It took me all of five seconds to decide that Udina and the Council were idiots the first time I met them.
Hearing them in person instead of a on a screen, it took me about a tenth the time to decide to hold firm to that impression.
"This is an outrage! The Council would step in if the Geth attacked a Turian colony!" Udina ranted at the council's holograms. What an idiot. Albeit an idiot with Humanity's best interests at heart… for now. Doesn't make it easier to resist the urge to shoot him though.
"The turians don't have colonies on the borders of the Terminus, Ambassador." The salarian countered calmly. Kelly had described Mordin as a hamster on coffee. This guy is like a snail that's high on weed. He was somehow both passive, and offensive at the same time. Him, I don't think I want to shoot, so much as I want to just knock out so he shuts up.
The asari was just as bad, in a different way. "Humanity was well aware of the risks when you went into the Traverse." She wasn't as dismissive, but it was like she was trying to play to both sides. Huh, she might be the only good politician here. Emphasis on might.
"What about Saren? You can't just ignore a rogue Spectre. I demand action!" Udina shouted.
On the other hand, cue the Turian. "You don't get to make demands of the Council, Ambassador." If Garrus acts like there's a stick up his ass, this guy acts like he has a whole damn tree up his. He almost needs the bullet more than Udina. And a second bullet on top of that.
"Citadel security has investigated your charges against Saren. We'll discuss the findings at the hearing, not before." The asari said. Yep, there she goes, trying to keep everyone calm. Which would be fine and dandy if we didn't actually have something to be mad about. But since we do, she needs to just shut up.
Their holograms abruptly faded.
... Speak of the devil.
Udina turned to face us. "Captain Anderson. I see you've brought half your crew with you."
Then again, now we have to talk to this prick directly.
"Just the ground team from Eden Prime. In case you had any questions."
"I have the mission reports." He glanced at me. "And if they are accurate, I must express that letting a merc-"
"It's EX-MERCENARY." I said, eyes blazing as I barely kept myself from warping his head off. Seriously, how hard is that to remember!? I've said it a half dozen times now!
"Be that as it may, it won't exactly endear you to the Council."
"Right. Because I'm sure that little 'I demand action!' endeared you to them." I shot back, crossing my arms.
"At least you convinced the Council to give us an audience." Anderson said, cutting off his reply.
Shepard shot me a warning look as she stepped in front of me. Hey, I didn't shoot him, did I?... although I can't guarantee that I won't change my mind about doing so.
"They weren't happy about it." Udina said.
No shit Sherlock.
"Saren is their top agent. They don't like him being accused of treason."
"And at what point did they get the false idea I care?" I asked rhetorically.
"Bourne has a point." Shepard said, shooting me a stronger look. "Regardless of whether they like it, Saren's a threat to every human colony out there. He needs to be stopped." She shook her head. "We have to convince the Council!"
"It's not that easy Commander. Your main witness is a mer-" He stopped himself as my glowing eyes burned into him. "-ex- mercenary." He amended. "And you've done more than enough to jeopardize your candidacy for the Spectres. The mission on Eden Prime was a chance to prove you could get the job done. Instead, Nihlus ended up dead, and the beacon was destroyed."
I had to restrain myself from activating my Biotics and sending him into the presidium's lake.
"That's Saren's fault, not hers!" Anderson defended her.
"Not to mention the Geth that came out of nowhere." I added. "Which was also Saren's doing."
"Then we better hope the investigation turned up evidence to support our accusations. Otherwise the council might use this as an excuse to keep her out of the Spectres."
"Isn't it your job to keep them from doing that?" I said.
"Her recent association with you is another hindrance."
I glared at him. If it wasn't for the fact that killing you would mess up the timeline…
He was oblivious to my thoughts. "Come on captain, I want to discuss a few things before the hearing. Shepard, you and the others can meet us at the Citadel Tower, top level. I'll make sure you have clearance to get in."
He left, and I seriously had to talk myself out of at least grazing him with my pistol.
"And that's why I hate politicians." Ashley commented.
"At least we agree on something." I responded. "Honestly, I thought about throwing him out the window into the lake."
"Bourne…" Shepard glared at me.
