"Yo, Deano."

What the hell was Gabriel doing in Dean's dream? This was his and Cas' space, for when Cas would drop by to say hello when he had a minute or two. And why was the little shit lying on an obnoxiously bright pink pool lounger, floating on the lake? And why did she suddenly look like her old vessel again? Dammit, Dean had only just gotten his pronouns straight.

At least he looked relaxed enough that Dean wasn't worried about Cas being in trouble.

"What do you want?"

Gabriel, the little bastard, grinned up at him before snapping his fingers and conjuring something cold and fruity and probably alcoholic with a straw and an umbrella and other girly shit.

"Rejoice," she (he?) said, watching Dean over the ridiculous sugared rim of his glass, his eyes dancing, "for I bring you tidings of great joy."

Dean snorted and kicked water over the archangel. "Knock it off."

Gabriel rolled his eyes and gave a great, long-suffering sigh as if he was the one being toyed with. "Fine. Killjoy. I'm sending your boyfriend home: he needs some R&R."

Was Cas safe enough to come back? Because Dean really didn't want to argue here, he sure as hell would rather see Cas in person than in a dream (which was still better than nothing at all), but he had people he had to look after too: Sam and Bobby and Ellie, and everyone in Sioux Falls too. What if something happened, something went wrong?

"Yeah, I know why you sent him back to me," Gabriel said lazily, breaking into his thoughts. His eyes were on the sky; specifically the spotty clouds that were interrupting his sunbathing, "and I kind of agreed with you then, but he's not a machine, kid: he needs a break and so do you."

"I'm fine," Dean said quickly, automatically, but Gabriel didn't look convinced. He said nothing, just sucked on his straw, slurping up the yellow concoction he had created, his eyes fixed on Dean as if he was daring Dean to say it again, to make him believe it.

Dean squirmed uncomfortably and gave up. "Yeah, maybe we could all do with a rest. And it would be good to see Cas."

"Jeez, don't injure yourself, Winchester," Gabriel replied scornfully. "Hope you're not so emotionally stunted with my brother: he could do with some thorough distraction."

Dean could feel himself blushing at the amount of innuendo Gabriel had ladled onto that last part. Why did they all seem to think he and Cas were fucking?

Suddenly, the lounger disappeared and Gabriel was sat beside Dean, on the edge of the jetty. His feet were dangling an inch or so off the water, which would be funny under any other circumstance.

"We going to have to have The Talk?"

Dean cringed. Seriously? What did Gabriel think he was, fifteen? Also, he was really, acutely aware that this was Cas' brother, in a way he wasn't usually aware of that fact.

"Serious question, Dean," Gabriel said, his voice more gentle than usual. "Because Cas won't understand if you decide to have a big gay panic over this. He can't understand. Hell, even I think it's weird, and I spent thousands of years down there with you guys."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you've got no idea about gender identity."

He gestured to Gabriel's body, which he was very much aware had been burned to ashes by Kali weeks ago. Which meant it was a projection.

Gabriel looked down at himself, and looked surprised at how he appeared. Maybe he hadn't done it on purpose, but that proved Dean's point all the more.

The archangel shrugged, looking a bit self-conscious. "I spent a long time as Loki, but that doesn't mean I'm uncomfortable as a woman." He paused, and all of a sudden her appearance changed, her toes even further away from the water Dean was still cooling his feet in.

"It really doesn't make much difference to me. My first… three vessels were women, actually. And Cas has been some very foxy ladies in the past too. So, do we have a problem?"

It wasn't like Dean didn't know that Cas had taken a female vessel before, but he tried not to think too much about it given that Claire Novak had been all of twelve at the time. But it was just weird thinking about Cas in any other vessel than Jimmy. It was always those blue eyes and the stupid dark, I've-just-flown-halfway-round-the-world hair that Dean pictured whenever Cas said anything about his past.

