a Guest reviewer wrote"His {Shirou's}drive to be a hero is ptsd, kiritsugu and wanting his survival to have meaning."
True, the fire was the original impetus. But just like emotions can lead to actions, actions can lead to emotions, and spending your life sacrificing to help others is a symptom of love, albeit not a healthy one.
It's more like the sort of love triggered by Stockholm syndrome
START
Rin collapsed on the couch. The trio had just gotten back to the Emya house from the battle at Ryuudo shrine, and everybody was exhaustive. Fighting was exceptionally tiring. Shirou was just glad that the battle hadn't caused much property damage, this time around (not having a Caster in the mix accounted for that)
"I get the bath after Saber's done," Rin called out. Shirou was in the kitchen, making tea. Not that anybody wanted it, but cooking was how he relaxed when he was keyed up.
"I think she'll be a while. She was coated in crushed bugs and god knows what else."
"Yeah." That had been gross. Really gross, "Do you think she's ok? She looked pretty worn out when we got back." Moth eaten would have been a better description.
Shirou brought the tea service into the dining room. "You would know better than I – she's your Servant."
"Thanks." Rin took a cup and a couple of cookies. They were ones that she had brought over, just last week. God. That felt like it had been another lifetime. Back when Shirou was just the guy she tutored, not... She had no idea what their relationship was now. She wasn't even certain what she wanted it to be.
"As to Saber. I don't know. She says she's fine, but she didn't look good." Rin scowled. Why wouldn't any of her teammates tell her what was really gone on with them?
Shirou sat down opposite her, completely oblivious to her inner turmoil. In his defense, Rin made sure that everybody was oblivious to what was going on in her mind. It was safer that way.
'Well, for now, he's an ally. A very dependable one.'
"How many Servants is that?" Shirou interrupted her introspection. "I mean that we know are out of action? I took out Berserker, we saw Archer run out of mana killing Assassin. Saber dealt with Rider on the stairs. And somebody must have finished off Caster after we last saw her, or she would have had control of Ryuudo. So that leaves just Saber and Lancer."
"Unless one of the others took out Lancer." Rin thought for a moment. "I hate to say it, but we should check in with Kirei. He's the overseer for this ritual, so he will know if Caster is really gone, and if Lancer is the last opponent." The war was almost over. And then her life could go back to normal. She glanced at Shirou. And she would have to deal with 'that'. Yay.
Saber walked in, dressed in a slightly old fashioned blue dress, a towel wrapped around her hair.
"Who is going where?" She scowled at Rin.
[[earlier]]
Saber tried to fight her way out of the bugs. The vile worms were everywhere, covering her, trying to tunnel into her body, trying to tunnel into her mind.
'Yes, they are filthy. But they are no worse than you deserve. You're a worm. Everything you have done has lead to nothing. All you can do is destroy.' Saber had no idea where that thought had come from, but it resonated strangely. 'I ruined Camelot. I ruined Shirou. I am no good even as a servant - I keep finding flaws with my master.'
She swung Excalibur, but you can't cleave worms.
[[now]]
"We were talking about checking in with the overseer tomorrow, to find out which servants are still around."
"Why was I not asked?" Did they not value her input? She had been a king! Maybe she had made mistakes, but she still had more experience in war, in life, in EVERYTHING, than her 'master'. Anger she did not know she harbored began to well up from inside of her.
"You were in the bath," Shirou replied simply, handing her a cup.
Sabers face broke out in a smile, "Thank you. Your tea is always welcome." She sat down with the other two, her rage forgotten.
^Trackless^
She struck down another Saxon savage. They kept swarming in like bugs. Each one was poorly armed, and wearing only scraps of armor. She cut a swath through them, but there was always more. Her rage built as the vermin overwhelmed her men-at-arms, one after another. With a roar, she rallied her men.
^Trackless^
Rin started awake, shivering badly. 'Another of Saber's dreams.' She had shared her Servant's dreams several time, but none had been so visceral, so angry. Saber was usually cool and collected (sometimes too much so).
This was different. It had been bloody, with the carnage everywhere, and Saber had been a berserker, cleaving the Saxons left and right, almost without purpose.
Rin was worried about her Servant, but she wasn't certain what she could do.
