A/N: Fluff, again. I have something coming, something big, and it was going to be in this chapter but I got carried away with fluffiness so it'll have to wait till next chapter. Once you read, you'll know what this big thing is and I hope that you enjoy some suspense! Read and reveiw, por favor.

And I disclaim. All Characters you recognize aren't mine, they're SM's.

Chapter 10- The Sound of Settling

"My brain's repeating, 'if you've got an impulse let it out'." - Death Cab For Cutie, The Sound of Settling

KPOV

The phone rang loudly in the kitchen, disturbing the silence. Jared groaned and lifted his arm off of my stomach to let me up. Who was calling me at eleven on a friday night? The caller ID said Dad. My chest instantly contracted in that second of panic that you feel when something could be very, very wrong.

"Dad?"

"Hey Kim-Bean, how are you?" Fake happiness.

"I'm fine. And yourself?" Awkward.

"I'm well, thanks for asking. I have something to tell you." No shit.

"Okay..."

"I'm, um, going to be bringing someone to dinner with me on Sunday. Is that alright? Will you have enough food?" Someone. Did this someone have bleach blonde hair and a fake nose?

"Of course Dad, that would be nice. Should I make something special?"

"Well... they like seafood, the person that I'm bringing, but you don't have to go out of your way."

"Okay, sounds good Dad."

"You bet Kim-Bean, I'll see you on Sunday."

"Okay," I said into the phone but he was already gone. There was a million things going through my mind: Who was it? Why did he say 'they' instead of 'she'? What about seafood do they like? Can you tell something about a person based on what food they like? What can I make? Swordfish? Chilean Sea Bass? Mahi Mahi? Should I decorate? Does this really need to be happening right now?

I poured myself a glass of iced tea as all of these questions flew through my head at top speed. I started planning out dinnerware and an outfit, the table settings and the plates I would use. I could feel my back and neck tightening the more I thought about it. I didn't even notice Jared come down the stairs. His arms wrapped around my middle and squeezed lightly.

"It's going to be okay. Just... breathe." His warm breathe on my neck made me shiver and I forget about my current predicament. I was tired again; that's how easy Jared distracted me.

"Can we go back to sleep now?"

"Yeah." But I couldn't just shut off my brain like that, no matter how distracting Jared was being. I laid in bed, my body entangled with Jared's as I tried to just stop thinking. He wasn't sleeping either; I could tell by his shallow breathing.

"You have a lot to do tomorrow, Honey, please try and go to sleep," he said pleadingly.

"I just... can't."

"What are you thinking about?" He whispered the question into my neck.

"S-stuff," I stuttered out as he ran his lips from my ears to my shoulder and back.

"What kind of stuff?" I couldn't even answer this time because his teeth made contact with my ear and made all coherent thoughts and speech nonexistent. He ran his hand over my arm. "You never answered my question." How did he expect me to answer when he was doing that? If you were to ask me just one month ago if I could melt into a boy, I'd tell you you were crazy. But right now, in this moment, I was a liquid pool of Kim that was dripping onto the wood floor. "Kim?"

"Yeah?" My hands moved into his hair as he rolled us over so that he was hovering over me, his lips making trials along my cheeks.

"You okay, Honey?"

"Yeah... just don't stop doing that."

"No problem." He kissed my nose and finally made it to the place I wanted him most. I let him take control because he was just so good at it and... I really liked that he was dominant. It made me feel safe and protected and it was... hot. Yes, hot. Not that I'd ever admit that. So I let him slip his lips between mine and kiss me like I was the only thing that ever mattered to him.

I needed to be closer. I had been so far from everyone for so long that now I needed to feel; not that type of feel that had disconnected me, but the good feel. The Jared feel. I arched my back into him and scraped my nails along his scalp. His hair was so soft. He kissed me harder and moved to rest his weight on his forearms, bringing himself closer to me. His body was radiating heat like a fire. I ran my nails from his hair, down his shoulders, and over his chest. He kind of growled into my mouth and it caused a vibration that was ridiculously hot, so I did it again. We broke apart, needing oxygen, and he breathed heavily in my ear.

"We need to stop," he whined.

"I don't want to."

"I know..." I mean really, was there a need to stop?

"So we shouldn't. I don't want to think anymore. Kiss me," I pleaded.

