Title: The Edge (Part 10 – The Honeymooners)
Author: Janine
Fandom: Twilight
Pairing: Alice/Bella
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All characters are owned by Stephanie Meyer. I'm just borrowing them.
--
Three Hours Later
"Europe or South America?" Alice asked, her fingers trailing through Bella's hair lightly as Bella's head rested comfortably in her lap.
"Europe," Bella said without a moment of hesitation, her mind filling up with images of museums, vineyards, paintings, ancient streets and churches, and dozens of other picturesque destinations that she had seen in textbooks and movies over the years.
"Hmm, interesting," Alice hummed tapping her index finger against her chin in a scholarly fashion.
"Is it?" Bella asked laughing a little. "Did my answer unintentionally reveal something fascinating about my psyche to you?" she continued smiling. "Have I unconsciously revealed that I used to be a bed wetter, or that I have a strange aversion to squash and alpacas?"
Alice laugher tinkled through the room. "Well," Alice began thoughtfully, "if you were a bed wetter, it would explain the aversion to squash and alpacas."
Bella stared at her. "It would?" she asked dubiously, wondering how the three things could possibly be connected.
"No," Alice said shaking her head sadly, laughing a second later and then ducking to the side when Bella reached up to slap at her.
"My turn," Bella said, mock glaring at Alice after all of her attempts to hit Alice had been thwarted by the raven-haired beauties vampire speed. "Dog or cat?"
"Cat," Alice replied, eyes narrowing at Bella when the younger woman smiled up at her smugly. "What?"
"I knew you were going to say that," Bella said, reaching up to trace her fingertip across Alice's cool cheek. "You're like a cat," she murmured softly, her tone reflective as her fingers drifting down Alice's delicate, yet powerful arms.
"Is this your gentle way of telling me that I should lick myself less, and stop clawing at the houseplants?" Alice asked, her eyes wide with faux concern, her expression causing Bella to laugh. "Because I'm just being hygienic … and, they're springy and fun to play with."
Bella stared at Alice for a second, and then a huge grin broke out across her face before she shook her head from side to side. "You're not funny," she mumbled, but her eyes were still dancing with laughter and exactly the opposite sentiment was transmitted to Alice.
"I think I may be," Alice responded, taking in Bella's smile with happy eyes. "Just a little bit," she continued holding her thumb and index finger minutely apart, as she smiled herself.
"Funny looking," Bella responded automatically, making a funny face at Alice.
Alice sighed deeply and murmured, "Now you're just being mean," before her features rearranging themselves into a comically tragic mask of hurt and despair.
"Meanly wonderful," Bella retorted, smiling as she recalled the conversation in her room months before that had led to their first kiss.
"Oh, we're back to that are we?" Alice asked smiling delightedly. "Ah, fuzzy memories," she sighed, bending down to press her lips against Bella's forehead.
"Fuzzily wonderful," Bella breathed out contently, her hand drifting behind Alice's neck, pulling her down for another, slightly longer kiss.
"Wonderfully wonderful," Alice murmured against Bella's lips, kissing her one more time before pulling back.
"I hope you're pleased with yourself," Bella said softly as Alice settled against the back of the couch once more.
"I usually am," Alice responded seemingly unconcerned with the randomness of Bella's comment. "Why?"
Bella answered by pointing an accusing finger in Alice's direction and intoning, "You've done it now."
"Done what now?" Alice asked curiously, looking down at Bella's face, before playful snapping her teeth at Bella's finger, pressing a kiss against the tip of it when Bella kept on pointing at her, not intimidated in the least by her snapping.
Bella smiled and then pulled back her hand. Alice considered her for a moment and then reached out herself, poking the tip of Bella's nose with her finger.
Bella laughed and swatted her hand away.
"You've turned my clever way of changing sentences around on itself," Bella said finally answering Alice's question, swatting at Alice's hand again as the vampire tried to poke her once more. "Now there's nowhere we can take it. We're just going to go back and forth saying 'wonderfully wonderful' until our heads start to turn 360 degrees. Then smoke will begin to come out of our ears and our heads pop off. Like that computer in War Games. Then where will we be? Huh, smartass? Where will we be then?"
