Matsumoto rolled on her back, the receiver pressed to her ear as she sighed softly:
"I'm jut saying it was stupid of me to start the subject. I'm not taking it personally, you go it all wrong." She insisted, twisting a soft strawberry-colored lock between her fingers absent-mindedly.
"Of course you're taking it personally!" Rukia's voice objected stubbornly from the other end of the line and the taller girl could almost see the image of her friend rolling her eyes right in front of her " Just understand, he's not like everybody else, he can't open up and share everything with you all of a sudden as you want him to. Be more patient. He's not being reserved with you on purpose."
"Yes, I understand, but… you know, I felt awful when he stayed in his room for a whole hour or so and when he finally did get out of there, he looked horrible. I was at a loss, I…"
"Was he rude to you?"
"No, no! But he looked… so… worn out. And suddenly so much older!"
"And you did what?"
"Ridiculous attempts to cheer him up…"
"That made it all worse?"
"Y-yeah…" Matsumoto blushed with embarrassment.
"But he didn't say he wouldn't come to the rehearsal tomorrow, did he?"
"No. He didn't…"
"Then it's all cool. Chill out and get some sleep."
"Ok. Thanks, Rukia. Bye."
"Bye."
Matsumoto hung up and stretched, yawning. She then reached for her mobile phone on her bedside table. It was vibrating furiously, moving to the edge of the piece of furniture and threatening to fall on the floor. The girl took it indolently, her thoughts still wandering about into the conversation she had just had. Absently, she glanced at the screen, her half-lidded eyes having a hard time focusing on the letters and turning them into a meaningful information. However, when they finally did, the relaxed, carried away expression left her face along with all the blood and she couldn't help it but gasp, her hand shooting up to cover her now slightly trembling lips.
No… No! Go AWAY! Leave me alone!
Matsumoto let out a small, involuntary whimper and turned the mobile off with a harsh motion, putting it away, too afraid she might actually be tempted to answer it. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to regain her so abruptly shattered composure. She didn't like the fact the name still managed to affect her like this, to shake her whole being so powerfully, to leave her in conflict with herself. It was not only troubling, it was scaring her. How could he have such hold on her? And how long was it going to take to be able to look at what happened, at his name, at him, with indifference? Was it going to go away… ever?
Her heart was raising and she felt somewhat weightless, numb, her thoughts blurry and disconnected. This was not normal. This couldn't be happening. She was only just now beginning to truly heal, to gather the broken pieces of her soul, recover from what she was like when he left her behind. What DID he want? After all this time, what did he imagine they would tell each other? Couldn't he understand… couldn't he realize she wasn't ready to face him? Not yet. Not now. Especially not now… Not when she was so vulnerable.
Before she could comprehend what she was actually doing, she was already dialing a number on the phone. She needed a distraction. And it was barely about 7.30pm.
"You puzzle me." Hitsugaya admitted when he walked into Matsumoto's house, looking around "Why did you call me?"
"I told you, I…"
"Wanted to work on the songs with me. Yes, I remember." He turned around to face her as she was closing the door behind him "But that's not the real reason, is it?"
She stood quiet for awhile, her back still facing him, then she turned slowly around and smiled:
"Would you like a cup of hot cocoa?"
"Sure. Do you have those tiny marshmallows? I love those."
"Me, too!" she giggled as she headed towards the kitchen "Then again, who doesn't!"
Hitsugaya shrugged his jacket off, folding it over his right arm and made a few timid steps in and towards where she had headed. He then stopped, hovered for a moment or two again, and then just sat on the first step of the staircase, turning the lights out on his way so everything sank in semi-darkness, faint light from the darkening street oozing from the windows.
"Why did she call me when she obviously needs some alone time anyway?" he murmured grimly, stretching his legs forward and staring at his feet with surprising intensity. He felt his face contort into an annoyed grimace as he shook his head. He was too unsure of what he was doing here to feel comfortable with himself. He didn't know why he had agreed to come in the first place. He didn't understand what was expected of him and the very thought of not understanding something was quite unappealing to him. Why was he gifted with this so called genius mind if he couldn't put it to any use in situations that were of genuine importance?
He grunted, shaking his head for a second time as he grew even more exasperated, this time with the soft snowy-white locks that were tickling his neck and occasionally getting in his eyes. Oh, but the hair was also her idea, wasn't it?
What an idiocy..
Grunt. Grunt.
"Here." A cup of cocoa was shoved under his nose and he blinked with surprise as he took it.
"Thanks…" He murmured as Matsumoto sat next to him on the step with cocoa in her own hands.
"So…" she began, gliding her finger along the rim of the cup "What were… um, you know, your ideas…"
Pause.
Hitsugaya sighed and placed his cocoa next to his foot on the floor.
"That's not why you called." He pointed out quietly, meeting her eyes, his expression instantly softening as he saw the trouble in the blue orbs. She stood silent for a couple of moments, the nodded slowly.
"Sing me a song." She whispered and he raised a brow.
"Again?"
"Yes."
A smirk slowly spread across his face, followed by a very soft chuckle.
"Look, that won't do, I'm not some sort of a personal radio, you know." He replied, his voice stronger as he shook his head. Matsumoto felt her cheeks heat.
"I didn't-" she began but he raised her hand to stop her from continuing.
"I'll do it... I'll sing you a song if you wanna, but only if you sing with me after that." he finished, his smirk turning into a gentle smile that surprised her with the warmth and kindness it radiated. Her eyes widened ever so slightly as she found herself mutely mesmerized by his face and before she had time to consider his conditions, she had already agreed.
