And thank you for your encouragement for last chapter, I really appreciate it! And also, theres a mention of High School Musical, and I am not on Lucas' side on it. Totally Brooke's, ive seen it about a millions times…
Oh and I keep forgetting to say, Rainey, what you keep begging to happen IS going to happen at the end, just don't be too disappointed if it changes before then.
Please review at the end, I love to know what you girlies think! I am so sorry if this disappoints, I really hope it doesn't. And wow, i'ts so long! Almost 5000 words, lol. Im proud.
Oh, and this is the dress that Lucas bought for Brooke - h t t p / w w w . d r e s s e s . c o m / o r d e r / 1 1 4 3 . h t m l
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Chapter 10 - Reflection
Now I see,
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Who is that girl I see,
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
Looking in her full length mirror, Brooke Davis saw a broken little girl who looked like she had lost everything. No, she assured herself, she wasn't. She was fine, and she had to make sure that everybody saw that.
More than anything, she wanted to show the real her to Lucas; but she couldn't do it. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't escape and stop hiding, show herself and let herself go.
However with that came the risk of being burned.
And so for that reason, Brooke wasn't going to be showing him anytime soon.
-
Lucas had never thought of the reason that Marcus was outside the house that night, why should he? He was just a guy from school and it wasn't any of his business. But Lucas did remember the fact that there was somebody outside who had rattled Brooke, who had turned her into the vulnerable person that she had not been since the club night where everything had started. When their relationship turned into something more than just sex.
Though Lucas suspected that the vulnerable part of Brooke had never actually gone; she was just well practiced in keeping it hidden. More than anything, Lucas wanted to break through her walls and the perfect mask she kept herself covered in. He wanted Brooke, not just the Brooke that she wanted to show. He loved her, and he needed to know how she felt about him. He wasn't expecting her to declare her love for him, he hadn't expected his own feelings and he didn't want to push her.
But he needed to know that she was going to try.
Yes, there were terrible things that had happened to her in her life, many of which he didn't know about, but she couldn't keep hiding behind them. Lucas knew all this because this was the same way as he felt before he found Brooke.
It may be cliché but it was true; Brooke Davis brought out the best in him.
A goofy smile came over his face as he straightened his tie in front of the mirror. He was taking Brooke out on a date that night. Well, it wasn't technically a date, because she didn't know about it yet. It was a surprise date. He knew how much she loved surprises.
He found it out just after they had made their relationship official. Brooke and him were laying on his bed and she suddenly brought it up.
"Broody, what are you going to get me for Christmas?" Lucas looked down at his girlfriend, wondering whether he had heard right.
"Brooke, it's only just turned March." She looked at him as though he was stupid and Lucas wondered if he had missed something.
"So? Boyfriend, seen as you are now my Boyfriend, and take note of the word Boyfriend, I am expecting you to get me a gorgeous present. And you should start thinking now, because as you know I am a very hard girl to please." He raised his eyebrows at her and smirked,
"And don't I know it Pretty Girl?" She smiled but then her smile fell and she turned serious once again.
"Come on tell me what you're going to be getting me!" He looked at her, like a rabbit caught in the headlights.
"Ugh, Brooke, you sprung this whole Christmas thing on me all of two minutes ago, how am I supposed to have thought up something in that time?" She looked at him, tears starting to spring to her eyes.
"You mean, you hadn't thought about it before now?" Lucas thought fast, a lie or the truth? What the hell should her do?
"I uh, thought about getting you… uh… a-" The tears magically disappeared from her face and she leaned back into Lucas' chest.
"Don't worry Broody, I was only kidding, about the tears part anyway. You really should be thinking about my present now. But don't tell me what it is, I love surprises."
That conversation had really floored Lucas, Christmas started in March in Brooke's world and that seemed completely crazy to Lucas.
Lucas took of his outfit, sure that Brooke would be impressed. It was only noon, but Lucas knew that he had to start planning early. He also knew that all the guys in the school would call him a pussy if they knew he had been trying on different outfits for the evening.
But Lucas didn't care, he wanted everything to be perfect for Brooke. She deserved it.
