Past and Future

"Captain, there's a small unmarked shuttle heading our way," Tuvok said to her one day.

"Hail them," Kathryn responded, standing and picking up Nasya.

"Captain, they have opened a channel."

"On screen."

"Hello Captain. Long time, no see." Kathryn gasped, the person on the screen was her, just several years old. She was hard and angular with her white/auburn hair tied in a tight bun at the nape of her neck.

"And you have little Nasya too," her older self continued, "I forgot how cute she was as an infant. They do grow up fast."

"Who are you? What do you want?" Kathryn said, finally finding her voice.

"I think you know exactly who I am. As for what I want, might we have a private conversation in our ready room to discuss that.

"Very well, you may beam aboard."

"Thank you captain. I'm looking forward to meeting you."

…

"So, you're saying that you come from the future, a timeline where it takes me 32 years to get my crew home." Kathryn and her older self were sitting in her ready room. Her older self had immediately scooped Nasya up and held her on her lap as they talked.

"That is correct."

"And in this timeline...I'm an admiral."

"As you see."

"And now you've come back in order to tell me to go back to the nebula we passed a few days ago because it's a quick way home."

"Still sharp as a tack I see," said her older self with a smirk.

"Very well then, we'll go back to this nebula. If it's a way home, I'm willing to take it."

"I'm glad you're listening to reason."

"By the way, what should I call you while you're here? I can't exactly going around calling you Kathryn."

"Admiral will do fine."

"Alright then, Admiral, thank you for your information."

"Don't mention it. I'm simply lending a hand to my younger, not as wise self."

"If you'll excuse me, I must be getting back to the bridge," said Kathryn standing up and holding out her arms for Nasya.

"Of course," said the admiral, "I was just wondering if I could keep Nasya with me...it's been so long since I held her as a baby."

Hesitating for several seconds Kathryn finally said, "Very well. Take good care of her."

"Oh, I already have."

As the door shut behind Kathryn, the admiral looked down at the little baby. "Well my dear, shall we go find your father."

…

Chakotay was sitting in the mess hall, enjoying his lunch break when he heard a familiar voice ask, "May I join you?"

Smiling he said, "of course, you never have to…" but then stopped as he got a good look at who was addressing him. It definitely looked like Kathryn, just older, more hard. And she was holding Nasya...

"Kathryn?" he asked, with some confusion.

"Not quite," she said smiling and taking a seat next to him. "I'm Kathryn from the future. 40 years into the future to be exact. You can just call me admiral"

"And you're here because…"

"I have a quick way home for you. I thought my younger self would like to know about it."

"Ah...I see…" Chakotay was surprised to see tears coming to the admirals eyes as she even started laughing a little.

"I'm sorry," she said, "It's just that...I've missed you so much." All of a sudden she leaned forward and kissed him.

She just smiled her little half smile, "I'm sorry about that. I couldn't help myself. But now, I promise it'll never happen again." Slightly stunned, Chakotay just stared as she got up and walked out of the room.

…

"Admiral, you weren't being entirely honest with me about this Nebula." It was a few days later and the two Kathryn's were meeting again in the ready room.

"Alright, so I didn't mention it was Borg infested," said the admiral with a shrug.

"You let me give false hope to my crew that they would be going home!"

"No, I didn't! Maybe you forget, Captain, but I come from the future. I brought advanced weapon's technology with me capable of keeping us safe long enough to get through the hub."

"And what about destroying the hub! If we don't, millions could die. We have a chance to cripple the Borg once and for all and we need to take it!"

"I thought you wanted your crew to get home" Both Kathryn's were standing now, glaring at each other, practically nose to nose.

"I do...but not at this cost. We'll find another way."

"Fine. There's something else you should know before you decide though," the Admiral turned to Janeway, all seriousness, "If you don't take this chance and go through the hub, people will die. People you love and care about."

"Like whom? I need more than just that if I'm not going to attack the Borg."

"B'Lana Paris for one...in two years you'll be attacked by the Kyrians and she'll be killed...along with her unborn child."

"Her...child...she'll be pregnant?" Kathryn said, her voice barely a whisper.

"Yes."