"I said I thought about it, not that I did it. And admit it, you wanted to punch him too."
"Wanting to punch him is one thing. Throwing him into the lake is with Biotics is something completely different." Kaidan said.
"I know. The Biotics make it a lot more fun."
"That's the sort of thing that makes people so prejudiced against Biotics."
"Which is I actually do it in combat, and restrict them to my imagination otherwise." I grinned. "So, obviously those and the guns are out, but what about one of these?" I activated my biotics, and my blade flew from my boot into my hand.
"Put it away Bourne." Shepard said, her own hand dropping to her pistol.
"I'm just saying. If I threw it right, the hilt would hit him instead of the blade. I get satisfaction, and Udina doesn't get blood all over the nice clean floor."
She glared at me.
I knelt and slid it back into its sheath with a huff. "I was kidding." Mostly.
"Do me a favor. Don't."
"At least admit it would be satisfying."
"So would be punching you, and yet I've restrained myself from doing that."
"You slugged me back on the Normandy."
"History tends to repeat itself."
"So we can expect-" I cut myself off before I said something I'd regret. "-You to get a ton more head shots?"
She smiled slightly. "Smart move."
"But seriously, back in the training room, I picked your little sniper practice thing by mistake. I mean, really, two Krogan in that little time? At that range? With a sniper-"
"Jealous?"
I shot her a disbelieving look. "Shepard, you're good with a gun-"
"Good?"
"-But considering that I can literally move things with my mind, I don't think jealousy is going to be a problem for me." Which is good, considering i already have the memory loss, crushing responsibilities, and being mostly forced into this.
"Don't get a swelled head Bourne. You aren't the only biotic there is." Kaidan said.
"I'm not getting a swelled head, I'm trying to keep Shepard from getting one."
She crossed her arms. "You're the only one whose head is in danger of swelling. Because I'll raise a lump on it if you can't learn to keep your comments to yourself."
"Would you rather have someone that just mindlessly agrees with you?" I retorted. Seriously, I could've sworn I made her a paragon, who just happens to not want to deal with stupidit-… argh, I could just kick myself if my legs bent that way.
She turned away, and I thought she was hiding a smile. "Good point. Come one, let's get going. They'll be even less likely to listen to us if we're late."
She stepped through the door, and I rushed up so I was next to her. "You don't think they'll listen?"
"Sure they will. It's how much they'll believe that worries me."
"Have to agree with you on that one. If they do believe us, I'll eat my boots. But I'm not going to heat up the barbeque while I'm waiting."
"Then we just will have to find a way to make them believe us."
You have no idea. "I hope it'll be as easy as you make it sound." At least I know what's coming.
On second thought, I'm not so sure that's a good thing.
As we reached the top and stepped out of the elevator, we saw two Turians arguing.
One of them was in formal wear, and barely held any recognition for me, while the other's blue armor and visor was much more familiar to me.
"Saren's hiding something! Give me more time, stall them!" Though I knew it was him, Garrus still looked odd to me with his undamaged face and unblemished blue facial markings.
"Stall the Council? Don't be ridiculous! Your investigation is over Garrus." The other turian turned away in a clear dismissal.
Garrus looked dejectedly at the ground a moment before noticing us.
"Glad I'm not the only one with a grumpy boss." I muttered.
"Bourne, 'grumpy' is only a couple more bad jokes from turning into something a lot more painful."
"...To be honest, I didn't think you'd actually hear that one."
"I'm sorry, did I hear your name was Bourne?" Garrus broke in. "Jason Bourne?"
"That's him." Shepard confirmed.
"Which must make you Commander Shepard."
"You obviously know who we are, but I'm afraid I can't say the same for you."
"Garrus Vakarian. I was the officer in charge of the C-sec investigation into Saren."
"So, judging by his reaction, I'm guessing your boss wasn't giving you a raise?" I asked.
I couldn't read his face, but I was guessing it was a dirty look he sent my way.
"Ignore him, that's what I do." Shepard suggested.
"You don't ignore me, you usually just tell me to shut up, then follow it up with a threat."
"So-" She said to Garrus, actually ignoring me this time "- was that your boss, or is Bourne just acting like an idiot?"