"I know, I know... but..." He pressed his lips to mine hard for a second but broke away quickly.

"But what?"

"I don't want to move too fast. I mean, you're in your pajamas - very small pajamas - and I don't have a shirt or pants on for that matter, and I am on top of you, in your bed. We are moving too fast. Way too fast." What was supposed to say to that? 'Well, I haven't had any affection or personal relationships except for Mina in the past three years and I have this ridiculous need to be near you at all times and all I want to do all day is kiss you senseless.' Might as well say 'I'm a whore now have your way with me before I spontaneously combust.'

But instead I said "Fine." and left it at that, rolling out from under him and out of bed.

"Come on, Honey, don't be like that."

"Whatever, Jared." I was simultaneously embarrassed and offended... and ashamed. I mean, I just got rejected, essentially. And I seemed desperate and slutty. I had plans to make anyway; I had a guest that was coming in two days. A guest that apparently was important enough for me to meet her. I walked swiftly out of the room and padded down the stairs. I heard Jared coming after me but ignored him and moved into the kitchen. There was a recipe box above the kitchen sink and I reached to get it but big russet hands had already closed around it. Jared moved it to the counter and placed his hands on either side of me on the kitchen sink, trapping me.

"Look at me," he pleaded softly.

"No."

"Kim."

"No."

"Honey."

"Back. Off. Jared."

"No. Stop it and look at me." I hated him.

"What? What do you want me to say? What is so important to you at twelve-thirty in the morning - " but I didn't get to finish my little rant because he kissed me so forcefully that I had to steady myself by grabbing his shoulders. He cupped my face and ran his weathered fingertips over my cheek bones. He moved his tongue between my lips and traced the roof of my mouth as he moved his fingers through my hair.

"That's what," he whispered softly as he rested his forehead against mine. I was a bit lightheaded so I just closed my eyes and leant further into him. "You can plan and be OCD tomorrow. Come back to bed and lay with me. You know I don't sleep well without you." And there went every angry, upset, or hurt feeling. I both loved and hated that he could do that to me.

"Okay." Did that make me weak? Did that make me unable to even make my own decisions? Did that make me a follower? "I'm not like this for just anyone, Jared. You - you... I don't know what you do or how you do it but... I just have the urge all the time to make you happy... and I like it." Epiphany! The way I felt about Jared was genuine. It wasn't fake and unreachable like pleasing my dad was. It wasn't me covering my bases and making sure I was pleasing everyone. I really wanted to keep Jared happy (when I wasn't being a selfish idiot). No matter what it took. That was why our relationship was so easy. I loved doing his laundry and folding his socks the way he liked and making his favorite food and just living for him. It wasn't living for me and then living for everyone else. It was living for us. And I loved that. I loved it.

Maybe I didn't love Jared quite yet but I loved being his person. His confidant, his comforter, his object of affection. I starved for him to tell me things, tell me anything, about his life and his world. I was connected to a human being. We were together, with something air-tight, steel wired, and solid between us. A bridge that was impossible to destroy. I held him tighter and he kissed my forehead. Yes, we were connected by things that were stronger than cold hard facts and truth.

_________________________

I woke up early and headed to the barn, making my rounds and just doing regular endurance or fitness tests to gauge which horses' schedules needed to be changed. I cleaned and organized and did my OCD thing. But it wasn't exhausting. I was well rested and this was calming. I ran my hands over my tack, feeling the supple leather under my finger tips and inspecting every crevice of every saddle and every bridle.

I ran my hands over Nova's coat, who relaxed appreciatively under my touch, reaching back with his head to nudge me in happiness. He was so expressive. I moved to the next stall, Jazz's, and scratched his ears. Jazz loved to be touched all over his face, from his ears to his joules, he loved to just be admired like the show-off he was. His dark grey coat was shiny and thin and I ran my hands over the slick hair, removing a small film of surface dust. I moved to Fiona's stall, whistling a little to get her attention, my delicate little mare. She was prissy and a bit difficult but she was my little girl. And when she moved across the arena it was like watching the ballet. Fiona liked her attention focused on her main and tail, her thick beautiful hair shined in the dim light of the barn as I ran my fingers through it. She nickered lovingly and I smiled.

