A/N It has been a while... I am sorry about that. This chapter took a lot out of me, and it turned out to be quite emotional. Trying to think of people when they learn of someone they love having cancer was quite difficult. It is as if someone signs your death warrant when you hear of it. Yeah people do survive, but it changes you. Completely. It changes the people around you and their reaction to you and the things that you do. It's those emotions that I had to face, that I had to envelope to bring this story to life. Dreamig Egypt thanks for letting me know I was on the right path. I do hope that others feel the same way, I do hope that you guys will read this with an open mind and let me know if I got it right.
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Stacy

Rolling over, I kick the blankets away from my body. I feel clammy. Cold. Breathing in deeply, my muscles around my abdomen scream at the expansion. I had been up most of the night being violently ill. Sicker than I had ever been in my life. I can only assume that it would be like having the worst kind of food poisoning. The worst part? It's only the beginning.

Very gingerly I move to sit. Every bone in my body aching. Shivering I clear my throat and cringe at the pain from it's rawness. "Glen." I try to call, but it comes out sounding low and squeaky. I know that Glen had been up with me, helping me through the night. He had changed my sheets at least a dozen times, but I need him. I need something for the pain.

Listening intently, I can hear voices downstairs. So, figuring that Glen is watching TV and can't hear me, I crawl from the bed and move slowly to the door and pull it open. "Glen." I try again and wait for a response. Again he couldn't have heard me, but I was trying.

Walking toward the stairs I take them slowly, one at a time. My previous treatments had never made me feel this bad, and I hate what it is doing to me. At the bottom of the stairs I make my way to the living room and see Glen looking in the direction of the TV. Shuffling forward, his face finally turns toward me and I see him look at me with a worried expression. Running a hand over my disheveled thinning hair, I can't help but wonder if I look as bad as I feel.

"Chey…" He starts jumping up from the couch to come to me.

Placing a hand on his chest I keep him from ushering me back toward the stairs. Shaking my head, I grasp his hand and make him look at me. "I need my meds." I whisper to him.

Checking his watch his eyes grow wide as if he realizes that I was supposed to have taken them a while ago. His hand comes to my elbow and he pulls me toward the stairs again. "Why don't we get you back upstairs…."

"Chey?"

Glancing up at Glen, my insides drop. Shaking my head, I don't want to think of the voice that came from behind him. I didn't want to think that he had broken my trust and brought someone into the house after everything he had done and witnessed. Especially if it was the person I thought it was. No, that I knew it was.

Pushing him aside weakly, I take in Mark's face. He is looking me over as if I am a stranger. His eyes taking me in from head to toe. I can see the hurt and the anger brewing behind those eyes. Eyes that had held me captive so many times. Eyes that used to look at me as if I was the only person in the room. Eyes that now held disgust and remorse.

Shaking his head, his body leans against the door frame he's standing in, a deep sigh breaking from his parted lips. His eyes cast to my feet and stay there. His face turning red as his hands come up to cover his mouth as if he's praying.

Looking up at Glen, I look to him for strength. I find none. He looks beaten. At that point I know he hadn't planned for me to come down, he fought to keep me away from seeing his guest. The tension of the room surrounds me like a heavy fog. Weighing my sore body down more than it already was.

"I'm sorry…" Glen whispers to me lightly. "I tried to get him to go."

Shaking my head, I step forward and come to stand in front of Mark. "Did you see what you came to see?" I ask him, my voice cracking from emotion as well as stress.

Lifting his head I can see the unshed tears pooling in his eyes. "Why?" He asks me simply, the word coming out shakily as a few tears drop from his lashes.

"What what? Why did I walk away? Why did I push you from my life? Why did I get cancer?" I ask him the stream of questions without backing down from him. I feel bad to see his tears, but he brought them onto himself. He wasn't supposed to be here. "You should have stayed away."

"Cancer?" He asks, his deep green eyes moving from my face to Glen's. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It isn't my place, Mark." Glen answers quickly. "I made a promise to her and to Marti…"

Slamming his hand against the wall, Mark moves forward glaring at the other large man in the entry way. "You have been my best friend for years and you… you can't tell me that the woman I love more than life itself, left me because she's sick?" He growled. "I would think that would be something that you WOULD tell me!"

Holding his hands out in front of him in defeat, Glen shook his head and turned and left Mark and I standing in the room alone. Turning to Mark, I put my finger in his chest. "It was my decision… Not his. He has fought me tooth and nail to tell you." I inform him. "Damn you." I whisper feeling myself grow angry that he was there, and that he was causing so much emotion inside of me. He has always been the one person who could make me happy and angry at the same time. Made me want to run to him and hug him as well as slap the taste out of his mouth.

"NO! Damn YOU!" He spat in my face. "You agreed to marry me… you said you wanted to grow old with me…"

"That was before I knew!" I cry, tears falling from my eyes. "DO you think I want this? I wanted to spend my life with you… I wanted… I want to be able to keep that promise to you… You have NO idea what this has done to me…"

"You have NO idea what it has done to me, princess… I went from being on top of the world and having everything I've ever needed to be complete… to losing it all in one morning…"

Reaching up I slap him across the face. Hard. Harder than I thought I had strength for. "I found out that morning!" I scream at him and turn my back to him. "The first thing I thought of when the doctor told me that the tests were positive for cancer was you, and my promise to you… then it was the fact that you were going to lose yet someone else in your life. I thought I would save you from the disappointment and walk away so that you could remember me for the woman I was. I wanted to save you from seeing me like I am now. I didn't want to spend the last of my days with you being sick and unable to go to the bathroom by myself. I didn't want to watch you age because of the stress that this illness can cause…" Turning back to him, his eyes are searching my face. "I walked away that day, BECAUSE I love you. I shut you out because I didn't want you to have to watch me die."

