"Make a remark,' said the Red Queen; 'it's ridiculous to leave all the conversation to the pudding!" Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass

"Damnit!" Nathan cursed as he smashed his fist on a table nearby. People looked around at the commotion, but soon they lost interest for they only saw a surly young man staring at a closed door. The party resumed. "I've got to go after her." Nathan made a move to head out the door, but Brooke put a hand on his arm.

"Let her go. She needs to cool down and it's not going to help if you go and yell at her," Brooke reasoned.

"I'm not going to yell at her I'm just going to…"

"Nate, just stay. Try to relax a bit before you go home. This'll give her a chance to let it sink it," Brooke continued.

"She's known Jenna her whole life, she should know what a horrible person she is!" Nathan didn't seem to be calming down.

"Ok this is going to be hard, but I'm going to try to explain to you the inner workings of the female mind. Haley doesn't want to believe that Jenna is a bad person because that would imply that Haley was a bad person."

"What?!"

"They share the same DNA, to Haley that means that to some extent they are the same person. So that means she's not going to admit that Jenna tried to hit on you. Not to mention Haley's trying to stick it to me." Brooke smiled.

"Fine. Whatever. I won't go home for a while." But Nathan seemed unconvinced.

"That's all I ask." Nathan shook his head and then headed off in the direction of the kitchen, where the keg was. "That's not exactly the way I imagined him calming down," Brooke mumbled to Lucas.

"Like you're one to talk," Lucas responded. Brooke punched him in the arm playfully. He smiled and kissed her. "So Haley thinks she and Jenna are the same just because they're twins? Are all females that screwed up?"

"Not me." Brooke took a sip of her drink.

"Oh really?"

"Ok maybe just a little. But that's part of the reason you love me."

"Mmmhmm." Lucas put a hand on the small of her back, pulling her close. "You must be really screwed up for me to love you this much." He kissed her, stifling her giggle.

"Ahhh!" Nathan sighed contentedly an hour later as he set down his…well he lost count after five, beers of the night. A frat boy near him handed him another beer.

"Chug! Chug! Chug!" The boys began to chant to Nathan who continued to drink the almost constant supply of beers that were shoved in his hand.

"Nathan!" Nathan set his beer down and squinted. Everything was blurry, he thought he recognized the voice but his mind wasn't functioning correctly.

"Haley?" he asked.

"No man, it's your brother. Lucas." Suddenly he felt his arm being pulled on and he was taken from the seat.

"No, I want to stay. More beer," he slurred.

"If you drink anymore you're going to be dead." Lucas slung Nathan's arm around his own shoulders and began to half carry, half drag Nathan through the kitchen.

"Oh my gosh!" Brooke exclaimed when she saw him. She flitted over to the two brothers.

"Damnit he's heavy," Lucas groaned.

"Haley?" Nathan asked squinting to Brooke.

"No Nate, it's me Brooke. How much did he drink?" she directed at Lucas.

"A good bit I would say." Suddenly Lucas's phone rang. "Brooke can you get that." He pointed to his pants pocket.

"Ok, but normally I would ask for dinner before this." She reached into his pocket. "It's Haley," she read the caller ID.

"Don't answer that." Brooke pressed the 'Ignore' button. "Ok we've got to find a place for Nathan to hang out until his he's a little more conscious."

"Somehow, I don't think he should go home." Brooke waggled the phone at Lucas as it rang again, still reading 'Haley Cell'.

"Well I can't take him home with me. My mom might be just as dangerous as Haley if she figures out Nathan got drunk at a frat party."

"I would normally love to help Lucas, but Nathan and I aren't really that close and I don't really want to incur the wrath of Tutorgirl. She might throw books at me or something." Lucas pulled Nathan up again as he had begun to slip.

"Haley," Nathan mumbled again. "Why would she just leave like that? She didn't believe me." His word were slurred and almost incoherent.

"Well we better find a place for him soon, he's too heavy for me to sit here and hold." Lucas heaved Nathan up.

"Upstairs," Brooke suggested. Seeing no alternative, Lucas nodded. The two of them awkwardly dragged Nathan up the stairs and into one of the bedrooms, laying him on the bed, limbs sprawled everywhere. "Turn him on his side," Brooke instructed. "That way if he pukes it won't choke him." Lucas looked at her curiously as he followed her instructions. "I've had lots of experience with this kind of thing.