But, former girl vessels or not, Cas was wearing a guy now, and Dean didn't know what to do with that. It wasn't a 'big gay panic', as Gabriel had so charmingly put it; it was more like a lack of experience. Dean rubbed his face, knowing this was going to be embarrassing and painful, but it needed doing. He actually had the one person who might actually talk to him about this, as long as they could both keep on track and not break out the sarcasm. But he needed something first:

"Dude, can you at least look like you?" he asked. "It's bad enough that you're Cas' brother: I can't do this when you're Ellie."

Gabriel smirked at him and shifted her form to something bright and huge and convoluted and all the colours at once and his mind was just on the verge of going 'nope' and crapping out on him when Gabriel shifted back to being a guy once again.

In all fairness, that was probably what Gabriel really did look like, and Dean surprised himself by chuckling.

"Smart ass. Way to not make me conscious of how insignificant I look next to Cas."

Gabriel fixed him with a level glare. No malice, just making sure Dean was paying attention. "That's how our brothers see it," he pointed out. "Cas doesn't. I don't: I was made to play on Earth with you guys. Cas… well, I reckon Cas was made a bit like me. Maybe Dad always meant to make him an archangel eventually. But the rest? They don't get it. That's what you're up against. That's what Cas is up against every day."

Dean nodded. He remembered too many barbed comments from angels to ever forget just exactly what the majority of them thought of humanity, and of him specifically. Rachel and Balthazar… Holy crap, Balthazar was alive! Sure, he was as much of a dick as the rest, but at least he enjoyed what humanity had to offer him. Maybe they would get on this time around?

"Okay. Okay. So, can you guys actually get off?"

Gabriel gave him an oddly soft smile. "Oh, Dean, you've really got no idea, do you?"

"No," Dean snapped before he could stop himself. "And neither does Cas. He's not like you – he's had a body for a couple of years, not thousands. Hell, I didn't even know angels could have kids until you dropped Ellie on us."

He paused, thinking about that one for a second. Because he knew some things about Ellie's family, pieced together between her and Gabriel.

"Okay," he said slowly, letting himself think aloud for Gabriel's benefit, "so if you can have kids, you can get your vessel off at least. And since your kid was an accident, I'm guessing you and Lee…"

Dammit, he'd forgotten her name. He knew Ellie was named after her, but it was something weird and German.

"Liesl," Gabriel supplied helpfully.

"So you and Liesl were screwing for fun? At first?"

"Yeah," Gabriel said. "Yeah, we can enjoy sex. That's not the only thing bothering you, though, is it?"

Dean sighed. "No. And I'm not stupid, I know you need lube, but does it really feel good? Do guys really get off on being fucked?"

Gabriel gave a snort of laughter. "Yeah, they can, if it's done right. Some guys really do love taking it, some guys don't. You're over-thinking it. Sex isn't just about shoving your dick into someone, you know. Loads of gay couples never do. It's about being together and having a good time. And Cas might surprise you: he might not have actual experience, but he knows the limitations, the ins and outs of a human body better than you do. Just… let things take their course. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go hit on your brother."

Dean never quite knew whether or not to take Gabriel seriously when he said that, because sometimes he wondered about those two, and with Ellie involved it was even more complicated. Her and Sam were painfully hilarious together.

But Dean got distracted, because almost as soon as he startled awake, as he always did when he got dream-walked, Cas arrived. In the dim light, he was hard to make out, but that light-coloured coat stood out in the faint moonlight that was trickling in through the shitty, threadbare drapes.

"Hey Cas," Dean said, his voice rough with sleep.

"Dean." Cas sounded like he was smiling. That was a good sign.

Dean reached out, grabbed Cas' hand, pulled him close. "Missed you."

"I missed you too, Dean. But I can come back later, once you have slept."

"Don't you dare," Dean said as firmly as he could. "Want you here." He tugged harder on Cas' hand. "C'mon, get in."

.oOo.

Dean woke up slowly, which was something of a luxury really: the number of times he got startled awake either from a nightmare, a dream-walk, or someone physically invading the room was getting to be ridiculous. Today, there was none of that; just warm sunshine, warm bed and the warmth coming from…

"Cas?"