These were my babies. My reason to keep moving. They were strong and powerful and I tailored them each to their specific needs and they kept me human. They gave me their hearts and I gave them my promise to keep them safe, healthy, and happy. My horses were happy, they were healthy and conditioned to a tee; my horses were part of me.

I moved down the aisles, giving out peppermints, checking water buckets, and rubbing noses. This is what connected me to the world, this is what kept me sane. I looked at them now and smiled at my horses. All of them. The hard headed ones, the perfect ones, the dull ones, the ones that needed some work, the ones that were hurting, and the ones that needed stability and I smiled my first smile without something causing it. I was happy. Happy and light. And it was because I was near the things that I loved; not because I was endorphin high or slap happy.

By the time I got back home it was already noon. Jared would be home in a half hour. I heated up left overs on his plate, stuffed ravioli and spinach salad, and set to work calmly on my plans for tomorrow's dinner. A chopped salad with crabcakes for appetizer, Spicy Cod fillets with a white cream sauce as my entree, and fruit cakes for dessert. I ran this by Jared who was too busy inhaling his food to answer.

"Sounfs goo."

"Swallow, Jay."

"Sounds good. Are you nervous?"

"Not anymore. I will be, but not right now." He smiled at me and I couldn't help but walk over to him and run my hands down his shoulders. So broad and muscular. It felt like I had this new ability to see and feel things so I touched whatever I could find, like a child. I kissed his neck and squeezed the space between his neck and his shoulders, feeling the muscles move, feeling the skin contract there. He made a small noise and dropped his fork.

"So tired..."

"I know. I need to talk to Sam. I mean, I'm all for hard work and go till you drop but with only the three of you? We need to go make one of the elders' sons angry or something. Can we do that?" He mumbled something along the lines of 'not unless you want to be shunned' and promptly feel asleep, eyes closed, mouth open, half a plate of food still uneaten. I ran and grabbed a pillow from the den and placed it behind his neck... could werewolves get neck aches? Whatever, better safe than sorry.

Max walked lazily into the kitchen and yawned tiredly. Looks like my werewolf isn't the only pup that was tired.

"What have you done all day that is making you tired except for sleeping?" I picked him up and he snuggled happily into my arms. He was so warm and cuddly. I just wanted to go snuggle with him. I wanted to go wrap myself in all of the things that were making me happy right now and never come out. But I had responsibilites and company tomorrow... was it weird that I regarded my own father as company in his house? Probably. I settled Max into Jared's lap and his didn't stir once. I watched my boys sleeping and my heart nearly burst; it wasn't used to all of this stretching.

I prepared the meal and pre-cooked what I could for the rest of the day, caught up on bills and files that needed to be organized, and read. Jared awoke eventually and collapsed onto the couch next to me, bringing max with him and resting him on his chest as he placed his head in my lap.

"How's your neck?"

"Mhm mmm... mhuh."

"Oh really? Could you translate that for me? And when's your next patrol?"

"It's fine. That means that I'm too tired to process the question, much less answer, and... at midnight," He yawned and snuggled closer to me. He was adorable and genuine. Like a child; an innocent little boy that just wanted to spend the day with his puppy and his girl.

"Okay. Are you hungry? You didn't finish your ravioli. Was it bad?"

"Nothing you make is ever bad. And no. Even if I was, I'd be too tired to get up right now; too comfortable."

"Me too." I ran my fingers through his hair and memorized the softness on my fingertips. So beautiful. I flicked on the TV and ordered a movie, something to laze around with. I drifted between reality and dreamland and eventually went up to bed with Max when Jared left for patrol. I wasn't nervous or anxious about or even anticipating tomorrow. I was at peace; relaxed. The past seemed so far; the hurt seemed so far.

__________________________

I awoke early, having gone to bed early, with Max licking my face. "Gross, pup." He wined a little and hopped off the bed. I followed him down the stairs and let him out the back door, watching as he sniffed around for a place to do his business as the warm summer air, scented with the salt of the ocean, hit my face. I breathed deep, feeling a strong sense of calm. Until I remembered that company was coming today. And then I breathed deep again, this time to relieve the tension, not to revel in the calm that had just dissipated. Max trotted up the back steps and into the house happily and went immediately to the door. He barked his tiny little bark and a second later, Jared was there to pick him up and snuggle.

