i'm sorry this is so short.

i'll update more later today.

love ya,

livi

I sat in the waiting room. Nick sat next to me. Kevin was talking to the doctor.

"Hey, Nick…" I started.

"Yeah, Dude?"

"What if Lilly dies?" Nick was silent. "What if Lilly dies as me, and I'm stuck as her forever?" I said on the verge of tears.

"Don't worry, Joe. Lilly is going to be fine. You'll see." He put a arm around me and comforted me, which would have been really awkward if I wasn't so upset.

"I'm serious, Nick. What would you guys do about the band? What would I do? About Lilly's family, and friends, and her baby… and everything… OH my godd…" By now I broke down and started crying. Nick was trying to make me stop, cooing me as best he could for the shy person he is with girls. I guessed the fact that I was really his brother helped with that.

"Joe… no. you'll be fine… don't worry. Its ok. Its ok." He said. I could see him awkwardly trying to comfort me, but it didn't work very well. I hugged him. He was ok with it.

Kevin came into the room.

"Doc says we can see him." Kevin said. I stood up as fast as possible and Kevin led me and Nick to Lilly's room. We entered to see my unconscious body hooked up to numerous tubes and machines. I burst into tears when I saw Lilly. I hugged Kevin.

"Oh my god… this is all my fault…" I said slumping into a empty chair.

"Its not your fault, Joe. Its not your fault." Kevin said.

"Stop saying that. It is my fault. I made Lilly do this. We could have pushed back the tour until we fixed this. This is my fault. Everything is! Its my fault Lilly's pregnant. Its my fault that she's like this. I'm such a screw up!" I cupped my head in my hands and sighed. I felt someone rub my back. I sighed. I sat up and looked at Lilly again. He looked dead. I felt terrible about everything. I stood up and went to Lilly's side. I took his hand and sighed. I looked to Nick and Kevin, and they nodded and left the room. I looked back to Lilly.

"I'm sorry. About everything I made you do. Bout everything I put you through. About making you do this… I'm such a jerk, and I wish I could be the one in this hospital bed, instead of you. I wish you would have at least been yourself."