"Who else…" Kathryn asked, afraid of what the answer might be.

"Your husband."

Face turning deathly pale, Kathryn couldn't say a word...finally she was able to say one word, "how?

"The same attack by the Kyrians...he's hit with a falling support beam pushing you out of the way. You rush him to sickbay, but it's too late...he dies in your arms," tears come to the admirals eyes. "You're never the same again. You don't socialize with anyone, you never smile or laugh, and life becomes miserable. Nasya grows up never knowing her father and becomes severely depressed because of 's a lonely existence...but you can prevent it! Go through the hub and go home!"

...

"What do I do Chakotay? I can't loose you...I just can't!" she said to him the night, stroking his cheek.

"However…" he prompted.

"However, the Borg have destroyed millions. If we have a chance to seriously harm them, we need to take it."

"I agree," he said, pulling her close to him.

"But then you'll die!"

"To save millions, I would be happy to give my life. To save you, I wouldn't think about it one second." Sobbing, Kathryn buried her face in his chest as he stroked her hair. "Kathryn, I love you, so much! We may have to be parted for a time, but we'll be together again." Kissing her deeply and longingly they didn't break apart for several minutes.

"And B'Lana?" she asked, after several minutes of silence, "I can't just order her and her child to die."

"I know B'Lana and Tom. They'd sacrifice anything to do what's right and defeat the Borg. I can say the same for the rest of the crew as well. We're all in this together."

Kissing him again she said, "I don't know what I'm going to do without you."

Smiling he said, "Well, luckily we have two years before that happens."

"You may have more than that," said a voice by the door. "I'm sorry to interrupt," said the admiral walking in, "but I have an idea."

…

The plan was simple, the Admiral would be infected with a virus which would then be assimilated by the queen and destroy the hub. In the mean time, Voyager would travel through the hub as quickly as possible.

"It's suicide!" Kathryn said," I can't let you do this."

"If you go through the hub I'll just disappear anyway. My timeline will never have happened."

"But if we destroy it and go on our way nothing will change. You'll still be here."

"But Chakotay won't be…" said the Admiral, causing a twinge of pain in Kathryn's heart.

"He gave his life to save me. I'm willing to sacrifice myself to save him...and you. You die that day as well."

Staring at her older self for several seconds, Kathryn started to feel hope. There was determination in the Admiral's eyes...she would not fail.

"Alright, if you're sure. Let's do this," said Kathryn, her face matching the same determined expression on the admiral's.

…

Beaming onto the ship, the admiral pulled out her phaser and began looking around.

"Admiral," said a voice behind her, "how nice of you to join us. We've been expecting you."

And there she was: cold, cruel, hideous...the Borg queen.

"You've been expecting me?"

"Of course," she said, "ever since you entered into our quadrant we've been expecting you to pay us a visit."

"Well, here I am," said the admiral with a mock bow.

"Here you are. The question is, what do you want?"

"To destroy you and your drones"

"All by yourself? No, I don't think so."

"Oh really," said the admiral, setting her phaser to kill and firing. She managed to hit a few Borg before they adapted and came towards her. Before she knew it, she was overpowered. Gasping and falling to the floor as the probes were injected into her body, she began the assimilation process.

"Poor, defenseless admiral," cooed the Queen, "thought she could defeat me. How wrong you were."

"No I wasn't" the admiral gasped, from her hunched position on the floor.

All of a sudden sparks were flying, the queen and drones were screaming, and things began to shut down.

"Good luck Kathryn…" the admiral gasped right before the hub exploded.

…

At the same time Kathryn was on the bridge...waiting. When she heard the queen's voice over the Admiral's comlink she said, "Mr. Paris, engage... warp 9."

"Ay ay captain," said Tom, pushing buttons and steering the ship through the hub. About half way through sparks started flying and the hub behind them started exploding.

"Come on…" Kathryn breathed, "come on."

Grabbing onto Chakotay's hand, Kathryn kept staring out the view screen.

"We can do it, come on, just a little farther."

Voyager burst through the hub just as the final explosion erupted behind them.

Turning back Kathryn whispered, "Thank you...Kathryn...for giving me my life."