Dropping to my knees, I burry my face in my hands and let go of the pain of saying it out-loud. Admitting that the main reason I wanted everyone at such a distance because of not wanting them to watch me die. Why can't everyone understand that? Don't they see that I am trying to protect them. That because of my love for them, I want them to know me and remember me as being happy and full of life… not broken and on my death bed.

"Oh God, darlin'…" Mark breaths, pulling me into the security of his arms.

Clutching onto his shirt, I hold on for dear life. For sanity. If he could only ever forgive me, I would take it all back. In the past few months I had prayed for him to come. For him to not give up on me, and for once I know that my prayers have been answered. "I'm… sorry." I sob into his chest.

I hear him moan as he holds me tighter against him. "No, baby girl… " He whispers against the side of my face. "I'm the one that is sorry."

Suddenly he lifts my body, pillowing me against his strong chest, as he carries me up the stairs. I can hear a second set of feet pounding up the wooden steps behind him. Making his way into my room, he lays me gently on the bed and smoothes my thinning hair away from my face.

Glen's face appears next to him and he holds up a glass of water and he shows me the pills he carries in his large hand. Coming up to my elbows I take the glass and the pills and swallow both down fairly quickly. Patting Mark on the shoulder, Glen leaves the room quickly and shuts the door behind him.

"I need to talk to him." Mark sighs when the door closes.

"At least stay with me until I fall asleep?" I ask, sliding over in the bed to make room for him.

"I can do that." He smiles, climbing in next to me. "I don't think I'll be leaving any time soon… However there is a lot we need to talk about."

Reaching out I grasp his hand and play with his thick fingers. "What do you want to know?" I ask him softly. I can't help but enjoy having him next to me. I don't care about the time spent apart or the tension that still lingers. Just the fact that he's finally here seems to be enough for me for now.

Rolling to his side, he smiles softly at our touching hands, then he brings his eyes to mine. "What kind of cancer do you have?"

"I'm in the second stages of Ovarian Cancer." I answer, rolling away from him. I don't want to see his face. I don't want to see his reaction.

"Please…" His deep gravely voice asks, his finger coming to my chin and making me look at him. "Don't do that. Please don't shut me out anymore."

"Have you ever thought of having any more kids?" Yeah it's out of left field and the look on his face tells me that he didn't understand what I was asking.

"I don't know, darlin'…" He answers honestly. "You and I've never talked about it. It hasn't been something that I thought about. We had each other and that was enough for me…maybe one day we might be able to."

"I can't…" I blurt turning my face away from him yet again. "They had to do a total hysterectomy. I'll never be able to carry a child, even if I get better."

"You mean when you get better." He corrects me. "Chey, I don't want you to think like that. You need to stay positive. We'll make sure that you get the best care money can buy. I'm not letting you go again darlin'."

"I don't… I don't think you should stay, Mark."

"What? Why?" He asks sitting upright and looking down at me.

Facing him, I let out a heavy sigh. "Look at me, Mark… I mean, take a good look."

"I see you… you are sick and I'm gonna be here for you from here on out…"

"No… Mark, I don't think you should. You still have a healthy life. You should try to find someone else to love. Someone that can keep their promises to you."

Reaching out, Mark grasps the thin sliver chain around my neck and pulls it from the top of my night gown. The dainty engagement ring he had given me emerging from the material and swinging freely from the necklace. "I do believe you are keeping a part of your promise." His voice is soft as he stares at the ring. "It may take time, and it may be a battle, but you can keep the rest of those promises too."

"I wish you could understand how I feel on the inside. My terror at knowing that you are willing to sacrifice your life to sit around and wait for mine… especially when it isn't guaranteed. I don't want you to do that. I can't let you do that."

"What about what I feel on the inside? How about the fear I feel at thinking that there is a possibility that you will slip away in the night and I won't be able to tell you how much I love you. That you will be laying alone in a bed with no one around you to make you feel safe." Standing from the bed, Mark began to pace. Fresh tears falling from his eyes. "I don't want to be angry with you if it comes to that… and if you won't let me be here I know that is what will happen. I'll feel as though everything we've shared meant nothing.

"Three years, Cheyenne… three years of having this woman in my life. Day in and day out she was there. I'd wake up and touch her face thinking that… in that moment I'd never be able to love her more… The next day I would realize I was wrong, that I did love her more. That with each passing day my life became more about YOU than it did about me. For the first time I was not being selfish. In all my years, something meant more to me… than me."

Sitting up on the bed, I wipe at the tears flowing down my face. Everything he said struck home. Right to the heart. He had never opened up to me like this before. Even during his proposal, when he had been down on one knee swearing he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, he never used these words. He never gave me this much power. This much thought. At least I didn't think he did. "Even now?" I ask, now regretting what I had done.

"Especially now…" He tells me moving to kneel beside the bed. Taking up my hand he brings his other hand up to my face. "I'm angry… sure, but I've learned in the past few years that some things can be fixed. That love can heal all wounds."

Looking at him, I try and find my Mark… The Mark I had left sleeping in the hotel the morning I had left. My man that believed in being strong above all else and would refuse to show all of this to me. Would never in a million say these things to me. This guy before me looks a lot like the man I had fallen in love with, but he wasn't talking like the man that I knew.

"What's wrong?"

Chuckling, I bring a hand up to my head. "Who are you?"