And then there was the Shirou problem. Specifically, his 'confession'. The big lunk refused to get a clue. She wanted him to just give up and move on with his life. And it had to be his idea, otherwise he would be hurt.
She realized that she wasn't being terribly rational about it, but that didn't change the fact that she had no idea what to do.
Rin slid out of bed and went to get a drink of water to calm her nerves. 'I might as well get ready for school.' Going to school, all of her old 'normal' life felt so alien. But she needed to keep up the facade. If only for her sanity.
^Trackless^
Shirou walked to school. It was strange – despite all of the turmoil of the past few days, he was looking forwards to this evening, and to the Grail War. He felt like he was finally doing something worthwhile. Fighting Servants, keeping them from running amok, protecting Rin. This must be what being a 'Hero of Justice' was all about. It was hard work, but satisfying.
"Hey, got some time to drop by archery today after class?" Ayako intercepted him as he walked into school. She looked unusually intent.
"Uhm, sorry, no," Shirou replied. He hated saying 'no' to anybody, But Rin wanted to head to Kotomine church right after class. And Shirou also wanted to get that chore over with during daylight hours - maybe the 'fake priest' (as Rin called him) would be less creepy during the day.
"Huh," Ayako paused, before bulling on ahead, "I saw you walking with Rin again yesterday. Are you two dating now?"
Shirou paused, "I don't know. Maybe?"
Ayako gave a sigh before forcing a smile, "well, good luck. I guess I'll see you around, in class." And rushed off.
^Trackless^
Rin met Shirou right after school let out. She had been leaning against the wall, and as soon as he exited the school, she fell into step with him, "Ayako cornered me at lunch today. I informed her that we are not dating?" She pronounced. She had intended that statement to shut down any inappropriate thoughts that Shirou might have had, but it sounded wishy washy, even to her own ears.
Saber nodded her approval of Rin's comment as she joined the pair. The trio walked out to the outskirts of town where the church was located.
Even in the day, there was something just wrong with the place. It was a simple, plain building, but it radiated a palpable menace.
"Ok, Shirou, best behavior. I know you don't like Kirei, but don't kill him." Rin commanded as she led the way into the poorly lit interior. Even Rin disliked visiting her mentor here – it always felt a dank cave.
"Ah, good afternoon, Rin! What brings you to my humble church?" Kotomine Kirei greeted them as they walked in. He appeared to be quite cheerful, for some reason. Rin claimed that whenever Kirei was cheerful, it was a sure sign that he had been molesting small dogs. "And how is the Grail War going? Is it treating you well, hmm?"
"Actually, that's what we came to ask you," Rin replied. Shirou stood on guard next to her as Saber paced the pews. "How many Servants are left?"
"Why, Rin, you know I can't tell you that. You're going to have to find that out for yourself. You know that there's at least one left." Kirei turned to Saber, "So, what is your wish? Has it been worth the struggle? Or are you finding that it is all futile?" There was a manic edge to his humor, as if he wasn't fully in control of himself. Either something really good had happened to him recently, or something really awful. Or both.
Saber paused and considered, "My wish?" she frowned. She had had a purpose for participating in the Grail War. But she couldn't remember what it was. It had been something foolish. Now, She wasn't certain what she wanted. It was all muddled in her head. "Shirou?"
At this Kirei laughed out loud, "Oh, how petty. But quite understandable. Shirou is a remarkable individual. If word was to get out of his skill with projection magic, the clocktower would scoop him up. Hmm. Or, maybe, I'll just keep him myself."
Rin felt like ice formed on her spine 'He knows!'
At the same time, a sudden hot rage flashed through Saber at the corrupt priest's callous mention of taking her Shirou. She swung her hand to point at Kirei.
At the last moment, he noticed that her hand was held oddly, almost clenched.
'She's holding her invisible sword!' was his last thought. Kirei's body collapsed to the ground as his head rolled a few feet towards Rin.
"Saber, you can't kill the overseer!" Rin protested, belatedly. She was slightly in shock - the whole thing had happened so fast, without any provocation.
Shirou stepped towards Saber, "Saber, are you ok?"
Saber didn't reply, instead backhanding him out of the way as she leaped at Rin. The young magus barely dodged aside as the invisible sword bit deep into the pew next to where she had been standing.