Alice was quiet for a moment, considering everything Bella had just said, her lips twitching in danger of smiling before she managed to get herself under control. She then brought her hand up to and stroked her chin thoughtfully, pretending to deliberate before she focused her gaze on Bella once more.
"I'm going to pretend like I don't know you right now," Alice declared looking down at Bella like she was an unfortunate of some kind, like she was a girl in shorts who had tattoos of pears on the back of both of her legs or something.
"Oh, shut up," Bella said, smiling warmly up at Alice nonetheless.
"Why am I like a cat?" Alice asked a few seconds later, her eyes soft and curious as she looked down at Bella.
"You're graceful," Bella said softly, "every time you move it's like a dance. I could watch you just walk all day," she continued, surprised and delighted that the revelation did not make her blush. "There's something … sublime, almost unearthly about the way a cat moves, like they occupy some other world that we can only begin to guess at. It's the same with you. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that you're real," Bella whispered, "that something as magnificent as you could really exist," she continued.
Alice blinked rapidly in response to her words, almost as if tears were actually forming in her eyes. She stroked Bella's face, her lips parted as if to say something, but no words feel from her lips.
"Then of course, there's your eyes," Bella added trying to lighten the conversation and return the mood between them to the light, playful way it had been before she had gotten way too serious answering Alice's question.
"Sometimes," Alice began blinkingly slowly, "when I'm around you, I swear I can feel my heart beating, wildly, in my chest," she continued, shaking her head as she spoke. "My heart hasn't beat for a very long time, the phantom thumps should be long over," she went on, "but at times, like now," she said her voice lowering. "It feels so real, as if somehow … by loving me, you've brought me back to life."
Bella's eyes closed, and she breathed in and out very slowly, trying to control her emotions. Alice's words should have made her heart sing with joy, but instead her heart contracted painfully in her chest.
She wouldn't be able to handle Alice leaving again if she continued to say things like that to her. She loved Alice, quite madly, of that she was sure, but she knew that she would never have Alice completely, and it killed her inside a little when Alice said such sweet things, because they made her heart believe, if only for a moment, that she could have Alice, forever.
"What is it?" Alice asked softly, stroking Bella's cheek. "What did I say?" she asked, her voice a touch anxious.
She could practically feel Bella's distress, and wanted to help alleviate it, but she didn't know what she had done to cause it in the first place.
"Alice," Bella said, working very hard to force the name past her lips. She was about to bring up a subject that she had tried very hard to ignore since she had curled up in Alice's lap the evening before, and she wasn't looking forward to it. "Why … why did you let this happen?" she asked, motioning between them. "Last night, and in your letter, you said that you left because you didn't want to hurt Jasper. You said that you couldn't be with me because of him. But now," Bella said sighing, "it's like you're not worried about that anymore. Why is that?"
Alice closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, taking a moment to gather her thoughts.
"Jasper and I have been together a very long time," Alice said finally, her eyes opening again as she spoke. "A lifetime," she breathed out. "Longer than even the happiest of couples are often married. He knows me, very well," she continued, focusing her attention on Bella completely. "He knew something was bothering me; that something had changed, and didn't question me when I suggested we leave for a while."
Her eyes drifted away from Bella's and began to roam around the room.
"But leaving didn't change anything. I was still distant … distracted," she sighed. "I tried not to talk about you. I knew Jasper would be able to pick up on my confusion and distress, but when Carlisle, Esme and Edward joined us, your name came up quite a bit and Jasper … eventually he was able to decipher the tangle of emotions that your name brought up me. He asked me about it, and I couldn't lie to him. I wouldn't. After all of the time we've been together, he deserved the truth from me, no matter how potentially hurtful."
Alice closed her eyes, clamping them tightly together. Bella squeezed Alice's hand encouragingly, but said nothing, giving her the time she needed.
