Authors Note: I don't think this fanfiction could be any gayer. If you're still here, thanks. That's all.

For the rest of the evening Mycroft and Lestrade made it their goal to antagonize Sherlock and John. Mycroft spat clichés and insults, while Lestrade acted as a giggling wingman. Sherlock rolled his eyes at each stupid remark then retaliated, but John became rather defensive. At some point amid the squabbling, Anderson and Donovan had just walked out. One might believe that the rest of the guests were also interested in leaving, but Harry, Clara, Molly and Mrs. Hudson were actually entertained by the bickering brothers and their boyfriends. One might also wonder what exactly the brothers were saying. At some point Mycroft had said, "Looks like my dearest brother finally decided to come out! Congrats, really. I am much prouder than mother would have been. You know she would be displeased… I guess you're no longer my little virgin brother. Oh, how time flies. Was the sex great? Probably not, John's not exactly the type…"

John rushed to cover Charlotte's ears; he saw that sexual part coming. Sherlock paused then replied with, "Well, I suppose being gay runs in the family!"

Mycroft stuttered, "I'm not gay." Lestrade twitched.

"Oh really? Is that what you tell Lestrade every night?" Sherlock barked. John tried to calm him down, but still gripped Charlotte's head to cover her ears.

Mycroft remarked, "For your information brother, I'm bisexual and there's a difference!"

Charlotte tried to wriggle free of John's grip. She whined, "Daddy John let me go I wanna hear Uncle Mycroft and Daddy Sherlock talking!" He resisted her squirming, but eventually she broke free and ran to Molly's lap.

Mycroft continued rambling on about Sherlock's sexuality, but kept inappropriate terms to a minimum when he realized his niece was listening.

Charlotte looked up at Molly and asked, "Molly, Mycroft makes it seems like it's bad that my daddies love each other. Is it bad? Are the kids at school right is it bad for daddies to be gay?"

Molly smiled and remarked, "Oh it's fine Charlotte. Mycroft just wants to tease Sherlock. That's what big siblings are for."

Charlotte tilted her head in confusion and asked, "Well then why don't I have a big sister to mock me? Or a little sister for me to tease?"

Molly replied, "Well I think your daddies want to devote all their attention on you! If you had a sister, they would have to spend time with her too! Although… it's quite nice to have a sibling around."

Charlotte was beginning to understand, but she was still curious. She admitted, "Maybe if I had a sister, even a mean one, I wouldn't feel so lonely…"

Molly looked around, unsure of what the proper response was. Mycroft and Sherlock were still disputing, while Lestrade and John made an effort to keep them in line. The detective's brother made some remark about the rainbow streamers, Sherlock bit back in a defensive manner. The argument continued. Harry and Clara laughed and made ridiculous comments about the brothers' fight. Mrs. Hudson seemed content sipping her tea on the other side of the room.

Miss Hooper gathered her thoughts and said, "You shouldn't feel lonely Charlotte. There are lots of people who love you."

Charlotte shook her head and corrected, "But the kids at school don't want to talk to me."

Molly gave the little girl a hug and whispered, "It's alright Charlotte. You have all of us. We all love you."

Tears dripped down the girl's face. Sherlock heard her whimpers and fell silent in the middle of rebutting one of Mycroft's stupid jeers. The detective looked over at Molly, concerned he asked, "Molly… Why is my daughter in tears?"

Molly sighed, "She's lonely."

"Charlotte, it's alright," he grabbed the youngster and held her tightly in his arms for a brief moment. He set her down again, and then asked, "What makes you say that, love?"

The girl wiped her eyes and mumbled, "Oh nothing. I'm okay Daddy Sherlock. I don't know what made me so upset."

Things were awkward for a brief moment then Harriet broke the silence. Her voice was thunderous. She grumbled, "So what are you defining your relationship as? Just in case you know… I'd need to tell someone sometime…"

"No Harry I already told you, you're not going to tell the press about this."

John gulped.

Harriet made excessive motions with her hands as she called, "I can see the tabloids now: Sister of Famous Detective's Companion Reveals All The Inside Secrets!"

John snarled, "No way Harry. You'll exaggerate everything just because you want to be popular. Clara, tell my sister that she's crazy!"

Clara shrugged and believed, "I think it would be kind of neat to see her name in one of those gossip magazines. I'm not saying I support exaggerations though!"

Sherlock budged in, "Seriously? You people actually support that kind of invasive behavior from the paparazzi? No one is telling the tabloids anything! I've been staying out of the news lately and I'd like to keep it that way."

Harry groaned and asked, "Then for my personal inquiry…?"

John stuttered, "Well um… I… uh… we're…"

Sherlock clarified, "He's my boyfriend."