Aaron was in the old Hamilsquad group chat, just scrolling through. He hadn't been in there since Peggy left. And since Alex had asked him to go to Disney World in John's absence-okay, John was dead. But Aaron still wanted to remember this good old days. The days when John was alive. The days before Sally and Martha's worlds got turned upside down. The days when Peggy and Laf were together and happy. The days before all Aaron could think about was shooting Alex.
The better days were back when Alex could walk. And run. And jump. And skateboard. Everything was different now. It was scary how much could change in a year and a half.
"Hey, Aaron Burr, Sir!" Alex said as Aaron poked his head around the door. "Come on in. It's your dorm too, you know."
"I do know." Aaron said. "Um. I got us a dog!" He pushed the door fully open to show himself standing there with a small white puppy in his arms.
"Dogs aren't allowed in dorms, Aaron, you know this!" Alex said. He stood up and took a few steps towards Aaron.
"His name is Philip." Aaron said. "The breeder was attached to the pups. Anyway, I thought you might like him."
"Well, he is an adorable little dog, yes he is, yes he is." Alex said, slipping onto baby talk when he looked down at the dog.
"I know Philip isn't exactly a dog's name and you can change it if you want." Aaron said.
"Nah, Philip is fine." Alex said.
"And I know dogs are illegal here-"
"It's only illegal if you tell." Alex said and Aaron shut the door. "You don't tell, it's not illegal." Alex shrugged.
"But the dorm security and inspectors-" Aaron protested. He put the little dog down.
"So?" Alex shrugged. "Aaron, he's a Maltese."
Aaron shrugged. "I don't know what a fucking Maltese is-"
"Language! There's a baby present!" Alex said.
"That's a dog, Hamilton. Not a baby."
"He's a puppy. A baby dog."
Aaron sighed loudly.
"All you need to know is that Maltese dogs hardly shed, don't need much exercise, they're small, they're generally smart, have a lifespan of around fifteen years and are apparently a good dog breed for first time owners."
"You do have puppy training pads, don't you?" Alex asked.
"I forgot." Aaron admitted.
Alex sighed. "I guess I'll go to the store and get them then." He opened the front door ajar.
"And when you're in the store, get me a Coke." Aaron said.
Alex groaned and turned around. "Can I get you anything else, your majesty?" He asked sarcastically.
"Shut up and get me my Coke." Aaron said.
"You should like a junkie, you know-"
"Hamilton!"
"Jesus, Burr. I'm going, I'm going." Alex opened the door further and walked through it, half slamming the door behind him.
Aaron looked down at the little dog on the floor. Okay. He had to admit that even though he didn't know the dog's breed, the dog was actually pretty cute.
Aaron sighed. Philip did not deserve the way he went out.
"Aaron, are you okay?" Theo asked.
"I was just... thinking." Aaron replied.
"Just thinking or just thinking?" Theo asked.
"Thinking." Aaron said. He put his phone down on the coffee table.
"Don't think too hard." Theo said. "Unless you're thinking of a way to pay the rent."
Hamilsquad
wait4it: Hey.
hunkules: was not expecting to get a notification from this chat. What gives, Burr?
wait4it: I was just thinking.
ActualAngel: about what?
wait4it: That everything was easier back in these days;
trtlfckr666: what's this I see about Alex on Twitter?
wait4it: Alexander Hamilton, you've gone viral!
theoboostrump: Lin-Manuel Miranda's been tweeting about you!
ahammyham: Shut the fuck up!
ahammyham: Anyone who mentions Lin-Manuel Miranda's stupid name again is uninvited to Hamilween!
ActualAngel: Holy crap, I remember that. That was during 'Hamilween' in 2016. I put a picture of Alex looking like Lin-Manuel Miranda on Twitter and Lin retweeted it making the whole thing go viral.
wait4it: I wish those days were back.
hunkules: it WAS a lot different back then. But good has happened this past year too.
wait4it: All I see is bad. Peggy's disappeared because her and Laf's baby died, I shot and almost killed Alex, who's confined to a wheelchair now, Martha and Sally are secret sisters because Martha's dad had an affair-oh and John is dead. I can go on. Where's the good?
hunkules: Your daughter, Theodosia, was born healthy. I'm engaged to be married. Alex and Eliza are expecting. One of Laf and Peggy's babies died, but the other's alive and healthy, being raised by her mother. Yeah, Martha's dad had an affair, but she was an only child and now she has six siblings, including one who was her friend. She's not alone in this. Alex's friend Ned is with us. Laf got shot, but the bullet could have hit the femoral artery and they could have died. They didn't. Alex got shot and he did die a few times, but he was always brought back and now he's still with us. And Samuel Seabury and Charles Lee are trying not to be douchebags any more. They actually don't suck to be around now.
ActualAngel: Yeah. Hercules is right. There's a lot of good if you look for it.
wait4it: I'd give anything to go back to 2016 though. Obama was still president, the Doomsday Clock wasn't at 2 minutes to midnight and people had more rights and healthcare.
hunkules: Got me there.