"Things were rough for a while … after I told him," she continued a little while later. "But eventually, he accepted that I hadn't meant to … fall in love with you, and that once I had, there was nothing that I could do to stop the feelings, not really. I think it meant something to him, that I tried, that I suggested we leave."
Alice sighed deeply then, her hand moving up to her head so that her fingers could tangle in her hair, pulling at the short strands anxiously.
"Despite my revelation, he knew that I still loved him, deeply, and so we cared on. Me trying very hard not to think of you in his presence and him ignoring it when I did and my emotions would bleed through to him."
Alice breathed in and then exhaled heavily, her eyes finally dropping down to look at Bella, to see how she was dealing with the information. Her features were slightly pinched, but Bella held her hand warmly, and her eyes were open, encouraging her to continue.
"When I called, last night to tell him you were alive," she went on, "What he heard in my voice … I can't even …" she murmured softly, almost to herself as she shook her head rapidly from side to side. "He … he told me to follow my heart, and that," she paused, struggling for a moment to continue, "and that no matter where it led me, that we'd work through it." She touched Bella's cheek, the backs of her fingers brushing reverently against her warm flesh. "It was as close as he could come to giving me his blessing."
Bella closed her eyes, her heart constricting painfully as she thought about Jasper's selflessness and his giving.
"He's …" Bella began struggling to find the words.
"Yeah," Alice whispered softly, her lips curving up into a soft smile before she breathed in deeply and began to blink rapidly once again.
Bella knew that she would be crying if she could, and she lifted her hand to Alice's cheek, stroking away the imaginary tears.
"Is it terrible that I want to kiss you very, very badly right now?" Bella asked, desperately needing to be closer to Alice, but not knowing how Alice would respond to it after her deeply emotional reveal.
"No," Alice said softly, shaking her head a bit. "In fact I'd like that a lot."
Bella sat up and moved so that she was straddling Alice's waist. Sparing a moment to pet Alice's hair softly, she then leaned forward, brining their lips together. She quickly lost herself in the kiss; moaning softly as Alice's hands gently explored her back.
"I don't know what to say," Bella said, slightly out of breath as she and Alice separated. "I want to just apologize over and over again for making such a mess of everything."
Alice reached up, brushing some strands of brown hair behind Bella's ears, and then leaned forward, kissing her cheek softly.
"You have nothing to apologize for," Alice said softly, her fingers stroking the shell of Bella's ear. "You didn't do anything wrong," she continued sighing. "Sometimes, in life, things just happen, and we can't control them or stop them no matter how much we wish we could … or think we should."
"But," Bella began, her voice cracking a little as she spoke, "He must hate me. He must hate me so much," she whispered, her eyes burning as she pictured Jasper's kind, handsome face directed at her, his beautiful features twisted in loathing as he gazed hatefully at her.
"He doesn't hate you," Alice said, no trace of doubt in her voice. "Really, he doesn't," she continued, kissing Bella's cheek once more. "Jasper, more than anyone I know understands people, sees what is inside of them, and despite what has happened with us, he knows that you're not a cruel person, or a callous one, and that you never would have done anything to intentionally hurt him," she went on, dropping her own head momentarily. "Things will be okay," Alice said finally looking up at Bella once more. "There's too much love between us all for them not to be."
"Love doesn't always conquer all," Bella breathed out, her eyes tracing Alice's timelessly beautiful face.
"No, it doesn't," Alice agreed, a sad, faraway look momentarily clouding her expression. "But we can believe it will in this case, and try as hard as we can to make it so. And we can hope. Hope that love, and desire, and effort will be enough."
Bella nodded and then rested her forehead against Alice's.
"Do you see anything?" Bella asked, the index finger of her right hand poking against Alice's temple lightly.
"About us?" Alice asked, smiling a little, her tone lighter than it had been before.
"Yeah," Bella murmured.