He took out his cell phone and dialled a number that he never thought he would ever call. A number that he only knew because the person it belonged to had called him once. And he had called back. Once.
Lucas pulled himself together as the phone started to ring and reminded himself that this was for Brooke. It was all for Brooke. The girl that had his heart.
"Hello?"
"Uh Peyton? This is Lucas. Lucas Roe."
"Well duh, there is only one Lucas at our school. At least that I know of. What do you want? Oh god, has something happened to Brooke? Tell me what it is or I'll beat it out of you." Lucas chuckled to himself, why had he ever wondered why Brooke and Peyton were best friends? The way that they talked, well babbled, and cared about each other - well, it said it all.
"There is nothing wrong with Brooke. I just need your help, that's all."
"Oh." There was a short pause. "Well, I'm kinda busy right now so-" Lucas smirked. How many times had he heard, and used, that phrase before.
"Well you can bring Nathan along too, but I'm not sure he'd want to come."
"Why? Where are you wanting to go?"
"Well, I have a surprise for Brooke planned for tonight, and I need some help choosing things." Peyton was puzzled on the other end of the line, why was he asking her?
"Um, okay. So Lucas, I'm not wanting to sound rude or anything here but - we have never liked each other. So why are you asking me and not say, Haley or Jake?"
"You know Brooke. And I want tonight to be perfect for her, she deserves it."
"Well… I guess I can come. Oh, Nathan's coming too." Lucas breathed out a sigh of relief, he didn't know what he would have done if she'd said no.
"Thanks, I mean it." Lucas hung up the phone, hearing a discussion going on between Peyton and Nathan. Lucas smirked, Nathan probably didn't want to go, instead wanting to stay in bed with his girlfriend.
-
Unsurprisingly however, half an hour later both Peyton and Nathan turned up at Luke's doorstep. Lucas led them both out of the door and into his car.
"Um, so, where are we going Lucas?" Peyton asked, wondering whether it was wise to step into a near stranger's car, even if she was with her boyfriend. And the stranger in question was her best friend's boyfriend.
"Uh, well, we need to buy a dress." Lucas heard Nathan snigger from the backseat.
"Dude, I'm not sure whether a dress would really suit you."
"Well, it looks like we are not getting any sense out of you today, so stay there." And with that, Peyton opened her door and moved into the front seat next to Lucas. "Okay, so I'm guessing that this dress is for Brooke," Nathan faked an 'oh', as if realisation had just hit him, "And that you haven't a clue what size she is, colour she likes or what kind she likes?"
"Pretty much."
"Well then, looks like you chose the right girl. And guy, if you count that thing in the back there. If we had a dollar for every time Brooke took us to the mall - well, let's just say I would not be living in Tree Hill or going to school, I'd be somewhere in Barbados." Lucas smirked, knowing full well that he was going to soon become the next victim of Brooke's shopping trips.
Lucas turned up the volume of his favourite CD of the moment. Brooke hated it, that was the main reason he kept it in his car, so that he could annoy her. To get him back, she put the High School Musical CD into the player in her car, and played it at full volume, with the top down. Yes, Brooke Davis did love High School Musical, and yes, Lucas Roe had been forced to watch it. Three times to be precise. He didn't even want to know how many times his girlfriend had seen it….
"Oh! My! God!" Both Lucas and Nathan turned to the direction of the scream, before Lucas realised that he was driving and turned his attention back to the road.
"Peyt? What's wrong?" Peyton squealed.
"Nothing's wrong Nathan. But this guy sat next to me has the best taste in music EVER!" Nathan groaned, and lay back in his seat, inserting his ipod earphones as he knew that the music they were going to talk about and listen to would be terrible.
"You like the Arctic Monkeys?" Lucas asked, shocked.
"Are you kidding? I LOVE them. Too bad my stupid ass of a boyfriend and hoe of a best friend don't realise their genius-ness. And oh god, this is totally my favourite song out of them all! It's kinda hard to hear what they're saying though, seen as they're from England and all. But did you know, those guys they're talking about on it are called 'chavs'. What an odd name. Don't look at me like that! I looked it up on the web. Now shhh and let's listen." Peyton leaned back into the seat and starte mouthing along to the lyrics.