"Hey," he whispered. There was just something about the morning in La Push that made you want to be quiet. Especially in a big old house.

"Hey," I whispered back and walked over to my favorite person.

"You look beautiful." I nearly laughed. My hair was probably frizzing out in all directions and my eyes were crusty.

"Lies, but thank you." I smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. It was so hard, yet so soft at the same time. He put Max on the couch and fitted his arms around my shoulders. They were heavy and strong, like steel bars.

"How was patrol?" I mumbled into his bare abdomen.

"Meh, I'm tired. Not too bad. How long did I sleep yesterday?"

"A good five hours. Did it help?"

"Yeah."

"Good." We stayed like that for a few minutes as he ran his hands up and down my arms, warming them in the slightly chilly house.

"Breakfast?" I loved cooking for Jared.

"Yes, please." I released him and lead him into the kitchen.

"What do you want?"

"Anything. I'm starving." So I made pancakes and fruit salad and fresh orange juice, enough to feed four people. He sat there the whole time and watched me. Jared offered to help me cook once, but I wouldn't let him. It was something that I did by myself and imprint or not, there were just some things that were to be done alone. For me, cooking was one of them. We ate in silence, just our bare feet touching under the table as we ate. I used to have music playing all the time. From classical to rock to alternative. All the time. But now, there was no need. I had a body, a someone, a perfect someone to share my silence with.

We finished out our meal in peace and Jared fell asleep on the couch as I rubbed all the tension out of his neck and I left him there snoring. I played some soft music from my laptop as I began preparing dinner and setting the table. I had started out relaxed, content mixing the ingredients together in bowls and dancing a little to The Audition but as the clock moved my nerves started to kick in. Who was she? Was it even a she? What if he's gay? What if it's a man? That'd be better than a woman, right? Are they judgmental? Will they hate my food? Do they hate the color blue? Because that's what I set the dining room table in. What about drinks? Should I serve wine? Cocktails? Shots? I'm totally not prepared for this. I'm really not.

The telephone rang loudly and I jumped about a foot in the air. Dad.

"Hey Dad, everything okay?"

"Of course Kim-bean! How is everything on your end?"

"I'm doing fine, thank you."

"Okay then. I just wanted to call and let you know that I'm leaving now. Okay?"

"Alright, I'll see you in a few hours." And then there was silence. Four hours. I had four hours and the Cod wasn't even finished marinating. I had four hours and the fruit that I was having delivered wasn't here. Three hours and fifty-nine minutes and I didn't even have my centerpiece. My hands started to shake. I had four hours. If it was a she, how was I going to keep my cool? If it was a she, how was I going to stop from ripping her throat out? How, how, how?

I grabbed the bottle of vodka from the liquor cabinet and poured myself a shot. It was times like these that I absolutely loved living alone. And my God that stung. But it got me back to the ground. I was going to be fine. I was going to make dinner, set up the table and I was going to be just fine. Just like always. Stop hyperventilating, stop shaking, and get it together. In through the nose, out through the mouth. I've become skilled in the art of preventing a mental breakdown.

I finished cooking and took a shower, dressed and tied up loose ends. Jared was still fast asleep but Max had joined me on the love seat as I read and waited for the Cod to finish. One hour. Jared awoke with a start all of a sudden and was up on his feet in less time than I could even look up at him,

"What's wrong?"

"I have to go. I - I'll call you later." He was almost out the door but then he turned and kissed me hard on the lips. "I'm being called. Don't leave the house."

"Okay." he was being called. Called. Called as in there was an emergency. Called as in he didn't have time to even tell me what was going on. Now how was I going to make it through dinner? I watched as he jumped off the porch, one second human, then next a big brown wolf and just a pair of shredded sweat pants laying on the ground.

A/N: For those of you who don't know, owning a horse and being responsible for another life is... hard. But so incredibly worth it. It's impossible to describe the way the connection between a horse and a human comes about, but I tried. Maybe if you have a child, that's what it's like. A horse and it's rider as so in-tuned to each other; like one body. Like I said, impossible to describe. But through blood, sweat and tears (cliche, I know), when you're reveling in each other's presence, that's when you realize that you've given your heart to something that will never break it. I promise; I know firsthand.