Chapter 10: Truth
My eyes snap open. I sit there, strapped to my chair, and just sit there thinking as Evan records my responses. I saved the girl, I tell myself, I saved her, but I paid a great price. Should I have not done that? I push that thought away as soon as it forms. The poor Amity girl deserved to live, and there was no other way to keep her safe. My moment of thought turns into a moment of fear and curiosity when Jeanine walks over to me, and gives me that look that she gives me when she's going to tell me something I don't really want to hear. I wonder what the upsetting or scary news is this time.
"Grey," she says, "I see you have not lost your aptitude for Abnegation, Dauntless, or Erudite. However, the simulation has not been designed to see if you still have aptitude for Candor or Amity. Luckily, I have come up with a solution." She holds up a syringe filled with a blue-green liquid, and I shudder. I've never liked Candor that much, even though I have aptitude for it. Secrets would never be safe there, which frightens me. That means that I would be especially unsafe there with my ultimate Divergence and all of those people who kill the Divergent. The thought is horrible, and I swallow it and focus on the syringe full of serum in Jeanine's hand.
I widen my eyes and watch as Jeanine kneels down next to my left side and inserts the needle of the syringe into my arm instead of my neck. I feel the stabbing pain of the sharp needle as it enters my vein, and I wince. Then, the room starts to sway, and I catch a final glimpse of Evan saying something to me. I don't catch the words, which upsets me. I look at his worried face one last time as the room slowly fades from blue to black.
I wake up in a large room with white walls and a black marble floor with a white symbol in the middle of it. Adrenaline starts coursing through my veins when I realize what the symbol is. I am looking at the unbalanced scales of Candor. Then, a man I have never seen before walks in, and points at a black folding chair.
"Sit," he says. I obey him and sit in the hard, metal chair. He pulls up a similar chair for himself and slowly sits down. He looks me in the eye, and starts talking.
"What is your name?" he asks.
"Grey Alixa Rigor," I answer.
He nods and asks me a new question. "What are your parents' names?"
That kind of question seems nosy to me, but I should be honest with him. He doesn't want to hurt me; he would have already hurt me if he wanted to.
I respond, "Tris and Tobias Eaton. They changed their surname to Rigor after they were married."
The man nods. "Where are you from?" he asks. My body freezes with nervousness. I don't want to tell him where I am really from. I don't want my secret getting out.
"Erudite," I answer. It's true, so I am not lying, but I haven't revealed the whole truth, which makes guilt attack me with sharp claws. The man can tell that I am uneasy about my answer.
"You're lying!" he yells, "You're hiding something! I can see it in your eyes!" I lean back, startled by the man's words.
"I'm sorry," I tell him, trying to make peace. I don't want to fight with this man. I don't want to have to yell at him. I do need to tell him the truth, and I think I can do that without revealing my secret. "Some secrets are best kept," I say as calmly as I can, trying to calm him. It doesn't work.
He starts yelling and screaming, and I know that any attempt at calming him now would be useless. He is like an animal. I have enraged him by withholding the truth. He slaps me repeatedly on my arms and face. The sting from the slaps leaves red marks on my skin, and I lose it. I scream, "I'm sorry!" over and over as loud as I can until my eyes fly open and I exit the simulation.