heaved violently once, twice, a beat and then a third gasp before it was still, dark liquid eyes staring.

A familiar voice tutted over her shoulder and Jane landed on her ass as she tried to spin around. "Verna!?"

Verna didn't acknowledge her, a spotted hand, chapped with the cold reached down to cover the dead deer's eye, voice muttering softly "Sorry, so sorry. Troll with the devil's hand, shatters the innocent life. Always gone, gone. But to take this life is to leave the answer."

She pointed at Jane as she shivered on the ground, staring in disbelief. "You! You need to listen. You need to look!" Verna leapt to the deer, swept her arm along the carcass. "DO YOU SEE NOW?"

"What in the hell are you talking about Verna? You think I killed a damn deer? Seriously? What did I do, shove it in front of a car?" Jane was shaking from the adrenaline coursing through her. She pulled up her legs and rested her forehead on her knees. Her nose dripped onto her sweats. "What do you want Verna?"

Verna flew into a rage, her hands clutched Jane's shoulders and shook her hard. "Look at me! Stand up!" Jane struggled to her her feet and Verna poked her in the chest, forcing her to step back. "Coffee! Mistletoe! Stupid girl! Waste of Christmas wishes. I told you only three!"

Verna stormed around the deer, purple boots staining with red. "Only one left! One last chance." She stopped and stared up at Jane, hands on her hips.

Jane threw her hands in the hair, her body was numb, her feet were swollen. "I didn't wish for a damn thing!"

Verna ignored her, her voice dropping again as she crouched down to stroke the deer's head. "So sorry, so sorry. She does not know, she does not see. Words not spoken cannot be heard." The craggy hand covered the deer's eye again. "So ruined is the life when the angels fall." Verna's eyes locked into Jane's. "But the truth can set you free."

Wrinkled skin folded around squinting eyes. Verna lifted her hand and the deer sprung up from the ground, wildly spinning, eyes rolling in fear before bounding into the night. "You wished, I heard you. One last chance."

Jane shot up in bed, the sheets tangled around her waist. She was sweating and her heart was racing. It was still dark outside the guestroom window. She stood up on shaky legs and went into the guest ensuite. She flipped on the light and leaned over the vanity, staring at herself in the mirror. She was pale and her hands were still trembling.

She turned on the shower and peeled off her damp clothes, letting the water sluice over her. The warmth drove the chill out and Jane felt the tension ebb. It only a dream. She wasn't lost in the woods. She was still at Maura's.

The heat chased the phantom chill out of her bones. Jane rubbed a handful of body wash over her skin, the flowery scent making the echo of dirt and blood wash away. Maura had told her a billion times that dreams came from her subconscious. Obviously her gut knew there was something important hidden in the crap they'd collected for the case. And Verna. She needed to see Verna. Tomorrow she was going to to check on her. Maybe Maura would go with her at lunch.

Jane got out of the shower and toweled off. She wrapped herself up and turned off the light as she walked out and stopped. There was a shadowy figure busily remaking the bed. "Maura? Did I wake you up?"

"No, I was cold and when I went to turn up the heat I heard the water running. I came in to see if you were okay. I could tell you'd had a nightmare." Maura smoothed the duvet out before perching on the edge. "The sheets are fresh."

"I…" Jane turned around and rummaged through the bureau, sighing in relief when she found another set of her clothes from the summer when she was here more often. The cotton shorts were cold but better than nothing. She tried to find the right words to say. She finally settled on sitting next to Maura. "Ummm… thank you."

Maura nodded succinctly. "Are you okay?"

"Weird dreams. Really weird." Jane rubbed her hands along her thighs. "Probably that new beer."

"Are you certain?" Maura was studying her profile carefully and Jane swallowed harshly.

"Yeah. I'm good." Maura nodded one last time and seemed to let it go, standing up with the dirty sheets in her arms.

Jane froze into place when warm lips found her hairline and Maura murmured into damp curls. "Okay then, good night again."

Maura was almost through the door when Jane softly called her name. She stopped and looked back.

Jane couldn't chase Verna's parting words from her head. 'Words not spoken cannot be heard.' She cleared her throat. "I love you too, you know?"

Maura's smile made something effervescent float through her veins.

"I know."