"I saw this," Alice said, taking Bella's hand in her own and bringing it up to her lips. "After I talked to Jasper," she continued tracing the delicate skin on the inside of Bella's wrist with her thumb, "I saw us together … making love," she went on, the last two words coming out as a gentle sigh. "But other than that, there've been no visions. Life, even for me, is still mostly a mystery," she concluded smiling gently before kissing the tip of Bella's nose.
"Good," Bella sighed happily.
"Why?" Alice asked curiously, large honey-coloured eyes peering up at her.
"Because I want to be able to surprise you," Bella responded.
"Oh, you do," Alice said laughing lightly, "constantly. Speaking of which, do you think that maybe you could look into taking up some less … shall we say, 'colourful' recreational activities?"
Bella pouted and then sighed. "Don't worry. Cliff jumping is definitely not an experience I want to repeat. That being said, I can't really say that I regret doing it the one time."
"Hammer and tongs, Bella!" Alice exclaimed, practically sputtering as she stared wide-eyed at her lover. "You really should."
"Hammers and tongs?" Bella asked, momentarily forgetting her defensive.
"I was born in 1901, what do you want from me?" Alice asked with mock aggravation, as she smiled a little sheepishly. "Besides, that's not really the part of that you should be focused on," she continued, her eyes becoming more serious though her tone stayed light. "You nearly died Bella, how could you not regret that?"
"Because it made you come back," Bella said softly. "If I hadn't jumped, you wouldn't have had the vision, and you wouldn't have come back, and we never would have gotten a chance to talk about things, and to be together … so, even though I almost died, I'm not sorry. I can't be."
Alice stared at her for a long moment after that, and then moaned, "My god, my god, if I wasn't already deceased, you'd be the death of me." And then she lifted both of her hands, cupped Bella's cheek and kissed her again, and again, until Bella was breathless.
"You're right though," Alice said softly once they pulled apart. "No matter how monumentally ill-conceived and knuckle-headed jumping was, it brought together again, and I'm not sorry for that either."
Bella smiled and took Alice's hand in hers before she leaned forward to kiss her lips lightly once more. However, something Alice had said earlier finally clicked with her and she pulled back with gasp, her lips never having reached Alice's.
"Alice," Bella whispered fiercely, her hands gripping Alice's arms.
"What?" Alice asked concerned, unable to tell whether Bella was excited or terrified.
"You said you were born in 1901," Bella said squeezing her arms.
Alice nodded, her eyes still staring at Bella questioningly.
"How do you know that?" Bella asked anxiously. "I thought you didn't remember anything from before you were turned."
"I don't," Alice said relaxing now that she knew what had gotten Bella so worked up. She'd forgotten how exuberant Bella could be at times. "But while I was away I did some research, based on the information you gave me last spring," she continued.
"What did you find out?" Bella asked, practically bouncing in Alice's lap. "I mean besides your birthday, of course," Bella added still jittering in Alice's lap.
Alice laughed; the sound light and content. "Calm down, Bella," she said gently, freeing her arms from Bella's grasp so that she could softly stroke her back. "Quite a bit, and not enough," she continued, her tone sobering a little as she continued to stroke Bella's back until the younger woman stopped vibrating and was still. "Let's lie down," Alice suggested, picking Bella up easily, holding Bella securely as she stretched out along the couch before she released Bella, allowing her to snuggle up to her side.
"My name was Mary Alice Brandon," Alice began softly, her eyes drifting up to the ceiling, staring at the calming white of it as she spoke. "And I had a sister … younger than me, named Cynthia. My family was largely unremarkable. I was only able to find some basic information about them on microfiche, since they weren't part of the social circle that made the papers …"
Bella wrapped her arms securely around Alice's waist, listening intently as she spoke. She asked questions every now and then, but for the most part she just let Alice speak, and tried to memorize every detail she could about the past of the woman who now held her heart.
--
Later That Evening
Charlie walked into the house and stopped, dead in his tracks, staring into the living room.
Bella tilted her head back, peering at him around the arm of the couch as her foot continued to tap where it was resting in Alice's lap.
"Hey, Dad," Bella called out, her voice a little louder than it normally would have been to compensate for the music playing in the room.
