Ch 10- Now I can breathe again

•••••

The route they were taking seemed familiar. She'd been on this road before, but she couldn't place when exactly that was. They seemed to be driving on an endless road to nowhere, but kept reassuring her that it'd all be okay. She trusted him. More than she'd ever trusted anyone. Maybe it was because of the way he'd kiss her forehead every time he sensed her worrying, or because he stayed with her at the hospital for 2 weeks as she sat beside her mom, or maybe it was the way he didn't push her to remember him. Everyone else she saw, Bonnie, Elena, Matt, Jeremy, they all were pushing her. But not him. He's the one who needed her to remember the most... But he didn't push.

"We're here." He said, getting out of the car to open the door for her.

"My dads cabin." She whispered. "I haven't been here since before...before he died."

"Actually, you have." He smiled. "We came here once a while back for spring break because neither of us had any plans."

"Oh." She said. "This feels so strange."

"What does?" He asked her grabbing her hand and walking up the stairs to the front porch with her.

She smiled, intertwining their fingers as they walked. "You... Talking about me and knowing everything and I don't remember telling you any of it. I don't remember you and you basically know everything there is to know about me."

"Because I love you." He whispered, his words made her stand still. She didn't know what to say.

"You know, there's this feeling inside of me that... I just can't seem to shake." She said. "And it's eating me alive, because every time I look at you I feel butterflies in my stomach, and my cheeks go pink, and it's like I'm in high school. Like I'm one of those people who believes in soulmates."

He couldn't help but laugh as she spoke. "Great, and now you think I'm a joke." Caroline huffed.

"No,no,no." He said defensively, still trying to contain his laughter. "It's just... You're still exactly the same as you always were."

"Is that a good thing?" She asked uncertainly.

"Of course that's a good thing." He smiled, bringing his thumb to her cheek and gently moving it back and forth. "I fell in love with you...and just because you don't remember who I am, doesn't mean that I'm no going to love you anymore."

"Can I tell you something?" She whispered.

"Anything."

"I know I loved you." She said. "That's why I feel butterflies, that's why my cheeks go pink, that's why I believe in soulmates. It's because of you,Stefan."

He can't say anything after that. It's as if she's rendered him speechless. So he does the only thing he can do.. The only thing he needs to do. He kisses her.

It's soft at first, but soon he finds himself swinging the door open as she struggles to pull off his tshirt. He helps her by pulling it off for her before assisting her in unbuttoning her blouse. They stumble through the hallway and collapse on the couch, him on top of her. He starts planting kisses along her neck making his way down her chest until he reaches her breasts. He stops to unhook her bra, never taking his eyes off of her, and when he's done her lips come crashing into his once again. She starts to unbuckle his pants and he continues trailing her body with kisses, removing every item clothing on her until she's completely naked.

"Stefan..." She moaned between kisses. "Now."

"Wait.." He whispered. "I want this to be perfect."

But she stopped him with a firm kiss and held him off of her with her hands. "I don't care about perfect.. Just please... Now." She begged.

And staring into those pale blue eyes, he couldn't help but comply. Soon enough he was inside of her, both moving in perfect sync with one another. He wondered if it was just sex for her. She didn't remember him, it might've well just been that. But he looked at her again, and the look she gave him told him this was anything other than 'just sex'.This was love. They were two people in love... Even though she didn't remember it.

That was what he thought about all night. How much he loved his best friend and he wondered why it's taken him so long to realize that.

He thought about the countless times people had asked him if he and Caroline were ever more than that. Saying no was a reflex, it came naturally to him. He didn't have to think about it. When did things change? At which exact moment in time did she become someone he might fall in love with?

•••••

1 YEAR AGO

"Really?" He joked. "What about me?"

"You're too perfect to know tragedy.." She smiled. "You should be thankful though.I remember being in high school.. I remember why Matt and I broke up."

"Oh." He said, surprised. Caroline barely ever brought Matt up.. "Why did you guys break up? You never told me that, other than he said that it wasn't real. If you don't mind me asking of course."

"I lied to you, Stefan." She said, a single tear falling from her eye. "I did something horrible."

"You can tell me anything." He whispered, wiping away her tears.

"You'll hate me forever if I do." She sobbed.

"Caroline, you can tell me anything." He repeated, his tone more serene this time.

"I was pregnant." She whispered.

"What?" He asked, adjusting his position so that he was sitting up straight.

"I was pregnant... And I wanted to keep the baby, but Matt wanted me to... He, uh... He wanted me to abort. And I let him talk me into it." By now she was hysterical, her tear stained face was buried in her hands as she sat next to him breaking down.

"I killed my baby, Stefan." She sobbed. "I killed my own baby... I was supposed to protect it from the world and I killed it."

"Hey." He said, wrapping his arms around her. "It's okay.. We've all made mistakes. You can't beat yourself up about something you did in high school. No matter what it is."

"Why are you still here?" She asked. "Why are you comforting me? I scream disaster and tragedy and everything bad about life... Why are you staying?"

"Because you're my friend." He said, softly. "My best friend. And I don't care what horrible things you've done or are going to do.. You'll always be my best friend. You changed my life, Caroline Forbes.. And there is no way to go back."

"You really are a great guy." She whispered. "Why can't all boys be like you? I don't wasn't to love a total douchebag.. I want to love someone who knows how to take care of me and knows that I'm a strong, independent woman.. And doesn't hate me because of that. For once, I just want someone to love me as much as I love them."

"You're going to find that someone." He said. "You wanna know how I know?"

She raised her shoulders, listening to him answer her silent question. "Because I know that. I love that about you.. And if someone as shallow as me can see that, then I have no doubt in my mind that you're going to find that person someday."

"I hope you're right." She whispered. "And Stefan?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you for not hating the real me.. I love you because of it."

"I love you too." He whispered. It didn't mean anything, it was just a promise. A promise between two friends (best friends.) he'd always be there...and so would she.

•••••

Maybe that was the moment.