ActualAngel: watch?v=aGCdLKXNF3w
hunkules: Nah. More like this:
hunkules: watch?v=qfZVu0alU0I
ActualAngel: I take your Eve of Destruction and raise you this.
ActualAngel: watch?v=EfK-WX2pa8c
hunkules: no way. If that was an end of the world song, it wouldn't be on movies whenever the characters go to London.
ActualAngel: what you forget is that Reagan used Born in the USA in his campaign.
wait4it: watch?v=DtVBCG6ThDk
ActualAngel: okay. Aaron wins.
hunkules: It's not about Dotards, but it'll do.
hunkules: watch?v=CAlvBMwN_7U
ActualAngel: What would a song about dotards even sound like anyway?
hunkules: Atom bombs exploding.
wait4it: I like how we pretend we'll even survive a nuclear war.
hunkules: eh. We might. Who knows. There might not be one.
ActualAngel: I prefer that last option-no nuclear war.
hunkules: hm. Starting to think Aaron's right about 2016. It was a lot better than now. At least we didn't have the threat of annihilation looming over us like a great black cloud. And John was alive. And Alex... we'd have to live through all that again though. So maybe it's just best to life for now.
ActualAngel: watch?v=XJdcROXeaWc
hunkules: Donald Trump! Is only for now...
ActualAngel: Life may be scary but it's only temporary
wait4it: Alex being in a wheelchair isn't temporary. John's death isn't temporary.
hunkules: Alabanza watch?v=chfdFA_KQrI
hunkules: I'll Cover You Reprise watch?v=Fi9srqFqCFo
hunkules: For Good watch?v=TZ0pXUb5jVU
hunkules: Laf's song or Empty Chairs at Empty Tables watch?v=eqqSa9n2ZQk
ActualAngel: Alright stop now, Hercules, we get it.
hunkules: the next one would have been It's Quiet Right Now from Mercy.
ActualAngel: how do you know all these songs?
hunkules: Well, Mercy's big and everyone keeps going on about it. And the others, I just googled sad musical songs.
wait4it: why would Empty Chairs at Empty Tables be Laf's song?
hunkules: Les Mis is French. Laf is French.
wait4it: I suppose it fits too. In some disturbing sort of way. I mean, Alex nearly died. John did die. Peggy is gone.
ActualAngel: Do you remember when Alex was shot? I do;
elizaluvspuppies: I know it was an accident A-A-Ron. I'm not angry. You should come around.
ActualAngel: Oh, Aaron, I'm not angry either. I know you and Alex were close. You were roommates. I can't imagine what you must be feeling.
marialewis: Hang on, Aaron, I'll be at your dorm soon.
wait4it: Actuallu I'm in the hospital
trtlfckr666: He is.
ActualAngel: What did you do to yourself?
theoboostrump: He almost drank himself to death because he felt so bad for shooting Alex.
marialewis: oh baby Burr. Lay off the alcohol. I'm coming to the hospital.
hunkules: Don't remind me, Angelica.
Hercules lay down his phone. He remembered clearly when Alex was shot. He desperately didn't want to. But he did.
It was no longer the immediate aftermath of Alex's shooting, so the family room wasn't filled with Alex's friends and family wanting to hear about his condition. Instead, it was usually just Hercules, John, Eliza and Hercules' parents; Hugh and Sarah. However, nobody else had arrived yet so Hercules and John were the only ones there.
"Who goes first?" John asked. "One of us has to be there with Alex."
"You should be with him. You're his boyfriend." Hercules said. "But if you're gonna flip out again, like you did with Aaron, I'd rather you not be there. I'll go instead."
"We could both go." John suggested.
"But you don't want to do that, do you?" Hercules asked. He sighed. "I know. It's hard. It's hard seeing Alex like that."
"It's very hard." John nodded.
"I threw up when I first saw him." Hercules said.
"I know you did." John said. "And I couldn't help but look at just Alex's hand."
"Do you want me to go first?" Hercules asked. "You need a break. Sleep here or something, man. You look like you haven't slept in months."
"I feel it too." John sighed.
"I'll go then." Hercules stood up. He walked over to the door and quickly looked back over his shoulder at John before pressing forward.
As he had done before, Hercules disinfected himself. He no longer had to wear a plastic apron or surgical gloves, like he was some kind of freaky dentist. And he appreciated that.
With the help of a nurse, Hercules entered the ICU to see Alex. He walked until he got to Alex's bed. And there he was. Lying there on his side, still supported by pillows. The nurses probably moved him to that position so he didn't get bedsores. That would really screw his chances of survival up.
"Hey, Alex." Hercules greeted. He sat down in the uncomfortable hospital chair next to Alex's bed. He couldn't see Alex all that well. There were too many machines. He stood up again and briefly examined the blood bag.
"It's just me right now. Hercules." He turned his attention to Alex's face. There was that feeling again-nausea.
Hercules brushed his fingers in Alex's short hair, careful to avoid any of the wires attached to the heart monitor. And the other machines that he had no idea what they did-but they were keeping Alex alive.