Shirou created Kanshou and Bakuya and leaped to Rin's defense, "Saber, stop. This isn't normal!"
Saber barely looked as she swept her sword back at him, as if to knock away an annoying insect. Shirou blocked, but didn't try to retaliate, instead moving to place himself between Saber and Rin.
Rin staggered to her feet in horror. The way Saber was attacking, it was just a matter of time before Saber killed Shirou. Rin glanced down at her command seals. They represented her goal since she was a child. She had worked to be the best magus she could be. The best magus of her generation. And winning the Holy Grail war would prove that - that she was the best, that she always succeeded. She looked up as Shirou barely deflected another attack from Saber.
But she realized that Shirou was more important than all of that. "Saber, return to the Throne of Heroes!" a command seal faded, but not completely. Saber paused as the command hit her, but then continued her attacks.
"The command seals aren't working!"
Saber was furious. How dare these vermin stand in her way. There was always somebody blocking her from doing what she wanted, trapping her in a joyless, pain filled existence. They were like bugs, everywhere, biting. She wold crush them all! And then she would take Shirou. That would put a stop to the pain.
"Shirou, I order you to stop fighting me," Saber roared.
Shirou leaped out of the way of another of Saber's wild attacks, coming down next to Rin. He had just gotten back into a fighting stance when one of the stained glass windows burst inwards and Lancer landed in front of Saber.
"We never finished our fight from before." He blocked an attack from Saber, "And while you may not be at your best right now, I think this will be our last opportunity." He retaliated, but Saber was too fast.
"Hey, boyo" He called out to Shirou as he fought, "My Master is dead, and I can only keep this up for a couple of minutes on my own. Make a contract with me and I'll keep you alive!"
Shirou was quivering with fatigue – he had over-reinforced himself, pushing himself to the breaking point yet again. Lancer side stepped another attack and jabbed at Saber. Without Lancer's help, they would surely die.
"How? I am not a Master."
"You have command seals. On your arm – they are faint because you never contracted a Servant, but they are there." Rin replied.
Shirou scowled. So it was possible. Illya had mentioned something about him having command seals, but he had assumed that they were non-functional (like most of his magic). But did he want to do this? This was Saber. His ally. His friend. How could he support another servant to attack her?
"Shirou, there is something wrong with Saber – something has taken control of her. Take Lancer's offer." Rin knew Shirou well enough to know why he was hesitating – he wanted to protect everybody.
Shirou nodded. "Lancer, I will take you as my Servant." A light flared through his arm. Apparently, Lancer also felt something, as he didn't quite block an attack, flinging himself out of the way at the last moment as Sabers sword trailed a line of red across his chest.
"Run!" Rin grabbed Shirou and dragged him out of the church.
"Why didn't you tell me? That I could summon a servant?" Shirou asked as he leaped over a low fence to cut though the graveyard.
"Because you couldn't – all the Servants had been summoned." Rin replied. She knew that Shirou would accept that argument. It was the safe answer. But it wasn't the complete answer - there were other ways to use Command Seals. She knew that, even if Shirou didn't. A moment later, she added, "I wanted to win."
Shirou didn't say anything, but Rin knew that the second answer (the real answer) had hurt him. He didn't understand, but now was not the time to explain.
"I think we are far enough away." They had crossed the cemetery and into the woods beyond. Shirou dropped into a ravine and held up his arm. "Lancer, come here." A command seal faded.
Lancer materialized, teleported instantly from his batten. "What? Why didn't you let me finish the battle? It was a fair fight."
"Saber's a friend. We need to rescue her from whatever has taken control of her." Rin explained.
Lancer considered this before breaking out into a smile, "And then we can have out duel. She really was a little off – I would hate to kill her when she isn't at her best."
Shirou opened his mouth to protest, but Rin quickly interrupted, "We need to get to the Greater Grail. If I can access that, I may be able to over-ride whatever has taken control of Saber."
As Shirou opened his mouth again, Lancer interrupted, "My previous master had me scout out the way to the Greater Gail. I will lead you."
Shirou took a breath, but Rin replied first, "Ok, let's go."