He looked absolutely shell-shocked but she wasn't sure why. After he had finished yelling at her and grounding her that morning, she had told him that Alice was in town and would be staying with them until she returned to her family. Then, halfway through breakfast, Alice had returned to the house and she had Charlie had had a civil conversation before he left for the reservation to help with the preparations for Harry's funeral.
"There's music," Charlie said instead of 'hello'. He sounded absolutely dumbfounded, and after blinking for a few seconds, he glanced over at Alice, as if he hoped that she could explain what was happening to him.
Bella laughed lightly, and then felt bad about it when Charlie turned to look at her. She understood now why he looked so confused. During the horrible depression that had come over her after the Cullen's had left town, she had been unable to stand the sound of music. She had winced whenever she heard others playing it, and not only had she boxed up all of her CDs and moved them into the basement, but she had also ripped her radio out of her truck. And now, there she was, relaxing on the couch, music playing loudly throughout the room, seemingly without a care in the world.
Bella thought that it was no wonder Charlie looked confused. He couldn't know that Alice's return had filled up the gaping hole in her chest and made her heart start to beat again. He couldn't know that Alice had filled her with life and hope again.
"It's Alice's," Bella said loud enough that Charlie could hear, trying to explain and ease his confusion. "She wouldn't stand for my musical boycott, and immediately retrieved her ipod," she continued turning away from Charlie long enough to share a grin with Alice. "She wouldn't take no for an answer."
Alice nodded, expressing that it was true, that it was all true.
"It's Astrud Gilberto," Alice said, her eyes on Charlie as he walked tentatively into the room and plopped himself into the arm chair next to the couch. "This one's … Corcovado," she said after listening to the song for a moment. "Nice, isn't it?" she asked smiling brightly. "She's practically the only thing I listened to when we were in Rio," she said sighing nostalgically.
Bella smirked and controlled the urge to poke Alice playfully in the stomach with her big toe. The way she phrased it made it seem like she was talking about a recent vacation, but Bella knew that Alice was referring to being in Rio when the music was originally recorded … in the 1950s.
Charlie nodded, still staring at them wearily, almost as if he expected a Tyrannosaurus Rex to come crashing through the room before he suddenly woke up and realized that it was all a fantastically jazzy dream.
"Are you hungry, Dad?" Bella asked, beginning to feel really badly about giving him such a shock. Now that she really looked at him she could see that he looked drawn and impossibly tired, and that walking into what could as well have been an episode Twilight Zone had pretty much finished him off for the night. "I could fix you a plate," she continued drawing her legs out of Alice's lap and standing.
"I cooked it!" Alice piped up, her voice coming out alarmingly loud as Bella moved over to the ipod and lowered the volume.
Charlie looked over at her surprised. Somehow he didn't really associate Alice with food. Like her brother, Charlie didn't think that he had ever seen Alice consume an item of food. When she had been spending a lot of time with them after Phoenix, he had even mentioned it to Bella, wondering if Alice had some kind of eating disorder. But Bella had told him that Alice kept strange hours and ate at strange times because it. It seemed a strange explanation to him, but Alice she was always full of energy when he saw her, she never seemed to get sick, and she never lost weight so he eventually accepted what Bella had said. Still, despite the fact that he knew she had to eat, the thought of her cooking seemed strange to him because he had never seen her eat.
"Don't worry Dad, I supervised," Bella piped up seeing his look. "It's completely edible."
"Hey!" Alice exclaimed. "I'm vaguely insulted here. I slaved over a hot stove all day … well, a brief part of the afternoon in any case, and disbelief and mocking is the thanks I get? That's not right," she said shaking her head. "There ought to be a movement," she continued grinning at Bella.
"Let me guess, a women's movement," Bella said laughing lightly, able to anticipate where Alice was going with her little joke.
"Yes, a movement. A movement to … to, liberate women. A women's liberation movement, if you will," Alice responded, grinning widely as Bella groaned and shook her head as if she was in pain. "Let your dishtowels go!" Alice said in a sing-song, lifting her arm in the air.