Oh they might wear classic reeboks
Or knackered converse
Or trackie bottoms tucked in socks
But all of that's what the point is not
The point's that there ain't no romance around there
And there's the truth that they can't see
They'd probably like to throw a punch at me
And if you could only see them then you would agree
Agree that there ain't romance around there
You know, oh it's a funny thing you know
We'll tell 'em if you like, we'll tell 'em all tonight
They'll never listen
'Cause their minds are made up and course it's all OK to carry on that way…
"Thank god, we're here." Nathan muttered as he stepped out of the car, pressing the stop button, cutting out the voice of Dizzee Rascal from his latest song.
-
"So, how much do you want to spend?"
"However much. My parents can afford it." Peyton seemed satisfied with that answer and so headed off into the crowd, the two boys following on behind her. As soon as Peyton neared one of the shops, Nathan let out a little groan.
"Oh god. You do realise that that shop is Brooke's favourite, also known as the most expensive in the whole mall?" Lucas shook his head, being left behind as Nathan walked into the shop.
He couldn't say that everything wasn't awkward between the three of them, but they were all trying, and they could do nothing more than that.
Peyton shocked Lucas in the shop. He had never thought her to be a girly-girl, yet she took command completely as if she owned the place. She immediately kidnapped one of the assistants, declaring that she was exactly the same height and colouring as Brooke. She was nowhere near as beautiful as Brooke though, Lucas thought to himself.
Peyton sat down both Lucas and Nathan onto the sofa placed next to the changing rooms and went off with the girl, whose name turned out to be Amy, to choose dresses.
They returned, laden with heavy dresses in every colour shape imaginable. Nathan had already lost interest and was hungrily looking at the pictures in Cosmopolitan magazine; and, though he would never admit it, reading avidly the 'true life stories'.
"Okay so, here's the first dress." Amy walked out in a beautiful green floor length dress with a plunging neck-line and back. "Wow, you look so gorgeous! And I know Brooke would love it." Lucas cleared his throat and made himself heard,
"Uh, Peyton?" She turned to look at him, almost annoyed that he had interrupted. "We're only going to be staying at my house, so I'm not sure if the floor-length ball gown look is really the right look." Peyton looked quite shocked at this and walked into the changing room with Amy, only to come back out again a couple of minutes later, carrying a huge pile of floor length dresses.
"Well in that case, I'll just um, take these to the front then."
-
Two hours later and the shopping trip was finally over. Both Lucas and Nathan had become very subdued, both laden down with bags. Lucas was exhausted; he had never been on such a difficult shopping trip in his life.
"So Lucas, are we coming over to yours to help you get set up then?" Lucas was shocked at this question and looked in his mirror at the loved up couple in the back seat. He definitely hadn't expected her to say that. But he appreciated it.
"Well, okay, would you help me cook? Because I'm not that good, and we only have, what, three hours before I am going to surprise her." Peyton smiled.
"Perfect."
-
Nathan and Peyton had been put on cooking duties, and even Nathan admitted that he was enjoying himself, even though he had been made to peel the potatoes, possibly the worst job in the history of cooking. Apart from the job he had next; slicing the onions, as his eyes were very sensitive, and his girlfriend loved to make fun of him
"Hey Peyton, Nathan, can you come in here for a minute." They both sighed and headed towards where the voice was coming from. Entering the sitting room, Peyton's mouth dropped to the floor, and even Nathan looked impressed. He looked towards his girlfriend and saw she was choking up, something that never happened to Peyton Sawyer. He held her in his arms as a few tears dripped down her cheeks, which she consequently brushed off furiously.
The room was beautiful. He had moved all the sofas to the edges of the room and put the coffee table close to the fire. This was surrounded by cushions and to the side of these were rose petals. Yes, it was cheesy, but Peyton knew that Brooke would love this, and it may make her realise that this boy did in fact care for her best friend very much, and it may just make Brooke let him into her heart for real. Lined up along the mantelpiece were candles of all different shapes and sizes, and a single candle lay in the centre of the small table. Two places were set and it looked like it was going to be the perfect evening for both Brooke and Lucas.
