"Oh? Kurapika-kun? Long time no speak."

"Hisoka…"

"Since you've been avoiding me since you sent me the invite, I'm going to assume you're helping with the wedding arrangements?"

"I need a favor…"

"Do I get a favor in return?"

"N-no you don't…"

"Well that's no fun. I refuse."

The Kurta facepalmed, "F-fine, what do you want?"

"You to scream my name next time we meet at one of our places."

His face was red, he hated that damned magician, "I can't do that…"

"Then no deal."

"Alright…fine…"

"What's your favor?"

"I believe that Killua's family is going to try to kill Gon…"

"Well that would be terrible for both of us wouldn't it?"

"You're really strong so…"

"Are you pitting me against the Zoldyck family?"

"No just…protect Gon okay? They won't come after Killua, just Gon."

His voice was sing song-y, in the way that annoyed the Kurta the most, "Oookaaay…but I may have to up the price of my favor for such a request."

"I'm serious!"

"I know you are. I don't really care if they get married or not, but I'd certainly like them both alive."

"He's with Leorio…"

"Oh…I haven't seen him in a long time. I'd like to see how much he's grown too."

"You're creepy, you know that?"

"Bye bye!"

Kurapika hung up, putting his phone away before Killua came back over. His cheeks were bright red, yet his eyes were changing beneath his contacts to scarlet shades. That magician pissed him off to no end, yet somehow he was entangled in that madman's web in a different way than most. Even though he'd invited Hisoka, it wasn't as his date. It wasn't like he wanted to announce they'd been sleeping together.

Leorio hung up for the umpteenth time, "It's like you guys were meant to be. Everything's working out perfectly!"

Gon gave a hoot, "Awesome!"

"Yeah, I think just about everything is set up. But I feel like we're missing something…"

"Like what?"

"Not sure!" He shrugged.

Gon reached to his side, stopping Leorio in his tracks.

"Oh? You noticed me already? That was fast…"

Gon blinked, "What are you doing here?"

Leorio scowled, "Hisoka!?"

In a tux, the magician stepped out from an alley opening, confronting the two, "Why, I've been invited to your wedding of course."

Leorio frowned, "Who in the hell would invite you?"

"I won't tell."

Gon was curious, "Even so, why are you here?"

"My my…you've grown so much Gon-kun, Leorio-kun. It makes me want to fight you here and now…"

The men tensed.

"Don't get so nervous. It's a special day." He flipped a card out from beneath his sleeve, revealing it to be the ace of spades, "I've been asked to protect you actually."

Leorio was confused, "What? Protect us? From who?"

The magician grinned, "Come now, there's a reason that I'm here and not with Killua-kun."

Gon nodded, "So Killua's family is going to try to kill me after all…"

"Still! Who ordered the psycho as a bodyguard!?"

Hisoka waved the card, "If you must know, I'm here as a friend of a friend."

"Bullshit you are!" Leorio grabbed Gon, turning him around and lowering his voice to a whisper, "Do you even believe this guy?"

"I'm not sure, but it wouldn't be bad to have him on our side…"

"Oh Gon I see I see. Okay but seriously who would've invited him!?"

"I don't know but I'll take his word for it."

"Okay. Break!"

They turned around, sweatdropping at seeing the magician had built a stack of cards while they were conversing. He chuckled, "Okay then. Are you ready?"

They both gulped.

Hisoka grinned, "Do as you were…"

Leorio looked to Gon, "We have our suits, you have the rings, oh do you want a bachelor party!?"

Gon blinked, "No…not really…"

"Oh…damn! I still keep thinking we forgot something important."

"Oh!"

"Huh?"

"What about decorations for inside the reception hall?"

"Uh Gon…perhaps we'd better leave that to the more feminine side of the group."

"Oh okay!"

They continued walking, very much aware that Hisoka would be tagging along. As creepy as it would make their commute, it did mean it would be a safer one...sort of...

Hisoka just followed, continuing to grin. If everything happens as they plan it, it would mean so much more to try and kill them later. They'd have plenty of motive to stay alive after all. Oh…and this means Illumi-kun is my enemy for the time being. This ought to be interesting.

"KILLUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Kurapika and Killua looked to the slammed open doors in confusion.

