YOU DECIDE TO SEE IF ZETSU WOULD LIKE SOME HELP:
"Hey, Zetsu-san," you called as the oddly black and white plant-man headed towards the door. "Where are you picking up the poinsettias? Would you like some help carrying them?"
Zetsu turned so that he could see who was calling him past the Venus-flytrap-like leaves which surrounded his head and shoulders. "Oh . . . Natasha-san, it's you," he stated in a polite but subdued voice: his white personality. "I only have to go to my greenhouse to get them, but an extra set of hands would be helpful. There are ten plants."
He turned and continued out the door, not looking back to see if you were following him. Of course, you were following right behind. You had a bit of a crush on Zetsu: ever since you were a child you had loved plants and felt that each one had a personality, even if they didn't have souls. So you had been positively thrilled to meet a plant which did have a soul and could talk to you in a way which your daisies and snapdragons never could. The fact that he was a carnivorous plant made you a little nervous; and that black personality of his could be downright terrifying. But you were too optimistic a person to be put off by such flaws.
You ran forward a few steps so you could walk beside Zetsu up the stony path to his greenhouse. "So, Zetsu-san, I didn't know you had your own greenhouse. What sorts of plants do you grow there? Carnivorous ones, I'll bet, like yourself? Or maybe plants that Sasori-san can use to make poisons?"
Zetsu glanced down at you. "Why is the little brat trying to talk to us?" The black personality emerged.
"Be polite; she is simply coming with us to help carry the poinsettias."
"Hmph, maybe she could help more by becoming a food source; she's a little scrawny, but then I'm sure I'd have the strength to carry all ten plants myself."
"Hush, you're scaring her." He gave you a small smile. "I'm sorry Natasha-san. He's only teasing you, you know."
"Oh, I'm not worried. I know you won't eat me!" You favored him with a huge grin.
"Really? How can you be so sure?" asked the black side.
"Well, you only eat stuff that's already dead, right?"
"It wouldn't be that hard to kill you, little girl," the black one sneered.
"I'm not afraid," you boasted. "After all, I am a trained ninja; I know how to protect myself. Anyway, presumably Leader-sama told you not to eat other Akatsuki members, or you would have eaten them all already!"
"Leader-sama did not have to say such a thing to me," the white one's voice informed you as he stood up a little straighter. "I don't just eat humans indiscriminately you know, and it isn't as if I don't enjoy other meats as well. It's just when I see a fallen foe I see no reason not to indulge myself in the treat of human flesh. It's really kind of like recycling; I'm helping to keep the planet clean!"
He seemed a bit huffy, and you hastened to smooth over any feathers (or leaves, as the case may be) which you might have inadvertently ruffled. "I'm sorry, Zetsu-san. I didn't mean to offend you; I was being flippant." You looked down, your cheeks tinged with pink. "And of course I know you wouldn't eat me because I trust you, Zetsu-san! Would I have offered to help you if I didn't think I would live through the encounter?"
He glanced down at you, nonplussed and unsure of what to say. You, however, looked ahead and noticed that you were coming to a clearing with a large greenhouse in it. "Oh my, it's enormous!" you squealed happily.
Once inside, your first impulse was to dash around looking at all the beautiful plants, but Zetsu held you back with a few words: "Many of the plants in this part of the greenhouse are dangerous. Please do not touch or examine anything without asking me first."
"Please then, won't you give me a tour?" you pleaded with a smile. "It won't take long to get the poinsettias to the headquarters. We have time, don't we?"
"She wants to see our plants?" His black personality sounded oddly uncertain.
"So it would seem. Should we show them to her?"
"I . . . guess so."
He led you through the various rooms of the greenhouse, telling you about each plant: where it came from, and what it was for. As you had anticipated, many of the plants were carnivorous or poisonous or otherwise dangerous. For instance, he showed you one small, wide-leafed plant which produced a secretion which could dissolve bones. You were very surprised, however, when he opened a door to show you neat rows of vegetable plants, and even a couple of potted citrus trees down at the end.
"So, do all the vegetables that we eat come from here?" you asked as you looked in awe at the beautiful plants.
"Well, many of them do." You turned to look at him and noted the merest hint of pink in his white cheek. Was he proud, or embarrassed, or both, you wondered.
"You know, when I was a kid, I used to grow lots of vegetables, and flowers too! I was even in a gardening club for awhile." You smiled up at him.
"What kinds of flowers did you grow?" he asked softly.
"Oh, the usual kinds: foxgloves and marigolds and coreopsis and bee balm; lots of herbs too. And I had the most beautiful 'Kronegan von Danemark' rosebush; I got it for my birthday when I was seven! Not really your sort of plants, though," you said, looking down and blushing at your own enthusiasm.
"Really?" He pushed open the last door in the greenhouse to reveal a small room crowded with summer flowers and herbs; there were even two topiary rosebushes on either side of a bench at the far end of the room.
"Oh Zetsu-san, it's beautiful," you breathed.
"Hmph, it's not like I like these things," groused the black side.
"Well, I like them," stated the white side with a more obvious blush.
You rushed into the room and started to look over the flowers, recognizing most of them and greeting them merrily in your heart as if they were all very old, very dear friends whom you had feared you would never see again. Zetsu watched you carefully, your happiness mirrored on your face, and considered his next words.
"Natasha-san, if you promised to only come here when I was here, you could help to take care of the plants here. You could even help me decide which vegetables and flowers to grow . . . um, that is, if you were interested in doing so . . ." He was now blushing so hard that the white half of his face was almost peach colored.
"Really?" You turned quickly to look at him. "You'd let me come help take care of the plants with you?"
He nodded his head, smiling slightly at the joy suffusing your face. "Oh, Zetsu-san!" Your enthusiasm ran away with you as you launched yourself at him and glomped the poor fellow so hard that he fell down with you on top of him. "I just like you so much I don't know what to do!"
"You like . . . us?" asked the white personality in confusion.
"Which of us do you like?" asked the black personality in quick succession.
You smiled down at him, blushing madly (having just realized your position), and stated "Actually, I think I like you both!" Then, noting his odd expression which mingled confusion, horror and hope, you gently laid your lips against his own black and white pair. They were soft and warm and you noticed that he smelled wonderfully of fresh-plowed earth and green growing things. "Umm, yep, I definitely like you both!" You smiled into the kiss as his lips began to respond to yours.
All ten poinsettias were safely transported back to headquarters, and the two of you had a great time at the party, sitting in a corner and discussing additions to next year's garden!
Your kiss was soft and tender!