"You know, you're looking like hell." Hercules said. "Come back to us. John's worried. Eliza's worried. Even Jefferson's worried. All Aaron does is stare ahead. Either that or drink. Or cry about shooting you. You have to get off that," he pointed to the breathing tube, "and tell Aaron that it wasn't his fault."
Hercules didn't get a reply.
"You know, they're saying you're going to be paralysed. That the bullet lodged in your spine." Hercules said. He watched Alex's chest rise and fall, in sync with the sound of the hissing ventilator, forcing air into his lungs every few seconds.
The sheer amount of medical tape on Alex's face was disgusting. Then again, it was all over the rest of him too, keeping all the various tubes in place. The breathing tube that had to be suctioned and caused Alex distress. It was taped to his face. The feeding tube taped in his nose-okay, Hercules had seen Alex on one of these before, back when he had anorexia. It didn't make it any easier seeing it this time. Then there was the drain in his abdomen, from the gunshot wound. Another in his chest from the chest drain-that was after his lung collapsed in an operation. The catheter.
Alex's hand and arms were bruised where the IVs were in his veins. The blood pressure cuff was still on his arm; that was probably important, right? Alex had been shot after all. The doctors were probably looking out for signs of an infection. They did have Alex heavily sedated after all. And how many times had his heart stopped?
He looked really bloated, but that was probably because of all the medication that he was on-painkillers, antibiotics, sedatives and barbiturates. Then there was the saline and the blood-how many veins were they using? How many veins could they use? Evidently they were going for them all.
If it hadn't already dawned on Hercules how very, very sick Alex actually was, it sure had now.
"But you don't know that yet, do you?" Hercules continued. "It's okay. Nothing's changed. We all still love you very much."
The beeping of the monitors, the alarms they made to alert nurses, the constant intermittent hissing of the ventilator-they didn't make Hercules anxious any more. He knew that most of the time, when an alarm went off, it was because Alex's antibiotic IV had run out and needed to be replaced, rather than Alex's heart had stopped. But it didn't mean he worried for Alex any less. He was still in mortal danger. He had to be, to still be hooked up to all them machines.
Hercules bent down and careful not to disturb any of the equipment, hugged Alex. "Hey. I brought Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. How 'bout I read it for you?"
Still no response. Not that Hercules was expecting any.
"I always like it when Harry Potter is read." The nurse said. "Each patient's loved one does it differently. I hope you don't mind if I listen in."
"Not at all, Kate." Hercules said. He sighed and sat down on the uncomfortable plastic chair and took the Harry Potter book out of his coat pocket. "Alright. Where were we?" He asked. "Ok yeah. Chapter five."
Hercules picked his phone back up and called a number.
"Go for Ham."
"Alex."
"Hey, Herc. What's up? Hey-do you know what's up with the old Hamilsquad chat?"
"Why?" Hercules asked.
"Because you've been posting in it."
"I... just wanted to know you were okay."
"You know I am, Herc." Alex said. "Well, I could have been flattened by a truck since we last talked. But I haven't. I'm fine."
"You..." Hercules inhaled sharply. "Do you remember anything about being in a coma?"
"Where has this come from?" Alex asked. "Yes. I remember... some things."
"What do you remember?" Hercules asked.
"Morphine induced hallucinations mostly." Alex replied. "I remember I thought that I'd been abducted by aliens and they were probing me. And you were there reading Harry Potter to the aliens. It was all weird. I have psychotherapy for that now. You know though some people don't remember anything. Like blinking.
"That sounds better."
"Yeah, I'm almost jealous." Alex said. "Well, if that's all you want to know-"
"Bye, Alex."
"Yeah, bye."
A/N: Hey! So I wanted to take a break from the main story for a bit and do this. It doesn't serve the current story, but it works to fill in some holes in earlier stories.
I chose Philip the dog to be a Maltese because Maltese dogs are great dogs for first time owners, but they have wicked separation anxiety and bark, which is why Eacker shot him between the eyes and killed him.
Yes, those two passages in the chat, I looked trough my old stories for them. The first one Aaron 'posted' was from Hamilween. The second one Angelica 'posted' was from Stay Alive, That Would Be Enough. If you look through them and wonder why some of their usernames are different, the characters are changed their usernames later in the story. It would reflect if they were looking back in their chat, rather than if we were.
Empty Chairs at Empty Tables would be Laf's song. Of all his American revolutions friends, he was the last surviving one. You only have to look at the musical to see how true it is-Laurens first, then Washington, then Hamilton and then Mulligan. Leaving only Lafayette left. You wanna make the Hamilton musical sadder? After Eliza tells her story, you listen to Empty Chairs at Empty Tables and imagine Lafayette is singing that at Fraunces Tavern later in his life. Yeah.
Hercules' flashback is actually a deleted scene from Stay Alive, That Would Be Enough. I cut it because it didn't seem to flow with the rest of the story, but I kept it, hoping I would find some use for it. I hope you like it as much as I do.
Some coma patients have hallucinations that they've been kidnapped by aliens or by spies or something and others remember nothing.
Next chapter, we check in on Kitty! Will it be good? Will it be bad? Who knows.