Chapter 10: Maybe Not

Johann Mauler sat in his car and scanned the papers that he was resting against the steering wheel. His boss had excellent informants and resources, and so it had taken little time to learn about Ethan Vanderbilt and his new partner, Claire Redfield. Johann and Lance were both surprised by the obscure background of Claire Redfield. She survived the Raccoon City incident, but she had been a student before that. There was no incriminating evidence on her and certainly no signs of operative activities. For the most part, she was a mystery, especially since her location was unaccounted for during long stretches of time.

And why was one of Wesker's lackeys working for an organization like Terrasave? The group had its small victories, but it was hardly a large enough threat to draw Wesker's attention—or rather, it hadn't been a large threat until now. Stolen research was no laughing matter. Maybe Wesker was trying to cover his tracks, but Ethan was obviously inexperienced and had left identification. What the hell was going on here?

It didn't matter. None of it mattered, because Johann was going to clean up this mess before it got any larger. Tracking Ethan's credit card was incredibly easy, and now Johann was sitting alongside of the highway that the two thieves were driving on, waiting for the license plate number that he sought to pass. He didn't need to wait long.

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Claire was relaxed behind the steering wheel, and Ethan admired how calm she was able to act given their circumstances. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she had those sunglasses on alongside of her khaki shorts and pink t-shirt. He had been watching her for the last few days, and closely at that, even when she didn't think that he was looking. She interested him, to say the least.

"Claire?"

"Yeah?"

"I've come to some conclusions, but don't shoot me if I'm totally off." Claire glanced at Ethan with an amused smile that invited him to continue. "Pink is your favorite color." Claire's smile widened, and Ethan congratulated himself on entertaining her. "You dislike having your hair down, although I should tell you that you would look lovely without the ponytail."

"Ethan," Claire lightly laughed.

"No, it's true," he protested. "And, you have amazing energy. You never seem tired, but sometimes you get lost in your own head, like a few minutes ago."

"You're observational skills amaze me," Claire joked. Ethan's face adopted a more somber tone as he continued to look at her comfortable features.

"But you do seem troubled sometimes," he continued, and Claire's smile dropped. "I'm not trying to pry, but it's obvious that you've got some scars, like everyone really. But you handle them well, and it makes me wonder what a girl like you…" Claire glared at him. "What a woman like you, wants out of life, and I don't mean work or Terrasave. I mean, what would you be doing if bio-companies hadn't wrecked your life?"

"I don't know," Claire honestly answered. "What about you?"

"If I'd never learned about places like Exaction the hard way, I think that I'd be a businessman or consultant—something working with people. And I'd like a family with two kids, a dog, a big backyard, etc. It sounds so stereotypical, but I grew up that way and loved it. Not many people can say that, I think, and I'd like my family to have a simple, happy life. You probably think that I'm a complete sap."

"No," Claire assured. "I understand. I used to want to same thing. Maybe I still do, but I'm not so sure anymore. Things can really change over a few short months, but I'd like a family…" The concerned look on her face led the topic to fade into silence. "You'd be really good at the whole family thing," Claire finally said, a bit lighter. She had once envied people like Ethan when she was young and dealing with harsh, adoptive situations, but now she wasn't sure what she was feeling. The image that Ethan had presented was attractive, but Claire couldn't stir up the same yearning that she had once felt anymore. The simple, normal lives of everyday people…she hated dealing with this new dilemma. She didn't know if she was still attached to the image from habit or if it was genuine desire.

"Let's turn in for the night," Ethan suggested. "It's eight, and we've been driving all day. We're almost back to Terrasave anyway." Claire agreed and they pulled into a large hotel beside the highway. Claire paused at the hotel's entrance as she eyed a black car pulling into the parking lot near their vehicle. Hadn't she seen that car throughout the day? It was hard to be sure after hours of driving, for the monotony of the experience had made her frequently lose focus. She waited a moment, but no one stepped out of the black car, and Ethan was calling for her to catch up. It was probably nothing, she decided.

Claire flopped her small bag beside the hotel bed and emptied her pockets of several empty candy wrappers and her cell phone. She ran her fingers over the small screen and wondered when Wesker would call her again. It would have been nice if he'd called to make sure that she'd gotten away from Exaction in one piece, but of course he already knew that from tracking her. She set the phone aside and realized that Ethan was ordering Chinese takeout.