^Trackless^
Rin wasn't certain if she trusted this Lancer, but he was their only option. She followed him up the hillside leading to Ryuudo temple. 'We keep coming back here. Everything revolves around Ryuudo'. She glanced at Shirou. He was on guard, swords in each hand. He looked almost as dangerous as a Servant himself.
Rin wasn't certain what to think of all this. She hadn't wanted him here, but here he was. And of all of her companions, he was the most trustworthy. More than Saber. It was too bad she didn't get him as her Servant.
The path that Lancer led them up was barely visible, but as they drew near the top, they could see a tunnel leading into the hillside. They were almost there when both Rin and Shirou flinched as a pain flashed through them. Lancer, on the other hand. collapsed to the ground.
"What? Was that?"
Rin shook her head, trying to clear it. "Somebody just injected a spell into the lei line."
Shinji sniffed, "It smells like the high school did."
Rin's inhaled sharply in shock, and Shirou's eyes grew big as he realized what he had said. Lancer got to his feet, "either of you care to explain?"
"Somebody wants to vampire the entire population of Fuyuki. Like Caster, except where Caster was using a needle, this will be a fire-hose." Rin didn't wait for Shirou to add the obligatory, 'we need to stop them.' She palmed a gem and slipped into the cavern, letting the guys follow.
The passage was longer than expected – they had to walk a good ten minutes through a narrow, winding tunnel before the passageway opened up into a cavern awash with mana. The amount was so stupefying that Lancer looked drunk. In the middle of the cavern stood a glowing pillar. Each time light pulsed out from it, Lancer staggered.
Saber was having no such problems: She was standing facing them. Even in the golden light coming off of the pillar, she looked pale and washed out. Her face and hair were white, with black streaks under her eyes, and her dress looked worm eaten.
Behind her a wrinkled old man stood by the pillar, caressing it, as an inky something flowed out from him and into it. At his feet was a seething mass of worms that had spread out to fill half the room.
"That's the Greater Grail. Or the physical manifestation of it." Rin looked on in trepidation. Magically speaking, that thing was an avalanche. If you messed with it, you would get crushed.
Rin tore her gaze away from the grail, to her erstwhile Servant. "Saber, please..." she began.
"Rin. I have realized that you are not my true master. Shirou was the one destined for that role." Saber took a fighting stance.
Lancer charged her, "Hey, lassie, I'm your dance partner, remember?"
Saber deflects his attack. But her focus remained on reaching Rin. After a furious exchange of blows, she managed to force Lancer to step aside, pushing him towards the pillar and the worms.
As Lancer jumped back to avoid another of Saber's attacks, the worms began two wriggle up his feet. He leaped away, but the worms pulled themselves into a man high figure, coalescing into Shinji.
The worm-man grabbed at Lancer, moving faster than humanly possible.
Seeing Lancer thus occupied, Saber turned back towards Rin again, "You will release me." Before her master could reply, Saber dashed in, striking to decapitate the Tohsaka as the magus paused to reply.
Rin was momentarily caught flat footed, and as Saber attacked, she saw her death in the face of the angry white haired woman.
*Clank*
Rin was surprised as another sword blocked Saber's attack.
"I can't let you hurt her." Shirou took up a guard position, "I am sorry, Saber, but if you try, I will have to stop you."
Rin staggered back a few steps and drew back her arm to throw one of her gems at Saber when instinct made her throw herself to the ground as a surge of flying bugs blasted through the air above her head, where she had been moments before.
Rin rolled to her feet, facing the old man, "Zoukan, what is your role in all this?"
The old man smiled widely, "Heh." His voice was soft and rheumy. "Everything. I thought my plans were ruined when Shinji managed to get your sister killed, but he then kindly volunteered to replace her." Rin used Gandr to destroy a pair of acidic bugs that flew at her. Zoukan gestured towards where Lancer fought Shinji. Or a Shinji-shaped construct made from worms, "I don't think there is much left of the poor boy, but he has atoned nicely for his sins." He sent another swarm of flying vermin at Rin.
Shirou was barely holding his own. He was pushing himself to go faster, but he was barely able to block Saber's attacks, and he suspected that he was only managing that much because she was actively trying to avoid killing him. His lungs burned, and his muscles were tearing themselves apart from over-reinforcement.