"Thanks," Nathan mumbled.

"You're welcome," Lucas said with a hint of sarcasm. Then he stood to face Brooke. "I hate to leave him like this but someone really needs to check on Haley."

"I'll go." She was almost out the door. "Shit!"

"What is it?"

"You drove me here."

"Damnit!" Lucas looked back at his brother, lying on his side and mumbling about Haley. A quick glance around the room revealed a trash can in the corner. Lucas moved it beside the bed in case Nathan needed it. "Let's go quickly. I'll drop you off and then come back here to check on him."

"Are you sure? I mean I can get someone else to drive me."

"Like who?"

"One of the frat boys. I'm sure I could persuade them."

"Let's go." Lucas put his hand on the small of her back and directed her out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Jenna watched the two of them leave. There went her ride. Haley had left earlier with her and Nathan's car. And now, peeking through the curtain, Jenna watched Brooke and Lucas drive off in Lucas's car. As she took another sip from her drink, Jenna realized that she hadn't seen Nathan leave. The last time she had seen him he was drinking in the kitchen, mumbling about Haley not believing him. Well if Haley wouldn't believe him about, Jenna assumed, Jenna hitting on him then why not throw caution to the wind. Jenna swigged a bit of her beer and then went to look for Nathan.

Nathan heard the door open. He looked up, squinting through the blurriness. He saw a girl enter and close the door behind her. "Haley?" he muttered again.

"Close," a voice laughed. Even with all the alcohol, Nathan knew who it was in the room with him.

"Jenna." He struggled to sit up. The padding of footsteps and then gentle hands were helping him sit and lean against the headboard. "Thanks," he muttered a bit reluctantly.

"So I guess my sissy poo left earlier. Was it something you said?" Jenna laughed. "You tried to tell her that I hit on you didn't you?"

"She…she needs to know." Nathan watched as Jenna walked across the room and sat on the other side of the bed.

"Yeah but she trusts me. So that means that you're going to take all the blame for whatever we do together." Nathan could smell the alcohol on her breath as she leaned into him, one hand on his chest. He tried to push her off but the alcohol rendered him pretty weak. "So if I do this," Jenna kissed Nathan's neck. "it's all on you."

"Don't," Nathan grumbled.

"And if I do this," Jenna kissed his jaw. "it's still you." "Stop this." "And you'll even get the blame if I do this." Jenna put her hands on both sides of Nathan's face and kissed him hard on the mouth. She tried to force his lips open with her tongue, but soon she pulled back when she heard the door open. The two on the bed looked to the door.

"Haley," Nathan whispered.

"Lucas called me to tell me about how much you were drinking, I came to see if you were all right. But I guess you are." Haley's voice was small and she sniffled. Suddenly she seemed to get angry. "You had my sister to look after you! I can't believe the two of you! How could you do this to me?"

"Well I'm a conniving bitch," Jenna responded. She seemed eerily calm.

"And what's your excuse?" Haley looked to Nathan. But Nathan couldn't respond. His tongue felt too big for his mouth and no matter how hard he tried, no response came to him. Haley scoffed. "Unbelievable. Fine Jenna you win! He's all yours. The two of you can have the apartment to yourselves. No pesky wife for you to deal with. I'm going to stay with Lucas. Don't be at the apartment for another couple of hours, give me enough time to get my things without having to see either of you!" With tears in her eyes, Haley turned and ran out the bedroom. No matter how many times Nathan opened his mouth to call after her, no sound came out.

"Well that was nice of her. The whole apartment to ourselves. Whatever will we do?" Jenna purred, touching Nathan's jaw. He shoved her aside and got unsteadily to his feet, rushing after Haley. Haley met Brooke and Lucas at the door.

"Hey Haley!" Brooke called. "We figured since you were coming here to get Nathan, we could help you with him. So we turned around, but we did stop to…" Brooke giggled as Lucas smiled. Then they noticed the tears.

"Hey what's up?" Lucas asked her.

"Nathan and Jenna," Haley said a bit hysterically. "Can I stay with you for a little while?"

"Of course, but what happened?" Lucas asked.

"Later. I have to go get my things." And with that she was gone.

Moments later, Nathan arrived at the door. Just in time to see Haley getting into her car. As she drove away, Nathan finally found his voice. "Haley," he said softly.