"You really care for her, don't you bro?" Lucas nodded and looked back at what he had been working hard on for the past hour.
"Do you love her?" Peyton edged in. She didn't know, but every time Brooke's name was mentioned, a dreamy face appeared on Lucas' face and it just seemed so, perfect.
"Yeah, I do." The silence was cut off by Peyton's scream of happiness, which was then cut off by Nathan elbowing her in the ribs.
"I told you didn't I?" He smirked at her and she simply rolled her eyed in reply.
"Well come on lazy ass, this guy loved our B.Davis so we better get to work so everything is perfecto for tonight."
Lucas chuckled as the two went back into the kitchen, arguing; Nathan telling Peyton that she wasn't Italian, so why bother, and her insisting that she did have some Italian blood in her.
He was so grateful to the two of them, he wouldn't have been able to make all this happen without them. They had put everything aside for their best friend, and all three of them had benefited from the day.
-
Lucas was definitely nervous as he walked up to the red door. Peyton had assured him that Brooke would be in her room, watching old reruns of 'Golden Girls' in her room as she had called her just minutes before. Luke was satisfied at this as he looked up to her window and saw that the light was on. He guessed that she wasn't going to answer the door and so made his own way in to the silent house.
He felt for Brooke so much when it came to her parents; his parents had been away for a week, due back tomorrow, and though when they were there, most of the time he hated them; he had missed them. He didn't know what it would be like for his parents to never be home. But that was something Brooke Davis had to deal with every single day. And then she tried not to burden anyone else with her own problems, another of the many things he loved about her.
He made his way up the stairs, his footsteps echoing in the silence. Walking along the corridor, he was apprehensive. Peyton and Nathan had assured him that she would love the surprise, but there was always that little part that doubted everything he had done. Maybe she would think it was too over the top, maybe she'd hate it. Well, it was time to find out as he placed his hand onto the doorknob and turned it slowly, careful not to shock her as he entered.
Lucas looked over to the bed and his heart reached his throat as tears burned his eyelids. Lucas felt himself starting to fall apart, but in that instant he hid his heart in the stony casket he had before.
"What the fuck is this Brooke?" Two shocked faces looked up at him, one with a wide smirk on his face. The silence bounced off the walls, as Lucas tried to make sense of what he had just witnessed.
"Well, well, well, Lucas. You certainly seemed to have tried hard tonight. But Brooke prefers guys to have no clothes on, rather than the suit and tie look." Lucas glared at him, his feelings evident; he wanted this guy dead. The guy chuckled. "I thought it was good just to be fucking Lucas Roe's girl, but this, this is classic." Lucas only intensified his look, if that was possible.
"Tom. Just go, please." 'Tom' slowly picked up his clothes and threw Brooke's bra back onto the bed, where it stood out to Lucas as if it contained 1000 red LED lights. 'Tom' headed past him and smirked, so Lucas unleashed his anger and threw him out of the door, slamming it behind him.
"What the fuck is this Brooke?" Lucas once again repeated. His eyes were cold and all memories of the changed, lovable person he had become disappeared.
"Look, Luke-" He cut her across, his tone furious and ferocious.
"You know what Brooke? I don't care if you are going to apologise, I don't even care if you are going to try and deny it all. You said that we were going to be together, did that not mean anything to you?" She looked down at her bedspread, not wanting to meet his eyes which she knew would be so full of pain.
"Yes." She said quietly.
"You didn't hear this, but the other day, I told you I loved you and-"
"I know." Brooke murmured quietly. Lucas exploded.
"What? You fucking knew I loved you yet you go and do this? Have you done it before?" She stayed silent. "Oh god, you have haven't you. Oh god, Marcus. You'd just finished with him hadn't you? How could I have been so damn stupid? That was the reason you didn't come to Tric. You were screwing him. And there was no guy outside the window was there? Oh god, you bitch." Lucas couldn't help the salty tears that had started to roll down his face so he reacted in the only way possible. He turned to anger and smashed his fist into the wall next to him. He couldn't say that it didn't hurt, because the pain throbbing through his fist made him moan in pain, yet it took his mind off the pain he was feeling in his heart for a second.