It was Killua who noticed first. Of course she would notice that there was an octopus at the entrance. Looked like he'd had the dead body of a midget this time around. A midget with a toupee, goatee, and square shaped glasses...

Kurapika was both amused and confused, "What in the world!?"

"You invited me! But you didn't even ask me! The culinary squid genius and owner of the Squid Corner to help out!?"

Killua sweatdropped, "Oh...Ikalgo...I forgot you catered now..."

"FORGOT!?" The octopus raged, shaking his host human fist, "I am so hurt! Wait...a...minute..." He took a moment to just stare, "K-KILLUA!? WHY ARE YOU WEARING A WEDDING DRESS!?"

The Zoldyck shook her head, "I'm the bride of course..."

"Who are you marrying!? Gon!?"

"How did you know?"

"I...wait really!?"

"Yeah."

"Squid senses...but seriously!? You're marrying Gon!?"

"Ah Kurapika...this is my friend Ikalgo. Ikalgo, this is Kurapika."

The midget of a man walked right up, grabbing the Kurta's hand and shaking it, "How do you do ma'am!? Any friend of Killua's is a friend of mine!"

"Ah actually...I'm not a woman..."

Ikalgo froze, "NANI!? But you look gorgeous!"

Kurapika blinked, retracting his hand quickly, "Um...thanks?"

Killua knelt down, smiling, "Ikalgo, if you want to help us, you can help with the cooking."

The midget host body did a military like salute, "I am at your...SERVICE!?"

Killua blinked, realizing the octopus was clearly staring at her chest.

"What happened to you Killua!?"

"Oh that...I'm a woman now."

The octopus turned away, closing his eyes, "I am...", he shed tears, manly tears of friendship,"...so sorry for staring...at your nice rack..."

Kurapika chuckled.

Killua laughed, coming back to a stand, turning to the original caterer, "Hey, is it okay if my friend here helps?"

The man shrugged, "I can use extra hands."

Ikalgo rushed over, "I am..." he paused, "A culinary genius...capable of making any delicious dish the taste buds crave. Just tell me what I need to do!"

The caterer sweatdropped, "Uh...okay..."

Killua called over, "It's okay mister. You're in good hands. He actually is a good chef."

Kurapika just shook his head, "Ah..."

Killua whispered, "He actually used to be an assassin but he turned a new leaf shall we say."

"Oh?"

"Long story."

"I just want to know...why he wears an octopus on his head...like a hat...over his hair..."

"Oh...Ikalgo is the octopus...not the man."

"Huh?"

"The man is just a dead body."

Kurapika now had the overwhelming urge to wash his hands, "I...I see..."

"It's okay. He's cool though." She beamed at the Kurta, "He won't let us down!"

Kurapika heard his phone buzzing and decided now was the best time to answer it, no matter who it was, with the hand that didn't shake a corpse hand, "Hello?" after listening and nodding for a bit, he hung up, "Another one of Morel's contacts wants us to head to the reception hall."

Killua nodded, "Okay."

Kurapika offered his arm for Killua to take, "It would be awkward if I let you walk around in those heels any longer without helping."

Killua blushed clearly embarassed, "I'm getting used to them you know!"

The blonde laughed, "Yeah sure. Let's go. I think we'd better call a cab this time."

The transmuter complied, huffing.

A/N: I am having waaaaaaay too much fun making this...so much for this being a few chapters long!

And yes...yes...the HisoPika stays! It's totally crack, but it's staying. I don't actually ship them. Sorry Kurapika!

Killua isn't used to wearing heels. Even as a girl, she stuck with flats all the time, so this is truly her first time in them. And I'm sorry if Ikalgo seems ooc at all! And hey! A chimera ant has to merge into mainstream society somehow! Also, it's not a wedding for hunters unless peoples lives are on the line!

Next chapter: Answering the question...is Killua with child!?

About the previous chapter, I felt a bad about not rightfully posting that "chapter 3.5" Gon/Killua sexy time. So I posted it as a flashback chapter. All is forgiven? Unfortunately, they stay separated until the actual ceremony. So despite the pre-marriage butterflies in the stomach, they're going to be missing each other pretty soon. See what Illumi wants to break up!?

Read and review please? ;D