"Extra hot sauce for me," she told him, and he grinned as he complied. Claire let her hair down as she pulled open the window curtains to look down on the black car near theirs. An ominous feeling was edging in on her mind, but maybe it was because black cars carried a negative connotation since companies seemed to favor them. What was with the predilection for black cars? She could still imagine the new, leathery smell of Wesker's cars, but she kept herself from reminiscing and instead set a handgun on the nightstand. Intuition was one of her primary lifesavers, and that meant extra caution tonight. If Wesker knew about Exaction and the danger that it presented to her, than she knew that the company's hands were dirty like Umbrella's, and people like that treated life as utterly disposable.

"Expecting company?" Ethan asked her when he noticed the gun.

"Take this, and don't leave the room unless it's completely necessary," Claire said as she held out her second gun to him. Ethan cautiously took it as Claire told him about the car. He hadn't even noticed it, but he took her word for it.

"You're really used to this sort of thing, aren't you?" Ethan joked with a strained tone. He and Claire were sitting on the edge of his bed. Claire said yes and Ethan fiddled with the safety on his gun. "Can I ask you something personal?" Claire reservedly nodded. "The phone call the other day…" He laughed. "Oh, I sound like a school kid. I'm just curious to know if you have a boyfriend, a special someone, whatever you want to call it."

"There's no boyfriend," Claire said. But there is a special someone. She didn't want to talk about Wesker right now. Her relationship with him didn't come within the bounds of what Ethan was referring to, and the unspoken connection that she had with her former captor was something precious that she was not about to expose. She didn't know if she could properly verbalize it, and, if she did try to explain, she had no idea how accurate it would be since she couldn't speak for Wesker with absolute certainty.

"That's good," Ethan said and then laughed. "That didn't sound the way that I wanted it to…" He used his infectious smile to good effect, for he had Claire happily facing him. Maybe her chances for a normal existence weren't completely gone, she thought as she smiled at Ethan's blatant flirtation. He was a good man, like Steve had been. They were both classified as good men trying to right wrongs in a painful world. Steve was gone, but Claire thought that there was something similar to the young man mirrored in Ethan's bright face. Maybe a normal life and a family with a man like either of them was still what she wanted and Wesker had only clouded her judgment. If there were someone in her life to anchor her to the dreams that Umbrella had taken, maybe she would be free from the emotional torment that Wesker had caused. Maybe she could be free to completely align herself with Chris and the others.

"Claire," Ethan was saying. "You're amazing." Claire laughed, and Ethan laid a hand against hers. "I'm being serious. I've never met a woman who'd risk doing to Exaction what you've done." He gave her hand a squeeze and Claire let him. It felt good to be touched again, but she couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt, for her mind kept wandering toward another man, and what if she got Ethan killed? She was dragging her partner into dangerous territory.

"Thanks for the compliments," Claire told Ethan. "And you're an excellent partner, by the way." Ethan leaned closer.

"Really? Because I'm not the one who came with guns." Claire noted his face drawing closer and closed her eyes. Maybe…Ethan wrapped a hand around her waist and pulled her closer until her hip was touching his thigh. Then his other hand gently encircled her as his lips pressed into hers. Claire moved her mouth against his in response, but her heart wrenched. His touch wasn't the same. She missed the complete confidence of Wesker, although Ethan's slight reservation and caution was touching. Claire gently moved her arms around Ethan's neck, but the movement was more automatic than anything else. And then she realized that the name running through her mind as she was touched had nothing to do with her new partner.

Maybe began turning into maybe not, and Claire's eyes began watering without her awareness.

She wanted a family, but she couldn't see the big yard in an average neighborhood. She wanted to enjoy marriage and have stability, safety, but she didn't see finding it in an environment completely removed from biohazard history. What had happened was engrained in her. She couldn't turn her back and live as if those things had never happened. She saw a child, but it was playing in the woods in a secluded valley.

What terrified Claire the most was that she didn't even want to go back. The realization as her lips continued dancing with Ethan's shocked her. She didn't want to go back to a time before Raccoon City. She now had a purpose in her life that was larger than anything that had preceded it, and Wesker was a part of that new life. She didn't want to live like he meant nothing to her. She couldn't. And he had no one else but her. He had helped her, taught her things that she didn't want to forget. Ethan's dream, her former dream, couldn't fit with Wesker.

When had she changed so much without even noticing?

