Disclaimer: I still don't own Victorious.

A/N: So sorry for the long wait! I've been really busy! Things have been up and down and I thought I knew myself, but going through a bunch of these things is making me realize that I hardly know who I am. Well, I hope everyone's had a great Christmas and Happy New Year!

CHAPTER 10: Forever.

Thanksgiving break was over, and I had to got to stupid school today. Ugh! I felt as if I didn't understand anything anymore. I'd got to school, see Jade, and nothing would happen. We made eye contact occasionally and I'd feel a rush of electricity flow through my body, but that was it.

Life was boring and I began to wonder what life was really about. It's like all everyone cares about is love and getting the right person to love them. That's all I ever hear about. "Oh I like this person", "Oh I like that person", "That person likes me" blah, blah, blah. Does anyone care about other things anymore.

I laid in bed trying to drown my thoughts in music. Music. That's what's better than love! I smiled at my realization but then thought about how music can't be made without love and my smile faded. I hopped off my bed and went to my bookshelf to see if reading might clear my thoughts. I slid my finger across the book bindings as I read each title. My finger stopped when I read Holy Bible. God is definitely more important than love! I opened the bible to a random page and began to read. As I read more and more, all I kept seeing was the word love.

After thinking about why love is so important in the first place, I realized what time it was and my eyes began to get heavy. I closed them and turned of my lamp on my bedside table. It was so quiet in my room that I could hear my heart beating in my chest. As I listened to its rhythm, I finally thought of the reason the world revolves around love. Love is all everyone thinks about is because the heart is the strongest organ in the body.

Oh thank God! Only one more week until winter break. My days have consisted of going to school, seeing Jade at her locker in the morning, getting through the school day with Jade in a few of my classes, going home, eating, and sleeping. Although I saw Jade a lot, we still never made contact for the past few weeks. All my hard work that I had done to try to build a relationship with Jade was beginning to crumble, not that I had really built much.

When winter break came, I mainly just stared at her contact in my phone, tempted to text her. I couldn't though. If my obsession with her continued like this, I'd just be like a fan thinking I could date their celebrity. It'd be so hopeless. Also, my self-esteem kept lowering. I pondered about why I wasn't good enough for her. I heard her say that she liked me! Why did she just push me away?

Christmas had arrived and all I wanted was a "Merry Christmas" text from Jade. I never got it though. I felt as if I never got what I wanted. Then, I remembered all the bible reading I had done. "Thou shalt not want..."

Ugh! Who cares what the bible says?! I do. The Bible is all I had without love at the moment. Once you're in love, it's really hard to find another person to love. If you can move on easily, then it's not love. I understood where Jade was coming from now. It's not that she didn't like me. She just loved that boy, Beck. She may even love him forever. I sure know that I'll love her forever.

A/N: I know, I know. Short chapter. I apologize! This sums up this part of the story though. The next chapters will take place in the future. The next chapter shouldn't be as long of a wait as this one! So sorry it took me so long to write. XOXO

Also, I wanted to dedicate all of my love to someone very special. Someone I met exactly a year ago today. I started talking to her, here on fanfiction January 4, 2012. A lot has happened since then. We fell in love. Had the best relationship ever imaginable. Then, it crumbled. I will do whatever I can to build it all the way to the top again though. I am willing to work so hard for this. I love you with all my heart Zoe.