Lancer ducked and faked a jab at Shinji. As his opponent tried to get out of the way, Lancer speared him through his heart. "And that is that." The servant let the dead man slide off of his spear.
And not a moment too soon – Lancer rushed over to assist Shirou as the redhead collapsed to the ground. "Now missy. That wasn't fair. He's just not at the same level as you and me, though I have to admit he put up a good fight. Better than the other sod." Lancer pressed his attack.
Saber's face curled into a silent snarl. She was tired. Why did all these insects keep getting in her way? She finally knew what she wanted. It was simple. It was attainable. But vermin kept blocking her way. She wold have to crush all all of them, and start afresh.
Rin used her Gandr spell to deflect Zoukan's bugs as she wove back and forth around the other Magus, spiraling inwards. She knew there was no way she could match his magic for long, but in hand to hand... he was an old man.
She ducked under a final bug blast and sprang forwards, punching at Zoukan's head.
Only for her hand to pass clear through the head as it momentarily turned to worms.
"Ew!" Rin was so grossed out that she barely dodged the counter attack. Several of the bugs latch onto her sweater and began to eat through it. Rin immediately pulled her sweater off and threw at it the bug mage, not at all discomfited in continuing the fight with nothing on her top half except a frilly bra.
Rin's reputation wasn't just based on just her theoretical skills at Magecraft. She was also a remarkably fast thinker. As Zoukan threw the sweater to the ground, she again darted in and threw a punch at him.
Lancer was having a blast. Saber was the best warrior he had ever fought, in this Grail War or in life. He crouched down to dash in for another attack when somebody grabbed him by the shoulders. He turned in surprise to see Shinji holding tight. Before he could push him off, Saber stepped in and brought Excalibur down to cleave through the both of them.
As Rin punched at Zoukan's chest, the decrepit mage again turned to worms, but this time, she had something in her hand – she released a gem as she pulled her hand back.
When Zoukan re-solidified, his expression became momentarily puzzled before his chest flashed orange, red, and then blew out in a gout of fire and worm guts.
At the same time, Saber dropped to her knees.
Rin looked around. The worms were all writhing as if cut in twain. Saber did not look much better.
"Shirou!" The red head staggered up, but he was completely spent. "Can you walk?" Rin glanced at Saber – the other woman looked stunned, but she still had the thousand yard stare and the washed out look as before: She had not returned to normal.
Shirou nodded, but it was clear that his body didn't agree with that assessment. Rin gave one last glance over at Saber as she put his arm over her shoulder and led him out of the cave. She wasn't certain if Saber's thrall would dissipate with the destruction of Zoukan, but she wasn't going to take a risk.
"What about Saber?" Shirou managed to rasp out as they approached the cave mouth.
"We get out of here first. If Saber is restored back to her usual self, she will rendezvous with us at home. Otherwise.."
Otherwise, Saber would confront them as they fled. Shirou managed to knock both Rin and himself to the ground as Saber leaped through the space they had occupied a moment before.
He staggered back up. Saber was now blocking the exit. "Drop your weapons, Shirou. There is no reason for you to fight me. I am your Servant."
Shirou glanced over at Rin, who had slammed hard into the cavern wall, her right arm was badly gouged and bleeding from the jagged rocks that made up the passageway walls.
"You're right." He let his two swords dissolve back into mana. "How do I do this?" he asked holding out his arm with the command seals.
But Saber had her own conception of what it meant to be Shirou's servant. She ignored the proffered arm, instead stepping in for a passionate kiss, wrapping an arm behind Shirou's head as she used the other to pull him close.
Rin recovered in time to look up and to see Shirou's arms slowly closed around her former Servant, locking the two of them in a passionate embrace. It was remarkably painful watching the man she might be attracted to making out with another woman, but she couldn't tear her eyes off of them either.
She knew that there was something wrong with Saber, but Shirou was enjoying the experience as well, as Saber gave a small moan.
Rin looked away, embarrassed, and started edging along the cavern wall, to see if she could sneak past the couple while they were occupied. She was almost even with them when Saber dissolved into a mist of sparkles in Shirou's arms.
Shirou held her until she was completely gone. "So.. Is that it?"
Rin took a moment, hugging her arms across her chest, before she replied "Yes. It's all over."