And she was no longer human, but the reality had stopped being repulsive to her; for she had come to terms with her condition, even given some concerns. That had helped changed certain ideals, she decided. Would someone normal like Ethan accept the truth? Claire found that being human no longer seemed important when she considered a certain blond, someone's arms around her.

The tears were running in torrents down her face now, and Ethan pulled way in confused concern.

"Claire, are you okay? I didn't mean to upset you. I…"

"It's okay," Claire said. "I've got a lot of memories, trust me. I'm sorry, Ethan, but I can't do this." Ethan's eyes softened with a hint of embarrassment as he stood and got her some tissues. "You're a good man," Claire said as she took them and wiped her eyes. He was a good man and she couldn't bring herself to want him. The idea tore her heart open, and she wasn't entirely prepared to examine why. Ethan was going to have a wonderful family some day and make some woman feel loved and cherished. They'd live blissfully ignorant of zombies and monsters. It wasn't what was in store for Claire, and she understood that perfectly well.

And do you know what you'd like to be? I think so, Wesker, but how on earth would it be possible?

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Two heads turned in unison toward the door, and Claire grabbed her gun as she shook her tears away. Ethan gave her a questioning stare before moving toward the door with his gun and looking through the eyehole.

"Delivery guy," he mouthed to Claire as he hurriedly tucked the gun into his belt, behind his back. Claire relaxed somewhat as he opened the door to reveal a Chinese man with a large, paper bag. "Thanks," Ethan said as he handed the man his money. He didn't notice the stiffness of the man, but Claire did. Her nostrils flared as she inhaled and narrowed her eyes. The deliveryman smelled of sweat and fear. She was already running toward the door, gun raised, when Ethan turned around with the paper bag in hand. A man with familiar, cold, green eyes stepped into the doorway behind him as Ethan casually reached to shut the door.

"Ethan! Duck!" Claire yelled, but Ethan hesitated in confusion, and Johann whipped a garroting wire out of his pocket and lifted it above Ethan's head. Claire stopped thinking and launched herself forward with such speed that neither man could follow her. As the wire descended for what would be quick death, Claire grabbed Ethan's tie and yanked him downward. He felled to the floor and out of the wire's swooping arch seconds before his neck was ensnared.

Claire's fist flew and hit Johann in the chest with force that propelled him into the hallway where he slammed into the wall. The hit hurt, but Johann was still functional, and he recovered quickly. He regained his feet and went to pull out his gun when he heard a click. He was staring right down the barrel of Claire's handgun. His eyes stared at her, calculating. No one moved that fast. He hadn't even gotten his gun completely free, and now he was forced to release it and hold his hands up.

Damn it; she was like Albert Wesker. Her eyes were solid gold, and glaring up at him in a hungry manner that Johann recognized. He was about to die if he didn't do something fast.

"Claire, what are you going to do?" Ethan asked as he stepped into the hall behind Claire. She ignored him as her senses were focused on Johann. He was not afraid. In fact, he was incredibly at ease, and the way he was riveted on her eyes…Shit! Claire's sunglasses were in the room. The beaten man must have noticed her discomfort, for he titled his head at her with a contemplative look. Claire eased back her gun. Executing him here, in the hallway was not a good idea. She could easily get them in trouble with government authorities and Exaction.

"Claire?" Ethan called. He did not like the coldness of her posture anymore than he liked thinking about the wire on the floor. "If we kill him, they'll know that it was us. He's right outside our door, and the deliveryman saw us with him." Johann took his chance as Claire glanced to her left, where Ethan was. He whipped a knife from his sleeve and cleanly slashed open Claire's right hand to disable her shooting skills before fleeing down the nearby stairwell. Claire's first reaction was to give chase, but Ethan was here. What would he think if she pummeled a man to death with her bare hands?

She grabbed her wounded limb and ran into their hotel room where she first found her sunglasses and then bound her hand so that Ethan would not see how quickly it healed. He asked to see the wound since he had some medical training, but Claire resisted. She also said that the sunglasses were hiding a bruise that Johann had given her, for she didn't want anyone to see it and get suspicious.

They left the hotel as quickly as Johann had, but the assassin was hardly defeated. He drove a short distance before calling Mr. Lance. Claire's amber eyes and speedy attack flashed in his memory. If she was like Wesker, then she wasn't human anymore, and that made her more valuable than she knew. Lance would be very interested to hear about Claire Redfield, very interested indeed. They'd been working on a procedure for an opportunity like this.