"Both." He said, mandibles twitching into what was probably a smile. "That was Executor Palin, head of Citadel Security. He'll be presenting my findings on Saren to the Council."
"Doesn't sound like you're a fan of his." I commented.
"No, I'm not. I don't trust him, something about him rubs me the wrong way. But since he's a Spectre-"
"Everything he does is classified?"
"Exactly. I can't find any solid evidence."
"I'm not all that surprised. I'd expect him to have covered his tracks." I sighed. Well, try to look on the bright side. I don't have to eat my boots, which saves me the trouble of buying a new pair. "At least you tried. More than the Council is doing."
"Well, you were sort of an obstacle too."
"If you call me a Merc instead of Ex-merc, I can't be held responsible for my actions. I've heard that way too many times today."
"Either way, it isn't going to help your story."
"Do you believe it?" Shepard asked him.
"I've seen crazier things." He shook his head. "But it's a pretty shaky case."
"I know."
"Looks like the council's read for us Commander." Alenko cut in.
"Good luck Shepard, maybe they'll listen to you at least." He shot a look at me. "But if you want my advice Bourne-"
"I don't." I cut him off, brushing past him. It's either going to be to shut up, which I'm not going to do, not when this is so important, or it's going to just be some dumb joke or something.
"Do you want my advice Bourne?" Shepard asked as she caught up to me.
"Sure." Besides, I get the feeling it'll be an order if I don't listen.
"Make sure you have your safeties on. If earlier is any indication…"
"Yeah, good idea." I said, pistol flying into my hand. It took me less than half a minute to safety all of them. "You got yours on?"
"I think I'm in better control then you."
"But do you?"
"… Yes."
I just smiled in satisfaction. But it was a smile that quickly faded as I got my first sight of Saren.
Anderson hurried us in, the hearing already started. The Asari was saying something, but her words fell on deaf ears. All my attention was on the giant hologram of our enemy.
I'd only seen a few Turians up close, but Saren was clearly the most menacing of all that I'd seen. I'd never believed in such things before, but I could almost sense an aura of evil around him.
His face had no markings, and his eyes seemed to hold no light.
I had to fight to keep my powers from manifesting on instinct.
"An eye witness saw him kill Nihlus in cold blood!" Udina shouted angrily.
I refocused myself in time to hear the Salarian talk. "We've read the Eden Prime reports Ambassador. The testimony of one traumatized dockworker is hardly compelling proof. Neither is the word of a mercenary."
"Ex-mercenary." I growled under my breath.
"I resent these accusations. Nihlus was a fellow Spectre. And a friend." Seeing Saren was enough to convince me that he was dangerous. But his voice held a note of pure menace, pure evil.
I know these guys are idiots, but how can they not see that this guy is a psycho!?
"That just let you catch him off guard!" Anderson said angrily. At least one person still has his marbles.
"Captain Anderson. You always seem to be involved when humanity makes false charges against me." Saren said calmly. "But I must say, this is a new low. Using a merc-"
"Ex-mercenary! I swear to god, the next person to call me a mercenary…" I let the threat hang in the air.
"Yes, I can see why you wanted him on your side." His voice was dripping with sarcasm. "And that must be your protege standing next to him. The one that let the beacon get destroyed."
"Shifting the blame? Interesting tactic Saren." I commented. Boom, hit you with your own line before you can even use it.
"I fail to see how that is 'shifting the blame' as you call it. It seems more like you might be doing so." He turned to the Council. "If it was not Shepard, which I feel is doubtful, then it seems that this 'ex-mercenary' would be the most likely suspect in her place."
Ok, try to look on the brightside. At least he got the 'ex' part right.
"Such actions are what I'd expect… from a human."
"Wait a minute, how'd you even know about the Beacon in the first place? That was top-secret info!" Which, I'm hoping you won't turn around on me.
"With Nihlus' passing, his files were passed to me. I was unimpressed."
"Funny, I was about to say the same thing about your Geth."
"We still have yet to see proof that Saren was involved." The Turian reminded me.
I crossed my arms. "So, let me see if I have this straight. The dockworker saw someone kill Nihlus, can we agree on that?"
"That much I will believe."