Charlie looked between them, a mildly confused but tentatively happy smile on his lips. It was very similar to the expression he had worn when she started to spend time with Jacob, only it was a little bit wearier. He liked Alice, but her connection to Edward made him uncomfortable, and even more so than with Jacob, Bella was certain that her father was hesitant to hope that the exuberance Alice had brought out in her would stay.
"You're silly," Bella said grinning at Alice. She looked over at her father. "I'll be right back," she told him, and with that she moved into the kitchen, finally understanding just how much she had put her father through over the past six months and swearing to make it up to him.
Alice followed Bella's progress out of the room, not needing to turn around to know that Charlie's eyes were on her, not his daughter. When Bella entered the hallway and was out of sight, Alice moved over to the other end of the couch, closer to Charlie and turned to face him.
"You know how grateful I am to you, don't you?" Charlie asked the moment Alice's eyes met him, knowing they didn't have too much time until Bella returned.
When Bella had been injured in Phoenix the spring before, he been completely overwhelmed and had had no idea how he was going to manage. But then Alice had swept in like a teenage Mary Poppins, and had taken care of Bella (and him to certain degree) like she was family, and after that, he himself had held a considerable amount of affection for the small girl.
Alice nodded, silent and serious.
"But then you hurt her," Charlie said, his voice low, his eyes blazing as he held Alice's gaze. "Everyone thinks it was your brother," he continued, his voice soft as could be though his eyes were hard. "But it started before he left. The change was less noticeable, less severe when only you were gone, but it was there. I saw it. I know it started with you," he continued, watching as Alice tilted her head up to the ceiling, her eyes blinking rapidly before she lowered her head and gazed down at her lap.
Alice looked impossibly young at that moment, and Charlie sighed, and leaned back slightly, easing off of her. No matter what she had done, she was a child too and he had to remember that.
"I don't think you meant to hurt her," he began. His voice was gentler than it had been before.
"I didn't," Alice said her voice cracking as she looked over at him. "That's the last thing I ever wanted to do. I care about her … so much," she continued, blinking again. "I'm so sorry, Charlie. Really, I am."
Charlie breathed in and out deeply, Alice's obvious distress affecting him.
She was a good girl, he knew that. There was an innate sweetness and warmth to Alice, a kindness and concern to her that had immediately endeared her to him. She was so bubbly and personable, almost the exact opposite of her brother, and Charlie had been glad that Bella had such a good friend, which was why it had shocked him so much to see the devastation that Alice had managed to cause seemingly overnight.
"I don't know what happened between the two of you," Charlie began, his tone bewildered. Right before Alice had left, she and Bella had seemed to be closer than ever, and he couldn't imagine how things had managed to go so terribly wrong in so short an amount of time. "I've heard that the friendships between teenage girls can be intense to a degree that is completely incomprehensible to men, especially old farts like me," he continued shaking his head again. "I know that you care about her, and I can see how … how badly you feel. But I just … I never want to see my little girl like that again. Do you understand what I mean, Alice?"
Alice nodded again, still blinking.
"Just … you be gentle with her," Charlie continued, sighing. "Bella's an amazing girl. A strong girl, but she's not indestructible. Understand Alice, your actions have consequences, so you be thoughtful with my girl. You have to look out for her."
Alice breathed in and out deeply, and then nodded. "I will," she swore looking up and holding Charlie's gaze. "I promise I won't hurt her like that again. You have my word," she declared, her voice shivering with intensity.
Charlie held her gaze for a good five seconds, and then nodded.
"Then it's good to have you back," Charlie said, pausing for a second before sticking his hand out in Alice's direction.
Alice looked at the proffered hand and smiled, then gladly reached out and grasped it, shaking it with a firmness that left Charlie surprised and impressed. The girl had a grip on her.
"Alright," Bella declared breezing back into the room a plate and a bottle of beer in her hands. "Dinner is served."
To be continued …
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