"Good morning, Dean," Cas said, his arms tightening briefly around Dean. "You slept well."

Dean opened his eyes. He was still at Bobby's, exactly where he expected to be, but he was lying against Cas, his left ear pressed against the soft cotton of Cas' white shirt. He could see why girls liked this: he felt really safe here, in Cas' arms. How many people could say their sleep was guarded over by a freaking archangel?

"You okay?" Dean asked, pressing himself further into Cas. "Gabriel said you needed a break."

"I never truly appreciated how much grace an archangel has," Cas admitted. "I am struggling a little to use only what I need. But she assures me I will get used to it."

"Can't say I'm sorry you're here," Dean said, tracing his fingers lightly over the thin fabric of Cas' shirt. "Been thinking about this for a while."

Now, wasn't that interesting? The little catch in Cas' breathing as his wandering hand flicked over Cas' left nipple, feeling it harden under his fingertips. Were other parts of Cas hard too? Now that was an interesting thought.

He wriggled himself around a little, so that he could kiss Cas. His angel melted under him, allowing Dean to take things a little further than usual, to distract Cas with a little nibble of his bottom lip and a gentle stroke of his tongue that made Cas gasp. It seemed like Cas had been looking forward to this just as much as Dean, and he was damned if he wasn't going to make the most of this prescribed vacation while they had it.

"Dean?" Cas sounded worried rather than horny, which was a situation Dean was not happy about. Had he misread things? Maybe Gabriel was only talking about himself (herself? Damn archangel and its confusing genders) when he had said about angels being able to enjoy sex? Was this something Cas even wanted?

Cas pulled him close and kissed him fiercely, putting some of his fears to rest.

"I don't know if I can control myself," Cas admitted quietly as he held Dean to his chest. "I don't want to injure you, but I also want this. You have no idea how long I have entertained the idea of this."

Dean swallowed past a lump in his throat, because he did have an idea. At the time he had thought that Cas had made a mess of things with the hooker because he wasn't into sex, but it didn't take him too long to work out the truth. Cas beating the crap out of him while informing Dean of everything he had given up had pretty much been the big clue there. And he now thought it, it had probably been that first Halloween when Sam had kicked Samhain's ass, where Cas had admitted his doubts about Heaven: that had taken some serious trust on Cas' part, some serious feelings for Dean even back then.

And how long had Dean wanted Cas for? How long since he let that little seed start to take root in his head? Had it really taken finding out that Cas was lying to him about Crowley and Purgatory for him to realise?

"You won't hurt me," Dean assured him, laying his hand over Cas' heart and feeling its strong beat beneath his palm. "I trust you. And if your shithead brother can do this, so can you."

There was the tiniest snort of laughter from Cas. Dean manoeuvred himself up so he could see the lines crinkling at the corners of Cas' eyes; that gentle smile that was only ever his.

"And don't you say that he's older, or more experienced or whatever, because you are awesome and I believe in you."

There was a look of awe on Cas' face that Dean wasn't altogether sure he could handle seeing, so he kissed it away; long and hard and deep until he was breathless. He rubbed his hand across the front of Cas' pants and swallowed the desperate whine that escaped from the angel.

"Dean, I…"

"Trust me," he whispered as he undid the belt. "Trust your vessel and trust me."

"I do," Cas gasped, "but…"

Dean pressed a kiss to the underside of Cas' jaw. "I got no intention of losing my eyes," he said. "Trust me."

So maybe this wasn't going to be the handjob to end all handjobs and completely blow Cas' mind, but Dean would find a way to make that happen too, even if it meant more uncomfortable conversations with Gabriel. This was just about allowing Cas to enjoy what humanity could offer him, what Dean could offer him, for now. And if Cas somehow managed to look completely debauched while glowing with the pure white light of his grace, then who was Dean to complain?

Parts 2-4 of 'Five Times...' occur after this chapter. They are immediately followed by 'Field Trip'. And I've now caught up to myself. Hooray!