"Yes Lucas, I have done it before. And you want to know the reason I did it?" Brooke's voice had turned spiteful. She couldn't help it, she knew she was in the wrong, but in her head she blamed him for turning her to what she did. But Lucas shook his head. "It was because you said you loved me."
Lucas turned his head slowly towards her, his eyes red and squinted, however this just seemed to multiply the pain and anger that escaped from them.
"What a surprise, Brooke fucking Davis running away. You, are a fucking slut. You know, my brother was right about you." Lucas' feelings about the past suddenly spilled out, he couldn't keep it in anymore. He was going to hurt her as much as she had hurt him; now, and before.
"What the hell? He was the one who had sex with me. I never wanted it." The tears had started to cascade down her cheeks and she was starting to sob as the words caught in her throat. But Lucas put this to the back of his mind. She would hurt as much as he did.
"Anthony was the guy you practically stalked throughout Junior High. You were the one who came into High School, looking, and acting, like a fucking slut. Don't tell me you were a virgin then, because I know it's not true. And then, you made him leave and-" Brooke's anger suddenly accelerated so she was in the same state as Lucas. She screamed her next words, which were hardly audible due to her hysterical crying.
"I did not! You bastard, don't you dare make this all out to be my fault." He chuckled menacingly, the sound meaning to taunt her. Which it did. He said the next sentence slowly, making sure they would get through to her, painfully; him trying to break apart the person he hated more than anyone in the world. Because she had made him feel, and then hurt him more than he ever thought possible.
"You had the abortion." He finished. Happy with her reaction, more tears, he carried on, getting louder, now not noticing the tears which were also streaming down his own face. "Do you not think my brother, the father, would want to have a say about that? Do you not think that I may have wanted a say in that? Oh but no, this is Brooke fucking Davis we're talking about here; not caring about anybody but herself; the slut; the whore; the girl who deserves nothing more than what she's got. Which is nothing."
Brooke looked up at him, and realised that he meant every word. Her heart was breaking with each word he said, but she knew he was right. She saw him turn away, and she thought he was about to leave, but instead he turned and headed towards her dresser, picking up the pair of scissors she had lain there. For one moment, she thought he would hurt her, but then she reminded herself, this was Lucas. She was the one who had messed everything up. She deserved it if he did hurt her.
Instead, he turned to a box which she had only just noticed which was laying on the floor, and opened it up, lifting out of it the most beautiful dress she had ever seen. But the red colour simply intensified all the pain that she was feeling.
"This. This was for you Brooke. And this, this is what I think about you right now." Lucas used the scissors to hack into the material, which was slowly falling away until there was a pile of scraps of red material lying on the floor.
"Goodbye Brooke Davis. I hope you're fucking happy with yourself." This time, he left, leaving her falling to pieces on her bed, crying more tears than she ever thought possible. Eventually, she gathered up the strength to stand, and she placed herself in front of the mirror, seeing herself properly for the first time. In the background, she noticed the dress, or what was left of it. Lucas had planned something for her, she didn't know what, but he had. He had done it for her. Whilst she was screwing countless other guys. The dress was like her; once beautiful, and now falling apart. She looked to the mirror again and saw her tear stained cheeks, lank hair and pained eyes. Lucas hurt her bad, but she could do without him. He was a bastard, he had never meant anything to her. That was why she had been with the other guys. He meant nothing. She slowly trudged over to her bed but was instantly drawn back to her original position. She knew she was wrong.
Looking in her full length mirror, Brooke Davis saw a broken little girl, looking like she had lost everything.
And then it occurred to her, maybe she just had.
-
Wow, well that ending was hard to write for me. I tried to put happy stuff at the start to take my mind off it. I hope youo enjoyed it though and that I did it justice. I don't know if you might think Luke overreacted, but I personally thought he would turn into the person he was before.
And I'm sorry for the language. Hope it didn't seem too over the top.
I had those last two lines written out ages ago, on the back of my exam timetable, and I've been keeping it ever since. So I hope that was good too.
Please review and tell me how it was, because I really want to know how I did, as there will be a lot of heartache in the next lot of chapters and I want to know that I am writing it well.
Thanks so much for reading
Hannah xxxx