"He happened to see a Turian." I motioned to Saren. "When asked if he could describe him, he said he hadn't seen many Turians, so he couldn't really describe him."
"Then how-"
"BUT, he did specifically mention that the Turian in question had an artificial arm, and no clan markings on his face. Bit of a coincidence that both of these things just happen to apply to Saren."
"And the name." Shepard cut in. "How could he have just come up with Saren's name randomly?"
Saren seemed to be rolling his eyes, or the turian equivalent. "It would be quite a coincidence. If it were true."
"You calling me a liar?" I said, eyes blazing as my biotics were barely held back.
I was severely annoyed that Saren didn't even flinch. "Perhaps. You may just be misguided." He looked down at the Council. "Perhaps that explosion damaged their memories."
That part of me that didn't want to kill Saren, a very small part of me, was pretty impressed that he could play it off like that.
"Saren despises Humanity! That's why he attacked Eden Prime!" Shepard said angrily. But she shot me a warning look as she did so. If looks could kill, her look would be like a tactical nuke.
Yet I thought at least part of it was directed at Saren. She was a ticked off with him as me, if not more so. Her experience just left her better at controlling herself.
I kept my face expressionless, and tried to push down my anger.
"Your species needs to learn its place. You aren't ready to join the Council. Shepard isn't even read to join the Spectres!"
I saw Udina open his mouth, and I spoke up before he could. "I don't think it's your job to decide."
"Bourne is correct. Shepard's admission into the Spectres is not the purpose of this meeting." The asari agreed.
"This meeting has no purpose. The humans are wasting your time, and mine as well."
"What's the matter, we keeping you from a meeting with your pet Geth?" I said, eyes glowing as bright as fireworks.
"Saren's hiding behind his position as a Spectre. You need to open your eyes!" Shepard stated angrily. She turned her head to glare at me, her purple eyes glowing faintly. But she was surprised to find my own twin stars meeting her gaze calmly.
I turned my attention back to Saren. I was dimly aware of Ashley and Kaidan looking at me in awe. Ashley looked like she agreed with me, but Alenko clearly thought I was nuts.
Sorry to disappoint there Kaidan. But I just might be the sanest one here. Which is really disturbing when it's put like that.
The salarian shook his head. "What we need is evidence. We've seen none so far."
Ok, Shepard told me to turn on the safeties, but she said nothing about the knives.
"There is still one outstanding issue: The vision that both Chief Bourne and Commander Shepard had. It may have been triggered by the beacon."
May have been? Thanks Anderson, way to undermine the whole thing.
"Are we allowing dreams into evidence now?" Saren asked rhetorically, sure of the answer. "How can I defend myself against this kind of testimony?"
"So we're just ignoring the fact that we both saw the exact same thing?" I said.
"I agree with Saren." The turian said. "Our judgement must be based on facts and evidence, not wild imaginings and reckless speculation."
Ok, maybe I can make an argument about the knives being left out.
"Do you have anything else to add?" The salarian asked us both.
"You made your decision, I won't waste my breath." Shepard and I said almost exactly at the same time. We looked at each other, but this time it wasn't a glare she shot me. Probably because she said literally the same thing.
"The Council has found no evidence of any connection-" I tuned the Asari out, knowing that her words would just piss me off. I focused all my attention on glaring at Saren.
"I'm glad to see justice was served." Saren glared back mockingly. But it also seemed like he was approving or something. I was too mad to try figuring it out.
"This meeting is adjourned." The Asari said.
I sighed as the Council disappeared. "You think it'd make me feel better if I said that could've gone worse?"
"I think it could've." Shepard responded. "Thanks for keeping the weapons put away."
"It got pretty tempting, I won't lie. Once or twice-"
"Why don't you just leave it at 'you're welcome'?"
"Yeah, that might be for the best."
Well, I guess that'll do it for this chapter.
Although, I do want to once again recommend checking out
Starspike7's story, Users. It's a bit of a crack fic in some places, but it's a pretty good read overall, and it doesn't have anything close to the audience it really deserves.
See you guys monday- unless I kick it into gear with rewriting chapters and decide to post any extra one. Not super likely, but you never know.