Hitsugaya looked away, the faded light from the street reflecting in his irises soothingly. He then closed his eyes slowly, beginning to hum the melody of a song that Matsumoto recognized shortly before he opened his mouth and the glorious, lovely voice filled the air.
When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one
Matsumoto's body had relaxed completely. Listening to this was comforting her, comforting her heart and mind and soul in way that was breath-taking and so, so soothing... Even without music, it was so much more beautiful and melodious than anything she had ever heard. In violation with all common sense, that voice of his, so different from the original, thicker, deeper, still sounded a thousand times more gentle. Like rose petals, gently caressing your ears, your lips, your face, your skin, and in the same time seeping through your body and healing your spirit like nothing else could.
I will never let you fall…let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Matsumoto sighed as the echo of the last few tones vanished completely in the thin air. She wasn't sure whether she'd ever get used to the effect his singing had on her. It was just too strong, too inexplicable, too different from anything her senses had ever stumbled upon. She couldn't imagine taking it as something less that amazing, it just wasn't possible.
"It's your turn." He said and she looked at him with glossy eyes "But I want you to sing something… more cheerful."
"You said you'd sing with me."
"I will. You start. You don't have to choose a duet, just any song." He encouraged, smirk forming on his lips again. She couldn't suppress her own smirk as she looked down at her hands for a moment before closing her eyes and biting the inner side of her cheek thoughtfully. It took her a few seconds of hovering over what song to perform before she finally nodded with content and turned to face him.
All the could-be's buzzin' 'round
My mind a thousand-timely cloud
And now I can not see the sun
All the worries on my list
Rush like lamings off a cliff
I'm powerless to save even one
All my friends tell me I'm thinking too much
It's not over 'til it's over
Because today is trouble enough
Live tomorrow, 'til tomorrow
She jumped when next to her Hitsugaya suddenly started singing, too… A completely different song though. Her eyes widened and her jaw hit the floor.
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Back to the rule and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow
She laughed a good, generous laugh when he across his face spread a wide, full-fledged grin and gestured to her to go on. She shook her head with disbelief, but then continued singing from where she'd stopped.
I'm not jinxing what could be
Second guessing what I see
There is you and there is me
No what if's
His butting in startled her again and she blinked with surprise.
Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
"Go." He nudged her.
My crossing fingers knocking wood
'cause worrying about we could
Spoil the moment when it's good
No more what ifs
Could-be's
One day's
If only's
Matsumoto giggled. This actually sounded cool.
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older
But the meteor men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin
The waters getting warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire how about yours
That's the way I like it and I never get bored
Matsumoto could already feel where to begin singing and for her own surprise she found herself enjoying this game. When she started this time, she sounded more enthusiastic and lively, something she now realized had definitely been lacking in the beginning.
That intro's looping on and on
Don't really get to feel the song
When it's only playing in my head
If I don't listen with my heart
Trust my instincts from the start
Then I'm as done, as done can get
Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
So I'm not
I'm not jinxing what could be
Second guessing what I see
There is you and there is me
No what if's
Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
My crossing fingers knocking wood
'cause worrying about we could
Spoil the moment when it's good
No more what ifs
Could-be's
One day's
If only's
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep what a concept
I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little change
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Back to the rule and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow
So I'm not
I'm not jinxing what could be
Second guessing what I see
There is you and there is me
No what if's
Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
Hitsugaya nodded to her to encourage her to finish her song.
My crossing fingers knocking wood
'cause worrying about we could
Spoil the moment when it's good
No more what ifs
Could-be's
One day's
If only's
If the sky falls down
What if it don't work out
What if a black cat crosses my path
Does that mean you and me, we're not gonna last?
What if Mr Right turns out to be wrong?
What if there's no happy ending for this song
What if the one for me is the one that's she's with
When my heart feels love, or will my head believes it?
I'm thinking too much.
It's not over 'til it's over
'cause today is trouble enough
Live tomorrow, 'til tomorrow
I'm not jinxing what could be
Second guessing what I see
There is you and there is me
No what if's
My crossing fingers knocking wood
'cause worrying about we could
Spoil the moment when it's good
No morewhat ifs
Could-be's
One day's
If only's
And then the song died.
It was dark already, pitch dark, but Matsumoto could see his eyes glowing faintly. She didn't even notice how her lips were now curved into a sweet, kind smile. Because she had already forgotten why she had been upset in the first place.
"That was fun." She heard him whisper. They laughed very quietly together, as if they were afraid if they raised their voices too much, it was going to break the thin threads that kept the fragile balance between them.
Strange...
They continued gazing at each other - an intense moment, so deep and breath-taking... yet somehow not overstraining, but just light and sweet, like cotton candy. Impossible to spoil.
Matsumoto felt his fingers dancing through her hair, she herself unconsciously leaning towards him.
And then the phone rang from somewhere on the second floor.
They both jumped, startled the sound, and he pulled back harshly. Matsumoto felt perplexed for a moment, dazed as if she had just woken from a dream, and she laughed nervously for no particular reason.
"I'll… I'll go get it." She said as she got up. Hitsugaya nodded, grateful that she couldn't see how flushed he was in the dark.
Matsumoto disappeared up the stairs and he exhaled slowly, running a hand through his hair.
What the hell just happened?
A/N: Ok, the first song was by a request, it's called Your Guardian Angel. The "duet" was a mix from No More (what ifs) - Matsumoto's part and All Star - Hitsugaya's part.
Hope it turned out fine. Review, please!